Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Kaching · 05-01-2012 11:16pm

stupidusername wrote: »

Another thing though, does anybody have a real problem with admitting to feeling that bad to a doctor / psych when they ask how you've been? I couldn't admit it to my very first doctor a few years back, and if I had I'd have been in counselling by now. I hate saying it.

At first is was a pride thing with me . Now I just dont want to say it because I always get the feeling that when I say it now they half expect it and are mentally rolling their eyes at me

girlonfire · 06-01-2012 2:20am

I'm at my wits end here:(
I'm in a constant state of anxiety. I feel sick to my stomach sitting here. I feel totally overwhelmed by different things happening in my life at the moment. I've got exams coming up in the next few days and I've tried and tried to study and the concentration just isn't there. I feel completely on edge. I haven't slept during the night for about two weeks now so I'm just sleeping for a few hours here and there throughout the day.
I am so ****ing sick of this.

starviewadams · 06-01-2012 4:09am

Could you go to your doc and explain to him/her about your problems sleeping?I know when I don't get proper sleep I feel even worse then usual.

neemish · 06-01-2012 12:06pm

I've had depression/anxiety for a LONG time, and still have good/bad/completely s%&t days.

For years, it seemed like there was no hope. all my GP could offer me was a shoulder to cry on and the assurance that "there's a key to this somewhere, we just have to find it"

and do you know what, she was right. Baby steps all the way but there are better days.

I've been working with a psychotherapist for about six years now, I'm with my current one for three years.
I was in hospital twice last year, once for a twelve week "stretch" and had to change meds a couple of times, but my life is actually improving.

The biggest thing I've learned is about asking for help. Ringing people to make an emergency appt if I need it, or just saying "I'm suicidal today". I still hate myself, i still think of harming myself, i still have problems. But I'm less afraid of being "locked up" or if people will think I'm mad. Feck it, if I need help I'm going to get it.

So what I would say is go to A and E, go into hospital, find some one you can really talk to. We are not just statistics, we are people and we deserve better than a line at the end of a news bulletin saying "there were no suspicious circumstances"

cloud493 · 06-01-2012 11:41pm

I just feel absolutely dreadful at the moment

but I hate going to the doctor and asking for more anti depressants.

girlonfire · 07-01-2012 1:50am

starviewadams wrote: »

Could you go to your doc and explain to him/her about your problems sleeping?I know when I don't get proper sleep I feel even worse then usual.

Thanks starview. Yeah, I suppose I should do that. I find it very hard to sleep without sleeping tablets but I don't want to be taking them all the time either you know?
So now, I'm at home alone drinking instead of studying. Very sensible of me. I just want to escape so badly.

stupidusername · 07-01-2012 1:51am

will you at least be able to sleep tonight, after the drinking?

girlonfire · 07-01-2012 1:53am

cloud493 wrote: »

I just feel absolutely dreadful at the moment but I hate going to the doctor and asking for more anti depressants.

I totally understand not wanting to go in asking but you have to do what's best for you at the moment. Taking things through with your gp might be helpful too. It's really **** when you're so low. I'm there myself at the moment, but I'd urge you to reach out - to someone you trust.
Hope it lifts a bit soon,x

girlonfire · 07-01-2012 2:25am

stupidusername wrote: »

will you at least be able to sleep tonight, after the drinking?

I hope so. Even just a few hours would be great.
How are you feeling today? Do you think you'll be okay until Thursday? I suppose it's probably best to take it on a day to day basis.

cloud493 · 07-01-2012 2:42am

girlonfire wrote: »

I totally understand not wanting to go in asking but you have to do what's best for you at the moment. Taking things through with your gp might be helpful too. It's really **** when you're so low. I'm there myself at the moment, but I'd urge you to reach out - to someone you trust.
Hope it lifts a bit soon,x

Thanks

I'l try at least

stupidusername · 07-01-2012 2:46am

The drink might help but it may not be good sleep.here's hoping it is.

I'm doin ok today thanks. My life has become about each day as it comes unfortunately.right now thursday seems like a lifetime away,in between i'll be up and down so many times.but I feel generally better than I was before Christmas. I think the extra bad mood may have been part of the side effect of upping my dose. I've a feeling though that i'll get nowhere in terms of a decision about my meds with the psych. But I may at least be put further up the list for talk therapy. We'll just have to see

girlonfire · 07-01-2012 4:55am

I think taking each day(each hour) as it comes is the only way to get through the tough periods. It's ridiculous how long you have to wait for talk therapy but hopefully the psych will help move that along a bit.

cloud493 · 07-01-2012 11:33am

10 months without self harm... Just trying to cling to that.

