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Comments

  • #1202
    IrishSkyBoxer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 269 ✭✭IrishSkyBoxer


    IrishSkyBoxer wrote: »
    I have had a long battle with alcohol over the past number of years, sort of started cutting back the last few years but still had relapses.

    Tomorrow I will be exactly one year sober. The longest period of sobriety I have ever endured. What an achievement. There was a couple of years in my life when I was drunk more times in the week than sober. In some regards it means everything to me, in others it means nothing. I don't ever want a drink again. Life is too good without it.

    I have honestly never felt better in every single facet of my life -mentally, physically, emotionally. I can put my hand on my heart and say that I truly love life and love waking up every single day. Breaking free from the curse of alcohol has been the greatest gift I have ever given myself.

    Rather poignantly, tomorrow I will also be starting my final year medicine exams. There was a period initially when I started the course that I might not make it through, predominantly due to too much partying and not enough studying. Thankfully I hit the drink on the head and turned things around. Fingers crossed that I pass, I will be a doctor in a few short weeks. Not a bad way to start the rest of my life, substance free. Your prayers would be appreciated.

    Exams all passed! Happy days, let life begin!
    13 months strong and the last 13 months have been the best of my life, without a shadow of a doubt!

    Re: buying drinks for drinkers. I often head out with the lads, and they would tend to buy me a lucozade or two. Often they wouldn't expect me to buy a drink back, but I would tend to buy whatever lad bought me a lucozade maybe one drink back, but would never buy a round of drinks for anyone or a group.

    I actually met the girlfriends parents last week for the first time. I had no problem buying them both drinks when we were out but I suppose it's a bit different as I was staying in their house for a few days.

    I would never have a problem buying the girlfriend drink when we are out, not that she would expect me to though.

    That specific situation you described above... I'd tell that bird to go ram it.


  • #1203
    marienbad
    Registered Users Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭marienbad


    IrishSkyBoxer wrote: »
    Exams all passed! Happy days, let life begin!
    13 months strong and the last 13 months have been the best of my life, without a shadow of a doubt!

    Re: buying drinks for drinkers. I often head out with the lads, and they would tend to buy me a lucozade or two. Often they wouldn't expect me to buy a drink back, but I would tend to buy whatever lad bought me a lucozade maybe one drink back, but would never buy a round of drinks for anyone or a group.

    I actually met the girlfriends parents last week for the first time. I had no problem buying them both drinks when we were out but I suppose it's a bit different as I was staying in their house for a few days.

    I would never have a problem buying the girlfriend drink when we are out, not that she would expect me to though.

    That specific situation you described above... I'd tell that bird to go ram it.

    What a great story !! Delighted for you .

    As for buying drinks , it is rare enough that I am in that position these days but If I am I usually stay on my own or buy just the one round but most of my friends refuse.


  • #1204
    Howshocowpownw
    Closed Accounts Posts: 106 ✭✭Howshocowpownw


    7 hours.


  • #1205
    souls
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭souls


    100 days today!


  • #1206
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,439 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    21 months today


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  • #1207
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    xzanti wrote: »
    21 months today

    Great work on yourself xzanti, It was great the way you really committed yourself to battling on and beating this addiction down, Keep doing what you're doing - it's working!
    Congratulations!


  • #1208
    Kunkka
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 793 ✭✭✭Kunkka


    xzanti wrote: »
    21 months today

    Well done you! :D


  • #1209
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,439 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    Thanks so much guys :) it's great to have your support!!


  • #1210
    quinrea01
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭quinrea01


    xzanti wrote: »
    Thanks so much guys :) it's great to have your support!!
    Support you deserve. Very well done.


  • #1211
    IrishSkyBoxer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 269 ✭✭IrishSkyBoxer


    Came across this poem recently, really enjoyed it. Not sure is it from AA book or somewhere else.

    I am your Disease

    You know who I am, you’ve called me your friend. Wishes of misery and heartache I send. I want only to see that you’re brought to your knees... I’m the devil inside you, I am your disease.

    I’ll invade all your thoughts, I’ll take hostage your soul. I’ll become your new master, in total control. I’ll maim your emotions, I’ll run the whole game. Till your entire existence is crippled with shame. When you call me I come, sometimes in disguise. Quite often I’ll take you by total surprise. But take you I will, and just as you’ve feared. I’ll want only to hurt you, with no mercy spared. If you have your own family, Ill see its destroyed. I’ll steal every pleasure in life you’ve enjoyed. I’ll not only hurt you, I’ll kill if I please. I’m your worst living nightmare, I am your disease.

    I bring self destruction, but still you can’t tell. I’ll sweep you through heaven, then drop you in hell. I’ll chase you forever, wherever you go. And then when I catch you, you won’t even know. I’ll sometimes lay silent, just waiting to strike. What’s yours becomes mine, cuz I take what I like. I’ll take all you own and I won’t care who sees. I’m your constant companion… I am your disease.

    If you have any honor, I’ll strip it away. You’ll lose all your hope and forget how to pray. I’ll leave you in darkness, while blindly you stare. I’ll reduce you to nothing, and won’t even care. So, don’t take for granted my powers sublime. I’ll bend and I’ll break you, time after time. I’ll crumble your world with the greatest of ease. I’m that madman inside you…I am your disease.

