The Fathers Thread

The_Conductor · 13-05-2009 11:18am

DanGlee wrote: »

Had a little boy just over two weeks, hes the best ever... but we have a slightly different problem (nothing too serious!)

We own a Nissa Micra and it's the smallest crappiest car in the world (well... for a baby - it runs spot on otherwise) so need to big up to something more roomy (plus we maybe have a 2nd child, so defo need the space)

Does anybody have any good suggestions?

We don't have much money to spend, prob €4k max. We were looking at either a Vectra or Mondeo (2002 / 2003 models) 1.6 or 1.8, basic specs. They are available for around that price range!

Any thoughts on these? Took Vectra for a spin today, was lovely to drive, missus loved it?

Any other idea's for cars? What do other dad's have thats 4 door with a big boot and reliable and cheap-ish?

If you go slightly older you'll get a Volvo V40 diesel estate. Perfect for kids- and the safest car on the road.

sos33 · 15-06-2009 11:26am

RobAMerc wrote: »

we had the 20 weeks scan on friday - its a boy !

sorry I just had to tell someone as we're not going public.

my eyes filled up and I could hardly contain myself - it was fantastic to see him swimming about

wife going for 3rd scan on wedensday,its our first and we honestly dont know weather to wait or find out the sex of little sos(shall we say),its
50/50 at the moment,need a kick in the a**e one way or the other HELP!!!!!!!!

Nevyn · 15-06-2009 12:48pm

Do you think it will make a difference knowing?
Will it make it easier to prepare?
Will it mean you can bond more with the baby?
Will you wnat to tell people if you know?
Why would you not want to know, what are your reasons?

Melion · 15-06-2009 5:16pm

We were the same until we had our 3d scan, we hadnt decided even when we were sitting there in the office. Then the sonographer asked us did we want to know, we both looked and said yes at the same time.
Made everything much easier, we got the baby room sorted in pinks and yellows, now only focusing on girls names etc. All we've been doing for the last few weeks is waiting for the little princess to arrive.

sos33 · 15-06-2009 5:51pm

Melion wrote: »

We were the same until we had our 3d scan, we hadnt decided even when we were sitting there in the office. Then the sonographer asked us did we want to know, we both looked and said yes at the same time.
Made everything much easier, we got the baby room sorted in pinks and yellows, now only focusing on girls names etc. All we've been doing for the last few weeks is waiting for the little princess to arrive.

We have decided to find out,makes wedensday more exciting ,thanks for the kick we needed,:D:D ,

alrightcuz · 22-06-2009 2:11pm

im sleepy, im cranky, im wrecked i cant watch any more rugrats,mickey mouse or them twats on the disney channel, i cant go on the piss coz i feel guilty for leaving my partner coz god no's she deserves to be out more then me,i dont work not for the want of trying just let me have some piece i love you but i cant mind you when im haveing a breakdown,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
ahhh now i feel better you need a good rant now and again

chillout · 24-06-2009 8:39pm

get out with the lads have a few scoops and enjoy the break. no point going through ground hog day.

Kashkai · 26-06-2009 8:33pm

Went to the hospital with the wife yesterday for her first appointment (its our fifth baby) and nothing changes. Holles Street is a Mecca for women and the poor unfortunate males who accommpany their partners are at best made jokes of and at worst frowned upon by the females staff/nurses and other women there. My wife joined the queue waiting to see the doctor and sat down beside a group of 5 women who all turned to look at me standing there and collectively gave me a filthy look. Obviously they were discussing that period of time when women are pregnant and they didn't want a male overhearing them. Jeez, I probably know more about having kids than them.

Then when the wife was getting her details taken by a nurse, the nurse without turning to look at me nodded in my direction and asked if I was "house broken by now, ha ha". Now I'm not the sensitive type but why is there so much pressure put on males to be part of the whole pregnancy/birthing ritual when their presence is at best unappreciated and at worst resented by the females types?

To be honest, I didn't want to go to the hospital yesterday as it meant organising a babysitter (my mother who took the day off work) to mind my 4 other kids as I'm a full time, stay at home and mind the kids, Dad. I also knew in advance how resentful the women folk are at the males who do attend these visits with their partners. However, my wife was throwing a moody at how I didn't want to attend and see my 5th child's fetal scan so for a peaceful life I went along.

