The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

13-09-2014 11:46am

The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing "father's details;"

or putting it another way.... Who's the Daddy?

These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to checkout #10. It takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins,
Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am
unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but
I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my
child as I was being sick out of a window when taken
unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list
of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little
girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue
where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do
remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you
do manage to track down the father, can you please send me
his phone number? Thanks .

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my
daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my
stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW
service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced .

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a
Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate
and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he
informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that
would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn
between doing right by you and right by the country . Please advise...

7.Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do
catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my
AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time....
well, I don't have clue.

8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was
conceived at Euro-Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing
that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a programme
about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and
watched more TV rather than going to the party at 56
Miller St, mine might have remained unfertilized .

10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my
baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you
can't be sure which one made you fart.

EunanMac · 13-09-2014 12:02pm

What do you call two gay Irishmen ?

Patrick Fitzgerald and . . . .

Gerald Fitzpatrick

myshirt · 14-09-2014 11:05pm

Just began tapping a girl called Peg.

I met her online.

fr336 · 15-09-2014 6:03am

When God created Scotland, He looked down on it with great satisfaction and called the Archangel Gabriel to have a look.
'Just see," said God. "This is the best yet. Splendid mountains, beautiful scenery, brave men, fine women, nice cool weather. And I've given them beautiful music and a special drink called whisky. Try some."
Gabriel took an appreciative sip. "Excellent," he said. "But haven't you perhaps been too kind to them? Won't they be spoiled by all these things? Should there not be some drawback?"
'Just wait till you see the neighbours they're getting," said God.

Buona Fortuna · 20-09-2014 12:03pm

Why are men smarter during sex?

Because they're usually plugged in to a fcukin know-it-all

rolliepoley · 20-09-2014 5:28pm

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"

He hadn't - and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a
towel and our big Radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find
out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up &down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesperson."
"Batteries?" cried the wife.
"Yes ....." he replied -
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"She sells C cells by the sea shore!"

Busted Flat. · 20-09-2014 9:25pm

rolliepoley wrote: »

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"

He hadn't - and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a
towel and our big Radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find
out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up &down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesperson."
"Batteries?" cried the wife.
"Yes ....." he replied -
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"She sells C cells by the sea shore!"

Oh jaysus, that beats them all.

chughes · 20-09-2014 9:58pm

rolliepoley wrote: »

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"

He hadn't - and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a
towel and our big Radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find
out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up &down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesperson."
"Batteries?" cried the wife.
"Yes ....." he replied -
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"She sells C cells by the sea shore!"

I hope she doesn't drop them in the ocean, that would be a salt in battery.

wesleysniper38 · 25-09-2014 11:23pm

chughes wrote: »

I hope she doesn't drop them in the ocean, that would be a salt in battery.

She was later arrested by an over eager policeman for casual trading. When she was brought in the Custody Sergeant said-

Put her in a dry cell and we'll charge her later!

wesleysniper38 · 25-09-2014 11:25pm

Shte it was a trap. You bastards all waited for me to make post no.6666....

AARGHHHHHH....................:eek:

26-09-2014 7:41am

wesleysniper38 wrote: »

Shte it was a trap. You bastards all waited for me to make post no.6666....

AARGHHHHHH....................:eek:

and it was one hell of a posting. :P

chughes · 26-09-2014 9:08am

wesleysniper38 wrote: »

Shte it was a trap. You bastards all waited for me to make post no.6666....

AARGHHHHHH....................:eek:

The number of the inflated beast........

Capt'n Midnight · 27-09-2014 9:45pm

I put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom.

You know, to make it more classy.

padma · 27-09-2014 10:06pm

Came to a divorce settlement last week on the house. We went 50/50, she got the inside and I got the outside.

Capt'n Midnight · 27-09-2014 10:22pm

Zsa Zsa Gabor is a great housekeeper. Been divorced seven times and she's always kept the house.

wesleysniper38 · 27-09-2014 10:34pm

My Psychiatrist put half a glass of water in front of me and asked me if I was an optimist or a pessimist....

So I drank the water and told him I was a problem solver.

27-09-2014 10:44pm

wesleysniper38 wrote: »

My Psychiatrist put half a glass of water in front of me and asked me if I was an optimist or a pessimist....

So I drank the water and told him I was a problem solver.

An engineer went to the same psychiatrist, the psychiatrist was not impressed with the answer! :pac:

rolliepoley · 28-09-2014 8:22pm

Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women. They are mixing the Clio and the Taurus, and calling it the "Clitaurus." It comes in pink, with or without fur on the dash, and the average male thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.

Bigus · 29-09-2014 6:38pm

rolliepoley wrote: »

Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women. They are mixing the Clio and the Taurus, and calling it the "Clitaurus." It comes in pink, with or without fur on the dash, and the average male thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.

