Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

greenfrogs · 04-03-2015 11:58pm

It can be scary and daunting that the road to recovery seems never ending. I am kind of in limbo at the moment. The psychiatrist said I don't have depression but borderline personality disorder. She talked about reducing my anti depressants dose. I really think I need them for the foreseeable future. I used be so down before. I never want to go back there.

Joya · 05-03-2015 11:17am

havent posted here a while.. just dont know whats got into me lately but i can hardly study at all for weeks now and i fell so much behind everything.. seems cannot push myself to even start and just waiting for days to pass... and the stress is accumulating but even that does not push me over the line.. im postponing everything regardless what it is.. and all of that is just making me kindof sick of myself.. like trapped in a bad bad cycle..
sorry for "venting" but just had to start talking.......

Gremlinertia · 05-03-2015 12:07pm

Had my first group meeting of the DBT course yesterday, felt like i'd been hit by a truck, anxiety is tiring, sitting in group setting for nearly three hours was hard.. But i've done it and lived through, hardest step taken for now i guess.

Joya · 05-03-2015 12:09pm

wow grem so good you were able to manage that! *joya admires*

mg1982 · 05-03-2015 1:41pm

Seen the psychiatrist yesterday, it was a different one again which is very frustrating. Told him about the paranoia anxiety and intrusive thoughts and he just told me to do some breathing exercises, but they never seem to help me.

Gremlinertia · 05-03-2015 1:51pm

mg1982 wrote: »

Seen the psychiatrist yesterday, it was a different one again which is very frustrating. Told him about the paranoia anxiety and intrusive thoughts and he just told me to do some breathing exercises, but they never seem to help me.

The exact same happened me, only saw same doc once (if ya get me) every other time it was a different doc on their psych rotation, so felt like it wasn't worth going, eventually though i got there. Hoping the same for you MG

Roquentin · 05-03-2015 2:40pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

The exact same happened me, only saw same doc once (if ya get me) every other time it was a different doc on their psych rotation, so felt like it wasn't worth going, eventually though i got there. Hoping the same for you MG

this is what frustrates me. i would see a new doctor every time. (i must have seen at least twenty doctors by this stage) because they keep rotating.

badly run i must say. the gp is probably better for this reason. at least he or she knows you.

loubian · 05-03-2015 3:33pm

Every time I take my sertraline, a few hours later my legs gets a mind of its own and bounces without me even noticing. When I do notice, it's hard to stop. It's so annoying.

Throwaway3754 · 05-03-2015 4:03pm

Feel like my family are pretty much embarrassed that I have a mental illness. My dad gets summer jobs in a finance firm for my siblings and his friends kids but won't for me because he doesn't want to explain if I have a panic attack..

MojoRisinnnn · 05-03-2015 4:15pm

Throwaway3754 wrote: »

Feel like my family are pretty much embarrassed that I have a mental illness. My dad gets summer jobs in a finance firm for my siblings and his friends kids but won't for me because he doesn't want to explain if I have a panic attack..

I'm really sorry to hear that and not that you may have a panic attack but that your dad sounds like a ****ty person.

sheepboy288 · 05-03-2015 7:07pm

mushrooms helpful for depression?

LegacyUser · 05-03-2015 9:02pm

Anyone ever felt so angry that you feel like your blood is sizzling through your veins?
I really feel like givong someone a piece of my mind but in some situations I know confrontation doesn't get you anywhere

Euphoria Intensifies · 05-03-2015 10:28pm

Feeling very lonely/socially isolated today

greenfrogs · 06-03-2015 12:03am

I hope it passes soon for you Euphoria Intensifies.

sam34 · 06-03-2015 12:16am

sheepboy288 wrote: »

mushrooms helpful for depression?

MOD: no discussion of illegal activity please.

carzony · 06-03-2015 12:19am

A great week for me lads.. I actually attended a full week in college without any difficulties really.. I went in early and left late and for once I actually wanted to stay there and not go home lol..

I have to say the Lexapro is a great drug and has really worked for me so far.. Still waiting for the councellor appointment but i reckon i could be weeks waiting for that.

scrimshanker · 06-03-2015 12:32am

carzony wrote: »

A great week for me lads.. I actually attended a full week in college without any difficulties really.. I went in early and left late and for once I actually wanted to stay there and not go home lol..

I have to say the Lexapro is a great drug and has really worked for me so far.. Still waiting for the councellor appointment but i reckon i could be weeks waiting for that.