    But today I’m real angry…you want to know why?I let all in recovery, entirely slip by. How did I lose you? Where did I go wrong? One minute I had you…then next you were gone. You just can’t dismiss all the good times we’ve shared. When you were alone…wasn’t it I who appeared? When you sold those possessions you knew you would need. Wasn’t I the first one who stepped in and agreed. Now look at you bastards, you’re all thinking clear. You escaped with your lives when you found your way here. Only fools think they’re winners when admitting defeat. It’s what you must say when you’re claiming that seat. Go ahead and surrender, if that’s what you choose. But, I’m not giving up. cuz I can’t stand to lose. So stand in your groups and support hand in hand. Better choices will save you…leaving me to be damned. Well, be damned all you people seeking treatment each week. Be damned inner strength, however unique. Be damned all your sayings, be damned your cliches. Be damned every addict, who back to me strays. For I know it will happen, I’ve seen it before. Those who love misery will crawl back for more. So take comfort in knowing, I’m waiting right here. But next time around, you’d just better beware. You think that you’re stronger or smarter this time. There isn’t a mountain or hill you can’t climb. Well if that’s what you’re thinkin, you ain’t learned a thing. I’ll still knock you silly if you step back in my ring.

    But you say you’ve surrendered, so what can I do?It’s so sad in a way, I had big plans for you. Creating your nightmare for me was a dream. I’m sure gonna miss you…we made quite a team. So please don’t forget me, I won’t forget youI’ll stand by your side watching all that you do. I’m ready and waiting, so call if you please. I won’t let you forget me…I am your disease


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  • #1212
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Great poem/story Irishboxer,I have seen a few different versions of it over the years, As far as I know it was written by number
    1198 anonymous
    Illinois dept of corrections
    Dwight woman,s prison

    I know i am putting it mildly but she was sure in a reflective mood.


  • #1213
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    A few years ago when I was starting out on this journey I was so intrigued by this I had to google it and read more. Came across this book.



    http://www.amazon.com/Am-Your-Disease-Faces-Addiction/dp/1598006991

    Compelling, provocative stories of Addiction and Loss

    "Mom, nobody wakes up one day and decides to be an addict." The stories contained in this book are about people from every walk of life, socioeconomic levels, religious and ethnic backgrounds whose lives were intertwined with people who didn't "decide to be an addict."

    They all share one common bond - living with, and loving an addicted person.
    Contained within the pages of this book are stories by bereaved parents who have suffered the ultimate loss: The loss of their precious child.

    Read how addiction, whether it be drugs, alcohol or gambling, destroys not only the addicted person, but their entire circle of friends and family.

    No one escapes the tentacles of addiction. Like an octopus it reaches its deadly arms around us and squeezes the very life out of all of us. Our society is affected in ways we never imagined.

    Read excerpts from middle school students on the peer pressures they face today.

    They all share one common bond - living with, and loving an addicted person.


  • #1214
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    xzanti wrote: »
    Thanks so much guys :) it's great to have your support!!
    Really well done. I would be interested to hear how you have reached this ahcievement if you were willing to share it here?


  • #1215
    Corvo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,704 ✭✭✭Corvo


    A couple of points that stick out in the last few posts.

    Anxiety - Its what originally drove me to constant drinking and the description of weekends turning into weeks and weeks into years is so very apt. I would urge those that suffer from anxiety to try and take a step back, realise how you feel and then say to yourself "I am gonna get help for this" and avoid alcohol.

    Detox - Ger brought up a question about how he is still feeling quite unwell. Up until recently, I did a five week stint off the drink. I felt fantastic in the first two to three weeks and my diet was fantastic. My alcohol counseller who also specialises in nutrition couldnt believe how well I was eating (I always did even whilst drinking too) and I really pushed myself exercising. I was really starting to enjoy life. Unfortunately I then hit a dip, where I became terribly sick and following three courses of anti-biotics and no sign of it abating, I finally caved and went back drinking. So my advice (not that I am the most educated of posters on this matter) is to keep going. Just fight through that pain and it will finally go, dont do what I did.

    So yes - as any poster that may check my post history here can probably tell - I'm trying again. Current stopwatch says I havent drank in two days. All I can do is try again and hope that this time I can keep going.

    Best of luck to all other posters.


  • #1216
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Corvo wrote: »
    A couple of points that stick out in the last few posts.

    Anxiety - Its what originally drove me to constant drinking and the description of weekends turning into weeks and weeks into years is so very apt. I would urge those that suffer from anxiety to try and take a step back, realise how you feel and then say to yourself "I am gonna get help for this" and avoid alcohol.

    Detox - Ger brought up a question about how he is still feeling quite unwell. Up until recently, I did a five week stint off the drink. I felt fantastic in the first two to three weeks and my diet was fantastic. My alcohol counseller who also specialises in nutrition couldnt believe how well I was eating (I always did even whilst drinking too) and I really pushed myself exercising. I was really starting to enjoy life. Unfortunately I then hit a dip, where I became terribly sick and following three courses of anti-biotics and no sign of it abating, I finally caved and went back drinking. So my advice (not that I am the most educated of posters on this matter) is to keep going. Just fight through that pain and it will finally go, dont do what I did.

    So yes - as any poster that may check my post history here can probably tell - I'm trying again. Current stopwatch says I havent drank in two days. All I can do is try again and hope that this time I can keep going.

    Best of luck to all other posters.

