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'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

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Comments

  • #452
    mutley18
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,231 ✭✭✭mutley18


    I regret to inform you that your physical features are not aesthetically pleasing to my eyes.




    Burn.


  • #453
    Starscream25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,122 ✭✭✭Starscream25


    PizzamanIRL wrote: »
    Wrong forum too. LGBT is the one for you.

    I said this to a friend a while back for the Craic,needless to say I got the WTF look. Ahh funny days


  • #454
    Wanderer2010
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,742 ✭✭✭Wanderer2010


    "I wouldnt put him/her out for the rob".

    Roughly translated as she or she is so ugly nobody would look twice at them..


  • #455
    xploderz
    Registered Users Posts: 128 ✭✭xploderz


    If you can't lift her, then don't shift her. Never a truer word spoken.


  • #456
    Super hoop
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 253 ✭✭Super hoop


    She has a face like eircom broadband....in a bundle


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  • #457
    amiable
    Registered Users Posts: 12,206 ✭✭✭✭amiable


    She has a face like a plasterers radio


  • #458
    Hedgemeister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 245 ✭✭Hedgemeister


    1.'Got a face like a can of worms.' (usually said about a certain soccer pundit)

    2. Man excusing his vertically challenged, flat-headed girlfriend to his mates...'at least I have somewhere to rest my glass while she's giving me a blowjob.'


  • #459
    Feeder
    Registered Users Posts: 177 ✭✭Feeder


    He/She's a right mean f**ker.

    I saw him/her rob flies off a blind spider one day


  • #460
    aidoh
    Registered Users Posts: 620 ✭✭✭aidoh


    I'm so bursting for a piss my teeth are floating.

    He's so scabby he wouldn't give you the steam off his piss.

    I'm so hungry I'd eat the scabs off a tramps mickey.


  • #461
    The_Pretender
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 594 ✭✭✭The_Pretender


    She's a fanny on her like a stab wound in a gorillas back.

    She's a gee on her like a bulldog eatin porridge.

    I'd get up on a monday morning before I'd get up on her.

    Face like a melted welly.


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  • #462
    Tugboats
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,011 ✭✭✭Tugboats


    Fanny like a wizards sleeve


  • #463
    Starscream25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,122 ✭✭✭Starscream25


    She has a face like a builders Craic.


  • #464
    rolliepoley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,874 ✭✭✭rolliepoley


    She has lovely long curly black wavy teeth.


  • #465
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,241 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    You truly do have a face for radio!


  • #466
    padd b1975
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,782 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    Fanny like a yawning donkey.


  • #467
    maniac2000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 123 ✭✭maniac2000


    She is like the snots running from the end of your nose, you wipe them away but they keep coming back


  • #468
    smurgen
    Registered Users Posts: 6,933 ✭✭✭smurgen


    Blow me out once,shame on you,blow me out twice,shame on me!

    If in doubt, have a naggin.if still in doubt have another naggin.

    The one with the straight hair and the curly teeth.

    The one with the blue eyes,one blew east and one blew west


  • #469
    rolliepoley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,874 ✭✭✭rolliepoley


    She has a face like an elephants footprint.


  • #470
    pipelaser
    Registered Users Posts: 572 ✭✭✭pipelaser


    She could go like a fiddlers elbow


  • #471
    blade1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,460 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    She'd a fanny like a Wizards sleeve


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  • #472
    wicklowstevo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 919 ✭✭✭wicklowstevo


    that lads as useful as a cock flavoured lollipop .


  • #473
    alphabeat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 514 ✭✭✭alphabeat


    she's so ugly her lipstick wont leave the tube


  • #474
    Pug160
    Registered Users Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭Pug160


    If you had another one of those on the back of your head you could be used as a pickaxe (referring to someone with a long nose).