I've actually been getting worse at attending. Makes me wonder if it's all in my head and I'm not actually suffering from anxiety at all

mg1982 · 06-03-2015 3:47am

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Feeling very lonely/socially isolated today

Really sorry to hear that. I get plenty of days like that, its a horrible feeling but it does pass.

carzony · 06-03-2015 3:24pm

scrimshanker wrote: »

I've actually been getting worse at attending. Makes me wonder if it's all in my head and I'm not actually suffering from anxiety at all

I'v had the exact same thoughts in my head the last few weeks mate.

I'v questioned even having anxiety which is why I kinda want an official diagnosis but I know it's not a physical problem anyway and all the signs point to anxiety but I still question it again and again which ironically might be part of the anxiety

I question most things though like

severe Breathing difficulties = unfit
Panicky feeling = just my imagination
Tired and not motivated = just lazy.
Questioning every little thing = just the way I am

Not sure wether it's denial or anxiety but questioning everything drives me crazy sometimes but i just can't help it..

loveisdivine · 06-03-2015 3:44pm

I'm the same carzony, always questioning everything.

I seem to be constantly assesing my mood and any feelings that arise. If I feel even a bit "meh" I start going through in my head what could be causing it. I'm convinced there must be a reason why I feel "meh" so I have to think about it till I find out why.
I usually just end up making up a reason though and then stressing over it.

I did a great meditation the other day. It guided you to your inner child, now I don't exactly believe in those kinda things, but I pictured myself as a child. Then I thought about everything that child had gone through and the feelings she experienced. I realised that I need to protect her from anymore emotional trauma. Which in turn made me more positive about taking care of myself mentally. Giving myelf a break ya know. When I start to berate myself for things I've done in the past, I picture myself as a child and think "You've been through so much already, enough is enough, you deserve good now".

carzony · 06-03-2015 3:50pm

loveisdivine wrote: »

I'm the same carzony, always questioning everything.

I seem to be constantly assesing my mood and any feelings that arise. If I feel even a bit "meh" I start going through in my head what could be causing it. I'm convinced there must be a reason why I feel "meh" so I have to think about it till I find out why.
I usually just end up making up a reason though and then stressing over it.

Well I even question things I already know the answer to like the GP told me to go back to her after 2 weeks on the medication and I was thinking ''jesus, did she say 2 weeks or 3 weeks''

I knew she said 2 weeks but for some reason I doubted that in my head and questioned it for a little while...

That's one example of many....................

scrimshanker · 06-03-2015 3:58pm

carzony wrote: »

Well I even question things I already know the answer to like the GP told me to go back to her after 2 weeks on the medication and I was thinking ''jesus, did she say 2 weeks or 3 weeks''

I knew she said 2 weeks but for some reason I doubted that in my head and questioned it for a little while...

That's one example of many....................

I can't trust myself at all on the lexapro. Apparently my GP told me when I first went that it might make me feel suicidal, which I believe he did. But I have no memory of it. What else am I forgetting? And surely if I was anxious, the lexapro would work, instead of where I currently am. I don't even know if I have made any progress. I'm just so confused.

Roquentin · 06-03-2015 4:53pm

carzony · 06-03-2015 5:48pm

scrimshanker wrote: »

I can't trust myself at all on the lexapro. Apparently my GP told me when I first went that it might make me feel suicidal, which I believe he did. But I have no memory of it. What else am I forgetting? And surely if I was anxious, the lexapro would work, instead of where I currently am. I don't even know if I have made any progress. I'm just so confused.

Just because it worked for me doesnt mean it works for everyone mate.

When I heard many people actually collapse from anxiety I thought ''I can't have anxiety, sure i'v never collapsed'' lol no point in comparing one person to another because it doesnt seem to work like that :cool::cool:

Roquentin · 06-03-2015 6:08pm

“The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”
― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council

mg1982 · 06-03-2015 8:12pm

Even going into the supermarket to do a weekly shop is an intensely uncomfortable experience. I have been doing this for ten years now in the same shop but yet the anxiety is the same. Feel like im fighting a losing battle.

fr336 · 06-03-2015 9:16pm

It's beyond scary just how much your mind can play tricks on you when you're this far down the hole. Never let yourself get this bad guys, trust me I've been bad. Luckily my past stubbornness and belief got me through, hopefully I can be consistent now.

greenfrogs · 06-03-2015 9:23pm

mg1982 wrote: »

Even going into the supermarket to do a weekly shop is an intensely uncomfortable experience. I have been doing this for ten years now in the same shop but yet the anxiety is the same. Feel like im fighting a losing battle.

