The begrudger attitude towards charity / charitable work

vorbis · 06-11-2007 5:11pm #1

I encounter this in real life as well as on After hours

People who have a problem with other people either doing charitable work or donating to charity.

Firstly giving to charity. There is apparently a right and a wrong way to give to charity. If you give to charity as it makes you feel good, well thats just not right. I've no idea why. The begrudger attitude is that you should feel downright miserable after donating.

Calling someone a "do gooder". This is an ingenious insult. People call Bono a do gooder. It literally means "do good things" yet is meant as an insult! Is anyone else amazed by this?? Imagine if you insulted a soccer player by saying "Oh he just scores goals" or a businessman by saying "He just makes lots of money".

People who don't give to charity or do charity work seem obsessed with the "motive" of people who do. Adi Roche has done some fabulous work with Chernobyl kids yet the focus is on whether its just to make herself look good. It might be but what difference does it make?

I'm curious, do "do gooders" make people feel guilty? Is the begrudgery an attempt to allay that guilt?

Dave! · 06-11-2007 5:16pm

Well I'm sure the begrudgers' only problem would be that someone might be using sick children (for example) as pawns to help further their career.

But if they're giving lots of money to a charity, I don't really give a sh*t what their motive is TBH...... It's the same end-product.

Rob_l · 06-11-2007 5:17pm

This thread will do no good!

I have no problem with people who give to charity do charitable work I do find it objectionable when they feel the need to continously remind others of all the good things they do.

*Page* · 06-11-2007 5:19pm

I hate the ad's on tv and the people on the street...
I give to charity my own way i do not need to be hassled on the street or made feel bad for the fact i have dinner on my plate.

But i feel the same way towards a lot of things people try to push on me, its not solely towards charity

faceman · 06-11-2007 5:23pm

unfortunately if the charities dont get out there and hit the streets they dont get the donations.

H.O.T.A.S. · 06-11-2007 5:37pm

I'm just sick of the emotional blackmailing they use on tv. That and the chuggers asking for your bank account details in the middle of a crowded street.

SUNGOD · 06-11-2007 5:38pm

i think the phrase " do gooder " is mainly used if someone is trying to do good in what people think is a bad or unjust way .EG someone campaigning for the rights of a mass murderer/rapist to have soft towels in his prision cell.ok that may sound extreme but i have heard it used in my area lately where travellers are parked in a buisness park causing trouble and demanding money to leave and the "do gooders " are against their eviction as it infringes on their civil rights .what about the rights of the people paying rent on the buisness park ?

Degsy · 06-11-2007 5:41pm

I hate chuggers and do-gooders.I hate Bono,Bob Geldof and Sting.I also hate Heather Mills and anybody else who uses their so-called charitable work to further their own standing,massage thier ego or make a few bob.Its ironic really that the larger charities have boards of directors paid hundreds of grand a year and the celebrity crusaders are usually multi-millionaires.If i want to help i'll do so in my own way but i wont be bullied into handing over money to hypocrites.

*Page* · 06-11-2007 5:49pm

H.O.T.A.S. wrote: »

I'm just sick of the emotional blackmailing they use on tv. That and the chuggers asking for your bank account details in the middle of a crowded street.

could they not use the €13 an hour they pay the fe€kers to feed hungry children?

Muff_Daddy · 06-11-2007 5:56pm

I agree with the OP actually, it seems no-one in this country can do a good deed without a certain few people questioning whether there is an alteriar motive for doing so.

Taking the Bono example, sometimes I really don't get the hate for the guy, and people are just jumping on the bandwagon because it's 'cool to hate Bono'. He does good things, and whether or not he's in the public eye when he's dong is irrevelant. He's the lead singer in the biggest band in the world for god sake, of course he's going to be in the public eye. Bill Gates and Oprah Winphry do charatible work, and are praised for doing so, hell Bono is a demi-god in America, which really shows the Irish anti-goodwill attitude. Maybe he is a d!ckhead, and deserves the stick he gets, but he really shouldn't be slagged off for charity.

Oh, I did bump into him once in his hotel around 3 years ago, and all I can say is, shades in a lounge......what a sap

H.O.T.A.S. · 06-11-2007 6:00pm

*Page* wrote: »

could they not use the €13 an hour they pay the fe€kers to feed hungry children?

I know it's disgusting! If you are being paid €13 an hour the least you could do is wash!

Degsy · 06-11-2007 6:01pm

Muff_Daddy wrote: »

I agree with the OP actually, it seems no-one in this country can do a good deed without a certain few people questioning whether there is an alteriar motive for doing so.

Taking the Bono example, sometimes I really don't get the hate for the guy, and people are just jumping on the bandwagon because it's 'cool to hate Bono'. He does good things, and whether or not he's in the public eye when he's dong is irrevelant. He's the lead singer in the biggest band in the world for god sake, of course he's going to be in the public eye. Bill Gates and Oprah Winphry do charatible work, and are praised for doing so, hell Bono is a demi-god in America, which really shows the Irish anti-goodwill attitude. Maybe he is a d!ckhead, and deserves the stick he gets, but he really shouldn't be slagged off for charity.

