The Fathers Thread

Nevyn · 19-05-2010 10:18pm

I think that understanding what is going on in the pregnancy and your partners body means that you have a lot more sympathy, rather then thinking she's just whinging again.

ir666 · 20-05-2010 7:53am

d4v1d

I would say that u have to make some sort of effort from day 1.

This is a big event for her (and you).

You dont have to be Ned Flanders, but be careful not to adopt a caveman attitude either.

It will be easier on yourself in the long run.

Just my opinion of course.

Empathise ........

gandalf · 20-05-2010 8:39am

d4v1d sounds like your missus has a keeper :rolleyes:

I mean if thats your attitude now then god help the child.

cbyrd · 20-05-2010 12:38pm

d4v1d wrote: »

mid july we've been told. i can't wait.

to any new dad to be, there's a lot of pressure in this day and age to have to fit in to the idea that you must 'be supportive' and remember 'she's going through all these changes' and all that.

my advice is to only give as much as you feel like giving. if you don't want to go to antenatal classes then don't go, if you don't want to feel the baby moving then just don't. be nice about it but remember, there are some guys, and it is a minority, that just don't handle pregnant partners very well.

i hear all this talk about giving her massages when the baby is coming out. why?? i don't expect a back massage anytime i have constipation. i don't understand why i have to know how many legs the baby has at week 22 or that it now has a brain and/or ears. the end result speaks for itself. when the babies arrive, then you can take part with changing nappies and raising them, but if you start feeling pressured into taking part now you'll just end up resenting the whole thing. i know i do.

but sure why take an interest when they're newborn.. i mean they can't tell you whats wrong and why they're crying sure why not wait til they can talk and pee by themselves, but then they might fall over and hurt themselves and need a plaster on one of they're many legs...

if you resent the biggest achievment of both your lives now well whats going to change?? the baby won't arrive and wave a wand to make you love him or her??!! i'd do some serious thinking on the attitude towards your other half, i know if i wasn't getting any support i'd really start to wonder why you're not getting excited.. if your really not that bothered.
it doesn't get easier when the baby arrives.. and if you resent it now what will you do at 2 3 or 4 am when s/he is crying??
i wish your partner all the best.. sounds like she needs it;)

Swizzles · 20-05-2010 1:08pm

Agree with Cbyrd 110%
Ok so nothing we can say here will change your mind..The only thing that can is you.
I agree with you its hard for a man to be a dad until the baby is physically in your hands whereas women bond much much earlier but if you dont have any feelings towards the life you helped create then there not going to develop overnight..i use the word feelings becoz that seems like what you are saying..

Your partner wont give you a back rub when you are contispated..Why?Becoz you can control your body..In pregnancy you cant..You would be suprised at how easy it is to turn the hormones around..A simple Ï know your going through a hard time but it will be worth it does make a difference..

Have you asked your partner what its like to be pregnant?How you can make things easier for her?Im due the start of July and i know i get really upset thinking of the things i could do before that i cant do now but i get over it because i have no choice..I mean simple things like picking paper up off the floor is a task in itself for a pregnant woman..climbing the stairs can feel like everest..hey if we could go down the no moaning,no aching,no stretch mark , no big tummy road then we would cause its not that easy on us either...
Maybe a trip to one of the antenatal classes will help you see that we have ZERO control over this..

Best of luck!!

CathyMoran · 20-05-2010 3:31pm

My son would get excited when his daddy came home (he would kick in my tummy), he was at almost every scan and they have a tremendous bond - I feel that you would be missing out on a lot if you can not enjoy the pregnancy as well. We got a 4d scan and seeing our baby was wonderful, my two men are wonderful.

d4v1d · 20-05-2010 8:43pm

thank you all for your replies.

but i don't think you understood what it is i find difficult. i do love the girl that's growing inside my wife, and i also love my wife completely.

what i'm trying to say to my wife is that i don't need to get a blow by blow account of what is going on, i don't need to hear the heartbeat of the girl inside the womb, i don't need to see pictures or images. why celebrate over a stupid photo when there's 2 or 3 more months of misery to go.

it's not that i have a problem with loving the child, i know already what changes i am making and will have to make, and i don't for one minute think i'm losing out on some other part of life when she arrives. my life has only gotten better as i got older and i see the child as being the next best thing in my life, after my wife.

but until baby arrives i couldn't care less about goes on in the womb. she's the woman, it's up to her to carry the child until it's born. and i don't want to listen day in, day out that her hips are sore, or she's feeling poorly. for gods sake she's been like that 23 out of every 24 hours since getting pregnant. i mean every woman in the world has gone through and felt the same thing, why does she have to broadcast it as if martians had landed!!! she's surely not the first woman to have had a few aches and pains.

