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Talk About Your Relationships Here

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  • 03-01-2008 3:23pm
    #1
    Cathmandooo
    Registered Users Posts: 17,324 ✭✭✭✭


    <snip>

    Was asked it delete this first post... but still think we need some where to rant instead of making up a new thread every day, so please rant away.... ex's... currents... girlfriends/boyfriends... whatever.

    Jules


«134567…36

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    #2
    Star Lord
    Registered Users Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    That'd be head wrecking alright, just go back to ignoring him again, by the sound of it, you'd be better off.


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    #3
    Rozabeez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,878 ✭✭✭Rozabeez


    I'm not even going to go there.


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    #4
    Cathmandooo
    Registered Users Posts: 17,324 ✭✭✭✭Cathmandooo


    I will dont worry! Sorry if this turned into a bit of a PI, we can all vent in here tho ;)


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    #5
    *Page*
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,811 ✭✭✭*Page*


    one wrote my name and number and a little paragraph in the gents in fibbers, another kept ringing me on my mobile for months after at stupid times at night and then when i stopped answering (i changed my number) he started ring my parents land line at stupid times at night...

    he's a head wrecker... things are probably crap with his gf and he's striking things up with you again


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    #6
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    no man is worth my tears.

    He can only wreck your head if you let him. so just forget about it and get on with your life


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    #7
    RubyXI
    Registered Users Posts: 1,596 ✭✭✭RubyXI


    once they get into your head, it's very hard to get em out.


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    #8
    Zombrex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25,848 ✭✭✭✭Zombrex


    Cathooo wrote: »
    Was I being ungrateful or am I right to think he's messing with my head? :mad:

    Sorry for the rant, just getting tired of stupid games.

    He is messing with your head, but then he did it to mess with your head. He did it to see if he would get a reaction out of you (he clearly did).

    Now I don't mean to imply that he is being nasty, or trying to upset you.

    He is trying to impress you.

    Guys have this funny thing where even after we are broken up, even after we are moved on and are with someone else, we still like to think that all the people we used to go out with are hung up about us. Its a confidence thing.

    We like to think that even if someone is with someone else that someone else, who ever they are, are not as good as we were. We like to think that we are the "best boyfriend you ever had" and we also like to think that you think this about us.

    Its one of the reasons why guys get so upset not when they find out a ex is seeing someone else, but when we find out that an ex is sleeping with that someone else. We dread the idea that the new boyfriend is better in bed than us, as we lose this sense that at the very least gave you something no other man could (note this has nothing to do with reality. You might have slept with tons of guys better than us before you even met us. But we convince ourselves that isn't true to start with, and then like to hold on to the idea that no one after us will be any good either).

    The reason he drove all the way with the card is to (subconsciously) impress you, because he wanted the reaction of you being impressed and thinking "wow, he is great, look what he did"


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    #9
    citytillidie
    Registered Users Posts: 21,997 ✭✭✭✭citytillidie


    Burn the card and forget about him. Best thing to do is not have any contact with Ex's after you have split up.

    ******



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    #10
    Time Magazine
    Registered Users Posts: 8,452 ✭✭✭Time Magazine


    That, or he still likes you and thought it would be Hollywood-esque. Or maybe he was just trying to be nice.


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    #11
    Cathmandooo
    Registered Users Posts: 17,324 ✭✭✭✭Cathmandooo


    irishbird wrote: »
    He can only wreck your head if you let him. so just forget about it and get on with your life

    I did forget about him and have moved on, I was a bit sad about being alone at xmas as it was, nothing to do with him at all, then bam he does this.
    Wicknight wrote: »
    He is messing with your head, but then he did it to mess with your head. He did it to see if he would get a reaction out of you (he clearly did).

    Now I don't mean to imply that he is being nasty, or trying to upset you.

    He is trying to impress you.

    Guys have this funny thing where even after we are broken up, even after we are moved on and are with someone else, we still like to think that all the people we used to go out with are hung up about us. Its a confidence thing.

