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Sexy street harassment

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    #32
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    I was in old Jerusalem and for the first time in my life men were giving me compliments as I was passing by and wanting to stop and chat.
    "Hey goodlooking", "Come over here" etc etc

    I'm a guy, 19yo at the time.
    It ****ing freaked me out.

    I've nothing but compassion for the women who has to hear this **** daily.


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    #33
    Rightwing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,101 ✭✭✭Rightwing


    biko wrote: »
    I was in old Jerusalem and for the first time in my life men were giving me compliments as I was passing by and wanting to stop and chat.
    "Hey goodlooking", "Come over here" etc etc

    I'm a guy, 19yo at the time.
    It ****ing freaked me out.

    I've nothing but compassion for the women who has to hear this **** daily.

    But if you were a homosexual, you may have been chuffed ?


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    #34
    Ave Sodalis
    Registered Users Posts: 7,548 ✭✭✭Ave Sodalis


    green_screen wrote: »
    I wear tight clothes because they're comfortable to me, as that's what I'm used to wearing. Also because I look like a heifer in baggy clothes.

    Showing off skin isn't a comfort thing, but I don't see how tight clothing isn't a comfort choice.

    Yup, only jeans that I can afford to buy are the long legged skinny jeans out of Pennies because ordinary jeans dont fit me and I could spend a fortune on one pair of jeans in another shop that do fit (long legs and size 6/8).
    As for the comments, I don't know of it's just good looking women. I've had people beep at me and even shout stuff and I wouldn't be the best looking girl in the world. The most annoying one though was "cheer up, you'd look a lot better if you smiled" from some random lad in a shop once. Was not impressed....


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    #35
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    biko wrote: »
    I was in old Jerusalem and for the first time in my life men were giving me compliments as I was passing by and wanting to stop and chat.
    "Hey goodlooking", "Come over here" etc etc

    I'm a guy, 19yo at the time.
    It ****ing freaked me out.

    I've nothing but compassion for the women who has to hear this **** daily.

    Think how it'd feel if it started at about age 16 and went on into your 30s, and you'd had being wary of men drilled into you for years*.

    * Yes, of course all men are not rapists, but it can be the case that girls are taught to be wary of all strange men because you never know.


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    #36
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    Egginacup wrote: »
    Oh FFS!!!

    So "Hey beautiful, have a great day!" is fucking harassment now??

    Friggin' American prudes.

    I think it's the sheer monotonous regularity of it that would irritate, going by that video.

    Not really sure how you would - as suggested - legislate against it though. It would surely be next to impossible to do.


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    #37
    Grayson
    Registered Users Posts: 16,143 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    Dr. Lollington wrote: »
    I'd safely assume most good looking woman, if not all woman, have experienced it to some extent in Ireland. I know I have.

    I've had cars beeping their horns at me and men shouting out the window. It's usually just harmless stuff 'heya gorgeous' but it's still humiliating. I know men always think they'd love it if women were shouting heya handsome at them in the street but it doesn't work that way for woman. Sometimes it's playful and I brush it off, but other times it can be quite intimidating or just plain disgusting!

    Only because it doesn't happen much therefore when it does it's flattering. If it happened all the time the novelty would wear thin an the compliment wouldn't mean as much.


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    #38
    danslevent
    Registered Users Posts: 893 ✭✭✭danslevent


    I actually started a thread about this in the Ladies Lounge recently:

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=90944861


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    #39
    marcbrophy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,432 ✭✭✭marcbrophy


    Great, so girls are taught that men will rape them the minute they have been given any bit of attention from them.

    FFS!

    Stay classy society :pac:


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    #40
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Rightwing wrote: »
    But if you were a homosexual, you may have been chuffed ?
    I don't know, I'm not a homosexual.
    But I'll go out on a limb here and say no.


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    #41
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    LeBash wrote: »
    So Irish women wear tight fitting clothes and a lot of skin on show because in December its comfortable and not to attract attention?