Now I'm not anti women/male chauvanist etc, and I'm all for equal rights but the anti male sentiment that runs through the female staff and patients in Holles Street gets right up my nose.

Rant over. I'm off to put the kids to bed as my wife is going out with the girls after a hard day at the office :rolleyes:

Trev M · 02-07-2009 1:50pm

Wow Prosperous Dave you obviously have vastly more experience with me , we're awaiting number one. I have to say my experience in Holles Street has been totally different . Ive been in twice and we're back in on monday havent been made feel anything but welcome.

Joey the lips · 02-07-2009 2:08pm

We had our child in holles street. Our child is mentally disabled. I was not happy with how holles street handled his birth having said that it does not mean i have any legal issues I just wont be going back and from what i understand neither did my wifes mid wife

Trev M · 02-07-2009 4:52pm

Jaysus , this is pretty worrying:(

Kashkai · 12-07-2009 2:18pm

Yeah and the real kicker is that you pay approx €4,000 for semi private care that is a complete and utter joke.

You are treated shoddily from when you attend for ante natal visits (massive queues for a less than 5 minute consutation with some smarmy consultant),

you are crammed into the ante natal ward with dozens of other heavily pregnant women with no privacy whatsoever,

after the birth the father and newborn are dumped in the tiny cramped nursery and moved from a - b - c - bloody z when other newborns and their fathers come in and are being shown by nurses how to change a nappy/wash baby.

If your wife has had a c-section like mine has on our kids, then you can expect to be left in the sauna like nursery with hungry screaming baby for up to 5 hours while wife is in recovery (due to their breast feeding ethos, Holles Street won't give you a bottle to feed junior),

when wife eventually arrives, she is put into a ward with 5/6 other women and their screaming babies.

And then you get the bill for €4,000 for this sterling service.

gowayouttadat · 12-07-2009 5:18pm

Prosperous Dave wrote: »

Yeah and the real kicker is that you pay approx €4,000 for semi private care that is a complete and utter joke.

You are treated shoddily from when you attend for ante natal visits (massive queues for a less than 5 minute consutation with some smarmy consultant),

you are crammed into the ante natal ward with dozens of other heavily pregnant women with no privacy whatsoever,

after the birth the father and newborn are dumped in the tiny cramped nursery and moved from a - b - c - bloody z when other newborns and their fathers come in and are being shown by nurses how to change a nappy/wash baby.

If your wife has had a c-section like mine has on our kids, then you can expect to be left in the sauna like nursery with hungry screaming baby for up to 5 hours while wife is in recovery (due to their breast feeding ethos, Holles Street won't give you a bottle to feed junior),

when wife eventually arrives, she is put into a ward with 5/6 other women and their screaming babies.

And then you get the bill for €4,000 for this sterling service.

If you don't think the service is worth it then why are you paying for it? Why do you not go public instead?

Kashkai · 13-07-2009 1:39pm

Because my wife won't go Public as she has this idea of ending up in a ward with 20 women. She believes she gets better care in semi private but I've seen my brothers wives and even my wife's own sister go public and they received exactly the same care as my wife did and they paid nothing for it.

Perhaps its snobbery on my wife's part but I'm not in a position to challenge her on this as I would be accused of bullying her into accepting lesser care (complete bs in my opinion) but thats the way it is I'm afraid. I could go on a rant here but one can't say anything negative about a pregnant woman's decisions without being accused of being a selfish, thoughtless ba$tard, even if we can't afford to pay for this semi private "care" (I'm a full time stay at home Dad minding our 4 other kids while she goes out to earn the crust to pay for mortgage, food, bills etc).

gowayouttadat · 13-07-2009 2:03pm

I was just curious as to the rationale behind paying for a service that you don't think is worth it.
Not saying anything about your wife but I think there is definitely an element of snobbery when it comes to the public/private thing. My own mother went mental when I said I was going public. She went private on all of us but when I talked to her about it afterwards she said it was because in Cork at the time whether you went public of private determined which hospital you could get in to. That's not the case any more seeing as we all end up in the same place.
Before I found out I was pregnant I would have definitely thought I'd have opted for private but it was my GP that convinced me otherwise.

