Embarrasing Moments In Shops

20-09-2012 9:38am

I was in Boots a few years ago around Christmass time so the shop was fairly packed. I had just left college and I had a bag on my back. As I treid to squeeze down an aisle, I turned 90 degrees, forgetting about my bag and knocked a load of stuff off the shelf behind me. I must have knoced about 50 boxes of stuff on the floor. Condoms, of every variety and flavour all over the place. It wouldnt have been so bad if people didnt start coming over to help me pick them up, including a lovley little old lady.

naughtysmurf · 20-09-2012 11:03am

I hit a pallet of wine that was right in the middle of an isle in Lidl with my trolley, think I broke 40 plus bottles of red, slipped and ended up on my back, cutting an arse cheek in the process

As I was there during my lunch break, headed back to work with a bleeding arse & stinking of cheap plonk...workmates took a bit of convincing

In fairness to Lidl, they didn't make a fuss

Frynge · 20-09-2012 12:17pm

Wasn't in a shop but on the way to a shop.

I was living in a small apartment building where most other people worked 9 to 5/6. Tea made and I had no milk so a trip to shop directly across from the front of the building was needed. Pressed the button for the lift, I can hear some muffled sound coming from inside the lift just before the doors open. Lad and a girl I'd never seen before stand in the lift looking at the ground sheepishly. She was standing in front of him so I didn't notice until I was behind her that his belt and jeans were undone. I though fair enough, practisers of fellatio are aloud use lifts too. Just as the door to the lift closed the creepy voice from the lift says, "going down".

The colour they turned could only be described as skittles red.

20 to 30 seconds of awkward in the lift, but I just went across the road and when I got back and pressed the lift button, doors open and the two of them are still in the lift, cue more awkward.

stoneill · 20-09-2012 12:28pm

I was on an escalator in a shop, but the escalator wasn't moving.
Then I realised I was in an escalator shop and was standing on one of the shop displays. Boy, was I embarrassed!

Aenaes · 20-09-2012 12:45pm

About 10 years ago my brother-in-law convinced my brother to go into a shop and ask for their new ice-cream cone, the "69". My brother asks for the 69 and the old man at the till says, "Do you not mean a 99?". "Nope", says brother, "69 please". Shopkeeper tells him they don't have it, he came back to the car saying everyone in the shop was laughing.

Same brother-in-law was driving a lorry a couple of years ago and had nowhere to relieve himself. So he goes into a shop and buys a pack of toilet rolls. At the till he asks for a plastic bag. Person behind the till asks, "Can you not just carry the pack?"
"That's not what I want the bag for", he says.

Fozzydog3 · 20-09-2012 12:49pm

In chicago about 1998 so I was about 6 I was out my back reading Calvin and Hobbes and my mam wanted to go shopping with my aunt and my brother and I remember being really crabby ( it was summer so I was probably on the verge of heatsroke ),

Anyway in calvin and hobbes there was a panel where Calvin had a piece of paper saying "help Ive been kidnapped !" and held it to the rear window of his parents car while they were going somewhere and I thought it would be hilarious to copy this .

So we arrive in the supermarket with no drama my mam seen the sign and saw the funny side of it. and my brother stayed in the car . so fifteen minutes later still heatstricken and unimpressed with my mam's non-reaction to the sign thing , I started just legging it around the shop trying to wreck her head.

this goes on for about 5 minutes until BOOM !!!

I leg it full force into this huge overweight cops stomach I bounce back in awe and I notice he's holding the aforementioned Sign in his hands theres a pause as I register whats going on , it seemed like a week went by and he shouts "SIR ! DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY !!" (youre either a sir or a ma'a'a'a'a'm in america)

Another long pause and I ran away as fast as I could to my mam who was strangley ok with it ,

I forget what happened afterwards until we went outside to see three squad cars surrounding my mams car with my (11 year old) brother bawling his eyes out inside . and the rest they say , is history .

gronemeyer · 20-09-2012 12:52pm

I **** myself in a chemist in Peru spent 5 minutes trying to explain in Spanish, that I had severe diarrhoea and vomiting due to altitude sickness, she was playing stupid and trying to sell me suncream and boom without warning to make it worse I had 3/4 lengths on as well

Duggy747 · 20-09-2012 12:57pm

In a queue at a counter when, for no fùckin' reason, my belt decided to disintegrate with the screws and buckle falling to the floor in front of everyone behind me.

Cue me trying to hold my jeans up while I pick up the remains of my shìtty belt.

fasttalkerchat · 20-09-2012 1:19pm

Duggy747 wrote: »

In a queue at a counter when, for no fùckin' reason, my belt decided to disintegrate with the screws and buckle falling to the floor in front of everyone behind me.