    We like to think that even if someone is with someone else that someone else, who ever they are, are not as good as we were. We like to think that we are the "best boyfriend you ever had" and we also like to think that you think this about us.

    Its one of the reasons why guys get so upset not when they find out a ex is seeing someone else, but when we find out that an ex is sleeping with that someone else. We dread the idea that the new boyfriend is better in bed than us, as we lose this sense that at the very least gave you something no other man could (note this has nothing to do with reality. You might have slept with tons of guys better than us before you even met us. But we convince ourselves that isn't true to start with, and then like to hold on to the idea that no one after us will be any good either).

    The reason he drove all the way with the card is to (subconsciously) impress you, because he wanted the reaction of you being impressed and thinking "wow, he is great, look what he did"


    My god. That's probably the most insightful thing I've ever read. He's never gonna admit that to me obviously but it makes a whole lot of sense, cos he's not a nasty person! I've reread your post a few times and it's just screaming 'bingo' so thank you.


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    #12
    LouOB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭LouOB


    i broke up with my bf and we got back together later on but....

    he held a poker lads night on my birthday so i had to stay in friends house
    he bought me nice pressie only after we broke up
    he brought me flowers for my exams - on my credit card

    men are silly - they do not have capacity to think about their actions before they do them, and scratch their balls at the same time. once i appreciated this gene, i was able to forgive bf and take him back. after much dilberation that is..


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    #13
    Cathmandooo
    Registered Users Posts: 17,324 ✭✭✭✭Cathmandooo


    *Page* wrote: »
    one wrote my name and number and a little paragraph in the gents in fibbers, another kept ringing me on my mobile for months after at stupid times at night and then when i stopped answering (i changed my number) he started ring my parents land line at stupid times at night...


    Good lord :eek: men eh? ;)


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    #14
    DubLegs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 277 ✭✭DubLegs


    oh where to start!!!!

    My ex broke up 3 yrs ago (he didn't want "commitment") - first yr spend as "friends" falling back into the same old couple pattern. after a year of that i had enough and cut contact. I met someone new (current beau) eventually me and ex got talking again purely friends. told ex about current beau - 2 days later he begged me to get back together with him. so i was torn!!!! Eventually decided to stick with current beau as wasn't been treated badly again. That was nearly two years ago and me and beau are still going strong.

    i'm still friends with the ex, and have both agreed friends only & friends first. We have a laugh and are really good mates, and i wouldn't not say it was easy to get to where we are. He has a new girlfriend that doesn't like me and i'm not her biggest fan either. My ex has never met my current beau (who knows all about what happened when we got together) but next week is the first time they will meet and i'm excitied and nervous at the same time!

    Ex are painful sometimes.


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    #15
    citytillidie
    Registered Users Posts: 21,997 ✭✭✭✭citytillidie


    *Page* wrote: »
    one wrote my name and number and a little paragraph in the gents in fibbers, another kept ringing me on my mobile for months after at stupid times at night and then when i stopped answering (i changed my number) he started ring my parents land line at stupid times at night...

    he's a head wrecker... things are probably crap with his gf and he's striking things up with you again


    Now that is very shocking no one should do that no matter how bad the split was. My ex two timed me but I would never ever put someone through that no matter how much she hurt me.

    ******



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    #16
    Lil' Smiler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,475 ✭✭✭Lil' Smiler


    hmm... let me see...after cheating on me for the 3rd time (that I know of), final time being in thailand he apparently had some big 36 hour romp in bed with this girl who is..just ugh and danish.....anyway....