Nevyn · 13-07-2009 2:27pm

Prosperous Dave wrote: »

Because my wife won't go Public as she has this idea of ending up in a ward with 20 women.

If all the private and semiprivate rooms are occupied when she gives birth then she could still end up in a public ward, but any I know of only have 12 beds in them.

Prosperous Dave wrote: »

She believes she gets better care in semi private but I've seen my brothers wives and even my wife's own sister go public and they received exactly the same care as my wife did and they paid nothing for it.

Private semi private is only good for que skipping in the country tbh.

Prosperous Dave wrote: »

Perhaps its snobbery on my wife's part but I'm not in a position to challenge her on this as I would be accused of bullying her into accepting lesser care (complete bs in my opinion) but thats the way it is I'm afraid. I could go on a rant here but one can't say anything negative about a pregnant woman's decisions without being accused of being a selfish, thoughtless ba$tard,

I disagree with that. The idea that you have to be nice to her and agree with her all the time cos she is expecting is a fallacy and that level of stress is not
good for your or the family.

No wonder the risks of partner abuse rise so much when a woman is pregnant, no I am not saying you ever ever would abuse your mrs at any stage but that level of stress due to not being able to disagree at all is not normal or natural.

Prosperous Dave wrote: »

even if we can't afford to pay for this semi private "care" (I'm a full time stay at home Dad minding our 4 other kids while she goes out to earn the crust to pay for mortgage, food, bills etc).

Does she not have health insurance which will cover the bulk of it?

Kashkai · 14-07-2009 2:40pm

I'd agree with you on a lot of what you say Thaed.

I feel like I'm about to burst when it comes to the whole expense of semi private care. We are down one salary (mine) and are living, i.e. scrimping to get by, on hers and she's recently been pointing out that it is "her" money that we're spending on the semi private care (funny how it was "our" money when I was the one working and she wasn't :rolleyes:). As I've said, even with semi private care, her 1.30pm appointment means waiting in a huge queue for at least an hour, i.e. 2.30pm to see the consultant for a maximum of 5 minutes and I cannot for the life of me see how going public would be any worse.

Finally, thank you very much for your words re. not putting up with endless sniping from her or having to agree 100% with her decisions re. her pregnancy. I'm completely fed up with how things stand at the moment and nothing I do is ever right. Jeez, I've given up a good job to stay at home and mind our 4 kids as she was "fed up being stuck at home all day every day doing housework and minding kids" and she "wanted to get back to adult company". Funny how she (not me) still wants another child then even though she spends very little time with the 4 kids she already has, i.e. comes home from work at 7, eats dinner, shouts at kids, goes to bed by 8.30.

It also really annoys her that I can do all the household chores, mind/play with our kids, AND still do all the other "manly" chores like cutting the acre of lawn, washing cars, painting etc etc and do it quicker and more efficiently than her. For instance, our Saturdays and Sundays are completely chore free as I have everything done by Friday so we can spend real quality time with the kids. But does this make her happy, like fcuk it does and she just disappears out to the shops to spend money we don't have leaving me with the kids or she is tired and has to go to bed and orders that I take the kids out so they don't annoy her. However, when I come home with the kids, I have to listen to comments about keeping the kids out late (8pm is late????) and going to my mothers to bitch about her (actually I don't - I reserve this for the anonimity of the web!). You are so right about the stress that is building up and while I would never lay a finger on her or anyone else in anger, this situation is causing cracks in our marriage that will be hard to seal.

Our 5th child is due in December but (and its hard to admit this), I honestly couldn't care less at this stage. Any joy/excitement about this pregnancy has been completely eroded by now. Tbh, she's welcome to the baby and she can look after it when it comes while I go back to work (if I can get a job).

Nevyn · 14-07-2009 5:50pm

Honestly at this stage if communiction has broken down and you are not working together any more for the good of the whole family it may be time to start looking at couples counselling or even talking to some one yourself to get your head straigh and vent/deal wiht all you are feeling and dealing with so it doens't build up an dyou can start making constructive changes in a non emotive manner.