Cue me trying to hold my jeans up while I pick up the remains of my shìtty belt.

I was expecting a story from Das Kompany from you!

jblack · 20-09-2012 3:33pm

Last weekend a girl I had been on a few dates with invited me around for dinner. She was actually house sitting her folks' place as they were away on holidays, very nice house - old and expensively decked out, I imagine as I don't have a clue about these things.

This was our first intimate date as the rest had been grab a bite and a few drinks - as of yet there had been no carnal festivities.

Anyway, I had been on the lash the night before and my stomach was not in good order. Half-way through dinner I knew a bum explosion was imminent so I excused myself and went up to the Jacks (which is bigger than my living room). There was that old fashioned white wall paper with foamy bits throughout it on the bottom half of the wall, and then some floral designer wall paper on the top half.

After muffling what was a loud, extremely smelly and messy dump, I reached for the toilet paper - it slipped from the holder, hit my foot and rolled to the door about 6 feet away. I stood up to fetch it, slipped, and whatever way I fell I managed to wipe my arse all over the lovely white wall paper.

Panicked, I began to scrub the wall paper with wet loo roll and hand cream - needless to say, disaster. Creamy skids all over the wall now.

So, and I am rather proud of this, I flushed the loo, snuck out of the bathroom and went up stairs to find an another bathroom. When I did, I went in, locked the door and snapped the key in the lock. I then rang her phone and started laughing saying "erm this is a bit embarrassing but I'm locked in the 1st floor toilet". She came up tried to help but eventually I had to go out the window and back in through the rear door.

After we had a bit of giggle about how ridiculous the whole scenario had been she had asked me why I din't use the downstairs loo - I replied that it there was a bit of a smell so maybe the toilet was blocked. She was quite embarrassed and went up to check it out.

When she came back she politely asked me to leave.

I hope to god she is not on boards and sees this.

Big Nasty · 20-09-2012 3:54pm

jblack wrote: »

Last weekend a girl I had been on a few dates with invited me around for dinner. She was actually house sitting her folks' place as they were away on holidays, very nice house - old and expensively decked out, I imagine as I don't have a clue about these things.

This was our first intimate date as the rest had been grab a bite and a few drinks - as of yet there had been no carnal festivities.

Anyway, I had been on the lash the night before and my stomach was not in good order. Half-way through dinner I knew a bum explosion was imminent so I excused myself and went up to the Jacks (which is bigger than my living room). There was that old fashioned white wall paper with foamy bits throughout it on the bottom half of the wall, and then some floral designer wall paper on the top half.

After muffling what was a loud, extremely smelly and messy dump, I reached for the toilet paper - it slipped from the holder, hit my foot and rolled to the door about 6 feet away. I stood up to fetch it, slipped, and whatever way I fell I managed to wipe my arse all over the lovely white wall paper.

Panicked, I began to scrub the wall paper with wet loo roll and hand cream - needless to say, disaster. Creamy skids all over the wall now.

So, and I am rather proud of this, I flushed the loo, snuck out of the bathroom and went up stairs to find an another bathroom. When I did, I went in, locked the door and snapped the key in the lock. I then rang her phone and started laughing saying "erm this is a bit embarrassing but I'm locked in the 1st floor toilet". She came up tried to help but eventually I had to go out the window and back in through the rear door.

After we had a bit of giggle about how ridiculous the whole scenario had been she had asked me why I din't use the downstairs loo - I replied that it there was a bit of a smell so maybe the toilet was blocked. She was quite embarrassed and went up to check it out.

When she came back she politely asked me to leave.

I hope to god she is not on boards and sees this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgsVHJp9dJM

Mr Freeze · 20-09-2012 4:18pm

bbam wrote: »

Years ago I brought my daughter then three into the library to choose a book or two, small town place so not big at all.
We were both going about our business checking out the books. She was about two isles away when I heard her break wind, followed at the top of her voice by "it's ok daddy, just windies but no poos".

There were about six people in the place including two librarians and we all fell about laughing. I was scarlet though.

Brilliant. Just telling this one to a work colleague who sits beside me. She told me one of her own.

She was in a small coffee shop, and there was a child, a parent and the Grandmother at the table beside her. Anyways, the child needs to be to the toilet so the granny brings her.

Out they come a few mins later, and sit down, and the child announces at the top of her voice. "I only did a wee wee, but Granny did a poo poo".

Queue, everyone in the whole place not knowing where to look.

