The Fathers Thread

January · 06-07-2014 9:24am

If you're in a delivery room then partner can stay but if you're on a ward and not in established labour partners are sent home.

Chattastrophe! · 06-07-2014 9:44am

Did you think that her partner and both grandmothers would be present during the labour and birth?

If so, it's a pity no one made it clear to you during the pregnancy that this is not the norm in Ireland, it's something you'd need to have organised in advance.

What hospital are you attending? Had you discussed your plans with them?

Whispered · 06-07-2014 10:22am

Best of luck today then

January, if you are having contractions aren't you in labour?

(Utterly clueless here!)

January · 06-07-2014 10:24am

Whispered wrote: »

Best of luck today then

January, if you are having contractions aren't you in labour?

(Utterly clueless here!)

You may well be but until you reach 3cms dilated you're not in 'established' labour and will be kept on a ward with other ladies who are labouring and then moved when you reach 3cms or start needing intervention such as oxytocin.

Whispered · 06-07-2014 11:04am

January wrote: »

You may well be but until you reach 3cms dilated you're not in 'established' labour and will be kept on a ward with other ladies who are labouring and then moved when you reach 3cms or start needing intervention such as oxytocin.

Ah ok. Thanks. I've a lot of research to do!

youcancallmeal · 06-07-2014 12:35pm

AstraMonti wrote: »

We re still here, the baby takes it's time to get out, soon though. Midwives and doctors were excellent with me staying there, it was that annoying security that insisted to get out, even threatened again to kick the gramdmas who were staying on the ground floor out, really poor, obnoxious and and insulting behaviour. Anyway, all is good as docs/midwives stepped up and helped.

Heard these stories before, one of the main reasons we went for Holles St even though the Coombe is closer to us. My wife was having the worst contractions in the pre labour ward between 11pm and 4am, probably would of lost the head if somebody was telling me I had to leave

kronsich · 06-07-2014 7:39pm

Heya Lads

my wife had a little girl on Saturday morning. Still in Holles street and coming home tomorrow.

I have gotten married, got degrees, bought a house and travelled the world. Can honestly say that labour and birth is the most amazing experience of my life. It was exhausting and completely overwhelming. My wife was fantastic!

The wards are fine and the midwives are brilliant. They really dont mind husbands being around.

My big tip: sign up for parking tag!

kronsich · 06-07-2014 7:40pm

One more thing. Stay at home as long as possible! The pre labour ward is hell on earth!

Marty McFly · 06-07-2014 7:45pm

In fairness to the coombe we have been warned numerous times not to come in to early wait until there is at least three contractions per 10 minutes otherwise be pacing the corridors.

On the grandparents Im sure it sucked and was a pain but I know none of ours be near the hospital till after the baby is born.

Have to look at it from the hospitals point of view really they can't have hundreds of people wandering around which would be the case of they let everyone who wanted to stay, to stay.

Dr.Winston O'Boogie · 08-07-2014 11:49am

Anyone know what the story is with parking on the day the OH goes into labour? Is there a special rate for those heading to the delivery unit and likely to have their car outside for a day or more?

Dolbert · 08-07-2014 11:59am

niallo24 wrote: »

Anyone know what the story is with parking on the day the OH goes into labour? Is there a special rate for those heading to the delivery unit and likely to have their car outside for a day or more?

Where are you talking about? In the Rotunda it's normal street parking afaik (luckily my work car park is around the corner)

DavyD_83 · 08-07-2014 12:01pm

niallo24 wrote: »

Anyone know what the story is with parking on the day the OH goes into labour? Is there a special rate for those heading to the delivery unit and likely to have their car outside for a day or more?