The her money coments I do think is very much out of line and it sounds like your a great Dad.

prissylee · 15-07-2009 2:49pm

Prosperous Dave wrote: »

I'd agree with you on a lot of what you say Thaed.

I feel like I'm about to burst when it comes to the whole expense of semi private care. We are down one salary (mine) and are living, i.e. scrimping to get by, on hers and she's recently been pointing out that it is "her" money that we're spending on the semi private care (funny how it was "our" money when I was the one working and she wasn't :rolleyes:). As I've said, even with semi private care, her 1.30pm appointment means waiting in a huge queue for at least an hour, i.e. 2.30pm to see the consultant for a maximum of 5 minutes and I cannot for the life of me see how going public would be any worse.

Finally, thank you very much for your words re. not putting up with endless sniping from her or having to agree 100% with her decisions re. her pregnancy. I'm completely fed up with how things stand at the moment and nothing I do is ever right. Jeez, I've given up a good job to stay at home and mind our 4 kids as she was "fed up being stuck at home all day every day doing housework and minding kids" and she "wanted to get back to adult company". Funny how she (not me) still wants another child then even though she spends very little time with the 4 kids she already has, i.e. comes home from work at 7, eats dinner, shouts at kids, goes to bed by 8.30.

It also really annoys her that I can do all the household chores, mind/play with our kids, AND still do all the other "manly" chores like cutting the acre of lawn, washing cars, painting etc etc and do it quicker and more efficiently than her. For instance, our Saturdays and Sundays are completely chore free as I have everything done by Friday so we can spend real quality time with the kids. But does this make her happy, like fcuk it does and she just disappears out to the shops to spend money we don't have leaving me with the kids or she is tired and has to go to bed and orders that I take the kids out so they don't annoy her. However, when I come home with the kids, I have to listen to comments about keeping the kids out late (8pm is late????) and going to my mothers to bitch about her (actually I don't - I reserve this for the anonimity of the web!). You are so right about the stress that is building up and while I would never lay a finger on her or anyone else in anger, this situation is causing cracks in our marriage that will be hard to seal.

Our 5th child is due in December but (and its hard to admit this), I honestly couldn't care less at this stage. Any joy/excitement about this pregnancy has been completely eroded by now. Tbh, she's welcome to the baby and she can look after it when it comes while I go back to work (if I can get a job).

Hi Pros Dave. I am a female (with no kids but plenty of neices and nephews to know what parenting is all about) and I just wanna say I totally agree with thaed too in that you don't have to support your wife 100% in this whole buisness of going private. I say fair play to you for going back to work and minding 4 kids. That can't be easy. And she seems to forget that it was YOU who gave up your job in order for her to return to the workforce...

"It also really annoys her that I can do all the household chores, mind/play with our kids, AND still do all the other "manly" chores like cutting the acre of lawn, washing cars, painting etc etc and do it quicker and more efficiently than her. For instance, our Saturdays and Sundays are completely chore free as I have everything done by Friday so we can spend real quality time with the kids. But does this make her happy...."

OMG what is wrong with your wife? She should be so grateful that you can have all the household stuff done plus all the outside work done before the weekend. It sounds like you're obviously better at doing it than her? I have no kids myself yet, but I have a great hubby who is terrific around the house and does all the outside work too. So I for one am truly grateful for this and will be so much more so if we ever have kids (hopef soon!).

"However, when I come home with the kids, I have to listen to comments about keeping the kids out late (8pm is late????) and going to my mothers to bitch about her (actually I don't - I reserve this for the anonimity of the web!)...."

Sounds like she's not happy with whatever you do -whether you give her time with our without the kids. And I commend you too for not bitching about her to your mother, but keeping it anonymous online! Takes a lot to keep all that to yourself. I agree with thaed that counselling might be an option before you crack up altogether...?

But it sounds like you're a great husband and brilliant dad and she should cop on and learn to appreciate you.

Best of luck and I hope things improve for you.

Kashkai · 15-07-2009 3:37pm

Thanks for the comments folks. You'll forgive me if I indulge in a bit more internet therapy here as its a cheap way to blow off steam.........