Personally I find supermarkets one of the most rage inducing places. Someday I think I will start screaming at someone because they have irritated me. Maybe try and go at a quiet time.

carzony · 06-03-2015 11:46pm

Them bastard checkouts in supermarkets drive me crazy. noone is even in a hurry to get out of your way are they? ;/

fryup · 06-03-2015 11:50pm

anyone listen to the guy on liveline today?? suffers from extreme social phobia brought on by a mugging many years ago

during xmas he never goes out, stays indoors constantly

titan18 · 07-03-2015 12:22am

Eurghh, tough day today. Would love to just quit work and tell everyone to fcuk off inside there. So soul destroying

heyday30 · 07-03-2015 12:31am

greenfrogs wrote: »

Personally I find supermarkets one of the most rage inducing places. Someday I think I will start screaming at someone because they have irritated me. Maybe try and go at a quiet time.

Tesco online has saved me many times.

Gremlinertia · 07-03-2015 10:32am

Went very buried in my head yesterday, upset myself a lot. I know there will be further phases of this, just hope the dbt helps me manage..

geniuspure · 07-03-2015 10:43am

write down your fears/anxiety etc. rate them 1 to 10 of them actually happening. it can be an eye opening to realise all u feared was fear itself

mg1982 · 07-03-2015 10:46am

fr336 wrote: »

It's beyond scary just how much your mind can play tricks on you when you're this far down the hole. Never let yourself get this bad guys, trust me I've been bad. Luckily my past stubbornness and belief got me through, hopefully I can be consistent now.

Believe me i know all about that, the mind playing tricks on you. Its amazing how your perception of everything can change. How are you anyway mate? Havent seen you posting in a while.

Gremlinertia · 07-03-2015 10:09pm

Back muscles still in a mess since Wednesday. Had a big crash yesterday too. Trying to get my self together a bit now. Very disconnected though.. How are the rest of you who may be around doing?

scrimshanker · 07-03-2015 10:14pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Back muscles still in a mess since Wednesday. Had a big crash yesterday too. Trying to get my self together a bit now. Very disconnected though.. How are the rest of you who may be around doing?

Oh sorry to hear that, Grem. Been very scared and avoiding everything I'm supposed to be doing. Can't get my head to stop thinking about how I'm going wrong.

So SNAFU, basically

Gremlinertia · 07-03-2015 10:24pm

Spent a long time today apologising to my closest friend for my behaviour. Again. So obviously been beating myself up and guilt tripping.. So what I'm saying is I hear you Scrim, the vicious hamster wheel and theories on how to get off the damn thing will have to be a discussion again here sometime..

scrimshanker · 07-03-2015 10:32pm

I'm looking forward to my next counselling appointment, strangely enough. I'm just worried I'm putting too much hope into it working, if you get what I mean? I've actually been doing what I was set to do.

Gremlinertia · 07-03-2015 10:47pm

scrimshanker wrote: »

I'm looking forward to my next counselling appointment, strangely enough. I'm just worried I'm putting too much hope into it working, if you get what I mean? I've actually been doing what I was set to do.

Absolutely snap re the faith in therapy and course.. I mean I'm pretty sure it's going to do good things for me then I get thinking that it will fail or I think it'll bring up too much stuff and I'll end up somehow even worse out of it..

carzony · 07-03-2015 11:58pm

Spent most of the night doing college assignments but 1 of the biggest has been completed

Thank god for that I can tell ya..

Panic wise i'm fine and i'v actually been able to function perfectly fine. Don't wanna sound like i'm exaggerating but my life has really turned around since the meds

Should I still see the councellor? when i finally get the appointment like?

Gremlinertia · 08-03-2015 12:13am

I would say absolutely see the counsellor, talk things out. Perhaps find out what was going on so you know yourself better.. My opinion of course but while it's taken me years to find someone to talk to g now know the potential for repair and change is huge.. Glad to hear you're doing so well now though too.

scrimshanker · 08-03-2015 12:16am

carzony wrote: »

Spent most of the night doing college assignments but 1 of the biggest has been completed Thank god for that I can tell ya..

Panic wise i'm fine and i'v actually been able to function perfectly fine. Don't wanna sound like i'm exaggerating but my life has really turned around since the meds

Should I still see the councellor? when i finally get the appointment like?

I'm with Grem on this one. I'd be inclined go if I were you (but I'm not you, so that's about as useful as a chocolate teapot, I know :rolleyes: sorry)

In seriousness, though, you've nothing to lose by going. Especially given that you won't spend the session an anxious wreck unable to talk properly (that would be me). I'm absolutely no expert, but apparently cognitive distortions are very common in people with anxiety. If you can engage with a good therapist they might be able to help you identify and challenge some thought processes that aren't helpful. Maybe you don't have any, in which case what's to lose by spending an hour with a counsellor?

greenfrogs · 08-03-2015 12:18am

Carzony I think counselling would still be a good idea. The meds help you get into a better head space. Counselling can help you to understand why it happened and learn tools how to prevent/cope with things.