    ...i tried the being a little bit civil thing seeing as we had mutual friends and then realised it was just easier for me to move on and cut him out of my life.

    so he'd sent me emails.. one being when he'd "realised" what a bad thing he'd done etc and how he realised all my family & I had done for him etc (that's another story) and I'd either not replied or blatantly told him i wanted nothing to do with him, he very cheekily text one day asking would I get him his halloween cotume

    Now you can imagine what I thought. Haven't heard from him since that last time i told him to FO


    Things I've heard about him since.. he's been arrested twice for being drunk and disorderly, he put on alot of weight and most recently he has a "6 baller" which was him, 2 guys and 2 not very attractive girls

    ...I myself have been with my current (amazing) bf for over a year and the happiest I have been in a long long time, have a better life, am independent etc

    That reeks of "indepent woman"-ness / girl power doesn't it? ha ha!!


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    #17
    Kazobel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    Wicknight wrote: »
    He is messing with your head, but then he did it to mess with your head. He did it to see if he would get a reaction out of you (he clearly did).

    Now I don't mean to imply that he is being nasty, or trying to upset you.

    He is trying to impress you.

    Guys have this funny thing where even after we are broken up, even after we are moved on and are with someone else, we still like to think that all the people we used to go out with are hung up about us. Its a confidence thing.

    We like to think that even if someone is with someone else that someone else, who ever they are, are not as good as we were. We like to think that we are the "best boyfriend you ever had" and we also like to think that you think this about us.

    Its one of the reasons why guys get so upset not when they find out a ex is seeing someone else, but when we find out that an ex is sleeping with that someone else. We dread the idea that the new boyfriend is better in bed than us, as we lose this sense that at the very least gave you something no other man could (note this has nothing to do with reality. You might have slept with tons of guys better than us before you even met us. But we convince ourselves that isn't true to start with, and then like to hold on to the idea that no one after us will be any good either).

    The reason he drove all the way with the card is to (subconsciously) impress you, because he wanted the reaction of you being impressed and thinking "wow, he is great, look what he did"


    Brilliant post, I'm impressed with your honesty, not many guys would have the stones to admit all that 038.gif038.gif038.gif


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    #18
    Cathmandooo
    Registered Users Posts: 17,324 ✭✭✭✭Cathmandooo


    Lil' Smiler wrote: »
    hmm... let me see...after cheating on me for the 3rd time (that I know of), final time being in thailand he apparently had some big 36 hour romp in bed with this girl who is..just ugh and danish.....anyway....

    ...i tried the being a little bit civil thing seeing as we had mutual friends and then realised it was just easier for me to move on and cut him out of my life.

    so he'd sent me emails.. one being when he'd "realised" what a bad thing he'd done etc and how he realised all my family & I had done for him etc (that's another story) and I'd either not replied or blatantly told him i wanted nothing to do with him, he very cheekily text one day asking would I get him his halloween cotume

    Now you can imagine what I thought. Haven't heard from him since that last time i told him to FO


    Things I've heard about him since.. he's been arrested twice for being drunk and disorderly, he put on alot of weight and most recently he has a "6 baller" which was him, 2 guys and 2 not very attractive girls

    ...I myself have been with my current (amazing) bf for over a year and the happiest I have been in a long long time, have a better life, am independent etc

    That reeks of "indepent woman"-ness / girl power doesn't it? ha ha!!


    Wow! Delighted you're well clear of him and happy!! Well done you, GIRL POWER :D


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    #19
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    LouOB wrote: »
    i broke up with my bf and we got back together later on but....

    he held a poker lads night on my birthday so i had to stay in friends house
    he bought me nice pressie only after we broke up
    he brought me flowers for my exams - on my credit card

    men are silly - they do not have capacity to think about their actions before they do them, and scratch their balls at the same time. once i appreciated this gene, i was able to forgive bf and take him back. after much dilberation that is..

    As a guy i can tell you i dont think this is anything to do with men being silly, its just him. and you put up with it so he'll do it.

    girlfriends birthday - it's all about her, you can see your mates another night.
    pressie afteryou broke up - he's apologising
    buying flowers on your card - dunno what thats about, seems to be just plain ignorance that he thinks he can use your card.

    this isnt silliness here, he's know he can do this.

    if a guy was doing this to a female friend of mine, i'd very unimpressed by him, and i'd probably advise her to get rid, if even for a while just to scare him.