    Best of luck


  • #1217
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,439 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    KeefF wrote: »
    Really well done. I would be interested to hear how you have reached this ahcievement if you were willing to share it here?

    I just decided I'd had enough KeefF, woke up one morning and felt like today was the day :) went out and bought the Allen Carr book as per a recommendation I had seen here... and I haven't looked back.

    One tool that I do use quite a lot also is my gratitude list.. When I decided to give up I began a list of the things I wanted to change about myself and as time has gone by I have ticked them all off and I keep adding new things that I have noticed changing for the better.

    It's a great help to me if I find myself feeling hard done by or that I'm missing out on the fun.

    Best of luck to everyone.


  • #1218
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    xzanti wrote: »
    I just decided I'd had enough KeefF, woke up one morning and felt like today was the day :) went out and bought the Allen Carr book as per a recommendation I had seen here... and I haven't looked back.

    One tool that I do use quite a lot also is my gratitude list.. When I decided to give up I began a list of the things I wanted to change about myself and as time has gone by I have ticked them all off and I keep adding new things that I have noticed changing for the better.

    It's a great help to me if I find myself feeling hard done by or that I'm missing out on the fun.

    Best of luck to everyone.

    I'm so grateful for that advice I can't even put it in to words. It came at i very interesting time too because I was feeling the best I've felt in ages so ibooked an appointment with my doctor to tell her how my life was starting to get better (her request) so I went to show her and maybe get some advice on how to keep this up.

    Anyway I was in the waiting room in high spirits when all of a sudden I had a fully blow panic attack. Like the on had years ago when I was taking hard drugs.
    I didn't think these would happen anymore seeing as im 7 weeks sober myself but this attack was intense, so much so that i walked out of the waiting room without seeing the doc.

    So I took a couple of tablets to calm myself down and it worked.

    My question is, did I do the right thing? Alcohol is my problem but tablets do help. I feel bad for talkin them but I feel better because of them. Bit of a catch 22. Any help would be really appreciated coz i feel I've taken 10 steps forward and 4 steps back. Mucho grasias
    Edit: That reply was meant for corvo..


  • #1219
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    xzanti wrote: »
    I just decided I'd had enough KeefF, woke up one morning and felt like today was the day :) went out and bought the Allen Carr book as per a recommendation I had seen here... and I haven't looked back.

    One tool that I do use quite a lot also is my gratitude list.. When I decided to give up I began a list of the things I wanted to change about myself and as time has gone by I have ticked them all off and I keep adding new things that I have noticed changing for the better.

    It's a great help to me if I find myself feeling hard done by or that I'm missing out on the fun.

    Best of luck to everyone.
    I have that book and must read it again. I have been doing the AA thing but keep sliding every couple of months for 24-48 hours. I had started work with a sponsor but they drank last weekend - cue my feeble excuse to drink. Maybe AA not for me? Maybe spiritual side of it - gratitude etc is the best route?


  • #1220
    Kunkka
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 793 ✭✭✭Kunkka


    KeefF wrote: »
    I have that book and must read it again. I have been doing the AA thing but keep sliding every couple of months for 24-48 hours. I had started work with a sponsor but they drank last weekend - cue my feeble excuse to drink. Maybe AA not for me? Maybe spiritual side of it - gratitude etc is the best route?

    How long was your sponsor off drink?


  • #1221
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Kunkka wrote: »
    How long was your sponsor off drink?

    couple of years.
    In hindsight maybe he didn't have enough time but he was the first person to really offer to help me in AA.


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  • #1222
    Kunkka
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 793 ✭✭✭Kunkka


    KeefF wrote: »
    couple of years.
    In hindsight maybe he didn't have enough time but he was the first person to really offer to help me in AA.

    Irresponsible on his part and not yours. I wouldn't throw in the towel at all just put it down as an experience KeefF. It's kept me off drink for nearly 3 years and I was a suicidal mess.

    I can honestly say with the help of people in AA I've never been happier at any point in my life and I can deal with life now without having to get out of my head.

    I wish you the best as I can only imagine how tough something like that is this early in sobriety.


  • #1223
    Bill Lee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29 ✭Bill Lee


    GerB40 wrote: »
    My question is, did I do the right thing? Alcohol is my problem but tablets do help. I feel bad for talkin them but I feel better because of them. Bit of a catch 22. Any help would be really appreciated coz i feel I've taken 10 steps forward and 4 steps back. Mucho grasias
    Edit: That reply was meant for corvo..

    Ger, I know you're addressing Corvo, but my own two cents: my doc once said he'd much rather I was on Xanax than on alcohol. And from experience, I agree with him. If you are not drinking and you are sleeping and eating well and getting exercise than any anti-anxiety meds should work well for you and I see absolutely nothing wrong in taking them when needed. Also, you haven't been off booze that long, your brain is probably still recovering so I wouldn't worry that you had a panic attack.
    I used Etizolam to help with my alcohol withdrawals and have used them at a low dose since. In time I hope to reduce my intake down and be at a point when I only use them in an emergency. But I'm not going to rush it. I'm almost 5 weeks sober. But I was boozing daily for pretty much 24 months. Which is over 100 weeks. So really my sober life is at an embryonic stage. And if I have to take some meds to get through the day, I will.
    If you're sensible enough to kick the booze, you should be sensible enough to use meds in a responsible way.


