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The Fathers Thread

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,832 ✭✭✭spottybananas


    You don't find out at much at the first gp appt, more at the 12 week scan. The gp just asks what hospital/consultant you want, offers a bit of advice on that if needed, and tells you the appointment will come in the post. If you can go easily and your partner wants you to then do, but don't be going to trouble with work etc to make it there, it's quite dull :p

    I was blue in the face telling my husband he didn't have to come to the repeat 12 week scan at 15 weeks, but he went and rearranged work and had a whole hooha to be there when there was no need, I'd nearly have preferred if he has just left me to it, especially as he is the identifiable one in our couple in the small town we live in! So do whatever she wants you to do, if she wants you to go go, if she wants to go alone let her at it :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    GF is coming to the end of a high risk pregnancy. I've been to all the big scans at 12, 22 and 28 weeks. There were other scans about once a month and I was at some, missed others. Didn't go to the GP for confirmation as she had done two tests at home

    I'd go as often as possible to baby doc appointments and scans but if I'm working I don't


  • Registered Users Posts: 508 ✭✭✭Jasper79


    You don't find out at much at the first gp appt, more at the 12 week scan. The gp just asks what hospital/consultant you want, offers a bit of advice on that if needed, and tells you the appointment will come in the post. If you can go easily and your partner wants you to then do, but don't be going to trouble with work etc to make it there, it's quite dull :p

    I was blue in the face telling my husband he didn't have to come to the repeat 12 week scan at 15 weeks, but he went and rearranged work and had a whole hooha to be there when there was no need, I'd nearly have preferred if he has just left me to it, especially as he is the identifiable one in our couple in the small town we live in! So do whatever she wants you to do, if she wants you to go go, if she wants to go alone let her at it :)


    Thanks yeah it's this evening after work and i'll be picking her up to bring her anyways so kinda makes sense. Asked if she'd rather go on own but she doesn't mind so think I'll go in with her .


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,597 ✭✭✭dan1895


    My little one came two days overdue on Monday but she is worth the wait. A roller coaster of a labour where the birth plan was repeatedly thrown away as our little Madame kept changing her mind on whether she wanted to be born or not. All home and well now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,741 ✭✭✭Mousewar


    Seriously Holles St - only one toilet in the whole building for men?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,036 ✭✭✭youcancallmeal


    Mousewar wrote: »
    Seriously Holles St - only one toilet in the whole building for men?

    Yeah it's fairly ridiculous, we were about 9 hours in a labour room and I was drinking so much water I was up and down the 4 floors every half an hour!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    I think it's the same in the Rotunda... The mens toilet is on the ground floor.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,741 ✭✭✭Mousewar


    I bet BOD didn't have to put up with this. The second I close the door there's someone knocking on it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    January wrote: »
    I think it's the same in the Rotunda... The mens toilet is on the ground floor.

    I was in the Rotunda last week and they had a toilet on the second floor (that's the maturity floor, right?), one side for staff and the other a unisex I think. The door and partition looked like they were thrown together by a handy man, did the job though!

    Can't believe how close it's getting, 4 1/2 weeks at the most, can't believe it!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    I was in the Rotunda last week and they had a toilet on the second floor (that's the maturity floor, right?), one side for staff and the other a unisex I think. The door and partition looked like they were thrown together by a handy man, did the job though!

    Can't believe how close it's getting, 4 1/2 weeks at the most, can't believe it!!

    Second floor is labour and delivery to the left of the lift and NICU/Ultrasound and day unit to the right :)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Place is a maze! I went right out the lift, left at the double doors that you need to be buzzed into, then right, then left and the toilet is just on the left before the ward...

    Just in case anyone is looking :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,597 ✭✭✭dan1895


    Spent a good 19 hours in the Rotunda last week and the only men's toilet I found was on the ground floor by the waiting room.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    Place is a maze! I went right out the lift, left at the double doors that you need to be buzzed into, then right, then left and the toilet is just on the left before the ward...

    Just in case anyone is looking :D

    The double doors where you need to be buzzed in is the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. :)

    Yeah that would be where the day ward and ultrasound unit is down that way. Makes sense to have one there too really because men waiting with their parents for ultrasounds.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    We're actually in Drogheda, where they've loads of toilets :p , but had to transfer to Rotunda for a few days as they had no special care units and we thought the little fella was gonna come early.