Oh, I did bump into him once in his hotel around 3 years ago, and all I can say is, shades in a lounge......what a sap

One reasonis because he's so scabby he took a woman to court over a cowboy hat and a pair of jocks.On one hand he's urging leaders to let the third world off the hook finacially and on the other he's trying to bankrupt somebody who hasnt got much money because he's a scabby wanker.The only work i'm positive that Bono does is work extremely hard to avoid paying a penny in tax in this country,"drop the debt" is a wooly concept anyway,the third world arent poor because we wont give them money but because of the corruption of third world governments.

Muff_Daddy · 06-11-2007 6:07pm

Degsy wrote: »

One reasonis because he's so scabby he took a woman to court over a cowboy hat and a pair of jocks.On one hand he's urging leaders to let the third world off the hook finacially and on the other he's trying to bankrupt somebody who hasnt got much money because he's a scabby wanker.The only work i'm positive that Bono does is work extremely hard to avoid paying a penny in tax in this country,"drop the debt" is a wooly concept anyway,the third world arent poor because we wont give them money but because of the corruption of third world governments.

He may be a wanker, I'm not disputing that, but the whole 'who does he think he is giving to charity when he's bleeden loaded' attitude annoys me. It's like he has no right to do so. And yes, he has done a good deal for charity, but re: Third World Debt, he's fighting a battle he can't win there.

Spook_ie · 06-11-2007 6:07pm

Degsy wrote: »

One reasonis because he's so scabby he took a woman to court over a cowboy hat and a pair of jocks.On one hand he's urging leaders to let the third world off the hook finacially and on the other he's trying to bankrupt somebody who hasnt got much money because he's a scabby wanker.The only work i'm positive that Bono does is work extremely hard to avoid paying a penny in tax in this country,"drop the debt" is a wooly concept anyway,the third world arent poor because we wont give them money but because of the corruption of third world governments.

So why not support local charities like SVDP or Simon Community?

*Page* · 06-11-2007 6:10pm

H.O.T.A.S. wrote: »

I know it's disgusting! If you are being paid €13 an hour the least you could do is wash!

i dont care about that side of itifs a charty based thing why not get voulenteers to do it!

06-11-2007 6:12pm

Maybe there is an inferance that you think your better than the other person, if you advertise to them what you do for charity.
Because people who broadcast that they go to mass, with a smug I deserve a medal head annoy me.

phasers · 06-11-2007 6:22pm

fair play to someone for helping others
I just hate when people brag about it

such as Bono
self riteous tw*t

Jesus Wept · 06-11-2007 6:39pm

phasers wrote: »

fair play to someone for helping others
I just hate when people brag about it

such as Bono
self riteous tw*t

Bono gets some abuse around these parts.

He is attempting to move things along on a bigger scale than him just making personal donations.

Getting countries to commit to writing off debt. He can hardly put pressure on them quietly: 'ah go on, go on, ya will ya will ya will.'

He must involve the media to put any pressure on Governments.

Ciaran500 · 06-11-2007 6:52pm

Degsy wrote: »

One reasonis because he's so scabby he took a woman to court over a cowboy hat and a pair of jocks.On one hand he's urging leaders to let the third world off the hook finacially and on the other he's trying to bankrupt somebody who hasnt got much money because he's a scabby wanker

They took her to court over something stolen from them and they didn't try to claim the legal charges off her. What a wanker :rolleyes:

Trojan911 · 06-11-2007 6:55pm

I've always maintained that if I won big on the lottery I would not give cash to charities. Instead I would call a meeting of the directors of my chosen charities and ask them what they need and then buy it for them.

To me giving money to charities is a no no. Not all of the money given is put towards the charity.

At the moment, apart from chucking the odd cent into the ISPCC or Mary Mount Hospice (Cancer) box, I do volunteer work, Irish Red Cross etc. That's my contribution at the moment.

So, to answer the question, it doesn't bother me who gives what to whom. It's their money & if they want to crow about it let them.

TJ911...

Gekko · 06-11-2007 7:45pm

don't let the begrudgers grind you down!

Fair play to anyone who does stuff for charity.

I'm doing a bit of fundraising at the moment and admittedly I've annoyed some contacts of mine by asking for their support.

But I've tried to do it in a laid-back slightly self-deprecating way.

Then again I'm sure some of them think I'm a smug do-gooding wánker...!

pretty-in-pink · 06-11-2007 8:40pm

Do nice stuff, why not? It's nice to be nice. It's when it's used as a "look at me, I'm great" thing that people get annoyed. Real charity is it's own reward, not basking in the glow of people sayig "fair play to you".

Jay D · 06-11-2007 8:43pm

I believe that there is too much corruption in charities to bother.

Also I am fed up with people standing outside shops and **** in your face.

I used to donate to Concern and also Amnesty but tbh Concern cannot be giving all money to charity.