  • #1224
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Kunkka wrote: »
    Irresponsible on his part and not yours. I wouldn't throw in the towel at all just put it down as an experience KeefF. It's kept me off drink for nearly 3 years and I was a suicidal mess.

    I can honestly say with the help of people in AA I've never been happier at any point in my life and I can deal with life now without having to get out of my head.

    I wish you the best as I can only imagine how tough something like that is this early in sobriety.

    Thanks


  • #1225
    KeefF
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    KeefF wrote: »
    Thanks

    I have my monthly session with a counsellor today. Last night I felt compelled to sit down a write down a Gratitude list for myself - driven by what Realies as has said in other posts. I do genuinely realsie the importance of gratitude and regularly pray for the gift of gratitude and acceptance. The gratitude list has about 15 items which individually may not have seemed important to me but together they certainly amount to a lot to be grateful for.
    My plan is to keep plugging away at AA but to get 3 months solid sobriety under my belt driven by sharing and more integration with people in AA and finding myself in there. I spend a lot of the time running around with work, meetings, gym, meditating,praying - trying to get up really early to manage all this and feeling pretty overwhelmed. But I think I need to find a way to make it work better for me such as going to local meetings at weekends as opposed to dragging myself into town. Need to find a bit more time for proper meditation also and enlarging the spiritual side of things.
    I also jotted down for myself what drives me to drink at weekends - loneliness, need to belong, trying to fit in, feeling isolated when sober and I only get validation when drinking etc. I need to identify people, places and situtations that make me feel that way and address them - therefore further change is required. Plus I need to pick up the phone and ask for help when these feelings come on me and push through them. I need to learn from my experiences of last weekend and not put my sobriety solely in the hands of another but to clearly understand that if I continue to drink I will never be happy or content. I will always be torturing myself mentally and chasing my tail. Time to move on.


  • #1226
    Kunkka
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 793 ✭✭✭Kunkka


    Well Keef you certainly know what you need to do.

    If you lose all your money, don't drink. If you lose your job, don't drink. If your partner sleeps with the postman, don't drink. If you sleep with the postman, don't drink! Whatever happens you know drink isn't for you and you know that it will only make a bad situation much worse while drawing you in to more self hatred and oblivion. You wouldn't be making this effort otherwise, ALWAYS remember that. You'd just be kidding yourself going back there and there is nothing worse then lying to yourself as that leads to more self loathing which leads to more depressing drinking. When this is realized we are on the road to beating booze.

    Being truthful like anyone who enjoyed drink at some stage I can miss it at times. Who wouldn't when we clearly enjoyed it so much? The key is I know where it brought me in the end and I've seen too many people go back out there who have gotten much much worse or who have succumbed to suicide. I'm not gambling with the life I have today, that's for sure.


  • #1227
    Corvo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,704 ✭✭✭Corvo


    Hey Ger,

    First of all, I hope you were able to go back to the doctors and that all was ok.

    I wanted to take my time to think about your post and my own reply and hopefully through my own experiences you might be able to find some comfort. I can only tell you what happened to me with regards pills and medication but it’s not too dissimilar.

    A while back I was referred to the company doctor/GP following a particular stressful period in work and where to deal with that stress, I drank large amounts in order to quell it. Of course this didn’t actually help the stress. I would spend nights awake, night after night, in a state of panic over work. So alcohol caused me to knockout and in that I found some relaxation in that I didn’t spend the best part of 8 hours staring into darkness with my own troubled thoughts. (I would usually sleep between 11pm and midnight and then be awake for the rest until it was time to get up)

    The company GP addressed my heavy drinking first of all and then prescribed sleeping pills and of course the old store board family favourite – Xanex, for anxiety and to keep me calm (my temper at this time was bordering on violent). I began to take these as shown and also the alcohol was stopped completely. As I mentioned before, I began to live life. Things were fine.

    During this period, I was also referred to an addiction counsellor and a self-harm counsellor, both of whom I see on a weekly basis on the same day (imagine talking about yourself for that long!  )

    Bear with me, I’m getting to my point.

    Both counsellors, but especially the addiction counsellor, were shocked to learn that I was taking Xanex – but were furious I was taking sleeping pills. The message from the addiction counsellor was one of “It’s all well and good that the company GP has prescribed you this, but he won’t have to deal with you when you return with no alcohol addiction but one to Xanex, sleeping pills or anyone of the Benzo family”…..and you know something, they were right. I referred to my own family GP (who has treated me since 4 years of age) and he too was furious.

    I stopped taking both immediately and set about finding other ways to induce a healthy sleep at night and ways to reduce my anxiety, which are as follows and I hope are of some help –

    * Early to bed – early rise

    * Daily and high intensity exercise – I found that between 6am and 8amsuited me best – this was particularly good for both sleep but great for anxiety – plus you never know who you might meet out jogging etc.

    * Healthy balanced diet

    * Camomile tea at night time

    * I kept a diary of my thoughts – it does not need to be Shakespeare but its great to get them out – it helped me calm down. Personally, mine reads like Damien 666’s diary – which remind me, I must burn it before the men in the white coats come for me!

    * I suffer from very bad social anxiety when I do not have alcohol in me – so I intentionally asked mates to force me into social situations. At that stage I thought what did I have to lose – so I asked girls on dates and even though I was a nervous wreck – I gave it my best. I figured the worst that could happen was that I would faint!