SunnyDub1 · 20-09-2012 4:27pm

Was doing a food shop with my granny a while back ago. She tends to just stroll off and do her own thing , picking up her bargains :P

anyways... find her at the till with the shop assistant. Shop assistant making funny faces at her I go up to see what's going on and apparently my granny was asking if they any bags of hash , she had gotten a bag last week on special and wants to know had they any more

What my granny didn't know is that they are called hash browns

CucaFace · 20-09-2012 4:46pm

A friend of mine who's eye sight isn't the best without his glasses went into a clothes shop one day without his glasses.

As he walks towards the end of the shop he sees a guy walking right towards him.

So as they get closer to each other he makes an attempt to side step him but the guy does the exact same thing so they do this dance 4/5 times, each time my friend apologising loudly to this guy.

It turns out he was actually just facing a mirror and was actually trying to side step his own image in it.

He said the shop was full of people pissing themselves at him so he just turned around and walked out the door.

tread_softly · 20-09-2012 7:04pm

A few years ago, I went into the local hairdressers to get my hair done for my debs.

Walked up to the counter and said to the "Hi, I'm booked in for a wash and blowjob"

She looked at me weird and I was thinking, what the fcuk is this wagon's problem!?

Only when I was lying looking up at the ceiling while she washed my hair did I realise what I said. Turned bright red, didn't say a word to her as she dried my hair and haven't gone back to that hairdressers since.

ErnieBert · 20-09-2012 10:44pm

I was in a queue in a chemist. The girl in front of me whispers something to the assistant but the assistant seems perplexed.

The assistant then beckoned her co-worker and said, in an almost shouting tone, "This girl has warts on her private area. What will I give her?"

say_who_now? · 20-09-2012 10:55pm

ErnieBert wrote: »

I was in a queue in a chemist. The girl in front of me whispers something to the assistant but the assistant seems perplexed.

The assistant then beckoned her co-worker and said, in an almost shouting tone, "This girl has warts on her private area. What will I give her?"

A fùcking complex, by the sounds of it! :pac:

keith16 · 20-09-2012 11:04pm

So I was in Tesco one day. Packing the groceries into the trolley at the checkout when the inevitable "do you have a clubcard" question comes along.

I reply that I don't but the old biddy queueing behind me getting her catfood and milk said, "oh I have a club card", in other words, I can take your points, which I had no problem with!

Anyway, the wench working the till staunchly replies, "NO NO, we can't do that, only you can claim the points, blah blah blah, big fcuking needless angry lecture".

Anyway, I paid and was packing the last of my stuff as the aforementioned biddy had her one or two items scanned through.

Serious as you like, without even blinking, the till wench turns to the poor old biddy and goes...."now, do you have a clubcard?" :rolleyes:

dublinman1990 · 21-09-2012 12:27am

I was doing a week's work experience while in Centra some years ago. There was a manager for no apparent reason was giving me dirty looks every time I would walk into the place.

One day; I was halfway stacking up bottles of wine on a shelf after taking security tags off them. I had taken a tag off one bottle of red wine; next thing it falls down on the ground with glass shattered & wine spilt all over the place. I looked at it and standing there being completely morto.

The manager than come up with me not knowing what happens next. I thought he would give a right telling off. However, strangely, he looked at me being very happy for one reason or another.

He must have a good one in bed the previous night or whatever; but, that is only my assumption.

I was told to clear it up and that was it.

skimpydoo · 21-09-2012 1:11am

Years ago when I was in College, I worked part time on checkouts in a supermarket to earn some drinking money. Anyway one day a young student came to my till and he had bought the usual amount of stuff for one person. I started scanning his stuff through when I noticed a pair of tights. Without batting an eyelid and putting foot in mouth I asked him was he going robbing?. He looked at me and started to laugh. I was lucky he saw the funny side.

Atavan-Halen · 21-09-2012 1:16am

Not a shop but a pub. Was in Fibbers one night and they do a cocktail called a dirty pussy. So after a few drinks off I go to the bar and ask for 2 dirty pussys.

The girl behind the bar, joking, goes "Oh I only have 1".

I then go "Oh.....well I just have 1 then."

She then laughs and says "No, I just have 1" and winks.

Then I said "Yeah, just give me 1!" A little bit irate at this stage.

It was only when I realised that my friend was pissing herself laughing what the barmaid meant. Morto!

Dave_The_Sheep · 21-09-2012 1:28am

Used to work in JD in Liffey Valley... working the tills one day, taking sale after sale, I was a bit hungover and bored out of my tree. So a young woman comes up to the till with her fella, I didn't really notice who it was at the till, I just took their clothes items and I was running them through the till and folding them up, as you do, putting them into bags. I take the last item, fold it into the paper bag, and focus back into reality.

I've been staring blankly into space for the last minute or two. You know the stare, where you're not looking at anything at all in particular, just your eyes have unfocused and you're looking into the distance while doing the menial task you're at.

