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The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

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    #7262
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    ^^

    To add:

    What's the German for constipation?

    Farfrompoopin


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    #7263
    sdoc13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,340 ✭✭✭sdoc13


    Whats the german for lubricant.

    Dickslider


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    #7264
    chewed
    Registered Users Posts: 3,407 ✭✭✭chewed


    I've got an inferiority complex.

    But frankly, it's not a very good one.


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    #7265
    Valetta
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,611 ✭✭✭Valetta


    pippip wrote: »
    Sold my homing pigeons on ebay, third time this week.

    I tried racing pigeons once, but it didn't work out.

    I couldn't keep up with the f*ckers.


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    #7266
    JCX BXC
    Registered Users Posts: 18,113 ✭✭✭✭JCX BXC


    I thought that would be good, but the punchline was awful.


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    #7267
    tastyt
    Registered Users Posts: 2,017 ✭✭✭tastyt


    A man walking through the Olympic village and sees a guy walking towards him with a big stick on his shoulder.

    Man asks " excuse me, are you a pole vaulter? "

    Reply " no I'm a German, but how did you know my name was Walter ?"


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    #7268
    chughes
    Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭chughes


    Mr Tibbs wrote: »
    A young Guarda rang the desk sergeant in the barracks.
    Sir a woman is after shooting her husband dead for walking on her freshly moped floor.
    Did you arrest her.
    No sir the floor is still wet
    As she said in her statement, "Cillit Bang - Bang! and the dirt is gone....."


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    #7269
    CUCINA
    Registered Users Posts: 692 ✭✭✭CUCINA


    chewed wrote: »
    I've got an inferiority complex.

    But frankly, it's not a very good one.

    Modesty is one of my strong points.


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    #7270
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Procrastinator's reply;






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    #7271
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Procrastinator's reply;






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    #7272
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 33,972 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    We used to have a one-eyed Manx cat.

    Could never tell if it was coming or going.

    Life ain't always empty.



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    #7273
    skinny90
    Registered Users Posts: 2,466 ✭✭✭skinny90


    McChubbin wrote:
    One of my own:

    What is German for "bra"?
    Die Holtzemfromfloppen!

    ....I'll get me coat.
    What's the leading condom brand in Germany?
    Fitzgud-entite


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    #7274
    CUCINA
    Registered Users Posts: 692 ✭✭✭CUCINA


    Top Russian expert on the subject of castration:

    Ivan Akovnokinyurbolokov


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    #7275
    chughes
    Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭chughes


    CUCINA wrote: »
    Top Russian expert on the subject of castration:

    Ivan Akovnokinyurbolokov
    There must be a few experts over there. I've heard about Sergei Kutchakokov.


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    #7276
    eisenberg1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    chughes wrote: »
    There must be a few experts over there. I've heard about Sergei Kutchakokov.

    And Ivan Chopabolokov.............


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    #7277
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,760 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    During the Russian Civil war there were many instances of Mensheviks being dragged through the street by the Bolsheviks.


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    #7278
    eisenberg1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    During the Russian Civil war there were many instances of Mensheviks being dragged through the street by the Bolsheviks.

    Cannot be any worse then getting dragged around by the Balubas:D


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    #7279
    bonzodog2
    Registered Users Posts: 6,210 ✭✭✭bonzodog2


    eisenberg1 wrote: »
    Cannot be any worse then getting dragged around by the Balubas:D

    "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" "No, but I've been swung around by the tits" :D


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    #7280
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Just ask any Scotsman who wears a kilt about how cold it gets around the trossachs in winter.


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    #7281
    rolliepoley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,874 ✭✭✭rolliepoley


    I turned into a cat earlier.

    Don't ask meow.


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    #7282
    Filmer Paradise
    Registered Users Posts: 1,339 ✭✭✭Filmer Paradise


    A teacher asked his class to make a sentence using the word 'contagious'.

    'Measles is contagious' said one pupil.

    'Mumps is contagious' said another.

    Johnny down the back stuck up his hand...

    'Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush. My Daddy says it'll take the contagious to do it!'


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    #7283
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?

    Hand eyeeeyeeeeee


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    #7284
    EoghanIRL
    Registered Users Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭EoghanIRL


    This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

    The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

    He said, "I'm not happy."

    I replied, "Well, which one are you then?


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    #7285
    Oscars Well.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,285 ✭✭✭Oscars Well.


    Why did the sperm cross the road?

    I put on the wrong socks this morning.


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    #7286
    gazump123
    Registered Users Posts: 353 ✭✭gazump123


    What do you call a bagel that can fly?
    A plain bagel


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    #7287
    ohmslaw
    Registered Users Posts: 35 ✭ohmslaw


    EoghanIRL wrote: »
    This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

    The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

    He said, "I'm not happy."

    I replied, "Well, which one are you then?

    So he wasn't even a little happy.


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    #7288
    EoghanIRL
    Registered Users Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭EoghanIRL


    ohmslaw wrote: »
    So he wasn't even a little happy.

    Well that might be a bit short sighted.


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    #7289
    AndThatsAFact
    Registered Users Posts: 85 ✭✭AndThatsAFact


    Man 1: "I can have any woman in this pub."

    Man 2: "How's that then?"

    Man 1: "I'm a rapist."


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    #7290
    CUCINA
    Registered Users Posts: 692 ✭✭✭CUCINA


    PATIENT: Oh, doctor, I don't know how to thank you enough! I'ts just wonderful to be able to hear clearly again after all these years of struggling, trying to join in conversations and all that..."

    DOCTOR: " That's no trouble, glad to be able to help..."

    PATIENT: No, really, it's great now...how much do I owe you, doc?

    DOCTOR: That'll be 300 Euro when you're ready, thanks".

    PATIENT: "WHAT??!!!"


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    #7291
    MRnotlob606
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,642 ✭✭✭MRnotlob606


    What do you call a white girl who can run faster than her brothers ?

    A redneck virgin.


This discussion has been closed.
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