Amnesty I don't always agree with.

invincibleirish · 06-11-2007 8:54pm

i work with a volunteer group in my locale one day a week and to be honest,as a lazy student, im doing it as much to balance my karma out as much as helping out!

its quite boring though,mainly just office work,tis i who have to send off letters and reply to annoying local politicians with enormous egos

me: "hi there please if you could help us with our project"

local pol. #1: "yes i support your cause,let me mention it in my literature and have a photo of me and the kids in the literature i send out"

me: "why thank you,seeing as you are on this local council ctte./have access to this minister/play golf with the county manager could you help us out as we promote cause x and apply for funding?"

local pol. #1: "yes let me get back to you on that..."

6 months later (some money secured through sheer graft and very, very little help from any local pol. just hard graft from the full time project manager)

local pol. #1 to #12 to local press and anyone who'll listen "we are responsible for this glorious success for our great town".........b@stards.....

thefinalstage · 06-11-2007 8:57pm

Gekko wrote: »

don't let the begrudgers grind you down!

Fair play to anyone who does stuff for charity.

I'm doing a bit of fundraising at the moment and admittedly I've annoyed some contacts of mine by asking for their support.

But I've tried to do it in a laid-back slightly self-deprecating way.

Then again I'm sure some of them think I'm a smug do-gooding wánker...!

A prime example! Why did you have to tell us that you are doing charity work?

vorbis · 06-11-2007 9:08pm

thelastangryman, you are a prime example of what I'm on about!!

What about Gekko's fundrasing annoys you so much?
As far as I can see, he's raising money for a good cause. Fair play to him, leave him at it.
Is he making you feel guilty about not giving much money to charity?

thefinalstage · 06-11-2007 9:17pm

vorbis wrote: »

thelastangryman, you are a prime example of what I'm on about!!

What about Gekko's fundrasing annoys you so much?
As far as I can see, he's raising money for a good cause. Fair play to him, leave him at it.
Is he making you feel guilty about not giving much money to charity?

Guilty? No, I just don't give a crap about charities. He felt the need to point out his charity work. I just pointed out that that is what annoys me. His "need" for reassurance.

pretty-in-pink · 06-11-2007 9:25pm

thelastangryman wrote: »

Guilty? No, I just don't give a crap about charities. He felt the need to point out his charity work. I just pointed out that that is what annoys me. His "need" for reassurance.

Agreed- if its truly being done for a good cause (aside from cases where you are selling ribbons etc, when you need peoples attention), then why do you need to tell people? Its hypocritical, to say you are doing good for the world etc, and then tell everyone about it for the praise. Just do your thing.

vorbis · 06-11-2007 9:29pm

pretty-in-pink wrote: »

Agreed- if its truly being done for a good cause (aside from cases where you are selling ribbons etc, when you need peoples attention), then why do you need to tell people? ITs hypocritical

This ties back to my second point about "motive". Why do YOU care what his motive for doing it is? As I mentioned in the first post, you imply the people selling ribbons are collecting for charity in the "wrong" fashion (they gain attention).

Why does it matter to you? This is exactly the begrudgery I am talking about. The end result is the same, money collected for a good cause. What difference does their motive have????

AlmightyCushion · 06-11-2007 9:34pm

vorbis wrote: »

This ties back to my second point about "motive". Why do YOU care what his motive for doing it is? As I mentioned in the first post, you imply the people selling ribbons are collecting for charity in the "wrong" fashion (they gain attention).

Why does it matter to you? This is exactly the begrudgery I am talking about. The end result is the same, money collected for a good cause. What difference does their motive have????

I don't think she is saying that people selling ribbons are collecting for charity in the "wrong" fashion. It's just the way she phrased the sentence.

I think she is saying that you shouldn't need to tell people unless you are selling ribbons because you have to get peoples attention.

Del2005 · 06-11-2007 9:35pm

The-Rigger wrote: »

Bono gets some abuse around these parts.

He is attempting to move things along on a bigger scale than him just making personal donations.

Getting countries to commit to writing off debt. He can hardly put pressure on them quietly: 'ah go on, go on, ya will ya will ya will.'

He must involve the media to put any pressure on Governments.

What p!sses me off about Bono is that he wants us to write off third world debt. Fair enough, but that debt is part of our countires balance sheet and that twat doesn't even pay tax here. So he wants us to write off debt which may lead to tax hikes, everything still needs paying for, and he moved all his money out of the country to avoid paying tax. It's the cheek of him.

As for others giving to charity or doing charity work, fair enough. But I've read too much about how charities only give a small % of what they collect out, the rest goes on pay and expensises.

In my work they adpoted a village in Kenya and built a school and hospital. I've no problem with this I even gave some money, but then the organising committee went over to look at what we built and take pictures to show us all. All well and good, they even paid for it themselves. What would have been much better would have been for then to send over the money for their plane tickets and a digital camera for the pictures, no need for 10 white people to go over and act like gods cause we built a school

The begrudger attitude towards charity / charitable work

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