That stare. So I was doing that ... I clicked back into reality to realise that my unfocused stare had been ... for want of a better word ... focused right on the young one's chest. For a good minute or two. Of course, I wasn't actually looking at her, wasn't looking at anything but still.

Her fella was NOT impressed. Neither was she. I'm surprised they never made a complaint.

skimpydoo · 21-09-2012 1:37am

A few years ago I was in Scotland catching up with some old college mates. I was in bits after the first night and went into the local Boots looking for Verve hangover cure. I asked the girl behind the counter do you have any Verve. She replied sorry this boots doesn't sell CD's try Virgin Megastore next door or the bigger boots down the street. Cue me spending next 2 minutes in a very bad hungover state trying to explain what Verve was.

Wafa · 21-09-2012 1:59am

One day me and my sister were in tesco and Bertie Ahern was there with a load of people around him. My sister walks over to him and he shakes her hand and her hair got stuck in the button of his jacket and she was there for a bit trying to get it out. While this was happening some woman came over and asked him about his new grandchild, he didn't look too impressed

humbert · 21-09-2012 2:01am

Ronan Leonard wrote: »

A few years ago I was in Scotland catching up with some old college mates. I was in bits after the first night and went into the local Boots looking for Verve hangover cure. I asked the girl behind the counter do you have any Verve. She replied sorry this boots doesn't sell CD's try Virgin Megastore next door or the bigger boots down the street. Cue me spending next 2 minutes in a very bad hungover state trying to explain what Verve was.

I think I would have taken it as a slight on my customer service.

skimpydoo · 21-09-2012 2:03am

humbert wrote: »

I think I would have taken it as a slight on my customer service.

I later found out Verve was only sold here and not in the U.K.

Neadine · 21-09-2012 2:32am

Wilde86 wrote: »

I used to work in a retail outlet on Grafton street and one evening I was behind the till with my co worker serving customers when one woman approached me with her little baby.
Then I noticed that while we were doing the cash transaction that she was breast feeding while handing me over the money.
I didn't know where to look and neither did my colleague and the person that she was serving.
Now, I have no issues with a woman breast feeding her child in public places ie cafe or public park. But I do have an issue with a woman doing it at a cash register.
Am I alone in thinking that this is a step too far?

Now, that's what you call multitasking!!!

mauzo · 21-09-2012 2:43am

Ive been pissing myself laughing at these! I have loads from working in supervalu but cant think of them!

Shopping with my mum a few weeks ago, I said Id follow her in because I was getting clothes in Dunnes next door. Go in and find her about 10 minutes later and see her down the end of the aisle, standing beside her trolley, looking at something on the shelf.... She tells me to go get her 2 double packs of 7up. Grab the trolley and off I go. Just putting the 7ups in and she comes up behind me and asks what Im doing. I said Im getting the 7up to go with your vodka you lush, and point to the vodka in the trolley.
Turn around and theres an oul one gawking at me. Turns out I hijacked her trolley! Morto..

Posted this before in another thread:
Standing in McDonald's and my friend was giving out to me for ejaculating with my hands. She's really loud as well. I was in stitches laughing and asked her was she giving out that I talk with my hands a lot?
She says yeah, you always ejaculate with your hands!
The guy in front turned around and told her she means gesticulate

I was pushing a trolley around m&s the other day, there was a lady blocking one of the aisles. I meant to turn around and say excuse me please, instead I went up behind her and went BEEP BEEP!!!! in a big stupid voice I apologised and she just started laughing thank god

Boardom · 21-09-2012 12:52pm

On a recent holiday to the Philippines my girlfriend and I had to visit a Pharmacy to top up on Condoms (and sun tan lotion) as we were about to head out to a tropical island for a week with no shops around.

The cute attendant in the Pharmacy spoke English but not a whole lot so I knew this was going to be awkward. So I rambled up to the counter and asked for a packet of condoms. She gave me a packet of three.

I was thinking this is not going to last us a full week while on holiday so I said do you have any bigger packets?

Suddenly her face went completely red. So I said it again slowly and clearly in case she misunderstood. Then she looked really shy and embarrassed and said back to me.

Sir, we don't have a bigger size. These are just standard size for filipinos. :eek:

Paddyfield · 21-09-2012 12:56pm

A foreign tourist, German I'd say, came in to a newsagent shop I was working and asked in a strained accent "do you have girly magazines?". I pointed to the top shelf skin mags. He looked like he need to relieve himself urgently so I didn't engage in any further conversation.

He seemed confused. He came back to the counter and asked if we has something more suitable for his daughter ..." I want a magazine for a 9 year old girl.".

He bought his a Disney comic and left the shop with a bad impression of the youth of Ireland.

Embarrasing Moments In Shops

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