Now Ye're Talking - to a recovered drug user

#1 · 13-02-2017 4:01pm #1

Our next AMA volunteer is a recovered intravenous drug user. He continued to work and maintain his job during a time when he was addicted to both heroin and cocaine.
With the announcement recently of a new intravenous room in Dublin city, drug use and addiction is currently a widely discussed topic in the media.

Our volunteer is clean for a number of years and would like to answer any questions you have about his experiences.

marienbad · 13-02-2017 4:07pm

I am an alcoholic myself and sober many years so I can kind of identify is a small way perhaps .

Congratulations on getting your life back on track.

Neon_Lights · 13-02-2017 4:09pm

It may sound obvious or a bit blunt, but I've always struggled to fathom why a person would start in the first place?

buck65 · 13-02-2017 4:11pm

Can you describe the high from heroin, is it totally doped and makes you useless or can you function to some degree?

recyclops · 13-02-2017 4:11pm

Congratulations on getting clean and getting back on track

It seems whilst you were addicted to drugs you tried to maintain a regular enough life, what would your opinion be of users who seem to be a burden on society through either anti social behavior or theft, do you think these people are selfish or they can be helped and hopefully get over their own addiction?

tara83 · 13-02-2017 4:12pm

Congratulations on your recovery, that can't have been easy.

The opening post mentions you continued to work throughout this time. Was it suspected at work, did you have performance issues etc?

Also in your experience are there a lot of similar functioning heroin addicts? In most people's mind including my own a heroin user is associated with what we see on the streets

Thanks for taking the time to do an AMA

Harambe · 13-02-2017 4:12pm

Was your work directly affected by your habit? And did your colleagues know about it?

Kimbot · 13-02-2017 4:12pm

What was your drug timeline? And what drugs were the worst for you and why?

i.e. you started smoking hash at 15, moved to x when you were 16 etc.

dar100 · 13-02-2017 4:12pm

I look forward to hearing this persons opinions!!

Robxxx7 · 13-02-2017 4:13pm

Do you think you have an addictive personality ? do you think you would have been addicted to something regardless of whether it was drugs etc ?
Well done on kicking the habit ...

denis160 · 13-02-2017 4:16pm

Do you still maintain the same circle of friends that you did when you were using?
Did your family know about it?
Were you in a relationship, if so was your partner a user?
What age did you start using at?
Were they your first drug of choice?
Do you find it hard to stay sober when you get stressed or over whelmed?

dulpit · 13-02-2017 4:17pm

How did you manage to work while addicted? Did you use while working, or only afterwards?

Congrats on being clean by the way!

Samuel T. Cogley · 13-02-2017 5:03pm

Do you think blanket legalisation/decriminalisation would help or hinder? Do you think it would have been a factor in you getting involved in the first place and how about getting clean?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA · 13-02-2017 5:06pm

Neon_Lights wrote: »

It may sound obvious or a bit blunt, but I've always struggled to fathom why a person would start in the first place?

Hi, It just sort of happened over a number of years, some call it progression.

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA · 13-02-2017 5:10pm

buck65 wrote: »

Can you describe the high from heroin, is it totally doped and makes you useless or can you function to some degree?

Yea it is great, everything you hear about, doesn't last long though, it is very possible to function, I did for many years, after a while though for me the feeling of heaven left, and it turned very mundane.

P.S Thank you Niamh for organising this

wrote:

Do you think blanket legalisation/decriminalisation would help or hinder? Do you think it would have been a factor in you getting involved in the first place and how about getting clean? ?

I think a blanket legislation/ decriminalisation is the only answer to helping the situation. It is never going to go away, and all the punishments in the world will not stop someone using if they do not want to. I got clean because I was broken by it, I could of carried on...

miezekatze · 13-02-2017 5:12pm

What made you decide to stop taking drugs at the time?

Gardabot1 · 13-02-2017 5:22pm

Did you have any sort of drugs education before you started using any drug?

What sort of timeframe did you shift from drug user to drug abuser?

Have you any body deformities from drug use?
Any regrets re your-drug addiction?

If you could go back in time would you change your path in life or has it made you who you are?

Thanks in advance.

KenjiOdo · 13-02-2017 5:32pm

Any hairy moments which you found yourself in?? Threatened for debts? Some **** hole area in dead of night needing a fix?

Did your family know of your addiction (after how long) / were they supportive? What was your family background like?

TIA

KenjiOdo · 13-02-2017 5:36pm

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA wrote: »

I got clean because I was broken by it, I could of carried on...

Care to delve a little deeper?

tayto lover · 13-02-2017 5:38pm

What drug did you start on and at what age?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA · 13-02-2017 5:40pm

recyclops wrote: »

Congratulations on getting clean and getting back on track

It seems whilst you were addicted to drugs you tried to maintain a regular enough life, what would your opinion be of users who seem to be a burden on society through either anti social behavior or theft, do you think these people are selfish or they can be helped and hopefully get over their own addiction?