Not sure whihch hospital you're headed for.
We'll be in Holles St, reliant on n-street parking; and pretty sure there's no allowances made for the fact you're visiting hospital, labour or otherwise.
I'd imagine only possibility of a concession would be if you were dealing with a hospital with their own car park, even then I wouldn't hold your breath

Dr.Winston O'Boogie · 08-07-2014 12:47pm

DavyD_83 wrote: »

Not sure whihch hospital you're headed for.
We'll be in Holles St, reliant on n-street parking; and pretty sure there's no allowances made for the fact you're visiting hospital, labour or otherwise.
I'd imagine only possibility of a concession would be if you were dealing with a hospital with their own car park, even then I wouldn't hold your breath

Sorry didn't realise I didn't mention the hospital! I am in the Coombe. They have their own car park but its pricey enough if you are going to be in for a while.

Marty McFly · 08-07-2014 1:01pm

niallo24 wrote: »

Sorry didn't realise I didn't mention the hospital! I am in the Coombe. They have their own car park but its pricey enough if you are going to be in for a while.

In the Coombe you can get your parking ticket validated and it works out 7.50 a day.

Pawwed Rig · 08-07-2014 3:55pm

DavyD_83 wrote: »

We'll be in Holles St, reliant on n-street parking; and pretty sure there's no allowances made for the fact you're visiting hospital, labour or otherwise

It is all onstreet parking around Holles Street. It is free after 7 and on Sundays though. The Council was very cynical in having charges on Saturdays as the parking is very light on that day and only really affects those around the hospital.

January · 08-07-2014 9:11pm

Dolbert wrote: »

Where are you talking about? In the Rotunda it's normal street parking afaik (luckily my work car park is around the corner)

Rotunda have a deal with the Parnell St carpark (at back of the cinema) where it works out at 6 euro for 24 hours. You have to get it validated by the security desk and show to parking attendant. You can use it when you go to appointments and every day your partner is in hospital.

SuperS54 · 09-07-2014 7:59am

Wife had her 36 week check up yesterday...little lad is doing well, 2.7 Kg and kicking up a storm. Suddenly the end is in sight and rushing towards us a little faster than I would like! Bought nappies for the first time ever at the weekend, who knew there was such a selection...Hospital go bag is fairly much prepared, part of me hopes the next couple of weeks will drag by, part of me hopes they won't! Looking forward to finally seeing the anonymous kicker! Still working on a name...

AstraMonti · 09-07-2014 8:13am

Now that the storm has passed and the little baby girl is out and happy I 've really have to praise Coombe. Apart from that annoying security incident that came at a time my wife was in a great deal of pain the level of detail and honest interest from all the midwives, docs and consultants is something that you have to pay several thousand euros in other countries. They have been amazing since our very first visit to be honest. Their genuine interest of your well being is so important to them that and they pass this through. I 've yet to meet a person who is either not smiling or happy to help with anythng. Everyone is happy to answer your questions and guide you. They even spent almost 1.5hours with my wife showing her how to breastfeed, it was such an amazing thing to watch and the determirnation of the midwife to make it happen was so kind hearted.

January wrote: »

If you're in a delivery room then partner can stay but if you're on a ward and not in established labour partners are sent home.

January wrote: »

You may well be but until you reach 3cms dilated you're not in 'established' labour and will be kept on a ward with other ladies who are labouring and then moved when you reach 3cms or start needing intervention such as oxytocin.

Established labour is really a loose term, my wife starting having massive strong contractions around 10:30 in the night and we went in the delivery room at 4:30, it would be at least inhuman to leave her alone when she could barely walk alone.

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

Did you think that her partner and both grandmothers would be present during the labour and birth?

No, they just wanted to be in the same building, how much noise can two old ladies sitting in an empty waiting area do really?

kronsich wrote: »

Can honestly say that labour and birth is the most amazing experience of my life. It was exhausting and completely overwhelming. My wife was fantastic!

I couldn't agree anymore! An amazing experience.

Marty McFly wrote: »

In fairness to the coombe we have been warned numerous times not to come in to early wait until there is at least three contractions per 10 minutes otherwise be pacing the corridors.

On the grandparents Im sure it sucked and was a pain but I know none of ours be near the hospital till after the baby is born.