I've been excusing a hell of a lot from her lately as I know hormones are probably raging round inside her but I have to admit that these issues run a lot deeper than just her being bitchy during pregnancy. I'd like to give an example of how screwed up she is - a few weeks ago, she went to her home place in the west with 3 of our kids (she left the baby with me as "she'd be too much trouble to look after" - no problem for me as she's a lovely sweet natured child). Anyways, when she came back home (I was out with the baby and so this annoyed her as I wasn''t there to then look after the other kids), I discovered the next day when he got up from bed that my son had chicken pox. She wouldn't even pick up the phone and tell me this when she was away in the west or when she saw me at home when she came back. I had to find out next day when I could see my son in the daylight. You'd think any parent, married or separated, would communicate with each other if one of the children was ill.

You'd be amazed at how I'm the cause of everything that is wrong with her life. For instance, she goes out with the girls, either after work or comes home first and then goes out and the next day launches into how I resent her social life. Now I never say anything about her going out, and tbh, I look forward to when she does so when the kids go to bed, I can sit back and watch a movie without having to listen to her endless comments (all negative). Then she says I'm jealous of her social life cause I don't have one but so what, I'd rather be at home with my kids than be in the pub (and if I did go to the pub, you can imagine how much ammo that would give her).

Now I'd like to know if any other guy had a wife that became super bitchy during pregnancy and how he coped or did it do lasting damage? And for the ladies, how far should a guy be pushed before he has enough?

I think counselling would be an excellent idea but I don't think she'd agree and if she did, then everything would be my fault anyway.

Nevyn · 15-07-2009 8:19pm

I honestly think that if you can you should get some counselling for yourself, even if it's to figure out how much or little you are contributing to the factors making you both unhappy. Everyone's limit is different.

January · 15-07-2009 8:56pm

All I can say is fair play to you Prosperous Dave. I'm a woman and if I was like that with my husband he would have packed his bags a long time ago and left.

I think maybe she resents the fact that you can mind four children and still do everything else around the house. Maybe she secretly wants you to fail and ask for her help so she can rub it in your face? Forgive me for that last comment.

It's so not on not telling you that one of your children is ill. I would have been lynched if I done this to my partner.

I think the counselling for yourself is a good idea at the moment. Just to get some of this off your chest on a proffessional level. There's only so much help strangers on an internet forum can give before you start going batty!! Then maybe mention to her that he wants to see the both of you...?

Kashkai · 16-07-2009 1:16pm

Don't suppose there are any suggestions as to where/who I could contact to talk these issues over with as she's driving me mental (which is some feat as I'm usually rock solid), bearing in mind that money is tight and I can't afford to be paying someone €100 an hour.

Its times like this that I wish I had a sister to get the female perspective on this as I can't/won't talk this over with my mother as running to mammy was never my style and she'd probably pick up the phone and tell my wife to cop on (bit of a straight talker my mother!).

RobAMerc · 16-07-2009 2:06pm

Hi all,

Just popped back to say I'm a dad now and thanks for all the advice and support I got from ye while we were knocked up!

Our son was born on Fathers day and both him and mum are doing great.

So take this as a reminder that its all well worth it !

Cheers
Rob

Nevyn · 16-07-2009 3:14pm

Congratulations RobAMerc hope ye are all getting sleep

lalalulu · 20-07-2009 10:30am

Hi prosperous dave.. Just a quick one re counselling... Northside counselling in coolock in dublin offer a free service. There is a waiting list but depending on how flexiable you can be on time you could get an appointment within two weeks. Not sure if you are even in dublin if your not i suppose you could ring northside counselling and they could get you in touch elsewhere. Best of luck...

Spiderman80884 · 20-07-2009 11:50pm

RobAMerc wrote: »

Hi all,

Just popped back to say I'm a dad now and thanks for all the advice and support I got from ye while we were knocked up!

Our son was born on Fathers day and both him and mum are doing great.

So take this as a reminder that its all well worth it !

Cheers
Rob

Congrats Rob. We've 10 weeks left till due date. Started working on the nursery this last week. Have the cot, cradle, bath, pram, clothes, etc. Beginning to get real! The OH even has a bump!!! And it moves sometimes!!!!!!

fifth · 21-07-2009 10:03am

Hi Everyone,

Just saying hi, will be a Dad to a baby boy on Dec 19th (or maybe 25th who knows)!

