Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Thwip! · 15-04-2013 4:37pm

New one circulating under a picture of a husband and wife in bed

Why Women are special ..(read this complete )

Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and
bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left onthe table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She emptied a waste basket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.

She put both near her bag. Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth.....

Husband called out,
"I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish, then made sure the doors were locked.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, and had a brief conversation with one kid who is still up doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day.

Said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. about that time,

Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.
"I'm going to bed."
And he did... without another thought.

Anything Extraordinary Here?

Share this to phenomenal women today... they' ll love you for it!

And Forward this to as many men as you can so that they know why women are so special......!! !

wnolan1992 · 15-04-2013 4:44pm

Thwip! wrote: »

New one circulating under a picture of a husband and wife in bed

Why Women are special ..(read this complete )

Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and
bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She picked up the game pieces left onthe table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She emptied a waste basket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.

She put both near her bag. Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth.....

Husband called out,
"I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish, then made sure the doors were locked.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day.

Anything Extraordinary Here?

Share this to phenomenal women today... they' ll love you for it!

And Forward this to as many men as you can so that they know why women are so special......!! !

I live alone. I do most of that sh*t every night.

*checks crotch*

No, definitely not a woman...

kunst nugget · 15-04-2013 4:52pm

Thwip! wrote: »

New one circulating under a picture of a husband and wife in bed

Well, if she planned her day out properly like a man instead of leaving everything until the last minute she would have been able to go straight up to bed.

MurdyWurdy · 15-04-2013 4:52pm

wnolan1992 wrote: »

I live alone. I do most of that sh*t every night.

*checks crotch*

No, definitely not a woman...

I'm married and it's my husband who does all that in our house. I like my sleep, I do! I'm fairly sure he 's not a woman either.

Those kind of statuses/updates annoy me so much, it's just people's way of sating boohoo my life is so hard

Bipolar Joe · 15-04-2013 4:57pm

Thwip! wrote: »

New one circulating under a picture of a husband and wife in bed

Why Men are special ..(read this complete )

Husband & Wife were at home when Wife said, "We need milk."

She went to the car and drove to the shopping centre.

Browsed the make up aisle, got her hair done, had a manicure, bought some pants, bought new shoes for the pants and bought more pants because Sharon has more pants than Wife does.

She then ran into Sharon and had a coffee with her even though Wife hates Sharon (The pants hogging whore).

She picked up new earrings, brought the shoes back complaining that they're the wrong size because she's in denial about her monster feet and bought the newest iPhone.

She emptied the joint account for an €800 dress she'll never wear.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the car.

She stopped by Brown Thomas and bought a new handbag and jacket.

She picked up more make up and earrings, hobbled to the till and spent fifteen minutes looking for her purse.

She put both in her bag. Then she called up Margaret to see if she wanted to do lunch.....

Husband called out,
"You back yet?"
"..." she said, because she wasn't.
She gossiped with Margaret about Sharon, then complained that the shoe store gave her the correct size shoes for someone with feet two sizes smaller.

She looked at the bill and had a brief conversation with one guy who wore a suit.

Wife and Margaret passive-aggressively shared the bill; then she bought clothing for the next day.

Got into the car, visualized the amount of crap she bought that day.

Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.
"Fuck it, I'll get milk myself."
And he did... without another thought.

.

daisybelle2008 · 15-04-2013 9:04pm

From Macklemores Facebook

http://cheezburger.com/7318066688

daisybelle2008 · 15-04-2013 9:05pm

:rolleyes:

yerwanthere123 · 15-04-2013 11:09pm

The "Prayers for Boston" posts have already started. I know it's probably well intentioned, but I find things like that utterly crass.

Custardpi · 15-04-2013 11:18pm

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

The "Prayers for Boston" posts have already started. I know it's probably well intentioned, but I find things like that utterly crass.

Haven't seen any of those yet but I'm sure I will. If it wasn't such a serious subject I'd almost be tempted to post something like "Making a Sandwich for Boston", "Watching TV for Boston" or "Organising My Sock Drawer for Boston". All just as much practical help to the victims as rattling off Hail Marys, however well intentioned.

HandsomeDivil · 15-04-2013 11:22pm

Bin laden and he's still up to he's old tricks

Just **** off

leggo · 15-04-2013 11:26pm

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

The "Prayers for Boston" posts have already started. I know it's probably well intentioned, but I find things like that utterly crass.