Have to look at it from the hospitals point of view really they can't have hundreds of people wandering around which would be the case of they let everyone who wanted to stay, to stay.

The problem is that the water broke at 4:40am in the morning and we had to get to hospital, if the contractions had come before the waters we would have been waiting until the last minute, but not everything can go as planned unfortunately.

Best of luck to all dads to be!

kronsich · 09-07-2014 12:17pm

Parking at Holles St is really expensive and no daily rate. Defo get the app so you can top up from the hospital. Check your health insurance, mine is refunding my parking expenses for the delivery day.

We just finished our second night home with baby, all going well. Make sure you enjoy your sleep before the arrival as it really is full on!

Best of luck lads

January · 09-07-2014 8:46pm

AstraMonti wrote: »

Now that the storm has passed and the little baby girl is out and happy I 've really have to praise Coombe. Apart from that annoying security incident that came at a time my wife was in a great deal of pain the level of detail and honest interest from all the midwives, docs and consultants is something that you have to pay several thousand euros in other countries. They have been amazing since our very first visit to be honest. Their genuine interest of your well being is so important to them that and they pass this through. I 've yet to meet a person who is either not smiling or happy to help with anythng. Everyone is happy to answer your questions and guide you. They even spent almost 1.5hours with my wife showing her how to breastfeed, it was such an amazing thing to watch and the determirnation of the midwife to make it happen was so kind hearted.

Established labour is really a loose term, my wife starting having massive strong contractions around 10:30 in the night and we went in the delivery room at 4:30, it would be at least inhuman to leave her alone when she could barely walk alone.

No, they just wanted to be in the same building, how much noise can two old ladies sitting in an empty waiting area do really?

I couldn't agree anymore! An amazing experience.

The problem is that the water broke at 4:40am in the morning and we had to get to hospital, if the contractions had come before the waters we would have been waiting until the last minute, but not everything can go as planned unfortunately.

Best of luck to all dads to be!

Just two little old ladies, but imagine if everyone brought along two little old ladies to wait around in the waiting room, the place would be packed. Really should have waited until the baby arrived, sure they wouldn't have even been allowed up until she was settled and in visiting hours... Anyways, it's over and done with now, something to think about for next time

Whispered · 09-07-2014 10:45pm

Astramonti, I'm having pretty much the opposite experience with the coombe. I'm so frustrated trying to deal with them I have shed tears. The midwives are great but the way it's being run is awful, whoever is dealing with their physio department is incredibly rude and I've been trying to get my consultant or his secretary on the phone since last Thursday evening.

I'm glad your wife is doing well

congrats.

Dr.Winston O'Boogie · 11-07-2014 9:55am

Any tips for the day of the birth from fathers here? Expectant dad here, 2 weeks to due date! I know about the massages and breathing and that, but more info the better I suppose!

Tasden · 11-07-2014 10:10am

niallo24 wrote: »

Any tips for the day of the birth from fathers here? Expectant dad here, 2 weeks to due date! I know about the massages and breathing and that, but more info the better I suppose!

Imo play it by ear and see how mum is coping and act accordingly. She may not be able to look at you while shes in labour or she may need to hold your hand every step of the way, and she probably wont know which way she'll feel until the time comes. I'd let her tell you what she needs from you and then do as she asks- within reason obviously!

I remember my partner trying to make me eat as I hadn't eaten in twenty or so hours but he wouldn't listen to me when I said I couldn't, obviously he was just concerned and looking out for me but in that moment it felt like he wasn't being supportive or understanding of how I was feeling and it was frustrating.

Having said that you may need to be the voice of reason too so its a judgement call but either way listen to what your partner needs and go from there.

nikpmup · 11-07-2014 10:16am

niallo24 wrote: »

Any tips for the day of the birth from fathers here? Expectant dad here, 2 weeks to due date! I know about the massages and breathing and that, but more info the better I suppose!