Thanks a million for your well wishes. Yes I did maintain a very regular life, mortgage, car, great job, etc. those people of which you talk about, yes they may be a burden on society, but so can anyone I guess, there is lots of theft in society not all are drug addicts. I know I was very selfish as an addict, and any addict can be helped in my opinion.

How did you manage to work while addicted? Did you use while working, or only afterwards?

Congrats on being clean by the way!?

Thank you, when in the height of it, yes I used in the car in the morning, I used in work, took spoons from the canteen. Went to the needle exchange on my lunch break in my shirt and tie. I kept it all under wraps. no pun intended. How I managed to work, was drive I suppose, carry on regardless and lots of manipulation.

Do you still maintain the same circle of friends that you did when you were using?
Did your family know about it?
Were you in a relationship, if so was your partner a user?
What age did you start using at?
Were they your first drug of choice?
Do you find it hard to stay sober when you get stressed or over whelmed? !?

Okay bare with me, I do not maintain the same circle of friends, I did not know anyone who took heroin really, only my dealers, my friends all drank and most took coke at the weekends, smoked weed etc, I needed to stay away, which was not easy but had to be done, if I wanted recovery.

My family did know about it, I came clean towards the end, when I needed to go to treatment etc, that did not fix me mind you.

I would rather not comment on relationships.

Started smoking hash at 12 that was my first drug of choice, towards the end I was not fussy I would stick anything in a needle, crack, tablets, whatever would stop the head.

Sometimes I find it hard like anyone, I now have young kids and all the trials and tribulations that go with life in general, do I think of smack ? Yes sometimes, do I act on it ? No. Can I go out for a drink ? NOOOOOO

Do you think you have an addictive personality ? do you think you would have been addicted to something regardless of whether it was drugs etc ?
Well done on kicking the habit ...

Yes I do have an addictive personality that needs daily vigilance. I haven't used drugs in years, but can get addicted to other things, chocolate, clothes, spending money, I don't gamble mind you, as that was something I did back in the day...

What was your drug timeline? And what drugs were the worst for you and why?

i.e. you started smoking hash at 15, moved to x when you were 16 etc.

I used all the drugs so I am not going to give you a time line out of respect for my loved ones, I am trying to stay anonymous. The worst was weed/hash it mentally scarred me, granted I started young. Yes, I contracted Hepatitis C from using needles but that is manageable, the mental not so....

Was your work directly affected by your habit? And did your colleagues know about it?

It had to have been towards the end, I was functioning for a long time, but got quite bad towards the end, I began to go missing for a few days. Colleagues did not know, I was pretty good at it...

Congratulations on your recovery, that can't have been easy.

The opening post mentions you continued to work throughout this time. Was it suspected at work, did you have performance issues etc?

Also in your experience are there a lot of similar functioning heroin addicts? In most people's mind including my own a heroin user is associated with what we see on the streets

Thanks for taking the time to do an AMA

Thanks, it wasn't easy at the start, I had lots of relapses, recovery is something you have to give your all, 100%, no shortcuts, but I finally got there. People look at you funny when you say you don't drink, ah go on have one. I can not drink without taking cocaine, that is the difference. I tried to fit in, like Joe Soap down the road who goes out to watch Liverpool play, I realised I am not like Joe Soap down the road.

Yes I had performance issues, it is hard to stay focused in a business meeting when you know your dealer is outside, or you know you cannot get to work until you take care of this withdrawal, that leads to lots of late mornings, and "auntie's dying"

Yes, there are lots of functioning heroin addicts, business men, doctors, granted I didn't know them when I was using, but rub shoulders with them now in recovery circles.

That's it for now folks, I have some dinner on and some guests coming, thank you so much for the questions, and of course all these replies are my opinion only, I am happy to answer more.

Fox Hound · 13-02-2017 6:21pm

How would someone help an addict,

for example I have a friend who is an alcoholic, and takes a lot of drugs, he has been in rehab a lot, but still ends up back on the same path of addiction...I am not as close to this person anymore, as my life has moved in a different direction,,, I never used drugs and don't like being around them, so I made a decision to distance myself from him as All my efforts of help have failed...Even tho We are not as close, I Know if I met this guy in the local pub we would chat away and still have a close connection from everything we had been through in the past...so in essence what I am saying is, when you where recovering is there anything a close friend could have said or done to help you get where you are now?...or does the addict have to find there own way out?

sweetie · 13-02-2017 6:28pm

Congrats on your recovery and thanks for your contribution here.
Are you completely anti drugs now or can some be used by some people in moderation in your opinion?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA · 13-02-2017 6:38pm

Fox Hound wrote: »

How would someone help an addict,

for example I have a friend who is an alcoholic, and takes a lot of drugs, he has been in rehab a lot, but still ends up back on the same path of addiction...I am not as close to this person anymore, as my life has moved in a different direction,,, I never used drugs and don't like being around them, so I made a decision to distance myself from him as All my efforts of help have failed...Even tho We are not as close, I Know if I met this guy in the local pub we would chat away and still have a close connection from everything we had been through in the past...so in essence what I am saying is, when you where recovering is there anything a close friend could have said or done to help you get where you are now?...or does the addict have to find there own way out?