Let's hope ford don't team up with (Volkswagen Audi Group) and come up a cross of VAG and cortINA, Afterall the Taurus was a rebadged Cortina.

jeanrose770 · 29-09-2014 7:09pm

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
* Nacho Cheese!!!

30-09-2014 9:24pm

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.

So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device......... a vibrator!
Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic...............as you would!!
“You impotent bastard” She screamed at him, “how could you be lying to me all of these years....? You better explain yourself!”

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

“Yes - you got me on that one. Here’s the deal, I'll explain the toy............

after you explain the kids”.

wesleysniper38 · 30-09-2014 9:50pm

Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween....

probably because they don't appreciate random persons coming up to their doors.

wesleysniper38 · 30-09-2014 11:22pm

I have CDO

it's like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order...AS THEY SHOULD BE!

jimgoose · 30-09-2014 11:26pm

wesleysniper38 wrote: »

Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween....

probably because they don't appreciate random persons coming up to their doors.

I'm a Hell's Jehova. I knock at your door and tell you to fcuk off.

wesleysniper38 · 30-09-2014 11:41pm

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to change the bulb and turn it on, the other two to knock on your door and ask if you've seen the light...

wesleysniper38 · 30-09-2014 11:48pm

wesleysniper38 wrote: »

I have CDO

it's like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order...AS THEY SHOULD BE!

Just before I take to the bed....

The first rule of the OCD club is that we must have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.

IsaacWunder · 01-10-2014 1:12am

My buddy, Gavin, is having a bad bad week: His Thai wife is after dying of prostate cancer.

civis_liberalis · 01-10-2014 2:32am

jimgoose wrote: »

I'm a Hell's Jehova. I knock at your door and tell you to fcuk off.

Are you from Soviet Russia?

Michael D Not Higgins · 01-10-2014 8:40am

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, one to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis... mother... I mean ladder.

rolliepoley · 02-10-2014 9:06pm

At the end of the tax year, the Tax office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the Tax Auditor was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages.

What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"

"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.

"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.

"We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO.

"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the Tax Office,

and about once a year they send us a complete dick

rolliepoley · 02-10-2014 9:52pm

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"

Savage Tyrant · 03-10-2014 6:21pm

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta way.

05-10-2014 10:13pm

Voted the best Australian Joke...
Two Aussies, Ferret & Knackers, were adrift in a life boat.
While rummaging through the boat's provisions
Ferret stumble across an old lamp.

He rubbed it vigorously, sure enough out popped a genie!
This genie, however was a little different.
He stated he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought, Ferret blurted out,

"Turn the entire ocean into beer..... Make that Victoria Bitter!"

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the sea turned into that hard-earned thirst quencher.
The genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness
as the two men considered their circumstances
Knackers looked disgustedly at Ferret whose wish it was that had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment Knackers said, "Nice going Dickhead!

Now we're going to have to piss in the boat."

05-10-2014 10:13pm

Voted the best Australian Joke...
Two Aussies, Ferret & Knackers, were adrift in a life boat.
While rummaging through the boat's provisions
Ferret stumble across an old lamp.

He rubbed it vigorously, sure enough out popped a genie!
This genie, however was a little different.
He stated he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought, Ferret blurted out,

"Turn the entire ocean into beer..... Make that Victoria Bitter!"

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the sea turned into that hard-earned thirst quencher.
The genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness
as the two men considered their circumstances
Knackers looked disgustedly at Ferret whose wish it was that had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment Knackers said, "Nice going Dickhead!

Now we're going to have to piss in the boat."

rolliepoley · 06-10-2014 6:52pm

An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall. He called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind before he died. I am going out of town on business for a week, and when I return, I expect it to be completed."

Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the new mural. To his surprise, what he found was a painting of a cow with a halo, surrounded by hundreds of Indians in various stages and positions of making love.

Furious, he called the artist in.

"What the hell is this?" screamed the billionaire.

"Why, that's exactly what you asked for." said the artist smugly.

"No. I didn't ask for pornographic filth! What I asked for was your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind!"

"And there you have it," said the artist. "I call it 'Holy Cow! Look at all those fcuking Indians!'"

:pac:

06-10-2014 7:24pm

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class fondle him. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year. You want to stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
****

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour and started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything – Kit-Kats, Mars bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.
COLOR=#1F497D] ****[/COLOR]

Prince William said he didn't want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding. Prince Phillip said he didn't give a toss, he was still going.
****

Just £3 will buy water and food for a family in Africa. But don't let your heart rule your head. Tesco’s are doing 4 Stella for £2-99.
****

100 people from Liverpool were asked today if they thought Britain should change its currency. 98% said no, they were happy with the Giro.
****

Now he's dead, they're making a film of Eddie Stobart's life. I've just seen the trailer.
****

I thought the wife would be the ideal candidate for a new TV show. Turns out I got it all wrong. The programme's called Fact Hunt.
****

The cost of living has now got so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries!
****

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
****

Some swine's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 pegs back.