Seren_ · 07-01-2012 1:10pm

cloud493 wrote: »

10 months without self harm... Just trying to cling to that.

That's brilliant, well done x

It's ridiculous how long people have to wait to see a counsellor/psychologist etc through the HSE. I was really lucky in that I was at college when I got sick first, so I could access all of those services quickly enough (there still is a huge waiting list, but you usually get seen within a few weeks the first time) and for free

It's very unfair, everyone should have the same opportunity.

Kaching · 07-01-2012 2:40pm

girlonfire wrote: »

I think taking each day(each hour) as it comes is the only way to get through the tough periods. It's ridiculous how long you have to wait for talk therapy but hopefully the psych will help move that along a bit.

least your psych cares enough about you to try move it along mine says 6-9 months waiting list . Deal with it

Temaz · 07-01-2012 3:16pm

I feel bad about feeling good in this thread:P

Being serious though, I was in hell a few months back both depression and anxiety wise. I was at rock bottom and thought life was not worth living.

Now a few months on with the right meds I am back on form.

So, everyone who feels like they are in hell now and see no way out, hold on!!

I am living evidence that things do get better!!

DeVore · 07-01-2012 3:25pm

Yeah, I'm in a great place at the moment. I've been kinda unwilling to share that because I dont want it to come across as "weeee, I'm doing great everything is wonderful in *my* life..." but then I also thought "jesus if we only ever post when we are down, thats not exactly something to bring anyone some hope, is it".

Since starting that thread on AH I've been working hard internally and seem to have made some serious progress in a few areas. Getting a big, completely out of the blue, hug from my dad at Xmas was a big boost too. You should have seen him scurry out of the room immediately so he didnt have to deal with the emotional element face to face but I know that took a lot for him and left me knocked out!

I'm spinning up and heading to the surface and its good. I broke out of the rut, kicked the hobgoblin[1] in the balls and I'm moving in the right direction.

I hope you can all read this the way I want you to. This is whats in store for you if you want it and work for it cos its not easy but you know what, its not as hard as the Hobgoblin would like you to think.

DeV
[1]The hobgoblin is what I thought of my depression when I was a lad, I didnt know what it was but I also worked out it wasnt part of *me*. I imagine it as a nasty little fecker whispering in my ear and running me down. He doesnt want you to get treatment cos it kills him so of course he's going to tell you its not worth it. Kick him in the balls.

thrilledskinny · 08-01-2012 12:32am

I'd like to add to the feeling good stories.... there is hope ;-)

Have been feeling really good lately....

even having had to come down my meds really quickly due to medical reasons.....

am so thrilled not to have sunk back into a black hole....

dont feel like going to bed all the time either yipee ;-)

only one hurdle and thats work ;-(

and an inability to wake up or get up early !!!

Seren_ · 08-01-2012 3:44pm

Well to counterbalance all the happy posts (good job guys, hope I can be there someday too), I feel like absolute sh1t today.

Princess Peach · 08-01-2012 3:50pm

I had a pretty great year in 2011 mood wise. No long spells of feeling down

Starting back in college now so counseling is free again! I still have issues I need to sort out and that are affecting my life but just couldn't afford the €50 I was paying per hour for my great counselor last year.

So gonna take every advantage of it this year while I'm studying!

Kaching · 08-01-2012 4:00pm

Your Text Here wrote: »

I feel like absolute sh1t today.

Yeah I here ya

Giggedy · 08-01-2012 6:57pm

Needed to talk to someone , so glad I found this thread and I'm not the only one who feels crap. Don't think I can go to work tomorrow, afraid I'd burst into tears or something. It's such a pain in the ass! I know it's irrational but can't snap myself out of this bout of anxiety that started on Friday . Any suggestion on how to get through the week? Didnt sleep til 5 am last night

LegacyUser · 08-01-2012 7:01pm

Been crying for the past two days, was looking at tablets and wondering how many it would take to kill myself. Time to make that first doctor visit...

Kaching · 08-01-2012 7:09pm

Hun , Im in the exact same boat . Life returns to normal but my life wont

girlonfire · 08-01-2012 7:47pm

cloud493 wrote: »

10 months without self harm... Just trying to cling to that.

That's brilliant :-)

Temaz · 08-01-2012 11:19pm

cloud493 wrote: »

10 months without self harm... Just trying to cling to that.