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    #20
    Kazobel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    I was dating a guy for nearly 3 years, it started great but after a while he changed jobs and start hanging around with new people an got into hash and acid and stuff. I stayed with him for a while (stupidly hoping I could get the old person back, I was 21 and naive :rolleyes: ) but one day he pinned me against a wall and tried to choke me so I booted him out. I felt such relief, it was like a weight was lifted. About a week later he turned up at the door p*ssed and wouldn't stop ringing my door bell and my neighbours until I let him in, I told him he could sleep on the couch but I wanted him out the next morning. I went to bed and couldn't sleep and heard him moving around but assumed he was using the toilet (you had to pass my bed to get to it). It was then he did this(Warning it's not nice).


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    #21
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Kazobel wrote: »
    I was dating a guy for nearly 3 years, it started great but after a while he changed jobs and start hanging around with new people an got into hash and acid and stuff. I stayed with him for a while (stupidly hoping I could get the old person back, I was 21 and naive :rolleyes: ) but one day he pinned me against a wall and tried to choke me so I booted him out. I felt such relief, it was like a weight was lifted. About a week later he turned up at the door p*ssed and wouldn't stop ringing my door bell and my neighbours until I let him in, I told him he could sleep on the couch but I wanted him out the next morning. I went to bed and couldn't sleep and heard him moving around but assumed he was using the toilet (you had to pass my bed to get to it). It was then he did this(Warning it's not nice).

    oh Kaz, i've said it before and i'll say it again, that post just horrifies me. He's lower than a snakes belly. Utter utter w*nker. Well done you for being strong enough to come back from that.


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    #22
    citytillidie
    Registered Users Posts: 21,997 ✭✭✭✭citytillidie


    Kazobel wrote: »
    I was dating a guy for nearly 3 years, it started great but after a while he changed jobs and start hanging around with new people an got into hash and acid and stuff. I stayed with him for a while (stupidly hoping I could get the old person back, I was 21 and naive :rolleyes: ) but one day he pinned me against a wall and tried to choke me so I booted him out. I felt such relief, it was like a weight was lifted. About a week later he turned up at the door p*ssed and wouldn't stop ringing my door bell and my neighbours until I let him in, I told him he could sleep on the couch but I wanted him out the next morning. I went to bed and couldn't sleep and heard him moving around but assumed he was using the toilet (you had to pass my bed to get to it). It was then he did this(Warning it's not nice).


    To the link all i can say is feck that is not right, no guy should ever ever hit a girl.

    ******



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    #23
    Cathmandooo
    Registered Users Posts: 17,324 ✭✭✭✭Cathmandooo


    Oh Kazobel that's horrific! I hope he's gotten all he deserves :mad: god love you for ever having to go through that!


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    #24
    KTRIC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭KTRIC


    Kazobel wrote: »
    I was dating a guy for nearly 3 years, it started great but after a while he changed jobs and start hanging around with new people an got into hash and acid and stuff. I stayed with him for a while (stupidly hoping I could get the old person back, I was 21 and naive :rolleyes: ) but one day he pinned me against a wall and tried to choke me so I booted him out. I felt such relief, it was like a weight was lifted. About a week later he turned up at the door p*ssed and wouldn't stop ringing my door bell and my neighbours until I let him in, I told him he could sleep on the couch but I wanted him out the next morning. I went to bed and couldn't sleep and heard him moving around but assumed he was using the toilet (you had to pass my bed to get to it). It was then he did this(Warning it's not nice).


    I just read that link, not nice at all :eek:.

    Hope you're better now.