Don't get the anti-tragedy messages like this, they're just as common as the ones you detail. You'll see several 'RIP's down the feed, then you'll get the one guy who's like "MYEH WHO CARES YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY KNOW HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN SEE YOUR RIP BECAUSE HE'S DEAD". Why do people give out when people talk about a huge talking point?

dirkmeister · 15-04-2013 11:33pm

Some young one has just posted a picture of the poor guy in the wheelchair with the horrific leg injuries, she says "he was running for chirty and lost both his legs, pray for boston"...it has 46,000 "likes"

In my opinion I think that's bad taste

skeleton_boy · 15-04-2013 11:49pm

dirkmeister wrote: »

Some young one has just posted a picture of the poor guy in the wheelchair with the horrific leg injuries, she says "he was running for chirty and lost both his legs, pray for boston"...it has 46,000 "likes"

In my opinion I think that's bad taste

That appears to be photoshopped. People just fishing for likes. Horribly distasteful all round.

TheChevron · 16-04-2013 9:50am

Status: Is Ireland guna be bombed

????

Reply 1: nooooooooo im scared now haha

Reply 2: Lads we could be

Reply 3: We could dho couldn't we ????

Reply 4: you wouldnt kno wi them chinise

kunst nugget · 16-04-2013 9:56am

I know these are from twitter but they give you a peek into the world of the idiots' reaction to the Boston bombings:

http://publicshaming.tumblr.com/tagged/Boston-Marathon

16-04-2013 10:06am

Gunslinger99 wrote: »

Was there ever a big reveal to this gem ?

Yeah, she bought a house. Not really such a surprise, as every status for about the last 3 months has been about buying a house.

"Think we saw the perfect one today!"
"Crushed - someone else has got the house - absolutely devastated!"
"They wouldn't take our offer...absolutely crushed....was our dream home

"

etc etc...

dark crystal · 16-04-2013 10:08am

kunst nugget wrote: »

I know these are from twitter but they give you a peek into the world of the idiots' reaction to the Boston bombings:

http://publicshaming.tumblr.com/tagged/Boston-Marathon

Sweet fukcing Jesus. :mad:

MurdyWurdy · 16-04-2013 10:10am

dark crystal wrote: »

Sweet fukcing Jesus. :mad:

I know, it's awful. First time I've ever seen/heard the term sand monkey. Am a bit shocked, tbh.

RoboRat · 16-04-2013 12:26pm

I know these are from twitter but they give you a peek into the world of the idiots' reaction to the Boston bombings:

http://publicshaming.tumblr.com/tagged/Boston-Marathon

I see the 'Jump to Conclusions' mat has resurfaced...

http://youtu.be/8riXGpPFD34

Mink · 16-04-2013 1:20pm

Frapes just aren't funny anymore, if they ever were.

"I love c0ck" etc

daysleeper · 16-04-2013 1:37pm

In our thoughts Boston! This is so surreal.... sickening to think people would kill innocent children for.. what exactly!! This world makes me sick and some of the people in it should be killed themselves..... Selfish and immoral behaviour!
Especially that the bomber made a Facebook page in commemoration to the bomb victims..... 2days before the actual bomb was set to go off..... SICK WORLD!!!

In reference to to this page being set up at some point over the weekend. It's quite easy to rename a Facebook page, ya feckin' eejit...

kunst nugget · 16-04-2013 1:54pm

The thing about an event like the Boston bombings is the amount of crap you have to read about it from people. I don't mean the 'My thoughts are with the victims' posts. It's a big news event and people are probably naturally going to comment on it. Its people sharing pictures with captions like 'This brave 8 year old boy was running in memory of the Sandy Hook victims and was killed. Share = respect' How hard is it for someone to use Google to verify if this story is bullsh¡t (which it completely is) before sharing it? And who the fück makes up this sh¡t in the first place?

Also, the other posters that boil my piss are the '55 people killed in Iraq. Just saying…' posts in an attempt to show how much more clued in they are. The fact of the matter is before they heard about the Boston bombings they didn't care one bit about the death toll in Iraq or the Afghan wedding massacre but now they can infer how callous and racist their friends are because they commented on the deaths of people at the Boston marathon and not the deaths in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Loughc · 16-04-2013 2:07pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Well, if she planned her day out properly like a man instead of leaving everything until the last minute she would have been able to go straight up to bed.

kunst nugget wrote: »

The thing about an event like the Boston bombings is the amount of crap you have to read about it from people. I don't mean the 'My thoughts are with the victims' posts. It's a big news event and people are probably naturally going to comment on it. Its people sharing pictures with captions like 'This brave 8 year old boy was running in memory of the Sandy Hook victims and was killed. Share = respect' How hard is it for someone to use Google to verify if this story is bullsh¡t (which it completely is) before sharing it? And who the fück makes up this sh¡t in the first place?