    What I am trying to get to is – please do seek as many opinions on the matter as you can and please do try to overcome these obstacles without the use of pills. I know I can now – once I overcome the alcohol – but you have already done that. Educate yourself as best you can Ger and choose what is right for YOU and not what the GP just thinks is right for YOU. Respect their opinion and evaluate.

    Anyway, I hope a section of my own story has helped. Apologies for the bible-like block of text.

    I wish you the best.


  • #1228
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    Corvo wrote: »
    Hey Ger,

    First of all, I hope you were able to go back to the doctors and that all was ok.

    I wanted to take my time to think about your post and my own reply and hopefully through my own experiences you might be able to find some comfort. I can only tell you what happened to me with regards pills and medication but it’s not too dissimilar.

    A while back I was referred to the company doctor/GP following a particular stressful period in work and where to deal with that stress, I drank large amounts in order to quell it. Of course this didn’t actually help the stress. I would spend nights awake, night after night, in a state of panic over work. So alcohol caused me to knockout and in that I found some relaxation in that I didn’t spend the best part of 8 hours staring into darkness with my own troubled thoughts. (I would usually sleep between 11pm and midnight and then be awake for the rest until it was time to get up)

    The company GP addressed my heavy drinking first of all and then prescribed sleeping pills and of course the old store board family favourite – Xanex, for anxiety and to keep me calm (my temper at this time was bordering on violent). I began to take these as shown and also the alcohol was stopped completely. As I mentioned before, I began to live life. Things were fine.

    During this period, I was also referred to an addiction counsellor and a self-harm counsellor, both of whom I see on a weekly basis on the same day (imagine talking about yourself for that long!  )

    Bear with me, I’m getting to my point.

    Both counsellors, but especially the addiction counsellor, were shocked to learn that I was taking Xanex – but were furious I was taking sleeping pills. The message from the addiction counsellor was one of “It’s all well and good that the company GP has prescribed you this, but he won’t have to deal with you when you return with no alcohol addiction but one to Xanex, sleeping pills or anyone of the Benzo family”…..and you know something, they were right. I referred to my own family GP (who has treated me since 4 years of age) and he too was furious.

    I stopped taking both immediately and set about finding other ways to induce a healthy sleep at night and ways to reduce my anxiety, which are as follows and I hope are of some help –

    * Early to bed – early rise

    * Daily and high intensity exercise – I found that between 6am and 8amsuited me best – this was particularly good for both sleep but great for anxiety – plus you never know who you might meet out jogging etc.

    * Healthy balanced diet

    * Camomile tea at night time

    * I kept a diary of my thoughts – it does not need to be Shakespeare but its great to get them out – it helped me calm down. Personally, mine reads like Damien 666’s diary – which remind me, I must burn it before the men in the white coats come for me!

    * I suffer from very bad social anxiety when I do not have alcohol in me – so I intentionally asked mates to force me into social situations. At that stage I thought what did I have to lose – so I asked girls on dates and even though I was a nervous wreck – I gave it my best. I figured the worst that could happen was that I would faint!

    What I am trying to get to is – please do seek as many opinions on the matter as you can and please do try to overcome these obstacles without the use of pills. I know I can now – once I overcome the alcohol – but you have already done that. Educate yourself as best you can Ger and choose what is right for YOU and not what the GP just thinks is right for YOU. Respect their opinion and evaluate.

    Anyway, I hope a section of my own story has helped. Apologies for the bible-like block of text.

    I wish you the best.

    Wow. I can't put into words how grateful I am for that immensely helpful and insightful reply. I've read that post a couple of times and I'll have to read it a few more so I can properly articulate how helpful it was. Until then all I can say is thanks..


  • #1229
    hubba
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Corvo wrote: »
    Hey Ger,

    First of all, I hope you were able to go back to the doctors and that all was ok.

    I wanted to take my time to think about your post and my own reply and hopefully through my own experiences you might be able to find some comfort. I can only tell you what happened to me with regards pills and medication but it’s not too dissimilar.

    A while back I was referred to the company doctor/GP following a particular stressful period in work and where to deal with that stress, I drank large amounts in order to quell it. Of course this didn’t actually help the stress. I would spend nights awake, night after night, in a state of panic over work. So alcohol caused me to knockout and in that I found some relaxation in that I didn’t spend the best part of 8 hours staring into darkness with my own troubled thoughts. (I would usually sleep between 11pm and midnight and then be awake for the rest until it was time to get up)

    The company GP addressed my heavy drinking first of all and then prescribed sleeping pills and of course the old store board family favourite – Xanex, for anxiety and to keep me calm (my temper at this time was bordering on violent). I began to take these as shown and also the alcohol was stopped completely. As I mentioned before, I began to live life. Things were fine.

    During this period, I was also referred to an addiction counsellor and a self-harm counsellor, both of whom I see on a weekly basis on the same day (imagine talking about yourself for that long!  )

    Bear with me, I’m getting to my point.

    Both counsellors, but especially the addiction counsellor, were shocked to learn that I was taking Xanex – but were furious I was taking sleeping pills. The message from the addiction counsellor was one of “It’s all well and good that the company GP has prescribed you this, but he won’t have to deal with you when you return with no alcohol addiction but one to Xanex, sleeping pills or anyone of the Benzo family”…..and you know something, they were right. I referred to my own family GP (who has treated me since 4 years of age) and he too was furious.