Do whatever she tells you to do, immediately and without moaning. Anything she says or does in labour is NEVER admissible during an argument; and will remain in the sanctity of the delivery room. :P

On a serious note, make sure you get something to eat early on in proceedings; you may not get the chance later. If you're parking your car, leave a mahoosive bag of coins in the glove compartment for the meter, or sign up for the parking by text thing. Make sure you know where her bags are, and the difference between the labour bag and the hospital bag. Familiarise yourself with the contents of the labour bag, so if she asks you to get her something you can get it quickly. Pack the baby's first outfit (vest, babygro, nappy, hat, mitts etc) in a ziploc bag and put that in the labour bag so you can find it easily when the time comes. Pack a bottle of water with a sports cap; easier to sip on than a normal bottle.

youcancallmeal · 11-07-2014 11:28am

niallo24 wrote: »

Any tips for the day of the birth from fathers here? Expectant dad here, 2 weeks to due date! I know about the massages and breathing and that, but more info the better I suppose!

Strongly encourage your partner to read up on tips for dealing with painful contractions like breathing, using a gym ball, taking showers etc. Its not enough for just you to know about them! When my wife got to the very painful contraction stage she knew what to do herself. I was there for her obviously but as we joked about it later if I had been trying to tell her about breathing techniques while she was in the height of it I would of been told in no uncertain terms where to go!?

Also like others said try and plan to eat, bring a packed sandwich! We went in at 10pm when contractions were what we thought close together and baby wasn't born till midday the next day. We packed a few cereal bars and jellies which weren't enough. She was never hungry and couldn't eat anyway but I was near delirious from lack of food and sleep by 10 the next morning, luckily adrenaline kept me going! With regards sleep if you get a chance you should run down to the car for a power nap, assuming it's happening at night time!? I was lucky in that we had a bit of down time after the epidural was given so a nap for 30 mins made me feel a lot better.

Dr.Winston O'Boogie · 11-07-2014 1:53pm

Thanks all yeah hear you on the listen to my partner and do as she wishes. Kind of what I had in mind anyway, I think a lot of it will just be taking it as it comes, if she wants a massage I will do it, if she wants help with the breathing I will do it.

Will try and have some sandwiches pre made, always hard of course as you are never sure when exactly the baby will decide to come!

firestarter51 · 11-07-2014 2:13pm

niallo24 wrote: »

Thanks all yeah hear you on the listen to my partner and do as she wishes. Kind of what I had in mind anyway, I think a lot of it will just be taking it as it comes, if she wants a massage I will do it, if she wants help with the breathing I will do it.

Will try and have some sandwiches pre made, always hard of course as you are never sure when exactly the baby will decide to come!

My plan is to get someone to go to Tesco for me, meal deals all round

fro9etb8j5qsl2 · 18-07-2014 11:58pm

nikpmup wrote: »

Pack the baby's first outfit (vest, babygro, nappy, hat, mitts etc) in a ziploc bag and put that in the labour bag so you can find it easily when the time come

+1 to this AND familiarise yourself with how to put on a nappy and what order the clothes go on BEFORE the baby is born. I must have drummed it into my OHs head a thousand times "if anything happens, the nappy and clothes are all in the ziploc bag" but it never occurred to me to explain the process of changing and dressing the baby. So when I ended up getting morphine and was totally incapacitated, there was a big panic with my OH staring at the ziploc bag like a cow looking at the moon, not having a clue what to do with the mysterious contents. I eventually managed to talk him through putting the nappy on and immediately conked out, assuming he would figure out the clothing..... Only to be woken up an hour later by him frantically asking me what a babygro was and a nurse shouting at him that the baby would freeze. He had put the short sleeved vest on, put the scratch mittens on the baby's feet and ignored the babygro because he "couldn't figure out what it was supposed to do and it seemed surplus to requirement" :rolleyes: :pac:

Having babysat a lot, I was very familiar with baby care and foolishly never thought to explain the basics to himself, who had never so much as held a newborn before. He got a crash course that evening though and he's a dab hand at it now

Pawwed Rig · 19-07-2014 12:19am

Emery Abundant Newscaster wrote: »