Nevyn · 21-05-2010 8:53am

She is not the first woman who has has those aches and pains but it is the first time it has happened to her. Having your body change so radically can be freaky and scarey and you dont' feel like yourself, it's like your bodys being hijacked from with in. Yes it's the mircle of life but it's very freaky when it's happening to you the first time.

Heeping a postive attitude and feeling loved and supported at this time means a lot and makes managing the pregnancy easier and if a woman is feeling miserable and stressed out during the pregnancy then she has an improved risk of post natal depression.

For some women pregnancy is a breeze for other's it's a form of hell as your body changes and your sick and tired and suffering pains all the time and you are trapped in it.

ThePiedPiper · 21-05-2010 10:22am

d4v1d wrote: »

thank you all for your replies.
but i don't think you understood what it is i find difficult. i do love the girl that's growing inside my wife, and i also love my wife completely.
what i'm trying to say to my wife is that i don't need to get a blow by blow account of what is going on, i don't need to hear the heartbeat of the girl inside the womb, i don't need to see pictures or images. why celebrate over a stupid photo when there's 2 or 3 more months of misery to go.
it's not that i have a problem with loving the child, i know already what changes i am making and will have to make, and i don't for one minute think i'm losing out on some other part of life when she arrives. my life has only gotten better as i got older and i see the child as being the next best thing in my life, after my wife.
but until baby arrives i couldn't care less about goes on in the womb. she's the woman, it's up to her to carry the child until it's born. and i don't want to listen day in, day out that her hips are sore, or she's feeling poorly. for gods sake she's been like that 23 out of every 24 hours since getting pregnant. i mean every woman in the world has gone through and felt the same thing, why does she have to broadcast it as if martians had landed!!! she's surely not the first woman to have had a few aches and pains.

Different strokes for different folks...

I do feel however that taking more of an active part in your partner's pregnancy will be beneficial for both of you now and later when the child arrives.

I went to all the hospital visits and ante-natal classes with my wife and found them really beneficial. Your partner is going through huge changes at the moment and if you understood even theoretically some of these, at least when she is moaning about her sore hips, you might understand why. She might be in labour for 30 hours, she's going to need you to know something, even basic things like time between contractions, when she should go to hospital, pain relief, etc. Bear in mind, she might actually be depending on you at some point to make decisions for her when she's in too much pain or anxiety to think clearly. You will not be prepared for this even remotely if you don't try and go to ante-natal classes at the very least. Trust me, when the time comes, you'll be glad of any little bit of knowledge you have because it can be a tough time for the dads too.

You could do some very small things for your partner every day that will be of enormous benefit to her and fun for you both. Every night of my wife's pregnancy, I gave her a back and bum massage and put oil on her growing belly. The result for her: no sore back, bum or legs and no stretch marks after pregnancy. It also brings intimacy during a time when women may not be feeling at their most attractive so it's of benefit to everyone.

Anyway, I'll stop ranting and as I said at the start, different things work for different people. What we did worked extremely well for us and even during a 30 hour labour with loads of complications, we both remained calm and relaxed and were ready to hit the ground running as parents.

Best of luck.

cbyrd · 21-05-2010 1:01pm

d4v1d wrote: »

thank you all for your replies.

but i don't think you understood what it is i find difficult. i do love the girl that's growing inside my wife, and i also love my wife completely.

what i'm trying to say to my wife is that i don't need to get a blow by blow account of what is going on, i don't need to hear the heartbeat of the girl inside the womb, i don't need to see pictures or images. why celebrate over a stupid photo when there's 2 or 3 more months of misery to go.

it's not that i have a problem with loving the child, i know already what changes i am making and will have to make, and i don't for one minute think i'm losing out on some other part of life when she arrives. my life has only gotten better as i got older and i see the child as being the next best thing in my life, after my wife.

