The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

Socialism.
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

Communism.
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism.
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism.
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism.
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

Traditional Capitalism.
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your heard multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Royal Bank Of Scotland (Venture) Capitalism.
You have 2 cows.
You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother in law at the bank. Then execute a equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transfered via an intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy the new president of the US, leaving you with 9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

Surrealism.
You have 2 giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

American Government.
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and force the other one to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

Greek Government.
You have 2 cows.
You borrow lots of Euro's to build barns, milking sheds, hay sores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit, and packing sheds. You still only have 2 cows.

French Government.
You have 2 cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot and block the roads, all because you want 3 cows.

Japanese Government.
You have 2 cows.
You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of a normal cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

Italian Government.
You haave 2 cows.
But you don't know where they are. You decide to go to lunch.

Swiss Government.
You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you. You charge all the owners for storing them.

Chinese Government.
You have 2 cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

Indian Government.
You have 2 cows.
You worship both of them.

British Government.
You have 2 cows.
Both are mad.

Iraqi Government.
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you, and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

Australian Government.
You have 2 cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

New Zealand Government.
You have 2 cows.
The one on the left looks rather attractive.

Irish Government.
You have 2 cows.
You take all their milk, tax them for living in a shed, charge them for drinking water, and fine them for farting. Then you allow bulls to ride other bulls, and legalise the killing of calves before they're even born.