    Funny how I saw a lot of guys walking around topless during the summer and still didn't feel the need to shout comments at them. Let people wear what they want. Its not an invitation to shout at them.


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    #42
    AndonHandon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,384 ✭✭✭AndonHandon


    If you get a look and a smile, it's okay to say "hey", but think "you will be naked in my bed by sunset".


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    #43
    the_monkey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,556 ✭✭✭the_monkey


    OK the two guys walking alongside her was harassment sure - but "hey beautiful" ???
    which were the vast majority of the comments -
    thats harrasment ???... more aggressive feminism BULLSHÍT...


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    #44
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Funny how I saw a lot of guys walking around topless during the summer and still didn't feel the need to shout comments at them. Let people wear what they want. Its not an invitation to shout at them.

    Men are more visually triggered when it comes to arousal, nothing new there, it's why straight single women often wear revealing clothing on a night out, fake hair, pushup bras, heels to make the bum more prominent, makeup, tan etc - visual impact.

    *waits to be told that women dress that way for themselves and it has nothing, conscious or subconscious, to do with men*


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    #45
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    the_monkey wrote: »
    OK the two guys walking alongside her was harassment sure - but "hey beautiful" ???
    which were the vast majority of the comments -
    thats harrasment ???... more aggressive feminism BULLSHÍT...

    Some of the weird passive tone comments are actually the creepier ones.


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    #46
    Pat Mustard
    Registered Users Posts: 9,554 ✭✭✭Pat Mustard


    kylith wrote: »
    you can't step outside your house without people judging you on what you look like and what you wear, and feeling free to comment on that. It influences how you act and what you wear (I have clothes that I can't wear because I'm afraid of attracting comments).

    I know exactly what you mean. I can't go anywhere in my fitted 'IRA undefeated army' t-shirt without lingering stares and catcalls.

    I just feel that people are undressing me with their eyes.


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    #47
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    Men are more visually triggered when it comes to arousal, nothing new there, it's why straight single women often wear revealing clothing on a night out, fake hair, pushup bras, heels to make the bum more prominent, makeup, tan etc - visual impact.

    *waits to be told that women dress that way for themselves and it has nothing, conscious or subconscious, to do with men*

    There is nothing wrong with looking, we all do that. Its the next step, the shouting out of something, why is it some people are able to restrain themselves and others can't. Just keep it to yourself.


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    #48
    Nerdlingr
    Registered Users Posts: 4,385 ✭✭✭Nerdlingr


    Is winking at someone sexual harrassment now as well?


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    #49
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    the_monkey wrote: »
    OK the two guys walking alongside her was harassment sure - but "hey beautiful" ???
    which were the vast majority of the comments -
    thats harrasment ???... more aggressive feminism BULLSHÍT...
    I suppose if you hear it 20 times a day it kinda loses its appeal...

    I don't know if it's harassment per se, but it appears it's not welcome.


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    #50
    Chunners
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 424 ✭✭Chunners


    Yeah it does happen a bit but Irish guys aren't that bad, they usually only do it if they are in a group and it's more a "Hey whats the story?" type comment than anything sinister. Nigerian guys are the worst IMO, to them "No" doesn't mean "No", "No" means "Lets negotiate". These are the ones who will follow you, grab your arm or stand in front of you to try stop you walking away. I find them to be creepy, intimidating ****ers myself because once they start they don't stop and if you aren't close to a shop or somewhere you can duck into to get away it can be pretty scary.


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    #51
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    Men are more visually triggered when it comes to arousal, nothing new there

    We're talking about adult humans here with a supposed modicum of restraint. Not chimps or dogs in heat.


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    #52
    Shenshen
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shenshen


    green_screen wrote: »
    Are some women really freaked out by men passing comments, to the point where they won't wear certain clothes?!

    I'm female, and tbh, I couldn't give a monkeys.

    I wear whatever i feel like wearing. If it attracts comment, whatever. If it doesn't, whatever.