So when I ended up getting morphine and was totally incapacitated, there was a big panic with my OH staring at the ziploc bag like a cow looking at the moon, not having a clue what to do with the mysterious contents. I eventually managed to talk him through putting the nappy on and immediately conked out, assuming he would figure out the clothing..... Only to be woken up an hour later by him frantically asking me what a babygro was and a nurse shouting at him that the baby would freeze. He had put the short sleeved vest on, put the scratch mittens on the baby's feet and ignored the babygro because he "couldn't figure out what it was supposed to do and it seemed surplus to requirement" :rolleyes: :pac:

LOL Mr Postman not the sharpest tool in the shed is he??:P It is all common sense. Not something you would imagine one would need to be shown:pac:

Chattastrophe! · 19-07-2014 6:16am

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

LOL Mr Postman not the sharpest tool in the shed is he??:P It is all common sense. Not something you would imagine one would need to be shown:pac:

Maybe you had younger siblings?

It's not all common sense. Maybe you knew straight away what to do, but not all first-time parents do.

Sure I only realised about ten hours after my baby was born that his nappy had never been changed, and it should probably be done. After sitting awake staring at him for ten hours! It just never occurred to me. And then I had to get a midwife to show me how to do it, even though - with five younger siblings - I've changed a million nappies.

Sometimes these things don't just come automatically to people - great that it happened that way for you, though.

January · 19-07-2014 9:13am

The nurses always helped my partner dress babies :eek:

fro9etb8j5qsl2 · 19-07-2014 10:50am

They put a nappy on him in the labour suite and swaddled him in a blanket, telling us we could dress him ourselves later. When they moved us up to the post labour ward there wasn't a nurse to be found to help

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

LOL Mr Postman not the sharpest tool in the shed is he??:P It is all common sense. Not something you would imagine one would need to be shown:pac:

I'm afraid it's not common sense to someone who has never so much as held a baby before. Imagine, for instance, a man who has little experience with women or womanly things. And imagine giving him a makeup bag full of cosmetics and asking him to pick out an eyelash curler and bottle of foundation. He wouldn't have a clue what he was looking for, never mind how to use them! The thing is, we spent so much time making sure we knew how to use the carseat, open and fold the buggy, put together the crib etc that we never even thought of the most basic thing of all.

Pawwed Rig · 19-07-2014 10:56am

Ah heor!! A baby grow is baby shaped. It is obvious what to do with it :pac:
I did like the mittens on the feet part:D

madeinamerica · 19-07-2014 8:25pm

Even if you know what to do, common sense can go out the window under pressure! It reminds me of the transition area of a triathlon, in all the excitement there are always a few people who clip on the bike helmet before putting on their t-shirt...

Snake · 20-07-2014 9:14pm

Cant wait to meet the new baba. Girlfriend is fed up being pregnant and I'm fed up waiting!!

SuperS54 · 21-07-2014 8:04am

Not so patiently waiting here too, just gone 38 weeks on our first. Unfortunately had to take a trip to the emergency room yesterday when herself's bloodpressure spike over 170, all good though, some meds and bed rest prescribed. Back to waiting.

SuperS54 · 25-07-2014 3:12am

Waiting again, herself just went into the operating theatre for an unscheduled cesarean due to pre-eclampsia.

SuperS54 · 25-07-2014 3:43am

Didn't have to wait so long! Himself out and perfect,screaming his lungs out as a very cute nurse gives him his first bath!

uck51js9zml2yt · 25-07-2014 8:34am

We didn't bathe our 2 for a week. Just a wipe with a damp jclothafter after birth to take off the heavy blood.

After the second one was born I phoned home and was told to leavemmy wife and baby and come home to our 3 year old who was crying and missing his Mammy. Hadn't seen her in 3 days.

Pawwed Rig · 25-07-2014 11:49am

SuperS54 wrote: »

Didn't have to wait so long! Himself out and perfect,screaming his lungs out as a very cute nurse gives him his first bath!