    It was quite a scare but we're 34 weeks tomorrow and he seems to have calmed down, so here's hoping he stays put for another while :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    We're actually in Drogheda, where they've loads of toilets :p , but had to transfer to Rotunda for a few days as they had no special care units and we thought the little fella was gonna come early.

    It was quite a scare but we're 34 weeks tomorrow and he seems to have calmed down, so here's hoping he stays put for another while :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    Fingers crossed he stays put for another week or two! Hope everything is ok :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 564 ✭✭✭Skittlebrau


    Guess I belong in here now. Had an early pregnancy scan today. 8 and a half weeks so very early days. But all looked good. Heartbeat already which is apparently a good sign.

    It's our first. Just got married in August. Terrified doesn't even begin to cover it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 698 ✭✭✭hoody


    Guess I belong in here now. Had an early pregnancy scan today. 8 and a half weeks so very early days. But all looked good. Heartbeat already which is apparently a good sign.

    It's our first. Just got married in August. Terrified doesn't even begin to cover it.

    Congrats Skittlebrau, guess I belong in here too although we have only 6 weeks to wait until the new lodger arrives! Our first too, and we just got married in February.

    It's been peaks and troughs between "ah, it'll be grand" and pure terror but mostly has gone ok so far. We've had a good few scans along the way and as you say always reassuring to hear a heartbeat. Pretty much have everything ready now and will be keeping the motor topped up with diesel from here on out - work Christmas party next weekend will be it for pints. Hope all goes well for you.

    Oh, and plenty of toilets in Portiuncula (Ballinasloe).


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Anyone know what that thing is that goes on the back of a buggy for toddlers to stand is called? :/


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  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 24,118 Mod ✭✭✭✭robinph


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    Anyone know what that thing is that goes on the back of a buggy for toddlers to stand is called? :/

    Buggy board?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    That's the one! Thanks :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,339 ✭✭✭The One Doctor


    Well, the girlfriend is term on Thursday, 37 weeks. Almost everything is done. Anyone got any tips about labour/delivery? I've read lots and gone to the antenatals, it's all good stuff, but a few experiences from a dad's perspective would be very useful.


  • Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭kronsich


    Well, the girlfriend is term on Thursday, 37 weeks. Almost everything is done. Anyone got any tips about labour/delivery? I've read lots and gone to the antenatals, it's all good stuff, but a few experiences from a dad's perspective would be very useful.

    My baba is almost five months now and all going well. I found the whole labour experience really tiring and upsetting. My wife was in a lot of pain and we were in the antenatal ward for about seven hours before the labour ward. We did a yoga for birth class and this was good as I knew how to help her during contractions. Once in the labour ward, she had the epidural and gas so all was good.

    Number one tip: bring a cooler bag with food for yourself. They will feed your wife but you will go hungry as the cafe closes at 8pm and you probably won't be able to leave to get food anyway.

    I spent most of the time standing so she could lean against me during contractions. I also spoke to her during the pains. You will learn when the pains are at a peak and when they are subsiding, she liked that I told her "that's the worst part over now" etc.
    The hospital is really warm, even in winter I'd bring some light track bottoms and a jersey. Saw some lads in shirt/jeans and they looked to be suffering. Definitely a spare t shirt as you just never now. My wife had pethidine and I was into the second shirt after the first hour.

    Good luck, the labour is short but the end result is just fantastic!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,339 ✭✭✭The One Doctor


    kronsich wrote: »
    My baba is almost five months now and all going well. I found the whole labour experience really tiring and upsetting. My wife was in a lot of pain and we were in the antenatal ward for about seven hours before the labour ward. We did a yoga for birth class and this was good as I knew how to help her during contractions. Once in the labour ward, she had the epidural and gas so all was good.

    Out of curiosity, at what point did you bring your partner into the hospital, i.e, how far along were her contractions? Assuming she wasn't induced, that is.


  • Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭kronsich


    Ah we had planned to wait until she was in established labour; had the birthing ball at home and said we wouldn't go until contractions were regular and spaced under ten mins apart. However, they started at 4am and by 9am she was quite distressed. I was afraid that the journey to the hospital would be too difficult if we waited longer.