  • #475
    daithieoghan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭daithieoghan


    kfallon wrote: »
    It'd be like a lost pen in the Albert Hall

    Like lobbing a sausage down o'connell street


  • #476
    brandon_flowers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,657 ✭✭✭brandon_flowers


    Starscream25 wrote: »
    I'd swim upstream against a river of piss just to suck the dick of the last guy who ****ed her.............oh wait, sorry wrong thread.

    I'd drag my balls through 20 yards of broken glass just to hear her fart on the radio.

    I'd crawl through six fields of chicken **** just to lick her knickers.

    And...

    Even the saddle wouldn't go up on her.


  • #477
    Stone Deaf 4evr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭Stone Deaf 4evr


    Fingering her was like petting a rabid dog through a letterbox.


  • #478
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    I've seen better teeth on a worn out gearbox.


  • #479
    1867IE
    Registered Users Posts: 133 ✭✭1867IE


    Scania flaps.


  • #480
    1867IE
    Registered Users Posts: 133 ✭✭1867IE


    She's had more flutes in her than the National Concert Hall.


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  • #481
    Call Me Jimmy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    she has a face like an ugly woman - I am not attracted to her face


  • #482
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    She's a sense of low self esteem resulting from earlier childhood abuse.


  • #483
    Duck Soup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,996 ✭✭✭Duck Soup


    Mouth like a cow's cúnt.

    Twat like a horse's collar.


  • #484
    Festy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭Festy


    You're so ugly - you'd turn a straight bloke gay


  • #485
    blade1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,460 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    A mouth like robbers pocket


  • #486
    dj jarvis
    Registered Users Posts: 3,485 ✭✭✭dj jarvis


    she has a face like her head was on fire and someone put her out with a shovel

    and

    that girl is not suitable for soft ground


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  • #487
    gerrybbadd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    He has enough cheek for another arse


  • #488
    elmolesto
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,721 ✭✭✭elmolesto


    I'm sweating like a paedophile in a Barney suit


  • #489
    zcorpian88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,515 ✭✭✭zcorpian88


    I'm sweating like Fritzel on Cribs

    You couldn't bate eggs with a whisk: Usually used after receiving a physical threat

    She could ate an apple through a letterbox!


  • #490
    Fiery biscuits
    Registered Users Posts: 53 ✭✭Fiery biscuits


    She had more fingers in her than a bowling ball


  • #491
    simongurnick
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,919 ✭✭✭simongurnick


    Sweating like an Israeli bus driver.


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  • #492
    poeticseraphim
    Closed Accounts Posts: 930 ✭✭✭poeticseraphim


    This thread makes me hate humans.


  • #493
    dj jarvis
    Registered Users Posts: 3,485 ✭✭✭dj jarvis


    poeticseraphim wrote: »
    This thread makes me hate humans.

    thats not a vey funny one - must try harder


  • #494
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,499 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    That fella has a mouth like a burst slipper !


  • #495
    Kenjataimu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,429 ✭✭✭Kenjataimu


    Ya wouldn't wanna be buying her by the pound!


  • #496
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    She's such a sour yoke that if she swallowed an orange she'd shìt out a lemon.


  • #497
    daveyeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 774 ✭✭✭daveyeh


    She's as sexy as a sh1te in a tutu

    Cock breath

    Dick stink


  • #498
    bnt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,031 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    She's such an unpleasant person, even her plants won't talk to her ... more rides than a seaside donkey, more miles on her clock than a London taxi. :eek:

    Death has this much to be said for it:
    You don’t have to get out of bed for it.
    Wherever you happen to be
    They bring it to you—free.

    — Kingsley Amis



  • #499
    Johnny Drama_11
    Registered Users Posts: 280 ✭✭Johnny Drama_11


    The sea wouldn't give her a wave.


  • #500
    Warper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭Warper


    Ive seen better legs in a Snack Box


  • #501
    The Plank
    Registered Users Posts: 12 ✭The Plank


    That wind would blow a traveller off his sister!


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