Congratulations

kronsich · 31-07-2014 12:02am

Tough work this parenting business. My little one is almost four weeks old now. Wasn't prepared for the lack of unbroken sleep. Loving life but totally exhausted. Looking forward to bigger gaps in the feeds so we can all get more sleep.

Anyone know a good parenting book for the first year?

beertons · 31-07-2014 7:04am

kronsich wrote: »

Tough work this parenting business. My little one is almost four weeks old now. Wasn't prepared for the lack of unbroken sleep. Loving life but totally exhausted. Looking forward to bigger gaps in the feeds so we can all get more sleep.

Anyone know a good parenting book for the first year?

save our sleep is a great book.

tempnam · 31-07-2014 1:21pm

kronsich wrote: »

Tough work this parenting business. My little one is almost four weeks old now. Wasn't prepared for the lack of unbroken sleep. Loving life but totally exhausted. Looking forward to bigger gaps in the feeds so we can all get more sleep.

Anyone know a good parenting book for the first year?

Sure you won't have time to read it anyway!

mrsWhippy · 31-07-2014 1:52pm

kronsich wrote: »

Tough work this parenting business. My little one is almost four weeks old now. Wasn't prepared for the lack of unbroken sleep. Loving life but totally exhausted. Looking forward to bigger gaps in the feeds so we can all get more sleep.

Anyone know a good parenting book for the first year?

It *will* get easier!

I really liked 'Your baby week by week'

Sensible, easy to read (just read the week relevant to you so no novels to get through), and down to earth advice

uck51js9zml2yt · 31-07-2014 1:59pm

tempnam wrote: »

Sure you won't have time to read it anyway!

He'll be lucky to get time to go to the toilet never mind read a book. But if he's optimistic I could give him all my unread ones

tempnam · 01-08-2014 1:49pm

Molly Wide Creator wrote: »

He'll be lucky to get time to go to the toilet never mind read a book. But if he's optimistic I could give him all my unread ones

Or when they get a little older... lucky to ever go to the toilet alone!

kronsich · 01-08-2014 6:36pm

Ah it isn't that bad. Managed nine hours sleep in the last 24. Three hours three times that is. Doesn't really feel like a nights sleep when it's so broken. Have ordered those two books so will have a look.

Gonna try get her into a routine from tomorrow. Apparently activities and a bath between two cluster feeds from 6 pm should give us six hours of a break.

Will let yaz know anyway but six hours sounds amazing!

uck51js9zml2yt · 01-08-2014 7:15pm

kronsich wrote: »

Ah it isn't that bad. Managed nine hours sleep in the last 24. Three hours three times that is. Doesn't really feel like a nights sleep when it's so broken. Have ordered those two books so will have a look.

Gonna try get her into a routine from tomorrow. Apparently activities and a bath between two cluster feeds from 6 pm should give us six hours of a break.

Will let yaz know anyway but six hours sounds amazing!

Thanks for giving me a laugh

What activities do you hope to do with a newborn? As for routin...... I won't burst your bubble. I managed 2 hours sleep a night for the first month. Eventually got 4 when I started sleeping downstairs. My eldest didn't grasp that I was exhausted and would come down, jump on my head and say "Hello daddy" he's 4 in September.

nikpmup · 02-08-2014 1:02am

My lad is ten months and still wakes at least twice a night. A long time ago I accepted that I was just never going to sleep well again. That helps, as does wine in copious volumes, and sharing the lie in days. Good luck with the bath/cluster feeds thing. Mine was 20 weeks before he even attempted anything resembling consistency. You can't force it - she will settle into a routine when it suits her.

Pawwed Rig · 02-08-2014 1:34am

Don't hate me but our lad has been sleeping 8 hours a night for at least the last 3 months (he is 5 months now). We feed him at 11 and he doesn't normally wake until 7 (the odd time he will wake at 4 or so but not too often). We're such lucky parents:D

The Fathers Thread

Comments