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15-09-2014, 06:03   #6661
fr336
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When God created Scotland, He looked down on it with great satisfaction and called the Archangel Gabriel to have a look.
'Just see," said God. "This is the best yet. Splendid mountains, beautiful scenery, brave men, fine women, nice cool weather. And I've given them beautiful music and a special drink called whisky. Try some."
Gabriel took an appreciative sip. "Excellent," he said. "But haven't you perhaps been too kind to them? Won't they be spoiled by all these things? Should there not be some drawback?"
'Just wait till you see the neighbours they're getting," said God.
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20-09-2014, 12:03   #6662
Buona Fortuna
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Why are men smarter during sex?

Spoiler: Because they're usually plugged in to a fcukin know-it-all
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20-09-2014, 17:28   #6663
rolliepoley
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Location: Here there everywhere
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A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"

He hadn't - and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a
towel and our big Radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find
out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up &down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesperson."
"Batteries?" cried the wife.
"Yes ....." he replied -
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"She sells C cells by the sea shore!"




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20-09-2014, 21:25   #6664
Busted Flat.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rolliepoley View Post
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"

He hadn't - and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a
towel and our big Radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find
out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up &down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesperson."
"Batteries?" cried the wife.
"Yes ....." he replied -
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"She sells C cells by the sea shore!"




Oh jaysus, that beats them all.
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20-09-2014, 21:58   #6665
chughes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rolliepoley View Post
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"

He hadn't - and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a
towel and our big Radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find
out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up &down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesperson."
"Batteries?" cried the wife.
"Yes ....." he replied -
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"She sells C cells by the sea shore!"




I hope she doesn't drop them in the ocean, that would be a salt in battery.
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