Well done mate, this is coming from an ex self harmer. Focus on the positive and fight the urge. I still get the urge when things are bad but I resist it and feel better for it.

ashblag · 08-01-2012 11:38pm

Glad some posters are feeling good but i Could do with a wish right now....massive mood variations, massive massive anxiety about work tomorrow having not left the house for the weekend. no sleep will be gotten tonight

Kaching · 09-01-2012 12:12am

Cant pull myself out of bed but glad most others are doing well

doctor evil · 09-01-2012 3:13am

Any got any experiences with sertraline?

Been on it for a while now and I've noticed my bladder has become a lot more sensitive.

Kaching · 09-01-2012 4:20pm

doctor evil wrote: »

Any got any experiences with sertraline?

didnt last 2 weeks on it the mood and impulses were dire

starviewadams · 09-01-2012 4:47pm

doctor evil wrote: »

Any got any experiences with sertraline?

Been on it for a while now and I've noticed my bladder has become a lot more sensitive.

Was on it for a month or so,improved my mood a fair bit but gave me difficulty sleeping so was switched to citalopram.SSRI's effect everyone in different ways though.

Mention the bladder sensitivity to your doc and see what he/she says.

talullah · 09-01-2012 11:17pm

Anyone been on ciprapine?? only on it so no side affects as of yet for me.

starviewadams · 10-01-2012 1:09am

That's what I was put on after sertraline,was on them (60mg) from January last year until December,didn't really do anything (good or bad) for me so the doc has me on effexor now.

WalterMitty · 10-01-2012 2:27am

starviewadams wrote: »

That's what I was put on after sertraline,was on them (60mg) from January last year until December,didn't really do anything (good or bad) for me so the doc has me on effexor now.

Cant understand why doctors keep patients on medicines that arent heloing for so long. 2-3months should be ample to assess if its helping. Did he not suggest adding another medication to the sertraline?

Also to the posters feeling well above, i think it is important to share how you are doing when things are going well. You rarely see posts on internet mental health forums about doing well as people tend to not visit such forums when they are well. It is good to give others hope that they too can be well in future.

cojack101 · 10-01-2012 2:29am

Hi Guys.

Any support groups in Dublin that meet? This forum is my only outlet on the topic.

Im in a lesser of the bad places now... but I can hear the black dog scratching at the door.. and Im trying to get everything ready for when it gets in.

I can find a ton of info on addiction support groups but none on depression. I did St. Catherines in Tallaght last year.. no offence to them, they were great, but it didn't help.

I would much prefer a group experience, like this forum. Because when I read it, it lets me know I'm not alone.

WalterMitty · 10-01-2012 2:39am

cojack101 wrote: »

Hi Guys.

Any support groups in Dublin that meet? This forum is my only outlet on the topic.

Im in a lesser of the bad places now... but I can hear the black dog scratching at the door.. and Im trying to get everything ready for when it gets in.

I can find a ton of info on addiction support groups but none on depression. I did St. Catherines in Tallaght last year.. no offence to them, they were great, but it didn't help.

I would much prefer a group experience, like this forum. Because when I read it, it lets me know I'm not alone.

There is loads of meetings in Dublin city centre AFAIK. Dublin cental mission on Abbey Street beside LUAS seems to have all sorts of support groups. Also St Patricks hospital Dublin 8 has regular groups of Aware meetings and lectures that are open to public.
Check aware website.

degausserxo · 10-01-2012 2:43am

cojack101 wrote: »

. I did St. Catherines in Tallaght last year.. no offence to them, they were great, but it didn't help.

There myself at the minute, lovely people.

Cannot sleep for the life of me. So incredibly tired, I think the last good nights sleep I got was after getting all of my wisdom teeth out in august! Spent hours last night bordering on the edge of sleep only to be jolted awake by little panic attacks. Dreams are considerably more lucid and strange when I do finally get to sleep too.. It's like because my brain's not.. Relaxed or whatever for a considerable amount of time that it's just my body resting and not my mind.

degausserxo · 10-01-2012 2:46am

talullah wrote: »

Anyone been on ciprapine?? only on it so no side affects as of yet for me.

I was on it five years ago (different brand, same chemicals) with no effect whatsoever, side or otherwise. Hope it works for you though.

cojack101 · 10-01-2012 2:47am

degausserxo wrote: »

There myself at the minute, lovely people.