Also, the other posters that boil my piss are the '55 people killed in Iraq. Just saying…' posts in an attempt to show how much more clued in they are. The fact of the matter is before they heard about the Boston bombings they didn't care one bit about the death toll in Iraq or the Afghan wedding massacre but now they can infer how callous and racist their friends are because they commented on the deaths of people at the Boston marathon and not the deaths in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Both of these posts made my day! Thank you masked stranger!

leggo · 16-04-2013 4:07pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

The thing about an event like the Boston bombings is the amount of crap you have to read about it from people. I don't mean the 'My thoughts are with the victims' posts. It's a big news event and people are probably naturally going to comment on it. Its people sharing pictures with captions like 'This brave 8 year old boy was running in memory of the Sandy Hook victims and was killed. Share = respect' How hard is it for someone to use Google to verify if this story is bullsh¡t (which it completely is) before sharing it? And who the fück makes up this sh¡t in the first place?

Also, the other posters that boil my piss are the '55 people killed in Iraq. Just saying…' posts in an attempt to show how much more clued in they are. The fact of the matter is before they heard about the Boston bombings they didn't care one bit about the death toll in Iraq or the Afghan wedding massacre but now they can infer how callous and racist their friends are because they commented on the deaths of people at the Boston marathon and not the deaths in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Yes. Just yes to everything you just said.

allym · 16-04-2013 4:18pm

One of my FB "friends" posted that fake picture of the little girl "who died running the marathon", and talked about how sad it was.

(In the picture the girl is CLEARLY wearing a number from a 5k race with the name of the race on it.)

Less than two minutes later she shared the post explaining that the little girl had nothing to do with the marathon.

*bangs head against wall*

Smeggy · 16-04-2013 7:17pm

I have finally broken free of Facebook

I couldn't put up with looking at any more "share this and win" posts, it's what finally put me over the edge!

Ihatecuddles-old · 16-04-2013 7:19pm

Smeggy wrote: »

I have finally broken free of Facebook I couldn't put up with looking at any more "share this and win" posts, it's what finally put me over the edge!

I had to block people from my newsfeed, now there's f*ck all on it!

krudler · 16-04-2013 7:40pm

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I had to block people from my newsfeed, now there's f*ck all on it!

I have exactly 100 friends and see status updates from about 30 of them, the rest is stuff like sites that are easier to see facebook feeds than check the sites a few times a day, pure laziness :pac:

Ihatecuddles-old · 16-04-2013 7:44pm

krudler wrote: »

I have exactly 100 friends and see status updates from about 30 of them, the rest is stuff like sites that are easier to see facebook feeds than check the sites a few times a day, pure laziness :pac:

I've 77 after I deleted the people I don't like or see regularly...and I kept family!

I don't even like Facebook, don't know why I'm on it.

EuskalHerria · 16-04-2013 8:19pm

Pah, I have hundreds of friends. Maybe i'll delete some of the ones I don't actually know and put up a status informing those I haven't deleted. It's never been done before but I think it might really catch on.

CarMe · 16-04-2013 9:19pm

This moronic girl has come out with a lot of gems but I can't even believe my eyes at this one...

"I dnt even like boston fck dem x"

yerwanthere123 · 16-04-2013 9:21pm

CarMe wrote: »

This moronic girl has come out with a lot of gems but I can't even believe my eyes at this one...

"I dnt even like boston fck dem x"

I hope you deleted her

Big Nasty · 16-04-2013 9:26pm

CarMe wrote: »

This moronic girl has come out with a lot of gems but I can't even believe my eyes at this one...

"I dnt even like boston fck dem x"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSR6ZzjDZ94

krudler · 16-04-2013 9:27pm

CarMe wrote: »

This moronic girl has come out with a lot of gems but I can't even believe my eyes at this one...

"I dnt even like boston fck dem x"

What an absolute cunt

Gorilla Rising · 16-04-2013 9:28pm

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I've 77 after I deleted the people I don't like or see regularly...and I kept family!

I don't even like Facebook, don't know why I'm on it.

Delete your account then. Life is better without it!

I have friends that are abroad but I keep in touch via viber etc - which is more for actual friends. I've no time for the Facebook kind.

CarMe · 16-04-2013 9:30pm

I always knew she was along the lines of "hope your ok hun" and the entertainment value kept her on my friends list but I'm absolutely horrified!

EuskalHerria · 16-04-2013 9:34pm

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

I hope you deleted her

I hope her parents were sterilised after their obvious first mistake.

16-04-2013 9:40pm

JohnMearsheimer wrote: »

This is from a girl I worked with in Canada. She is the biggest gom and most delusional person I've ever met. Her Facebook posts keep me entertained!

'Wooo deleting spree is turning out to be quite fun! 100 people gone so far! You should really look into your settings and stuff! It's amazing what you can & cannot control on here! Major clean up of my social networking all round.

