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engagment rings...

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  • 09-07-2009 11:18pm
    #1
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭


    Im engaged- have been for 5 years (we got engaged v early) i picked out my own ring and i adore it because i choose it and its my taste. Its worth jack ****(just over 100euro- he was a student at the time) but it doesnt matter to me.Hes always banging on about getting me a better ring but i dont want one. I adore my one.

    But if me and my fiance broke up i COULDNT BEAR to give him back the ring. I adore it- sounds stupid but i picked it out and its mine(the one he was going to get me before i picked my one out was UGLY- a wishbone style one- uuuggghhh)

    So have you / could you / would you give your engagment ring back if you broke up with your fiance. Maybe i wouldnt give it back because i picked it out and its mine- and i wouldnt want another girl wearing it.

    Any opnions? stories?


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    #2
    orestes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,972 ✭✭✭orestes


    I know of a woman who broke up with her fiance, kept the ring and later used it to finance the down-payent on a mortgage for the house she bought with another guy later down the line.


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    #3
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    orestes wrote: »
    I know of a woman who broke up with her fiance, kept the ring and later used it to finance the down-payent on a mortgage for the house she bought with another guy later down the line.

    very sex and the city:) hence my inspiration for this thread:)

    Must have been a v expensive ring... i would probley get a night out for what my rings worth, my sisters ring cost 7grand- She has it insured!!!:eek:


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    #4
    orestes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,972 ✭✭✭orestes


    Aye, it was an expensive ring alright, and it was about 25 odd years ago too when property was a we bit cheaper than it is these days


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    #5
    blondie7
    Registered Users Posts: 582 ✭✭✭blondie7


    oh id give it back, cant see any point in keeping it after all. Even if he told me to keep it id bin the thing, too many memories every time you look at it!!


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    #6
    Gig Bee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭Gig Bee


    I find this thread very shallow I would trade my engagement ring, my wedding ring and my house just to have my husband back.


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    #7
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Don't quote me on this, but I believe I read somewhere that you are legally obliged to return the ring, as it is an agreement between you that you that you will get married, and when this is no longer the case, the ring is to be returned to the purchaser, as it is a conditional gift.

    Sounds right to me anyway, it'd be a bit messed up to keep it, unless he cheated or lost all your savings on the horses or something.


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    #8
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Yes you are meant to give it back, I offered mine back and it was refused, think it's in a bottom of a drawer somewhere.


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    #9
    Gig Bee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭Gig Bee


    I lament for the females of today!!!
    To value your lifelong relationship and companionship on the price of a ring is perverse.
    I would trade my engagement ring, my wedding ring and my house just to have my husband back.


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    #10
    blondie7
    Registered Users Posts: 582 ✭✭✭blondie7


    Gig Bee wrote: »
    I lament for the females of today!!!
    To value your lifelong relationship and companionship on the price of a ring is perverse.
    I would trade my engagement ring, my wedding ring and my house just to have my husband back.

    what happened your husband??


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    #11
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    Gig Bee wrote: »
    I lament for the females of today!!!
    To value your lifelong relationship and companionship on the price of a ring is perverse.

    I would trade my engagement ring, my wedding ring and my house just to have my husband back.

    No offence hun but we heard ya the first time you posted it there was no need to post it twice seven minutes apart!

    Relationships dont always work and i was not putting it down to a ring! If he wanted it back id give him it but would kill me to know that it would prob go to another girl or be pawned, cos hes hardly gonna wear it himself.


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    #12
    Gig Bee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭Gig Bee


    My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!


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    #13
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    Gig Bee wrote: »
    My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!

    i hope ur not including me in that- i stated my ring cos 100 quid and he wants to get me a more expensive one and ive said no cos i love the one i have.

    This thread was ment to be lighthearted and a general enquiry it wasnt ment to sound vindictive

    And im sorry about your husband- id hate 2 lose my man after 5 and a half years so cant imagine how you feel xxx


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    #14
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Gig Bee wrote: »
    My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I'm fairly confident it's rare enough that people base the suitability of future partners on the price of the ring - if they've already gotten to ring stage, its usually based on more than that. Nobody in this thread has said otherwise,in fact quite the opposite.


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    #15
    Gig Bee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭Gig Bee


    Im sorry.......Maybe Im a bit sensitive.........but u shud cherish ur guys if he loves you. If you a wondering about the value of a ring or about whos going to wear it after you then maybe he is or you are not the one.


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    #16
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    Gig Bee wrote: »
    Im sorry.......Maybe Im a bit sensitive.........but u shud cherish ur guys if he loves you. If you a wondering about the value of a ring or about whos going to wear it after you then maybe he is or you are not the one.

    dont care about my ring hun- could cost 50c(or 20p when i first got "married " when i was 6 ha) and i wouldnt care. Just couldnt bear it to be anyone elses only mine:)

    Think the onion ring thing was adorable- took a lot of cleaning after tho i guess:p


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    #17
    Will
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,183 ✭✭✭✭Will


    Gotta agree with Gig Bee, quite shallow and all me, me, me.

    The fact that you are more worried about keeping a ring than actually falling out with your (hopefully) future husband is quite worrying.


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    #18
    Gig Bee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭Gig Bee


    Still smells a bit but maybe thats me lol> Im thinking of giving it to my daughters boyfriend(of six years) Now dont jump down my neck but its only going to rust away in some drawer the my great grand kids will probally sell for nothing. My daughter has always admired it and it wud make me happy to see her wear it.


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    #19
    Queen-Mise
    Registered Users Posts: 7,461 ✭✭✭Queen-Mise


    im married 6 yrs last sat and still dont have one!

    But then it would be pointless, i periodically wear my wedding ring. Its gorgeous but dont like rings.

    Hubby doesnt mind in the least, he always wears his.

