Boards.ie uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Click here to find out more x
Post Reply  
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
15-04-2014, 21:07   #6241
rolliepoley
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Here there everywhere
Posts: 1,096
Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail." So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on Monday. So the two guys come back on Monday and the judge asks how they did. ''I got 17 people to get off drugs,'' says the first guy. ''Wow, how'd you do that?'' asks the judge. ''I used circles. I told them that this large circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs.''

''Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy. "I convinced 156 people to get off drugs.''

''Wow. How'd you do that?'' asked the judge.

''Well, I used circles too. I told them this small circle is your butthole before prison...''
rolliepoley is offline  
(3) thanks from:
Advertisement
Yesterday, 17:38   #6242
Mars Bar
Moderator
 
Mars Bar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Galway
Posts: 21,291
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?

HAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE
Mars Bar is offline  
(4) thanks from:
Yesterday, 17:42   #6243
I am pie
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Buenos Aires
Posts: 3,694
...and then the jury said Fitzpatrick is innocent.

Laugh? I nearly cried.
I am pie is offline  
(3) thanks from:
Yesterday, 18:00   #6244
snaphook
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 56
Al Pacino's new role sees him portray a referee at the Women's World Cup.

The working title is "Sent off a Woman"
snaphook is online now  
(3) thanks from:
Yesterday, 18:17   #6245
dolanbaker
Moderator
 
dolanbaker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Táim i mo chónaí i mBaile Átha Luain,Co.Ros Comáin
Posts: 13,945
CAMILLA'S NEW SHOES

Camilla bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tight as the day went on. That night, after the festivities were finally over, she & Charles retired back to their room. Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling, one's feet are killing one.'
Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour. But It wouldn't budge.

'Harder!' yelled Camilla.

'Harder?' Charles yelled back. 'I'm trying darling! But it's just so bloody tight!'

'Come on give it all you've got, ' she cried.

Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla exclaimed, 'Oh god, that feels so good !'

In their bedroom next door, the Queen turned to Prince Philip and said, 'See, I told you she would still be a virgin with a face like that.'

Meanwhile back in the other bedroom, Charles was attempting to remove the other shoe when he cried out, 'Oh god, darling, this one's even tighter.'
At which point Prince Philip turned and said to the Queen: 'That's my boy; once a navy man, always a navy man!'
dolanbaker is offline  
(4) thanks from:
Post Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Remove Text Formatting
Bold
Italic
Underline

Insert Image
Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
 
Decrease Size
Increase Size
Please sign up or log in to join the discussion

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Share Tweet