Just watched something on tv about Facebook and it was a bit of an eye opener! So I'm going to keep chopping away!! Got a couple of messages so far haha, sorry guys if you don't talk to me how the hell am I supposed to know you read the crap I post on here? You're all essentially stalkers if you're not friends! hahaha'

How can anyone be that arrogant? As if she thinks everyone is just hanging on to her every word. I'm sure most of her 'stalkers' feel the same way about her - she's a random acquaintance like most Facebook 'friends' are.

Ihatecuddles-old · 16-04-2013 9:53pm

fortune wookiee wrote: »

Delete your account then. Life is better without it!

I have friends that are abroad but I keep in touch via viber etc - which is more for actual friends. I've no time for the Facebook kind.

I like to nose on people though

coolhull · 16-04-2013 11:44pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

I know these are from twitter but they give you a peek into the world of the idiots' reaction to the Boston bombings:

http://publicshaming.tumblr.com/tagged/Boston-Marathon

Why are the Americans spending millions of dollars trying to find out who the perpetrators are when all they have to do is look up Facebook or Twitter and find 'the truth'? The CIA, FBI, Homeland Security etc, should know by now that all the answers are to be found on social sites.
Don't they know that the people who use Facebook are never,ever,wrong?

* Ssssiiiiggggghhh. I sometimes weep for humanity*

gnfnrhead · 17-04-2013 1:00am

Mink wrote: »

Frapes just aren't funny anymore, if they ever were.

"I love c0ck" etc

I had a chance to frape someone earlier but couldnt think of anything other than the usual that would still be known as a frape. He spotted his phone before I came up with anything good.

yerwanthere123 · 17-04-2013 2:22am

I thought this was pretty funny!
"got accused of trying to steal weetabix from Tesco a minute ago.. the accuser had fake eye lashes on...for work...in Tesco... what is life"

batistuta9 · 17-04-2013 2:25am

coolhull wrote: »

Why are the Americans spending millions of dollars trying to find out who the perpetrators are when all they have to do is look up Facebook or Twitter and find 'the truth'? The CIA, FBI, Homeland Security etc, should know by now that all the answers are to be found on social sites.
Don't they know that the people who use Facebook are never,ever,wrong?

* Ssssiiiiggggghhh. I sometimes weep for humanity*

Have a look at the conspiracy theories forum, there's a thread on FB being funded by the american gov./CIA/whatever, they backed/created it as database to use on the people and that Zuckerberg is just a front and they regularly use Harvard for this sort of thing

Not really into the whole CT thing but some are a bit interesting :pac:

didn't read the full thing yet but it was created a while ago, nothing to do with the bombings in Boston.

Also they do use FB, Twitter, etc. they were looking for laws to be granted to give them access to the sites, to monitor people - something like an updated form of wiretapping

& remember a while back them two from the UK, one might have been Irish even, that were refused entry after their comments on twitter

Czarcasm · 17-04-2013 6:21am

coolhull wrote: »

Why are the Americans spending millions of dollars trying to find out who the perpetrators are when all they have to do is look up Facebook or Twitter and find 'the truth'? The CIA, FBI, Homeland Security etc, should know by now that all the answers are to be found on social sites.
Don't they know that the people who use Facebook are never,ever,wrong?

* Ssssiiiiggggghhh. I sometimes weep for humanity*

Please, I'm asking nicely and all, but no more use of this phrase. Humanity doesn't give a fcuk and it comes off like you think you're Jesus.

Turtwig · 17-04-2013 6:24am

Czarcasm wrote: »

Please, I'm asking nicely and all, but no more use of this phrase. Humanity doesn't give a fcuk and it comes off like you think you're Jesus.

No they don't but the idiom relates more to the standard of humanity and its reputation or its future prospects.

Czarcasm · 17-04-2013 6:29am

Jernal wrote: »

No they don't but the idiom relates more to the standard of humanity and its reputation or its future prospects.

But it's ONE person in how many billion? I doubt even they could ride around that much that they'd have any impact on the future of humanity or it's intellectual standard! :pac:

Paddy Cow · 17-04-2013 1:13pm

CarMe wrote: »

This moronic girl has come out with a lot of gems but I can't even believe my eyes at this one...

"I dnt even like boston fck dem x"

Please tell me she got a lot of abuse stick for that?

Paddy Cow · 17-04-2013 1:15pm

batistuta9 wrote: »

& remember a while back them two from the UK, one might have been Irish even, that were refused entry after their comments on twitter

I remember that. Story here.

pc7 · 17-04-2013 1:29pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

I know these are from twitter but they give you a peek into the world of the idiots' reaction to the Boston bombings:

http://publicshaming.tumblr.com/tagged/Boston-Marathon

:eek: at those posts. I've never heard the term 'sand monkey'???

blatantrereg · 17-04-2013 1:31pm

Paddy Cow wrote: »

I remember that. Story here.

Hilarious!

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

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