but until baby arrives i couldn't care less about goes on in the womb. she's the woman, it's up to her to carry the child until it's born. and i don't want to listen day in, day out that her hips are sore, or she's feeling poorly. for gods sake she's been like that 23 out of every 24 hours since getting pregnant. i mean every woman in the world has gone through and felt the same thing, why does she have to broadcast it as if martians had landed!!! she's surely not the first woman to have had a few aches and pains.

all i'll say is i hope you never get sick...

i know the sympathy you'd get in my house;)

houseman · 21-05-2010 4:20pm

Hi d4v1d can I ask of u intend to be at the birth?

lukesmom · 22-05-2010 11:37am

d4v1d wrote: »

thank you all for your replies.

but i don't think you understood what it is i find difficult. i do love the girl that's growing inside my wife, and i also love my wife completely.

what i'm trying to say to my wife is that i don't need to get a blow by blow account of what is going on, i don't need to hear the heartbeat of the girl inside the womb, i don't need to see pictures or images. why celebrate over a stupid photo when there's 2 or 3 more months of misery to go.

it's not that i have a problem with loving the child, i know already what changes i am making and will have to make, and i don't for one minute think i'm losing out on some other part of life when she arrives. my life has only gotten better as i got older and i see the child as being the next best thing in my life, after my wife.

but until baby arrives i couldn't care less about goes on in the womb. she's the woman, it's up to her to carry the child until it's born. and i don't want to listen day in, day out that her hips are sore, or she's feeling poorly. for gods sake she's been like that 23 out of every 24 hours since getting pregnant. i mean every woman in the world has gone through and felt the same thing, why does she have to broadcast it as if martians had landed!!! she's surely not the first woman to have had a few aches and pains.

Oh you poor man having to listen to your wife complain about her aches and pains, sore hips etc... Must be really tough for you not being the centre of attention for once. I hope to God your wife has had other means of support throughout her pregnancy. I'm lucky I've such a supportive husband who marvels at the miracle that is growing inside my womb!

d4v1d · 25-05-2010 6:26pm

houseman wrote: »

Hi d4v1d can I ask of u intend to be at the birth?

absolutely! i can't wait to hold my little girl in my arms. nothing will make me miss this.

cbyrd · 26-05-2010 8:53pm

d4v1d wrote: »

absolutely! i can't wait to hold my little girl in my arms. nothing will make me miss this.

but if you don't attend even one ante-natal class how will you know what to expect?? it can be a pretty scary situation if you're not prepared for it...
what if there are complications? hopefully there won't but do you not feel you would be better to know what can and can't happen?
i've been through it 3 times each time was straight forward but i wouldn't have gotten through it as well without my husband there
he was clued in from me being annoying and reading the book to him at night..
it's a major and traumatic event for anyone involved, if it's your first at least read about what to expect

firsttimedad · 08-06-2010 9:21pm

hey there - my wife has been totally fantastic - even when she was sick there were no complaints - I am blessed

. Even with this I am totally freaking out at the thought that my wife will have to go though something so difficult - I can be there to crack the odd joke and encourage her but I can't actually do anything to help. I am normally Mr Logical but I am freaking out at the though of something being wrong with the baby - I can't wait to be a dad but I am freaking :eek:. Any advice or anyone else in the same boat?

Clanket · 09-06-2010 9:29am

firsttimedad wrote: »

hey there - my wife has been totally fantastic - even when she was sick there were no complaints - I am blessed . Even with this I am totally freaking out at the thought that my wife will have to go though something so difficult - I can be there to crack the odd joke and encourage her but I can't actually do anything to help. I am normally Mr Logical but I am freaking out at the though of something being wrong with the baby - I can't wait to be a dad but I am freaking :eek:. Any advice or anyone else in the same boat?

Stay calm. My first is now 14 weeks old. It's a scary time alright but it's manageable. Our pregnancy was a nightmare. Went 10 days over and had to be induced. OH was in induced labour for 10 hours but only got to 3 cm so had to have a caesaerean in the end. Very scary but we made it out the other side with a beautiful boy. He's cooing and laughing away now and looks like he's gonna start crawling any day.