    I'd never be careful how I dress so as to avoid comment from men. I don't see the big deal. If they call you beautiful, say thanks. If they're creepy, tell them to fcuk off.

    And what do you do if they don't **** off?

    I have been in situations where people were following me and I was scared to actually go home so as not to show them where I lived.

    It's got little enough to do with what you wear, normally, but I do think that some kinds of clothing can aggravate it.
    So if I choose to wear something more revealing (NOT for the benefit of the random perv in the street, but because I want to wear it to a date or a party), I usually cover it up until I get where I'm going. I've got quite a wide selection of scarves at this point.


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    #53
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,562 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Whatever about it being harassment or not, the idea that the girls in question should actually be happy to receive these comments is so so silly.


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    #54
    FactCheck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 397 ✭✭FactCheck


    Does anybody posting in this thread regularly call out to women like that?

    Just wondering if not, why not?

    Why do you think the guys that do, do?

    I can't imagine wanting to engage every random passer by like that. Especially when 90+% of the time people are just going to put their heads down and try to get away from you as quickly as possible. They must know they make people feel uncomfortable.


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    #55
    caustic 1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,314 ✭✭✭caustic 1


    Wouldn't consider it harassment at all.


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    #56
    Billy86
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,495 ✭✭✭✭Billy86


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Funny how I saw a lot of guys walking around topless during the summer and still didn't feel the need to shout comments at them. Let people wear what they want. Its not an invitation to shout at them.

    I think a lot of the lopsidedness in this regard comes from the fact that the burden of approaching the other sex has genuinely been the man's. I guess the advantage is that the guy gets go "choose" who he wants to go up to, while the disadvantage is that the woman had to "accept" his offer and he is leaving himself open to rejection. I'm not saying it's necessarily right (and it's changing in recent times too), but typically it gives the guy a feeling like he has to be proactive in making anything happen.


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    #57
    KungPao
    Registered Users Posts: 4,781 ✭✭✭KungPao


    Chunners wrote: »
    Yeah it does happen a bit but Irish guys aren't that bad, they usually only do it if they are in a group and it's more a "Hey whats the story?" type comment than anything sinister. Nigerian guys are the worst to be honest, to them "No" doesn't mean "No", "No" means "Lets negotiate". These are the ones who will follow you, grab your arm or stand in front of you to try stop you walking away. I find them to be creepy, intimidating ****ers myself because once they start they don't stop and if you aren't close to a shop or somewhere you can duck into to get away it can be pretty scary.
    :eek:


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    #58
    Billy86
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,495 ✭✭✭✭Billy86


    KungPao wrote: »
    :eek:

    NAGGERS, they meant NAGGERS!





    Actually I reckon f*ckers. ;)


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    #59
    How Soon Is Now
    Registered Users Posts: 13,106 ✭✭✭✭How Soon Is Now


    I never understood this and why anyone does it.

    The last thing I'd ever do is tell a stranger how I think they look to there face on the street just leave people to get on with their day ffs.

    Ya I look obviously but sure me girlfriend does it with me haha.

    I think it comes across as very cocky as if you think your some sort of charmer.

    Bascially when I'm out on a normal day mostly the only interaction I'd have with someone would be hi or thank you or holding door open basic simple stuff. Nothing else is needed unless a conversation happens to start.

    If it was the other way around and woman came up and complimented me ya fair enough I'd probably feel good but at same time I'd feel incredibly awkward as well and would say eh thanks and laugh!


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    #60
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    anncoates wrote: »
    We're talking about adult humans here with a supposed modicum of restraint. Not chimps or dogs in heat.

    Yes I see, so women can dress in a manner which actively acts on men's primal visual buttons but if a man then passes a casual remark on same there is an issue?


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    #61
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,138 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    anncoates wrote: »
    We're talking about adult humans here with a supposed modicum of restraint. Not chimps or dogs in heat.

    This. Why any adult person thinks it's acceptable is beyond me.


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