    I stopped taking both immediately and set about finding other ways to induce a healthy sleep at night and ways to reduce my anxiety, which are as follows and I hope are of some help –

    * Early to bed – early rise

    * Daily and high intensity exercise – I found that between 6am and 8amsuited me best – this was particularly good for both sleep but great for anxiety – plus you never know who you might meet out jogging etc.

    * Healthy balanced diet

    * Camomile tea at night time

    * I kept a diary of my thoughts – it does not need to be Shakespeare but its great to get them out – it helped me calm down. Personally, mine reads like Damien 666’s diary – which remind me, I must burn it before the men in the white coats come for me!

    * I suffer from very bad social anxiety when I do not have alcohol in me – so I intentionally asked mates to force me into social situations. At that stage I thought what did I have to lose – so I asked girls on dates and even though I was a nervous wreck – I gave it my best. I figured the worst that could happen was that I would faint!

    What I am trying to get to is – please do seek as many opinions on the matter as you can and please do try to overcome these obstacles without the use of pills. I know I can now – once I overcome the alcohol – but you have already done that. Educate yourself as best you can Ger and choose what is right for YOU and not what the GP just thinks is right for YOU. Respect their opinion and evaluate.

    Anyway, I hope a section of my own story has helped. Apologies for the bible-like block of text.

    I wish you the best.

    Great post, thanks.


  • #1230
    Ed The Equalizer
    Registered Users Posts: 577 ✭✭✭Ed The Equalizer


    Yes, great post Corvo.

    For those not yet sold on the benefits of exercise, I'd recommend this book:

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Spark-revolutionary-science-exercise-brain/dp/1849161577


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  • #1231
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    Wow, even as I write this it's with some sense of disbelief but today marks my 50th day sober... I feel fantastic and more importantly, I feel determined to stay sober for another 50 days.
    Now I'm in no way qualified to council those who are starting (or considering starting) a new life without drink but if I could give advice to them I would say just f*ckin go for it.
    Those first tentative steps are the hardest. You'll feel like shít, you'll feel empty, you'll feel a lot of bad things but if you're mentally determined to quit the drink these won't matter because, as I recently found out, we all have an inner strength that drinking will convince you doesn't exist.
    When you're system is free from all the toxic shyte the difference is astonishing. I took the advice of several boardsies on this very thread and started exercising. All I can say is thank you folks. The advice I've received has been magic and I'll forever be in debt to you all..

    Here's to another 50 days!!!


  • #1232
    quinrea01
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭quinrea01


    GerB40 wrote: »
    Wow, even as I write this it's with some sense of disbelief but today marks my 50th day sober... I feel fantastic and more importantly, I feel determined to stay sober for another 50 days.
    Now I'm in no way qualified to council those who are starting (or considering starting) a new life without drink but if I could give advice to them I would say just f*ckin go for it.
    Those first tentative steps are the hardest. You'll feel like shít, you'll feel empty, you'll feel a lot of bad things but if you're mentally determined to quit the drink these won't matter because, as I recently found out, we all have an inner strength that drinking will convince you doesn't exist.
    When you're system is free from all the toxic shyte the difference is astonishing. I took the advice of several boardsies on this very thread and started exercising. All I can say is thank you folks. The advice I've received has been magic and I'll forever be in debt to you all..

    Here's to another 50 days!!!
    Congrats and very well done to you. You describe very well the difficulties and discomforts in the early recovery days. I reckon that if you can muddle through the initial couple of months without being tempted to take up a drink you are half way there. Persistence, in my opinion, is the key to success: a determination that no matter what the day brings, you will refuse, point blank, to give in to temptation. Exercise and a proper diet, along with plenty of rest are also great supports, especially in the early days. Keep up the good work and best wishes to you and all out there in your quest for a better and sober life.


  • #1233
    Ed The Equalizer
    Registered Users Posts: 577 ✭✭✭Ed The Equalizer


    5 years, keep going everyone :)


  • #1234
    enoughalready
    Closed Accounts Posts: 219 ✭✭enoughalready


    200 Days! Feeling more self sure and confident as the days go by. Rarely think about drink, I have totally accepted I just can't. At the stage where everything is rosy and I could easily say, well one drink would be okay, sure what harm? But I know that it just isn't an option for me and I am okay with that. Once you accept something you can move forward and move onto bigger and better things.

    Drinking now would only be a negative for me, it would never be a positive so why bother. Feeling stronger than ever before!


  • #1235
    Jimmy Garlic
    Registered Users Posts: 4,349 ✭✭✭Jimmy Garlic


    enoughalready wrote: »
    At the stage where everything is rosy and I could easily say, well one drink would be okay, sure what harm?

    An easy trap to fall into. Fell into it myself a few times with predictable results. Weddings etc are the things that trip me up. I gave up the drink entirely on my own and very few know I have a problem with it so people still buy me drinks or kind of force it on me at social events "ah go on, you will have a pint" "are you sick" that kind of thing. My solution now is to make excuses and avoid places where alcohol is served. Not at all an ideal solution, but it works for me. Don't give in to temptation, best of luck.


  • #1236
    Sober Too
    Registered Users Posts: 37 ✭Sober Too


    20 years and 42 days , yes IT was a memorable day to stop,

    Good Luck to any wanting out and I mean it, and I`ve done it.


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  • #1237
    Mickey Dazzler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 586 ✭✭✭Mickey Dazzler


    One year off the Booze... (last week)...