As I said try stay as calm as possible. No point worrying until you have to

Bill2673 · 09-06-2010 9:41am

David - my own opinion on this is as follows.....yes you right, she is not the first woman to ever have a child, yes she is not the first woman to ever go through aches and pains during pregnancy....but I'd disagree with you entirely that she should shut up and put up, just because shes not the first woman to ever have a baby.

9 months labour is a huge workload, its a huge physical task for a woman. Its a question of sharing the workload. If listening to her talk about it, and complain about it, is your contribution.... then I'd say thats a small and easy part of the workload.....

hacked · 09-06-2010 5:59pm

David--

I was engaged when I got pregnant. I should have been getting married this June...the 26th to be precise.

I say should have because my fiance acted exactly how you are acting now. He lost the plot when he wasn't the centre of attention and when all of a sudden I started putting baby first and not his every whim. He got mad when I felt sick, or when I wsa so exhausted I would sleep all the time and didn't have time for other things. You sound so like him.

After a while I got sick of it, so I broke the engagement off. If he couldn't be loving and supportive through something as difficult as my pregnancy (which i was quite sick for and had a bad labour) why the hell would I trust him to be a supportive and loving husband for the rest f my life?

Just becayse most women do it does NOT make it an easy thing. It is extremely difficult, and I'm sure your attitude it making it just harder for your wife.

What makes you think you can just magically change once the baby arrives? When the baby is screaming all night every night and you are getting no sleep? Millions of parents have done it before you, but does that mean that you should just put up and shut up and that it shold be easier for you?

Nevyn · 11-06-2010 9:48pm

and I think that people need to learn to report posts.

positron · 17-06-2010 3:33pm

Another expectant father here joining the queue - hello all!

It's our first, I suppose it's normal to be excited, although I am kinda worried of the day when my own toys (PS3 etc) will be taken away from me, and new silly toys fill the rooms, and I will be staying up all night for all the wrong reasons.

It's a bit of a nightmare working out the financial side of things, but I am sure it will all be worth it in the end. Best of luck with anyone expecting soon - it's early stages for us here, so yeah, back to my game for now!

Clanket · 17-06-2010 3:49pm

positron wrote: »

Another expectant father here joining the queue - hello all!

It's our first, I suppose it's normal to be excited, although I am kinda worried of the day when my own toys (PS3 etc) will be taken away from me, and new silly toys fill the rooms, and I will be staying up all night for all the wrong reasons.

It's a bit of a nightmare working out the financial side of things, but I am sure it will all be worth it in the end. Best of luck with anyone expecting soon - it's early stages for us here, so yeah, back to my game for now!

Congrats. Don't worry I'm a big time gamer and my Xbox hasn't been retired yet. Though it is getting harder to get on as much as I use to.

Good luck with everything.

And remember, she's going to get a bit mental but it's all worth it in the end

Nevyn · 17-06-2010 5:14pm

Yes it can curtail your gaming but I was able to breast feed and play the playstation back in the day and it's a joy when they get old enough to play with you.

Trotter · 18-06-2010 12:03am

Hey all.. Time I started following this thread. Trotter Junior no. 1 due on Christmas Day!

CathyMoran · 18-06-2010 8:15am

Trotter wrote: »

Hey all.. Time I started following this thread. Trotter Junior no. 1 due on Christmas Day!

Remember that Sunday is your first Fathers day! Congrats on your impending arrival. My son was born shortly after Mothers but my husband and then bump got me a card - priceless.

gunner0098 · 18-06-2010 11:55am

Hello all!!

Baby no 1 is due in December (the 15th-ish). I can't wait!!
Unfortunately my wife has had a very tough time. She's had sever morning sickness, hyperemesis gravidarum is the medical term for it. In hospital on drips etc 3 times already. She's now into week 14 and things are begining to ease up. Only sick now in the mornings but gets through the rest of the day okay. She's actually looking forward to getting back to work (off for 8 weeks now)!!

Trying my best to keep her spirits up and doing whatever I can for her. Hopefully (touch wood) that's the worst of it and we can start to enjoy it.:D

Clanket · 18-06-2010 12:14pm

Congratulations Gunner. That's awful for your OH. Hopefully everything goes smoothly from here on in.

gunner0098 · 18-06-2010 12:19pm

Alofthedunnes wrote: »

Congratulations Gunner. That's awful for your OH. Hopefully everything goes smoothly from here on in.

Thanks. Fingers crossed!!