Greminlertia (I spelled that completely wrong oops). I hope your feeling better after your crash. I get the whole disconnected thing. I feel like that at the moment. I'm nearly finished cbt for my depression. I'm waiting for a dbt type programme for my borderline personality traits. I know I'm still not better. I just feel a bit like I'm out at sea on my own paddle boat at the moment. I'm no longer depressed and my meds may be reduced soon. But still I can't say I am happy.

Does anyone here have many friends and a social life. I have one friend who I meet every other week. I want more friends and a more active social life but it seems like such hard work.

carzony · 08-03-2015 1:09am

I actually want to go to the councellor I just don't wanna waste his/her time as the waiting list is quite long but I think i'll still go because i'm not sure i'd be doing aswell without the meds.

In regards to the friends thing, No, I never had many friends outside of college or outside of social events. It actually never bothered me. It is harder to meet new people or hook up with girls though....

scrimshanker · 08-03-2015 1:19am

carzony wrote: »

I actually want to go to the councellor I just don't wanna waste his/her time as the waiting list is quite long but I think i'll still go because i'm not sure i'd be doing aswell without the meds.

I know that feeling. You're not wasting their time. Before the meds, were you functioning normally? If not, you're not wasting their time. I presume you've some aim to - at some point in the future - come off meds and still live normally? If so, the sooner you learn coping strategies and tackling any possible underlying issues the better, right?

carzony · 08-03-2015 1:38am

scrimshanker wrote: »

I know that feeling. You're not wasting their time. Before the meds, were you functioning normally? If not, you're not wasting their time. I presume you've some aim to - at some point in the future - come off meds and still live normally? If so, the sooner you learn coping strategies and tackling any possible underlying issues the better, right?

Before the meds everything was extremely difficult and even trying to get to college every morning was a battle.

I would feel breathless most of the time and some mornings I just turned around and went home because I knew I would have a full panic attack. I could actually predict it at one stage.

Taking the meds doesnt really bother me to be honest, I'm very aware of addiction though....

I'll see what the councellor says to me and i'll work from there mate.

mg1982 · 08-03-2015 10:45am

carzony wrote: »

Before the meds everything was extremely difficult and even trying to get to college every morning was a battle.

I would feel breathless most of the time and some mornings I just turned around and went home because I knew I would have a full panic attack. I could actually predict it at one stage.

Taking the meds doesnt really bother me to be honest, I'm very aware of addiction though....

I'll see what the councellor says to me and i'll work from there mate.

It really is great that the meds are working so well. Can i ask which one you are on and how long for?

norwegianwood · 08-03-2015 11:59am

I'm sure this has been said a million times already, but I just want to talk about how great exercise is. A few months ago I took up running and I'm training for a half marathon with some of my friends at the moment. And some days it's the last thing I feel like doing, I feel weak, no energy, like I want to die so what's the point in going out running in a big circle? But when I get out there, it's amazing. My problems just melt away, it's me, my legs moving me forward and whatever music I'm listening to. I feel strong, like nothing can phase me. It's probably the only moment in the day that I feel like I'm in control of my life, and when I finish, I'm happy for the rest of the day, regardless of how I felt before I went out. It doesn't matter how slow I'm going or how out of breath I get, it's a sense of achievement for me.

I'm just writing this because I found exercise more effective than antidepressants, than any counsellor. And if I can do it literally anybody can, until last summer if you told me to go run and that it'd help me, I'd break my arse laughing at you. And if you're reading this, you're feeling low, and you haven't already, just try it and I guarantee it'll help. Doesn't have to be running, can be anything, I lift weights as well and really enjoy that too, but the great thing about it is that it can be anything you like, if it gets you out, gets you moving, gets your mind off how miserable life can be for a while. I promise, it'll be one of the best things you ever do to help yourself get better. Sorry if this comes off as patronizing or anything, I know exercise recommended all the time, but I thought it might be good hearing this from someone who's a pretty bad case but can still find happiness in it. So yeah, try it basically, it'll help you.

Ososlo · 08-03-2015 12:10pm

Great post norweiganwood.
Definitely worth anyone giving running a try. Download a couch to 5k plan today and follow rigidly.
you might be amazed at what could happen.

Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Comments