Your finest retort

Ok everyone hit me with it. I want a full blown story with these ones and I don't care how late it is. Commit to the thread. I want to know what was the best back answer you had to someone. Whether it was someone trying to start a fight or whatever and you shut them up with something extremely epic! I'm talking about the kinda sentence that makes you turn around, hold up your chin, strut it away while walking and then not being able to help smile and say to yourself "Yehhhhh motherf****Er"

Mine was when I was in secondary school in Biology. One of the "popular" ppl decided to make nasty references to my gorgeous highlighted blonde locks (naturally highlighted from the sun while I was in Spain) he was jealous because mine looked more awesome than his :cool:

I got fed, I booted my stool down the classroom, walked up to his desk and slammed my hands down (in full view of the class) and said "Yano somethin, I can't stand you, half the people in here laugh at your stupidity and not because you're funny, they're laughing AT you and not WITH you. Wanna know what you are? You know when you've gone out for dinner and had a nice juicy steak or that delicious chicken and ham? Yeh? Well, you're that annoying bastard of a piece of meat that gets stuck between your teeth and does your head in for the rest of the fúcking day trying to get it out when you haven't got a toothpick! Now, you keep pissing me off and I swear I'll get a toothpick, so stop annoying me! Are we clear?"

I then picked my stool up and sat down in awe of the teacher and a completely silent open-mouthed classroom, I was last leaving the class and she simply winked and smiled and said "don't let rubbish like that get to you"

Your turn peeps