I've got the Granny's and Great Gran pumping out the Hail Mary's as we speak!!!

Nevyn · 18-06-2010 1:43pm

Great to see new Dads to be signing in

Trotter · 18-06-2010 5:38pm

CathyMoran wrote: »

Remember that Sunday is your first Fathers day! Congrats on your impending arrival. My son was born shortly after Mothers but my husband and then bump got me a card - priceless.

Ah surely I don't qualify til next year!? I'm gonna be one of those stroppy newbie people who are in the door and throwing their weight around obnoxiously but wouldnt it be lovely to have a 'Dads to be' subforum in Pregnant

This is just the start of my pushyness... I cant wait to tell the junior infants teacher that little Trotter can already long divide so please differentiate accordingly

Cue well deserved filthy stare from teacher...

Nevyn · 18-06-2010 5:50pm

Before that would happen there would have to be enough threads in here to warrent it.
You are most welcome to start as many threads as you want from the point of view or the slant of a Dad to be.

Trotter · 18-06-2010 6:19pm

Thaedydal wrote: »

Before that would happen there would have to be enough threads in here to warrent it.
You are most welcome to start as many threads as you want from the point of view or the slant of a Dad to be.

Thanks a lot

Once I sit down and have that panic that this little bundle actually is planning on depending on me for survival, I'm sure I'll start some threads of my own. Right now Im just in blissful denial that I have anything remotely taxing ahead

Nevyn · 18-06-2010 6:33pm

Ha the dad of my kids sort of tought that way until one night the baby started kicking him while we were alseep from in the womb. He woke up wanting to know why I was poking him as it had woke him up and then when I explain the look on his face was priceless and he said " that must be sore" and then rolled over and went back to snoring.

That was the start of the learning curve

CathyMoran · 18-06-2010 6:42pm

Thaedydal wrote: »

Ha the dad of my kids sort of tought that way until one night the baby started kicking him while we were alseep from in the womb. He woke up wanting to know why I was poking him as it had woke him up and then when I explain the look on his face was priceless and he said " that must be sore" and then rolled over and went back to snoring.

That was the start of the learning curve

That is so cute...that is making me broody for another one...my son was constantly kicking his daddy inside, he would also get active when he heard his daddy's voice...they really are wonderful, a lot of work but wonderful.

When our son was born it was his daddy who did his first feed, first nappy as I was recovering from a c-section and was amazing in the first few weeks while I was getting my strenght back.

hacked · 18-06-2010 11:10pm

as for the fathers day thing -- my little girl was born a few weeks shy of mothers day. Now, I thought that it wouldn't count till next year, but everyone wished me happy mothers day and i even got mothersday chocolate. (I didnt actually feel like eating it until i was in labour and scarfing it down in between contractions!!)

Swizzles · 20-06-2010 12:16pm

I agree it had started already

Im due July 14th and got my bf a card and pressie from bump...Made him wait up till midnight last night to give it to him ..Poor soul was shattered going to work this morning hehe

Happy Fathers day to all daddys and daddys to be

d4v1d · 22-06-2010 5:03pm

i feel vindicated in not really having any interest in my partners pregnancy...

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/parenting/deliver-us-from-having-to-be-there-at-the-birth-2229483.html

Nevyn · 22-06-2010 5:20pm

d4v1d if you have no interested in your parters pregnancy that is your choice if this is the case then you shouldn't have any interested in this forum. The parenting forum and it's subforums have a zero tolerance policy for trolling, if you can not contribute to this thread or forum in a constructive manner then don't bother.

d4v1d · 26-06-2010 4:48pm

i have been instructed by the administrator that my views have been deemed non constructive and have a point against me until september.

the fact that i don't want much to do with my partners pregnancy does not negate the fact that i still have to put up will all that it entails. i posted some questions asking how other guys in a similar situation to mine try to put up with this change in their partner as we can do nothing.

the only replies i seemed to get were from pregnant women saying i should try to understand and that i'm a monster for having an opinion contrary to the fact that they think i should be delighted in having to put up with change, i am not thrilled with the changes.

the link i posted only supported the view i had and to find out that there was research that actually supported my feelings on the matter actually helped me a lot more.