    Although i always wear mine if im going out for a night.


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    #20
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Will wrote: »
    The fact that you are more worried about keeping a ring than actually falling out with your (hopefully) future husband is quite worrying.



    Did she say that? I don't think she did.

    She's allowed have an idle thought about her ring. Perhaps she saw a programme where someone gave the ring back and she thought, "God I could never do that." She's not sitting fretting about the possible demise of her relationship and the subsequent jewelry issues... she just posing a question.

    The hostility to the OP is totally misplaced. She's just attached to her ring, it means a lot to her and she'd want to keep it. I don't think I'd want to give mine back if I ever had one, especially if I had picked it... it would have sentimental value and I'm very sentimental.

    It's got nothing to do with valuing a ring more than a relationship.


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    #21
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    Will wrote: »
    Gotta agree with Gig Bee, quite shallow and all me, me, me.

    The fact that you are more worried about keeping a ring than actually falling out with your (hopefully) future husband is quite worrying.

    Thats your opinion but was a general question wasnt ment to cause offence or sound me me me because im not like that

    If i had wanted to be selfish and me me me i would have taken a more expensive ring when i was offered one

    Just knew a girl who sold her ring after been broken up 2 weeks and made me wonder


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    #22
    Gig Bee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭Gig Bee


    Shellyboo you had a good point up until you stated that op might have based her views on watching a programme! What programme? Jerry Springer? Or maybe she read about it in Heat magazine or HELLO or Ok!
    Thats the shallowness I was referring to.


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    #23
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    Gig Bee wrote: »
    Still smells a bit but maybe thats me lol> Im thinking of giving it to my daughters boyfriend(of six years) Now dont jump down my neck but its only going to rust away in some drawer the my great grand kids will probally sell for nothing. My daughter has always admired it and it wud make me happy to see her wear it.

    why would anyone jump down your neck- its nice to have heirlooms- my ring will prob be wittled down to nothing by the time i have a child old enough to get married (im 23 have no kids yet) so its nice to have those


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    #24
    Will
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,183 ✭✭✭✭Will


    Don't think I'm coming across as hostile, if I am I do apologise.

    Think im barking up the wrong tree, just gonna leave it.

    Thread back on track :)


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    #25
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    Gig Bee wrote: »
    Shellyboo you had a good point up until you stated that op might have based her views on watching a programme! What programme? Jerry Springer? Or maybe she read about it in Heat magazine or HELLO or Ok!
    Thats the shallowness I was referring to.

    Actually Gig bee i did base this on a programme id seen, i was watching sex and the city tonight where Charlotte couldnt give up her engagment ring because she "Likes what it represented" even though they had broken up

    That made me think of my friend and how she could sell her ring after 2 weeks of breaking up... which posed me to ask the question.


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    #26
    Gig Bee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭Gig Bee


    TV programmes are fantasy! People who base their judgement on TV scripts or storylines are doomed. Life bears little resemblance to the contrived happenings of TV sitcoms. They are written for ratings and money. Do you really think SJP is concerned about the one scene in one episode of one series that she acted that would send a message to the world about engagement rings? She was only bothered about her fee for ACTING a part,

    However if your only 23yrs old as you state and your engaged 5yrs that sounds very promising(childhood sweethearts( and I wish you the best of luck:)


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    #27
    Clare Bear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,613 ✭✭✭✭Clare Bear


    Jaysus the OP doesn't want to get rid of her ring, she loves it. She's asking if you broke up with your fiancee/husband would you give it back to them?!

    If he wanted it back I'd give it back, otherwise I'd keep it but it would be kept hidden away, break ups are hurtful enough without having a reminder like that looking at you. I'd never sell it or anything like that though.


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    #28
    Piste
    Registered Users Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    My engagement ring will be a white gold band with a small diamond in the centre and my birthstone to the left of it and my finacé's birth stone to the right.




    (a girl can dream >_>)



    Because it'd be so personal I'd feel horrible giving it back and I dunno if a fiancé could ever give it to another girl as it would be so personalised. At the same time I'd feel awfully guilty keeping it. It's a hard one.


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    #29
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    Gig Bee wrote: »
    TV programmes are fantasy! People who base their judgement on TV scripts or storylines are doomed. Life bears little resemblance to the contrived happenings of TV sitcoms. They are written for ratings and money. Do you really think SJP is concerned about the one scene in one episode of one series that she acted that would send a message to the world about engagement rings? She was only bothered about her fee for ACTING a part,

    However if your only 23yrs old as you state and your engaged 5yrs that sounds very promising(childhood sweethearts( and I wish you the best of luck:)

    It wasnt ment as an general statement as in "i believe everyone thinks like this" and im sure "SJP" doesnt give a crap(tho a lotta tv does influence people)

    We are not childhood sweethearts- i had 2 bitter twisted ****ed up long relationships before i met my fella,i met him by accident and funnily enough id no interest in him at first but he kept bugging me and wore me down, and then after a few dates i started to like him and fell madly in love with him and the rests history:)

    sigh..

    wanna go up stairs and hug him now:)


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    #30
    Gig Bee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25 ✭Gig Bee


    At last a heart string! LOL! F**k the ring Go up and hug him!


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    #31
    Eviledna
    Registered Users Posts: 1,325 ✭✭✭Eviledna


    Is it just me, or has Sex and the City ever caused more than a few arguments with the frivilous questions it poses?
    Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, it's just been the basis for too many a deep and meaningful with the OH (usually correlating with TOM, lol).

    On topic though, I wouldn't want to keep a ring that belonged to a failed relationship. When I broke up with my ex, I quickly got rid of any jewellery and never regretted it. Not that any were diamonds mind (thank god!). I believe an enagement ring is symbolic of the promise, if that's broken, so's the ring.


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