BrookieD · 21-07-2009 10:05am

Hi all,
well our time is almost here, another check up yesterday, baby and mum doing very well. Loads of movment and even getting to feel a foot here and a heel there.

Hopefully in the next few days ahead a nice pressent of a health baby will arrive. COME ON ALREADY......LOL

Trev M · 28-07-2009 12:58pm

Only six weeks to go ! Woot cant wait , have started having dreams about the birth now heh heh bit mad

joeduggan · 29-07-2009 5:12pm

hi. just wanted to say hi. im a dad to a seven month old baby girl and she is my life. best thing ever happened to me.:D:D

R0ot · 10-08-2009 2:46pm

Just chiming in here, known for 2 months now, just over the 3 month period and got to hear my wee ones heart beat for the first time.

lastbuilders · 10-08-2009 3:17pm

We are having our first either today or tomorrow and can't say how excited and nervous I am. Can't wait for it but very apprehensive at the same time.

Lastbuilders

staker · 11-08-2009 5:32am

Hope all's going well, let us know!

Nevyn · 11-08-2009 11:25am

Congratulations R0ot.

Hope everything goes well lastbuilders.

lastbuilders · 12-08-2009 7:42am

Junior arrived at 6:02 pm yesterday and all well. Overjoyed. Great anniversary present.

Clanket · 12-08-2009 11:42am

Congrats Lastbuilders.

My OH is 3 months gone with our first. To be honest it hasn't properly set in yet. She's reading Mylene Klass's pregnancy book at the minute and says I have to read it after. Says it's full of loads of helpful info.

I'd say it gets scarier the closer it gets

lastbuilders · 13-08-2009 6:56am

Cheers all.

Alofthedunnes, The time flies. It only seems like yesterday that we found out we were expecting. Hope all goes well for ye. Last few days was scary with questions like "Will everything go alright" and "Will he be ok" but thankfully all went fine.

Lastbuilders

fitzie79 · 19-08-2009 10:50pm

hi all. 1st time in this section of boards but will be back here quite often! found out that my wife is pregnant last sunday - absolutely bursting with joy since. would love to tell everyone as its killing me keeping it secret. know that it makes sense to wait but doesnt make it any easier! posting anonomously will have to do for now

building a house at the moment so have used the construction section of boards a lot for the past year - will now have to check for regular updates here as well.....

Clanket · 20-08-2009 9:49am

Good luck Fitzie. My OH is 4 months gone. First scan next Thursday. You should contact the hospital you are going to be attending asap as the delay getting in for scans is a joke. Was even on the news yeasterday it's so bad.

fitzie79 · 20-08-2009 5:50pm

Alofthedunnes wrote: »

Good luck Fitzie. My OH is 4 months gone. First scan next Thursday. You should contact the hospital you are going to be attending asap as the delay getting in for scans is a joke. Was even on the news yeasterday it's so bad.

thanks for the advice. OH is on the ball - hospital were contacted in tuesday

scouser19 · 05-09-2009 12:52am

Hi everyone.

I'm (29) having a serious problem with my relationship with my pregnant girlfriend(25), and advice would be cool.

We are together almost a year, and are 4 months into the pregnancy. I totally love this girl to bits, and treat so well it's unreal...i promise. It's my first child, so obviously never experienced the "dreaded hormones" before, however, i was convinced i was totally ready for them. Big mistake!!! I'm a patient guy at the best of times, trust me.

I totally understand the changes in the body and how hard it is for girls both emotionally and physically, especially with there first child. I know i was expecting hardship off my partner, and when she got real bad sickness 3 months into her pragnancy i thought i was prepared!! Bulll****!!

Trust me, i gave her all the "space" she required and asked for when she was sick( and it was hard cos all i wanted to do was to try help her and care for her). But the stupid rows over nothing??!!! I'm not exagerating, but if i said something was white, she'd say it was black!!! I just can't win no matter how hard i try. You name it i've tried to get around her and appease her....waste of time, (ie, flowers, chocs ete).