to spell it out for everyone
1. i am very happy with my partner
2. i am delighted i am going to be a father
3. i hate having to put up with my partner while she turns into a monster while pregnant when really there is nothing i can do about it and therefore don't even want to bother.

if this board is for fathers then i would really appreciate if pregnant women would stop trying to give me their point of view and maybe allow some fathers to be have a say. just because my view is unpopular with pregnant women it does not mean it is not constructive. it called a different point of view.

granted, in frustration i have probably been harsh with some comments, to which i will tone down in future. but personally it's the very fact everyone seems to insist that men should be thrilled to see their women turn less mentally and physically attractive for nine months ridiculous.

i can see this posting will probably have me banned but to hell with it. if the only thing that guys are allowed to post is 'how radiant she looks' or 'we're pregnant!' then why even bother to have a fathers thread.

hacked · 26-06-2010 9:53pm

d4-- ACTUALLY you have been getting replies from pregnant women, mothers and fathers.

I for one, never once took your posts as trolling. What we are trying to get through to you is this:

You said in your last post that you are not happy about the change and you don't see why everyone thinks you should be. This is naive and immature. If you think THIS change is hard....holy hell, wait till the baby arrives. What makes you think you are going to enjoy/handle that change any better?

Anyone who has either been pregnant or lived with a pregnant woman knows how hard it is on the womans body. It took the two of you to get into this situation, and therefore even just the tiniest bit of UNDERSTANDING really is required. Maybe you don't agree, maybe you don't want to hear it....but as I said to you in your first post...watch out buddy. People do not like being treated like dirt, don't expect them to hang around forever...I certainly didn't with my partner.

Nevyn · 26-06-2010 11:04pm

d4v1d if you want to start a thread on that as a stand alone topic then please do.
This thread is to encourage fathers to be to post in the forum it is not the only place for fathers to be to post.

DublinWriter · 26-06-2010 11:29pm

d4v1d wrote: »

i have been instructed by the administrator that my views have been deemed non constructive and have a point against me until september....i can see this posting will probably have me banned but to hell with it. if the only thing that guys are allowed to post is 'how radiant she looks' or 'we're pregnant!' then why even bother to have a fathers thread.

I remember about four years' ago the BBC Radio Four Womans' Hour programme ran a feature on parents that didn't feel instinctively loving or wonderful about their procreation.

It turned out to be one of the most controversial issues they ever covered with many women corresponding anonymously with the programme stating how out of touch they felt with the official Huggies/Mothercare sponsored version of how childrearing should be and how one should feel about the impending birth of your child.

Despite all the advice that you're given and books you'll read, your reaction will almost certainly be different.

ThePiedPiper · 28-06-2010 11:44am

I think it probably takes men a bit longer to really feel that love or emotional attachment to a baby. After all, the mother has had the baby in her womb for months, can feel every kick, every movement, burps, hiccups even. A dad to be gets told about all these wonderful things but cannot experience them and possibly feels a bit left out. There's a fair bit of catching up to do to get to the same level of attachment as the mother but it does come eventually.

Maybe this difference in pregnancy means that a lot of men find it easier to not involve themselves as they cannot have the same attachment, they cannot be as excited about the kicks, etc.

dexter50 · 06-07-2010 4:09am

Well I am a Dad to be we are due our first on the 23rd November, this is really sweet for us as we had missed miscarriage last december after been trying for a long time to get pregnant,
We are really excited but also scared which I suppose has to be expected.

My wife has gone through the whole morning sickness which actually turned out to be 24hour sickness for 8-9 weeks. It has eased now thankfully but it can come on her at any time and is now getting alot of back pain. Her teeth have also been given her terrible trouble since the start of the pregnancy and we have had a few visits to the dentist.
I feel really bad for her because she is bearing the brunt of it all, and well all i can really do is be there for her and try and offer her support, I feel helpless a lot of the time, have any other dads had experience of this and what have they done.

ThePiedPiper · 06-07-2010 9:14am

Congratulations Dexter,
There's loads you can do for your partner to ease the burden and make her life easier. Hoovering, mopping the floors, cleaning, any housework she normally does, you can try and do some of it.
Also, loads of foot rubs, back and bum massage, bio-oil on her belly to help keep away the stretch marks (trust me, she'll be grateful afterwards when there's none).
Also, you can start looking at buggys, cots, etc and start gettin the baby's room ready.
Also, you could arrange for a couple of weekends away somewhere for the two of you over the next few months. It'll be the last time for a while that ye might get the chance to do this.
Best of luck over the next few months.
Forest

tony33 · 06-07-2010 2:07pm

Greetings all, great stuff on this thread.

first baby due in 3 weeks, getting nervous now.