    I feel good and chuffed I've gotten this far... there was a lot of stops and starts over the years....

    I can't say its all been plain sailing..... its a big change. I only realise how much my life revolved around the juice until it was gone. I feel a bit lost a lot of the time....

    I hear after two years things become clearer...... heres to another year..


  • #1238
    JonBon27
    Registered Users Posts: 95 ✭✭JonBon27


    I gave up drinking for 2 years starting on March 3rd 2012, I really needed the break and to re-evaluate my life and feelings around alcohol as before then it was all getting on top of me and too much.

    Have to say that now when I go out if its an event where I dont have the car i'll have a few shandys and thats all. I do enjoy them and stuck to them when on my stag a few weeks back. Its different for everyone and this works for me.

    I dont have the urges any longer to get smashed drunk and be hungover. I know before I gave up I was on a serious path to self destruction but the break and getting my life and head straight really helped.

    Anyway I do enjoy reading the stories on this site of people giving abstaining from alcohol a go and fair play to those who stay off it. The journey is different for everyone and your life is yours to decide how you want to live and approach it.

    Best of luck to all!!!


  • #1239
    quinrea01
    Registered Users Posts: 131 ✭✭quinrea01


    Sober Too wrote: »
    20 years and 42 days , yes IT was a memorable day to stop,

    Good Luck to any wanting out and I mean it, and I`ve done it.
    Coming up to eleven sober years myself and never regretted a second of my decision to reclaim my life. Well done Sober Too and I know you will agree with me when I say there is no intention by either of us for being smug or condescending. We simply wish success and happy and prolonged lives to all out there who make the decision to finally break free. Success to all.


  • #1240
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    JonBon27 wrote: »
    I gave up drinking for 2 years starting on March 3rd 2012, I really needed the break and to re-evaluate my life and feelings around alcohol as before then it was all getting on top of me and too much.

    Have to say that now when I go out if its an event where I dont have the car i'll have a few shandys and thats all. I do enjoy them and stuck to them when on my stag a few weeks back. Its different for everyone and this works for me.

    I dont have the urges any longer to get smashed drunk and be hungover. I know before I gave up I was on a serious path to self destruction but the break and getting my life and head straight really helped.

    Anyway I do enjoy reading the stories on this site of people giving abstaining from alcohol a go and fair play to those who stay off it. The journey is different for everyone and your life is yours to decide how you want to live and approach it.

    Best of luck to all!!!

    Really happy for you, and your experience is a good one to hi-light to others, that being: some can moderate alcohol and be fine! Not everyone has to go the road of absolute abstinence, but we have to be 100% honest with ourselves in discovering that. Sounds like you did exactly that and it's great to hear.

    I know,(from multiple failed attempts at controlling my drinking over the years), that I cannot have even one drink. I have what AA refers to as "an allergy to alcohol" and whenever I take any into my system, "something happens" and I inevitably want more, more and more. Understanding the "physical allergy" and accepting what this meant went a long way to doing two things for me:

    1. Explained all those truly weird (and sometimes scary i.e Blackouts, etc) episodes where I took a drink and the drink took me ;)

    2. Allowed me to move on with my life at last, leaving alcohol behind. We had to part ways, and although I'll always love it- our relationship wasn't a healthy one. Been over 12.5 years now for me, and I am more grateful now than ever to be sober and free.

    Discovering and accepting the truth about ourselves is so important.


  • #1241
    arse..biscuits
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,878 ✭✭✭arse..biscuits


    It's my 34th birthday today and I'm 6 months off the drink. I went to Pixies/Arcade Fire last night with my mates who were all drinking. I was a bit apprehensive but it was grand, I didn't miss half the songs queing for beer or the toilet and I was full of energy, even the walk home was grand. It felt like a milestone, not only the 6 month mark but going to a gig/festival in the sun and not drinking, I didn't think it was possible but I actually preferred it.

    It hasn't all been plain sailing, I find a few times lately that a strange sadness comes over me for no reason. I don't know why, I was thinking that it has something to do with not getting out with friends as much and even when I do, if they are drinking and I'm not, it's not the same. I feel much better today after a great night last night, yesterday I was close to tears for no reason.


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  • #1242
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    arse..biscuits wrote: »
    It's my 34th birthday today and I'm 6 months off the drink. I went to Pixies/Arcade Fire last night with my mates who were all drinking. I was a bit apprehensive but it was grand, I didn't miss half the songs queing for beer or the toilet and I was full of energy, even the walk home was grand. It felt like a milestone, not only the 6 month mark but going to a gig/festival in the sun and not drinking, I didn't think it was possible but I actually preferred it.

    It hasn't all been plain sailing, I find a few times lately that a strange sadness comes over me for no reason. I don't know why, I was thinking that it has something to do with not getting out with friends as much and even when I do, if they are drinking and I'm not, it's not the same. I feel much better today after a great night last night, yesterday I was close to tears for no reason.


    You'll look back on this in years time as the defining moment in your sobriety. Seriously it's huge, I can't congratulate you enough..
    Of course you should be close to tears, you passed your first major test with flying colours so in future when you feel down just look back on the concert and realise you're up for the task..
    That is not to say it'll always be this easy (like you say) but perseverance and self belief will knock the fúck out of that bastard in the back of your head sayin you can't.
    Keep up the good work bud...