In my experience, it fell on deaf ears. I tried everything to get clean, rehab, councillors, I got arrested outside my job, because someone saw me puncturing myself with a needle in my car. Did any of that make me get clean ? No. Yes it put the ****s up me, and I made lots of promises to the gardai , family etc.

But I only got clean, when I wanted to, not because of what the Guard said or the loved ones, in fact regardless of what anyone said to me, or what any outcome was to be. It only happened when I was ready. I know that sounds funny but that is my experience. I knew inside that my time was up.

dartboardio · 13-02-2017 6:43pm

Fair play to you for coming out of that vicious circle... I'm only eighteen and know the routine of starting smoking joints at the age of 12/13, smoking everyday, moving onto cocaine, pills, I have quite an addictive personality and used to be off taking the pills twice a week, robbing money from family members etc, so I had to put a stop to it and thank god I'm out of that now, aswell as going to work 'off my head' on prescription medicine that wasn't even prescribed for me - cause I felt like I needed it in order to be able to chat to people

I feel like the odd one out when I say I have a horrible opinion of cannabis, weed, hash, nowadays everyone is for it and shares all this 'legalise the weed' crap, thinking it's great for medicinal purposes, if I could have it banned I would, it's nothing but something that makes you stupid, and blurs your vision and mind.. If I never started smoking weed I wouldn't have tried other drugs, I wouldn't be paranoid, I wouldn't have anxiety about silly things like making friends or chatting to my boss.

It could of got alot worse for me but thankfully didn't I just have to keep the reigns on everything I do, I'd constantly go to
'parties' and owed money that wasn't even mine, failed my leaving cert, thank god I'm back on track now, went back to do my exams and getting on great in my first year of college, I feel like I appreciate it so much more and want to do my work cause I fought somewhat to be here.

I know this thread is for your story but I just got a little carried away.

Were your family supporting you while you were a heroin user? Were you on their side at the time or the opposite, like going missing at family occassions, generally acting odd..?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA · 13-02-2017 6:46pm

KenjiOdo wrote: »

Any hairy moments which you found yourself in?? Threatened for debts? Some **** hole area in dead of night needing a fix?

Did your family know of your addiction (after how long) / were they supportive? What was your family background like?

TIA

Okay, I am from an affluent part of Dublin, well educated, no trouble, a loving family, never wanted for anything, I have never signed on the dole in my life. But did have low self esteem as a kid I guess.

Yes I found myself in lots of dodgy places. I suppose the most telling was outside Oliver bond flats at 4 in the morning, looking for a needle, again in my shirt and tie.

My dealer wouldn't give me his spare needle he kept saying the exchange opens at 8 am. I told him I was going to be clean by 8 am, usual story. Anyway he parted with his spare needle when I offered him money. It was used I didn't care at the time. I caught Hep C. I think that is why Injecting Rooms are so important. Am I guilty of disposing of needles whilst running back to work ? YES. Did I run into starbucks and order a cappuccino while I run into the jacks to cook up a fix ? YES,

Lots of stories like that, crack houses getting raided while I am on my lunch break.. Having to ring work to say I got "Caught Up"

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA · 13-02-2017 6:50pm

sweetie wrote: »

Congrats on your recovery and thanks for your contribution here.
Are you completely anti drugs now or can some be used by some people in moderation in your opinion?

Thank you, I am not anti drugs by any stretch of the imagination. In fact I know lots of people who use drugs, and that is their business. I know I cannot, and I am perfectly happy with that now. It took a while to accept that. A long while in fact. I grew up with people who were able to knock it on the head.

What happens if someone dies, surely I can have a drink at the funeral ? No.

dartboardio · 13-02-2017 6:51pm

Was your self esteem quite low when you'd go to work and know your secret? Is your family now suspicious of you as a liar- drug user or are they delighted your back on track and fully trust in you to never go down that road again?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA · 13-02-2017 7:03pm

Gardabot1 wrote: »

Did you have any sort of drugs education before you started using any drug?

What sort of timeframe did you shift from drug user to drug abuser?

Have you any body deformities from drug use?
Any regrets re your-drug addiction?

If you could go back in time would you change your path in life or has it made you who you are?

Thanks in advance.

I had loads of drug education. But I suppose owing to my upbringing I didn't actually think that I would end up the way I did.

Cocaine destroyed me, I could not stop snorting it, I needed something to keep me in, and I tried heroin. That kept me in. I have absolutely no regrets. I am so glad I am here to tell the tale, and help anyone I can.

I have no deformities, I am your average person, maybe a bit better looking.

No one in my life knows my old life, except close family and some friends, I train the kids GAA, I take part in life, always remaining vigilant..

Gardabot1 · 13-02-2017 7:19pm

How was your relationship with Gardai at the height of your addictions?

Did you get treatment before, in or after prison?

What was the most you've spent on drugs in a day?

Did you inject in place unimaginable?

jimmycrackcorm · 13-02-2017 7:23pm

How much were you spending every week on your habit?

Now Ye're Talking - to a recovered drug user

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