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    #25
    LadyJ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭LadyJ


    Kazobel wrote: »
    I was dating a guy for nearly 3 years, it started great but after a while he changed jobs and start hanging around with new people an got into hash and acid and stuff. I stayed with him for a while (stupidly hoping I could get the old person back, I was 21 and naive :rolleyes: ) but one day he pinned me against a wall and tried to choke me so I booted him out. I felt such relief, it was like a weight was lifted. About a week later he turned up at the door p*ssed and wouldn't stop ringing my door bell and my neighbours until I let him in, I told him he could sleep on the couch but I wanted him out the next morning. I went to bed and couldn't sleep and heard him moving around but assumed he was using the toilet (you had to pass my bed to get to it). It was then he did this(Warning it's not nice).

    After reading this my only response to the OP is that I really can't complain!


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    #26
    Star Lord
    Registered Users Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    Kazobel that guy deserves to be hung by the bollox till he dies from the blood rushing to his head...

    Scumbags like that never get what they truely deserve though. :(


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    #27
    Kazobel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    maple wrote: »
    oh Kaz, i've said it before and i'll say it again, that post just horrifies me. He's lower than a snakes belly. Utter utter w*nker. Well done you for being strong enough to come back from that.

    Thanks hon but it's OK now, I told you before it was a long time ago (14 years) and I've changed alot since then ;)
    Cathooo wrote: »
    Oh Kazobel that's horrific! I hope he's gotten all he deserves :mad: god love you for ever having to go through that!

    Unfortunatly not, 3 weeks community service for assualt :mad:


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    #28
    paulusdu
    Registered Users Posts: 514 ✭✭✭paulusdu


    Any bloke who hits a woman is scum, any bloke who threatens a woman is scum (the same goes for a woman who does that to a man, maybe scumette ??). They deserve marching orders straight away.

    i read that link and felt sick, i can hardly bear to raise my voice in a row with my girlfriend. It sickens me to think that a guy could do that to anyone.

    Ex's are ex's for a reason, its hard to delete numbers and email address's but it needs to be done. Unfortunatly some people can;t do that . . . . .


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    #29
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    God that's horrible. Ouch for you. Sorry bout that.

    In another train of thought
    He is messing with your head, but then he did it to mess with your head. He did it to see if he would get a reaction out of you (he clearly did).

    Now I don't mean to imply that he is being nasty, or trying to upset you.

    He is trying to impress you.

    Guys have this funny thing where even after we are broken up, even after we are moved on and are with someone else, we still like to think that all the people we used to go out with are hung up about us. Its a confidence thing.

    We like to think that even if someone is with someone else that someone else, who ever they are, are not as good as we were. We like to think that we are the "best boyfriend you ever had" and we also like to think that you think this about us.

    Its one of the reasons why guys get so upset not when they find out a ex is seeing someone else, but when we find out that an ex is sleeping with that someone else. We dread the idea that the new boyfriend is better in bed than us, as we lose this sense that at the very least gave you something no other man could (note this has nothing to do with reality. You might have slept with tons of guys better than us before you even met us. But we convince ourselves that isn't true to start with, and then like to hold on to the idea that no one after us will be any good either).

    The reason he drove all the way with the card is to (subconsciously) impress you, because he wanted the reaction of you being impressed and thinking "wow, he is great, look what he did"

    is complete and utter horse trollip. If he wanted to impress you he'd have signed it. He wanted ATTENTION. No better way to do that than some grand gesture. I would figure that long drive knocked a bit of sense into his head and he said "feck that" and instead of knocking as was his original intention he dropped it through the letter box and fecked off.


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    #30
    DubLegs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 277 ✭✭DubLegs


    Unfortunatly not, 3 weeks community service for assualt :mad:[/quote]


    THATS ALL!! my god that is madness!


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    #31
    Cathmandooo
    Registered Users Posts: 17,324 ✭✭✭✭Cathmandooo


    Kazobel wrote: »

    Unfortunatly not, 3 weeks community service for assualt :mad:

    Oh you're kidding! Argh sometimes this country is such a joke! Sorry for dragging up the memories on you, my rant is so not a real issue!! :o


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