Prior to the sickness, we got approved a mortgage, and everything was fine, we were excited and planning everything, and i knew i was expecting some **** off her when she got sick, but today she finished with me and wants nothing to do with me....and i'm really not sure what to do??

Everyone will say "give her time"....but i've not seen her in 2 weeks....and in that 2 weeks she doesn't wanna speak to me on the phone(won't answer), so the only communication is text....which is no way of communication in a realationship in my opinion, so when i say "look, whats the craic with not wanting to even talk to me the past 2 weeks", i get...litterally......."we're over...i don't wanna be with you"!!!

I understand she is obviously taking some **** out on me, but the way she's going we ain't gonna work out and its breaking my heart cos i love her so much, but just as important is the fact that i don't wanna bring up my child in a broken family....and know half the countrys parents have split up, just like mine did when i was younger..... But whats really annoying me is the thoughts of someone else rearing my child if she gets with someone else,( her 6 yr ex is in serious contact with her by the way, and thats a raw subject with us)...ok, so i'll get to see it at weekends...but i'll miss everything else,ie..... first crawl, walk etc.

It's not an ideal world i know... and **** doesn't work out the way ye want it, but does anyone reckon i should hang in there and wait for her to get her head outta her hole so to speak( even if she wants absolutely nothing to do with me), or push on with my own mortgage and get a roof over my head for me and my child to stay with me???

I'm sure theres been lots of peoople in my situation........... cheers!!!

Spiderman80884 · 06-10-2009 3:01pm

My little fella was born at 7lbs last Tuesday. I swear to God you girls out there are hero's!!!! Anyway, the little lad is doing so well, he's a contented little soul who basically only cries (so far) when he needs a nappy change or needs some diesel for the tank. Seems to me to be pretty bright and very alert. He has the deepest blue eyes you could ever see and likes my singing (well maybe he's bright but tone deaf)!!!! I am the happiest man in the world!!

hacked · 06-10-2009 4:50pm

aw congratulations! so happy for you!

gowayouttadat · 06-10-2009 4:57pm

Congrats spiderman!!

Nevyn · 06-10-2009 5:28pm

Congratulations

foxy06 · 06-10-2009 8:59pm

Congats!:)

fitzie79 · 08-10-2009 10:24am

had scan yesterday and all went well

due mid april - same date as my birthday!

appointment was for 11 (it was can only for the scan) but said we'd be early and arrived at 9.30. receptionist looked at us as if we had 2 heads and told us to come back at 10.50. we arrived back on time and were out within 5 minutes. felt a bit stupid for being so early but glad that everything was ok.

had first experience of pregnancy hormones this morning. woke up with my wife and noticed that she seemed a bit angry. asked her about it only to be told that she was angry with me because i had burned the couch with the ashes from the fire. i didn't know what she was on about but turns out that's what i had done in her dream last night

eviltwin · 08-10-2009 9:14pm

Go easy on your partners guys. Pregnancy isnt easy. I'm very lucky in that it seems to suit me very well but carrying a baby for the best part of the year takes its toll on the strongest of women.

Remember we can't drink, smoke, we have to say goodbye to all our normal clothes, we are worried sick about the baby, feeling self concious about our shape and thats before you get to the physical problems!!

I've been pretty laid back ( I like to think so anyway!! ) but I know I've had moments where I've let rip. .just give her the benefit of the doubt and lots and lots of spoiling. It really does make a difference.

Congrats to you all on your soon to be or new arrivals...its really lovely to meet some stand up dads for once.

Clanket · 09-10-2009 9:49am

eviltwin wrote: »

Go easy on your partners guys. Pregnancy isnt easy. I'm very lucky in that it seems to suit me very well but carrying a baby for the best part of the year takes its toll on the strongest of women.

Remember we can't drink, smoke, we have to say goodbye to all our normal clothes, we are worried sick about the baby, feeling self concious about our shape and thats before you get to the physical problems!!

I've been pretty laid back ( I like to think so anyway!! ) but I know I've had moments where I've let rip. .just give her the benefit of the doubt and lots and lots of spoiling. It really does make a difference.

Congrats to you all on your soon to be or new arrivals...its really lovely to meet some stand up dads for once.

Some excellent advice eviltwin

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