Some Japanese tourists just asked me to take a picture of them. When I said "Wave" they legged it.

wesleysniper38 · 11-10-2014 12:22am

Seeing as its Friday and things are gone quiet here..

"Work" def: where I bitterly contemplate all the useful things I could be
doing at home.

"Home" def: where I watch TV and spend my time on the internet.

11-10-2014 12:47am

^^ Just goes to prove that home (life) only comes before work in a dictionary!

11-10-2014 12:50am

WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE!

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day; to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple minutes of your time. I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners...

'Go away!' said the old lady. ''I'm broke and haven't got any money!'' and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open...
''Don't be too hasty!'' he said. ''Not until you have at least seen my demonstration..''

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

''Now; if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.''

The old lady stepped back and said, ''Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning."

rolliepoley · 11-10-2014 12:32pm

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday recently.

Never again.

rolliepoley · 11-10-2014 2:34pm

Liverpool Football Club's foreign scout flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to the UK.

Brendan Rodgers signs him to a one year contract and the kid joins the team for the preseason.

Two weeks later Liverpool are down 2-0 to Man Utd with only 10 minutes left. Rodgers gives the young Iraqi the nod and he goes in. The boy is a sensation - scores 3 goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted, and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mom to tell her about his first match. "Hello mom, guess what - I played for 10 minutes today, we were 2-0 down, but I scored 3 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."

"Wonderful," says his mom, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time."

The young Iraqi is very upset. "What can I say mom, but I'm so sorry."

"Sorry? You're sorry? !!" says his mom, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"

wesleysniper38 · 11-10-2014 10:14pm

Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "Suspicious car".

Apparently it had tax and insurance and the radio was still in it.

A young lad asks his mum where his new Liverpool top is.

"I washed it and it's drying on the line."

The young lad rushes to the window to see his beloved Liverpool top lying in the mud.

"Mum, why is my Liverpool top in the mud?"

His mum looks out of the window and shouts, "The thieving gits have nicked the pegs again!"

wesleysniper38 · 11-10-2014 10:14pm

Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "Suspicious car".

Apparently it had tax and insurance and the radio was still in it.

A young lad asks his mum where his new Liverpool top is.

"I washed it and it's drying on the line."

The young lad rushes to the window to see his beloved Liverpool top lying in the mud.

"Mum, why is my Liverpool top in the mud?"

His mum looks out of the window and shouts, "The thieving gits have nicked the pegs again!"

branie2 · 11-10-2014 10:15pm

A red bull walks into a bar

The barman says, "we have a drink named after you"

TiGeR KiNgS · 11-10-2014 10:25pm

Has anyone else noticed that "Maddie" is an anagram of "I'm dead"?

wesleysniper38 · 11-10-2014 11:39pm

I got a free computer today from Harvey Norman...

"My wife's got a virus and wants a new computer. "I said,

"Just buy virus software, " the assistant replied.

"Why? Will it help with Ebola? " I said. Anyway, after the place had emptied I just helped myself.

12-10-2014 11:02am

Husband's call:
"Honey it's me. I don't want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital.
They have checked me over and done some tests and some x-rays.
The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious internal injury. However I have three broken ribs, I have a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they may have to amputate my right foot."

Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"

Curly Judge · 14-10-2014 9:55am

The Irish Medical Association has weighed in on the government's new health care proposals.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The ENT specialists didn't swallow it, and just wouldn't hear of it.

The Pharmacologists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, but the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won, thus leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in Leinster House.....

__________________

Curly Judge · 14-10-2014 9:55am

The Irish Medical Association has weighed in on the government's new health care proposals.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The ENT specialists didn't swallow it, and just wouldn't hear of it.

The Pharmacologists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, but the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won, thus leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in Leinster House.....

__________________

Curly Judge · 14-10-2014 7:24pm

My wife and I decided to take an organised trip to Afghanistan to see for ourselves what the place was like.
It didn't start well when the train we were travelling on broke down a few miles North of the capital.
We were stranded in a third world hell hole!
Streets full of angry bearded types glaring at us, the wife stood out in her brightly coloured Sundress, as all other women were head to toe in black burqas.
We were extremely scared and convinced that we were in deep trouble.
Just then, Dave the organiser suddenly remembered that Finsbury Park had a tube station, so we were able to get safely to King’s Cross and then on to Heathrow for the rest of our journey to Afghanistan

The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

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