    Turned out she was not is established labour, hence the prenatal ward. Felt much safer in the hospital though so they could check her and baba.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 698 ✭✭✭hoody


    Thanks kronsich some good tips there, I'm trying to anticipate how to be helpful during the labour but I guess soothing words and a hand for squeezing are about as much as can be done!


  • Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭kronsich


    Yeah sadly there's not much you can do to help. During early labor she will want to be siting up or standing for the contractions. Let her use you for balance and keep offering water. I had a face spray and she loved that.

    Also, get a TENS machine. Absolutely a must!


  • Registered Users Posts: 491 ✭✭tempnam


    kronsich wrote: »
    Yeah sadly there's not much you can do to help. During early labor she will want to be siting up or standing for the contractions. Let her use you for balance and keep offering water. I had a face spray and she loved that.

    Also, get a TENS machine. Absolutely a must!

    We had a TENS machine, and the missus ripped it off after a couple of minutes... it was "too annoying" for her :D

    Also, be prepared to feel utterly useless! and for every single thing you do or say to be the wrong thing!! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,036 ✭✭✭youcancallmeal


    tempnam wrote: »
    We had a TENS machine, and the missus ripped it off after a couple of minutes... it was "too annoying" for her :D

    Also, be prepared to feel utterly useless! and for every single thing you do or say to be the wrong thing!! :D

    Yeah had the same experience with the tens machine, was glad we had only borrowed and not bought one. It does seem to work for some women though?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 824 ✭✭✭Kinet1c


    Mrs swore that it helped her a lot.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,831 ✭✭✭CountingCrows


    Did people with TENS machines rent them, and if so from where? I see you can rent them from Boots and online at www.babycaretens.ie, just wondering if all machines are the same or if some are better than others.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,741 ✭✭✭Mousewar


    You can rent them in the hospital. At least you can in Holles St.


  • Registered Users Posts: 486 ✭✭DUBACC


    DUBACC wrote: »
    Just found out wife is expecting number two - after losing two last year we are both petrified at the journey ahead. Hope it lasts longer than last year's pregnancies!! We have a lovely three year old who is dying to boss around a little brother or sister - hopefully third time lucky!


    Had our 12 week scan today and there was junior jumping around like a mad thing. Both of us just bawled! Doc must have thought we were nuts!


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 24,118 Mod ✭✭✭✭robinph


    Was awesome seeing the arms and legs waving around alright, just wish they had let me watch the screen for longer. Two scans done so far and back for another in the first week of January, can't wait to see the little one again.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,795 ✭✭✭CptMackey


    My wife is just after having our first. a boy.

    The feeling is unreal. Can't explain it at all.

    They get heavy while you hold them too :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Congrats!!

    We'll have our lad in 18 days if not before then :) very excited!


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,407 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    CptMackey wrote: »
    My wife is just after having our first. a boy.

    Congrats. Little boys are the best :D
    Our little fellah is 9 months old now and he never stops smiling. You have a great time ahead of you


  • Registered Users Posts: 256 ✭✭sallymomo


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    Congrats!!

    We'll have our lad in 18 days if not before then :) very excited!


    We are 5 weeks away!! Stuff just got real...

    Congrats to everyone else, hope all goes well.
    My exciting Friday night tonight is apparently packing my wifes bag for Holles Street...gulp!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,795 ✭✭✭CptMackey


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Congrats. Little boys are the best :D
    Our little fellah is 9 months old now and he never stops smiling. You have a great time ahead of you

    He is great really. He is fond of his sleep at the moment so I hope that will continue :pac:


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,407 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    CptMackey wrote: »
    He is great really. He is fond of his sleep at the moment so I hope that will continue :pac:

    Routine is the key. Forget what the HSE said about child lead feeding. It will exhaust you and has no extra benefit for the child. But yeah they sleep alot early on. Usually not when you're trying to sleep though but you learn to nap pretty quickly


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Routine is the key. Forget what the HSE said about child lead feeding. It will exhaust you and has no extra benefit for the child. But yeah they sleep alot early on. Usually not when you're trying to sleep though but you learn to nap pretty quickly