The wife is gone absolutely loopy this final month of the pregnancy, giving out about everything - and i mean everything. from how i fill the dishwasher, the way i drive, what i have for dinner, even shouting at me because of something that happened on big brother.
Its been mad. Im at the stage of selective deafness. I hope it stops after the baby arrives, theres only so much a man can take.
She is very nervous about the labour part and i guess thats it, so i bite the lip and take it. She is a major worrier about everything so i need ideas to calm her down.

dexter50 · 07-07-2010 3:27am

RunForestRun wrote: »

Congratulations Dexter,
There's loads you can do for your partner to ease the burden and make her life easier. Hoovering, mopping the floors, cleaning, any housework she normally does, you can try and do some of it.
Also, loads of foot rubs, back and bum massage, bio-oil on her belly to help keep away the stretch marks (trust me, she'll be grateful afterwards when there's none).
Also, you can start looking at buggys, cots, etc and start gettin the baby's room ready.
Also, you could arrange for a couple of weekends away somewhere for the two of you over the next few months. It'll be the last time for a while that ye might get the chance to do this.
Best of luck over the next few months.
Forest

cheers Forest:
yeah have been looking after doing the housework and giving her back massages foot rubs and the like and I get the feeling she appreciates it. Its been a tough time for us over the last 7 to 8 months and I have been there for her as much as I can as she has done for me, I have been reading Baby books "what to expect" and I have the Iphone app as well to expand my knowledge but as this is new to both of us I don't always have the answers, and this is where I find it tough I wish i had the knowledge and the ability to make her feel more assured and at ease and have a magic wand to make the queasiness, pains and the uncomfortableness go away, but wouldn't everyone!!!! If Carlsberg did pregnancies maybe this is how they would work!
Anyhow We are getting through it together and learning as we go and even though its a struggle at times we are enjoying the whole experience.
We haven't bought anything yet as we want to buy the first thing for our baby together even if it is only small. We have our big scan on the 19 of jul and once everything is ok we are going to start our shopping and as you say I have been getting ahead of the game by researching on the net and all for best prices. Looking at hotels now to see where we can get away for a few nights..:)

elius · 09-07-2010 1:39pm

Hi all,
Found out 2 weeks ago my partner was pregnant. Came as a big shock to both of us as my partner had been on the pill:eek:. But after the initial shock all has settled and where looking forward to the safe arrival of are baby on the 28th of november.

Ive never done so much house work and cooking in my life lol. But its all good.
Herself has been very lucky no sickness at all eats like a horse though lol.
Cheers

km79 · 30-08-2010 1:05am

wife was due last thursday both getting impatient now feels like it wil never happen:cool:

lukesmom · 30-08-2010 9:04am

km79 wrote: »

wife was due last thursday both getting impatient now feels like it wil never happen:cool:

Oh congratulations! so your wife is now 4 days overdue thats not too bad really I have heard of 2 weeks over! Hopefully it will happen this week. I went 10 days early on my son and 5 weeks early on my daughter. I have 2 tips for her and I know baby will come when he/she wants to but some things can help get things moving:

1. Pure orange juice - I drank small cartons of squeez - must be concentrated and tell her to sip on it throughout the day.
2. A curry, I had a chicken curry the night before I went into labour, hot spicy food helps.

Best of luck to you and your wife it is an amazing experience and will be worth the little wait:)

ThePiedPiper · 30-08-2010 9:07am

Yeah, my wife went 8 days over on our first baby, she was very impatient!! I suppose ye can use this time to stockpile on sleep, see do you know how to use the sterilser, buy some formula, make sure you've plenty of nappies and baby wipes, Sudocream, baby oil, etc. Got everything you need in the hospital bag for baby and mum? A few dinners made up for yourself in the freezer for the first few days when you'll be in and out of the hospital? A list of the people to text/ring with the good news? Best of luck over the next few days, ye'll have a very busy and exciting time of it, an absolute roller coaster. Enjoy.

The Fathers Thread

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