'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

LiamSevenfold · 17-06-2012 10:30pm #1

Share your funnyest expressions / Insults.. Me and the mates wanna good laugh

Varied · 17-06-2012 10:32pm

I have a rasher(slang for vagina apparently) like a pebble dash wall.

The King of Moo · 17-06-2012 10:33pm

"You're as useless as seven Liams."

"Your ***** looks ****** and is about as much **** as a ****** with no ****** ******* and ***** ***** ************ **** ****** **** ******* all over your face."

cournioni · 17-06-2012 10:34pm

Cillit Bang wouldn't shift you.

LiamSevenfold · 17-06-2012 10:35pm

Varied wrote: »

I have a rasher(slang for vagina apparently) like a pebble dash wall.

Haha fair play on yah, Laughed at that one

admiralofthefleet · 17-06-2012 10:35pm

she has a face like a bag of broken bells

he has a gob like a burnt fence

she has an arse like a badly parked volkswagen beetle

i hope she gets cancer of the gee (robbed from my father in law; what he said about margeret thatcher)

Dr Turk Turkelton · 17-06-2012 10:37pm

A sniper wouldn't take her out...

The tide wouldn't take her out...

yermanoffthetv · 17-06-2012 10:37pm

Face like a melted welly boot

ArtyM · 17-06-2012 10:38pm

[FONT=Verdana, Technical, Times New Roman]Sticks out like dog's balls.

F**k you, and if you have any friends in America - f**k them too.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Technical, Times New Roman]Sure as there's cold **** in a dead cat.[/FONT]

mauzo · 17-06-2012 10:38pm

She has a fanny like a burst couch..

The Davestator · 17-06-2012 10:39pm

She's a face like a bulldog licking a drop of piss off a nettle.

spacecookie555 · 17-06-2012 10:39pm

She'd get up on a gusta wind dat one.

I wouldnt get up on ya ta hang a pair a curtains.

Id rather get up ona murder charge.

Prammin the sprog.

Hahahaha

The Davestator · 17-06-2012 10:39pm

A face like a box of broken drill bits...

coonecb1 · 17-06-2012 10:40pm

She has a face like a bag of mickeys

Pandora2 · 17-06-2012 10:40pm

The best part of him ran down his Mother's leg!!:eek::eek::eek:

Much to my embarassment I used this the other day!! :eek:

Sunnyisland · 17-06-2012 10:40pm

If you had two brains you be twice as stupid .

17-06-2012 10:40pm

I seem to remember this thread going on about a year ago... overheard on the train though, a woman sitting across from me on the phone, says "She's a f*ckin tin of biscuits, cans of pisses the pair of them".

Randy Anders · 17-06-2012 10:41pm

Fanny like a badly packed kebab

The Snipe · 17-06-2012 10:41pm

I'm sweating like a jewish woman going through menopause.

Cool_CM · 17-06-2012 10:41pm

"ugly as a box of burnt lego" from the Jigsaw-Girl thread a while back was a great one!

DazMarz · 17-06-2012 10:42pm

If you kicked her in the fanny, the mickeys would fall out of her.

Peetrik · 17-06-2012 10:42pm

Face like an arse chewing a wasp

Face like a melted welly

LiamSevenfold · 17-06-2012 10:42pm

These are Brilliant

haha

Sir Gallagher · 17-06-2012 10:42pm

I'm sweating like a traveller doing maths.

vicwatson · 17-06-2012 10:43pm

"If I said you were gorgeous would you swallow ten inches?"

"go, on I'd be doin you a favour"

"you've a face like a well slapped arse"

LiamSevenfold · 17-06-2012 10:43pm

Peetrik wrote: »

Face like an arse chewing a wasp

Face like a melted welly

Ahaha epic

admiralofthefleet · 17-06-2012 10:43pm

syndeyfife wrote: »

She has a fanny like a burst couch..

i left her with a fanny like a painters radio

mauzo · 17-06-2012 10:44pm

Sweating like a paedo in a barney suit

Randy Anders · 17-06-2012 10:44pm

If there was work in the bed, he'd sleep on the ground

sparks24 · 17-06-2012 10:44pm

if ya cant hide her dont ride her

if you cant lift her dont shift her

Pandora2 · 17-06-2012 10:45pm

A bear wouldn't hug ye!!

srm23 · 17-06-2012 10:45pm

She has a face like a rusty bag of hammers

LiamSevenfold · 17-06-2012 10:45pm

Sir Gallagher wrote: »

I'm sweating like a traveller doing maths.

Hilarious man hah

lotsofthegreen · 17-06-2012 10:45pm

She's got more chins than a chinese phonebook.....

Peetrik · 17-06-2012 10:45pm

Tits like two socks full of change taped to her chest

mikemac1 · 17-06-2012 10:45pm

She was so ugly that when she was a kid they had to tie meat to her ankles so the dog would play with her....

That wan, she`s had more pricks than a hedgehog

A rides is a ride, a jokes is a joke but no ride is no joke!

spacecookie555 · 17-06-2012 10:45pm

Youve a head for modelling balaclavas

kfallon · 17-06-2012 10:45pm

Wouldn't get up on her to hang wallpaper!

If I had a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't even leave her look over the back wall

She's seen more German helmets that Hitler/more Japs eyes than Pearl Harbour/more cockends than weekends

brandon_flowers · 17-06-2012 10:46pm

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i left her with a fanny like a painters radio

Its "I left her with a face like a painters radio"

"I left her with an arse like the flag of Japan"

vicwatson · 17-06-2012 10:46pm

Sweating like a catholic priest at a communion

Randy Anders · 17-06-2012 10:46pm

She'd lie in nettles for it

hairyprincess · 17-06-2012 10:47pm

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits and may your arms be too short to scratch.

He's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

He's got a head on him like a nail bar.

You're as thick as two short planks.

He's so tight he'd peel an orange in his pocket.

mikemac1 · 17-06-2012 10:47pm

She didn't get those knees from kneeling to pray

LiamSevenfold · 17-06-2012 10:47pm

Cheers everyone, Im glad to know there are still people out there that have a good sense of humour.. Keep posting

admiralofthefleet · 17-06-2012 10:47pm

kfallon wrote: »

Wouldn't get up on her to hang wallpaper!

If I had a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't even leave her look over the back wall

She's seen more German helmets that Hitler/more Japs eyes than Pearl Harbour/more cockends than weekends

if i had 13 mickeys i wouldnt give her the unlucky one

Sir Gallagher · 17-06-2012 10:47pm

Irishwomen have a dispensation from the pope to wear the thick ends of their legs downwards.

FlipperThePriest · 17-06-2012 10:48pm

If I had a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't give her a look over the back wall.

gary s · 17-06-2012 10:48pm

You have a face on you their like a bats fanny.

If I had a box of flutes I wouldn give her one of them

builttospill · 17-06-2012 10:49pm

She's that ugly that whenever she cries, the tears run down the back of her head.

Pyongyang · 17-06-2012 10:49pm

Face like a bag of lego.

Face like a bucket of smashed crabs.

Randy Anders · 17-06-2012 10:49pm

I wouldn't even poke her on facebook

'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

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