    Depends if the baby is breastfed or not.... :)

    ..... Runs away because has been caught lurking in the fathers thread... :). Congrats all you dads.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,795 ✭✭✭CptMackey


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Routine is the key. Forget what the HSE said about child lead feeding. It will exhaust you and has no extra benefit for the child. But yeah they sleep alot early on. Usually not when you're trying to sleep though but you learn to nap pretty quickly

    What's lead feeding? Baby cptmackey is being breast Fed and is starting to feed more often. Tends to be routing for the breast a lot now.
    Between that and the nappy changes we are kept busy :)

    Little raskel always pees too when I change the nappy lol


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    CptMackey wrote: »
    What's lead feeding? Baby cptmackey is being breast Fed and is starting to feed more often. Tends to be routing for the breast a lot now.
    Between that and the nappy changes we are kept busy :)

    Little raskel always pees too when I change the nappy lol

    Heya, if your OH is breastfeeding she is probably feeding on demand which is exactly right and exactly what she should be doing (if there are no other issues). Feeding on demand (or baby lead/whenever baby wants it) Is really tough and exhausting but it's usually the way breast fed babies are fed. It's not really the same for bottle fed babies who for example will get a bottle religiously every 3-4 hours. With feeding on demand, your OH could be feeding every hour or every 2-3 hours. It's whenever the baby wants it :). And it's great because the milk supply will adjust to whatever the baby wants. Congratulations :).


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,339 ✭✭✭The One Doctor


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Routine is the key. Forget what the HSE said about child lead feeding. It will exhaust you and has no extra benefit for the child.

    That depends on whether the child is breastfed or not. With bottle fed you make up a schedule, breastfed is always on demand.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,407 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    That depends on whether the child is breastfed or not. With bottle fed you make up a schedule, breastfed is always on demand.

    Nope. We did breast fed on a routine. Worked great for junior and us. I suppose every child is different though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 776 ✭✭✭seventeen sheep


    Even with bottle-feeding, it's not always a case of making up a routine. We never even attempted to, but he formed his own one really quickly. But it just depends on the baby.

    I always find it a bit funny when parents talk about putting their baby into a routine ... babies choose their own routines! No matter how much you try to influence them.

    We never attempted a routine and would have been happy to go with a baby-led approach; however our baby chose his own set bottle and nap times which he stuck to rigidly, and was sleeping through the nights from very early on. We didn't encourage that (but were delighted!)

    We might be as relaxed on the next and get a night-owl who prefers to feed sporadically.

    Or we could say we were going to have the same routine on the next, and still end up doing the baby-led approach if the baby wanted it that way.

    I think parents are giving themselves a lot of credit when they think they've created a routine for the child. I mean, what would you do, deny a newborn a feed when they look for it? Forcefeed them when they're not hungry? Ignore a child who wants attention at night time?

    I don't think many parents do those things (hopefully!), so all you're doing is what any parents does - responding to the baby's own routine. It's great if the routine is developing into a pattern, and one that happens to suit you ... but, really, it's the baby that chose it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Nope. We did breast fed on a routine. Worked great for junior and us. I suppose every child is different though.

    I "think" it's pretty rare tho to routine/block fed with breastfeeding. The only cases I have ever seen or heard of this done is when the mother is having issues with her milk supply (for example with fast let down and over supply, which may lead to feeding problems and painful engorgement). A solution to this is block or routine breast feeding. Sometimes it is used as it is deemed best for the baby aswell. But feeding on demand is what is done the majority of the time for breastfed babies with no issues as such..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    Congrats!!

    We'll have our lad in 18 days if not before then :) very excited!

    That'll show me!

    Baby born at 19.07 today, mother and baby doing well :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,339 ✭✭✭The One Doctor


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    That'll show me!

    Baby born at 19.07 today, mother and baby doing well :)

    Congrats! Any tips for labour?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Congrats! Any tips for labour?

    Change hands every so often, fingers are crushed!!

    Seriously though, just be there and talk to your partner, help with breathing, have water close by. I think being there and talking calmly was the best thing I could do. To be honest, you'll feel useless, I did and I'm sure most fathers are the same


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