Cannot sleep for the life of me. So incredibly tired, I think the last good nights sleep I got was after getting all of my wisdom teeth out in august! Spent hours last night bordering on the edge of sleep only to be jolted awake by little panic attacks. Dreams are considerably more lucid and strange when I do finally get to sleep too.. It's like because my brain's not.. Relaxed or whatever for a considerable amount of time that it's just my body resting and not my mind.

I hear you. I've spent many a night at the garage by the spawell or walking Tesco Dundrum.

WalterMitty · 10-01-2012 2:49am

degausserxo wrote: »

There myself at the minute, lovely people.

Cannot sleep for the life of me. So incredibly tired, I think the last good nights sleep I got was after getting all of my wisdom teeth out in august! Spent hours last night bordering on the edge of sleep only to be jolted awake by little panic attacks. Dreams are considerably more lucid and strange when I do finally get to sleep too.. It's like because my brain's not.. Relaxed or whatever for a considerable amount of time that it's just my body resting and not my mind.

Try listening to a guided relaxation video on youtube. Focusing on and being mindfull of your breathing can help distract you from anxious thoughts.

degausserxo · 10-01-2012 2:53am

WalterMitty wrote: »

Try listening to a guided relaxation video on youtube. Focusing on and being mindfull of your breathing can help distract you from anxious thoughts.

I've a few apps downloaded onto my phone that have some nice ones, just a bit afraid that I'll get panicky if the focus is so intently on myself, if that makes sense. Think it's time to bring the dog for a walk.. The poor thing'll be so confused!

WalterMitty · 10-01-2012 2:57am

degausserxo wrote: »

I've a few apps downloaded onto my phone that have some nice ones, just a bit afraid that I'll get panicky if the focus is so intently on myself, if that makes sense. Think it's time to bring the dog for a walk.. The poor thing'll be so confused!

You have to constantly return your mind to something like the movement of your abdomen as you breathe or on a mantra like "relax" which you keep repeating in your mind as a distraction.

degausserxo · 10-01-2012 3:04am

WalterMitty wrote: »

degausserxo wrote: »

I've a few apps downloaded onto my phone that have some nice ones, just a bit afraid that I'll get panicky if the focus is so intently on myself, if that makes sense. Think it's time to bring the dog for a walk.. The poor thing'll be so confused!

You have to constantly return your mind to something like the movement of your abdomen as you breathe or on a mantra like "relax" which you keep repeating in your mind as a distraction.

Yeah, I understand. For the last few weeks I spent in Pieta House last year there was a group of about six of us and two therapists, and mindfulness featured a lot. It's amazing how something so basic can affect and help really. Right now a walk might be the best option though! So on that note, I bid ye a good night.

starviewadams · 10-01-2012 5:18am

cojack101 wrote: »

Hi Guys.

Any support groups in Dublin that meet? This forum is my only outlet on the topic.

Im in a lesser of the bad places now... but I can hear the black dog scratching at the door.. and Im trying to get everything ready for when it gets in.

I can find a ton of info on addiction support groups but none on depression. I did St. Catherines in Tallaght last year.. no offence to them, they were great, but it didn't help.

I would much prefer a group experience, like this forum. Because when I read it, it lets me know I'm not alone.

http://www.aware.ie/help/support_groups_map/

talullah · 10-01-2012 11:03am

degausserxo wrote: »

I was on it five years ago (different brand, same chemicals) with no effect whatsoever, side or otherwise. Hope it works for you though.

Aw hopefully it will work, not in a good place at all right now. Its so annoying when you feel yourself slipping again and there's no amount of fighting against it will stop it, had been doing well for quite a while

Temaz · 10-01-2012 4:06pm

Having a downer of a day:mad:

jammstarr · 10-01-2012 5:19pm

talullah wrote: »

Aw hopefully it will work, not in a good place at all right now. Its so annoying when you feel yourself slipping again and there's no amount of fighting against it will stop it, had been doing well for quite a while

What doesn't work for someone else might work great for you. Best of luck on it

Temaz · 10-01-2012 5:23pm

Have my appointment at the end of this month, hoping for a change in my sleeping pill as the Stilnoct have lost their punch.

Kaching · 10-01-2012 6:01pm

starviewadams wrote: »

sertraline,

worst drug ever imo

MUSEIST · 10-01-2012 6:25pm

Kaching wrote: »

worst drug ever imo

I have been on sertraline for 6 weeks now and have had no side effects what so ever thankfully. Thats in sharp contrast to mirtazapine, trazodone and escitalopram which alll gave me terrible side effects and I had to stop taking them. So far so good on the sertraline, really shows how everyone reacts differently to these meds.:)

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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