    Edit: Regarding that sad feeling it's important to remember alcohol is a depressant and depending on how much/often you drank it could take years (if ever) to truly get past that sadness.
    Now this sounds much worse than it is because any doctor can prescribe medication to counteract that shít feeling so don't worry, (believe me, it works).


  • #1243
    auldgranny
    Registered Users Posts: 909 ✭✭✭auldgranny


    Today is my 4th day. Feel very small and humble with all of you but still sense of achievement. Wed I stopped at off-licence and drove off again. Hope I will manage the whole week and take it from there


  • #1244
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    auldgranny wrote: »
    Today is my 4th day. Feel very small and humble with all of you but still sense of achievement. Wed I stopped at off-licence and drove off again. Hope I will manage the whole week and take it from there

    Those earliest day are the toughest.. Fair play to ya. I seriously never thought I'd stop drinking, yesterday I was 9 weeks sober. Keep at it and the time will just fly.


  • #1245
    auldgranny
    Registered Users Posts: 909 ✭✭✭auldgranny


    GerB40 wrote: »
    Those earliest day are the toughest.. Fair play to ya. I seriously never thought I'd stop drinking, yesterday I was 9 weeks sober. Keep at it and the time will just fly.

    Thanks for encouragement. I am finding it quite tough.


  • #1246
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    auldgranny wrote: »
    Thanks for encouragement. I am finding it quite tough.

    Yes it is very tough auldgranny,and it will get tougher, there many good threads here in which may help you,have a read of them and keep posting any questions or problems,we all have been where you are now. :-)


  • #1247
    auldgranny
    Registered Users Posts: 909 ✭✭✭auldgranny


    realies wrote: »
    Yes it is very tough auldgranny,and it will get tougher, there many good threads here in which may help you,have a read of them and keep posting any questions or problems,we all have been where you are now. :-)

    Feel a bit more energetic today can that be possible?


  • #1248
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Of course, you will get plenty of highs and lows.For most people I talked to the first few days even though there the hardest were the most rewarding,Your whole body from the toes to the head seems to be feeling much better and moving in the right direction.

    For a lot of people after the first seven days they feel so great that they forget why they stopped in the first place and head back into the cycle of drinking that got them to this stage.

    Auldgranny it takes patience and hard work to beat this addiction,there are no easy ways to do it, get yourself a plan and put into place activities that you are interested in, here is a few tips that might be of use.remember the change in your lifestyle has to come from you for you,that's the priority.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=68822432


  • #1249
    dar100
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭dar100


    realies wrote: »
    Of course, you will get plenty of highs and lows.For most people I talked to the first few days even though there the hardest were the most rewarding,Your whole body from the toes to the head seems to be feeling much better and moving in the right direction.

    For a lot of people after the first seven days they feel so great that they forget why they stopped in the first place and head back into the cycle of drinking that got them to this stage.

    Auldgranny it takes patience and hard work to beat this addiction,there are no easy ways to do it, get yourself a plan and put into place activities that you are interested in, here is a few tips that might be of use.remember the change in your lifestyle has to come from you for you,that's the priority.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=68822432

    Some tips:

    Take up an activity/ hobbie, I find physical fitness to be the best, for me

    Meet like minded people, or at the very lest, develop strong social supports

    Get a counsellor/ therapist
    A group- some people find the likes of AA NA etc helpful.

    Gain insight into your addiction, learn how to manage and what brings up triggers and cravings.

    Monitor your thinking and behaviour, as a slip always happens here first, the alcohol/ drugs will follow afterwards

    Rebuild your life in a more positive way, when you feel ready, start doing stuff you may not have done or contemplated doing before, it's very important to replace the addiction with something your enjoy, after all, the addiction was enjoyable for you at some point.

    More than anything, do not attempt this journey alone, because it will in all likelihood not work out well


  • #1250
    GerB40
    Registered Users Posts: 2,047 ✭✭✭GerB40


    auldgranny wrote: »
    Feel a bit more energetic today can that be possible?

    Ah yeah, I remember that. Around ten days in I felt better than ever and wondered what all the big fuss was about.. Don't let that feeling fool you. I'd love to be more encouraging and say it's all plain sailing from here but realistically I reckon you know that ain't the case.
    Now I don't go to meetings, haven't read books nor have I reached out to others for help. My thinking (and I could be wrong about this) is that it's my problem and I should deal with it myself. Don't take that as advice, it works for me but mightnt work for you but if I could sayone thing it would be, enjoy the good days, endure the bad days..
    And of course, stay strong. Boards is a great place to communicate with like minded people so remember, there will always be folks here to help you.


  • #1251
    dar100
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭dar100


    GerB40 wrote: »
    Ah yeah, I remember that. Around ten days in I felt better than ever and wondered what all the big fuss was about.. Don't let that feeling fool you. I'd love to be more encouraging and say it's all plain sailing from here but realistically I reckon you know that ain't the case.
    Now I don't go to meetings, haven't read books nor have I reached out to others for help. My thinking (and I could be wrong about this) is that it's my problem and I should deal with it myself. Don't take that as advice, it works for me but mightnt work for you but if I could sayone thing it would be, enjoy the good days, endure the bad days..
    And of course, stay strong. Boards is a great place to communicate with like minded people so remember, there will always be folks here to help you.

    You my find that there is far less bad days. If you have support around you


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