Annoying traits of radio presenters.....

Guess who - Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Eamon Dunphys faux rebel persona, his chumminess with his gang of friends and his railing against RTE personalities/wages when you know he picks up a handsome stipend.

George Hook - 'Back up the truck' 'Hald on a while now' and 'I love Sky'

NB. That last one was tongue in cheek..;)

Sean O'Rourke pronouncing "The Guardian" as "The Guardgin".

Sean moncrieff,on newstalk for ever going eh eh eh eh before he says something.

Christ it must be tough being perfect.

Ciaran Murphy on Off the Ball. Lisp

aaahhh (sharp intake of breath akin to Ray D'arcy before he decides to campaign on some other crusade as jaaany kaaaly laughs moronically)

Here is the comprehensive list:

Ray Foley: 'the big shoooww', 'i was spotted today', you know what, I hope you get spotted by a sniper team who use cat turds instead of live rounds and who have an uncanny talent for targeting the human mouth.

Tony Fenton: 'Rully greaat toooon' in reference to a madonna track, or else a reference to someone who maybe recorded a track in the today fm studio six years ago as having 'just popped in'. No Tony, Lilly Allen was paid a fee and only came on your show to promote her record. Also referring to someone's current song as the 'new song' from that artist. Maybe the most current thing written by Beethhoven was his Ninth Symphony but it is by no means new.

Ray D'arcy: pretty much covered above.

Everyone on 2fm: will leahy SHOUTY MAN WHO DOESN'T KNOW THAT HE DOESN'T NEED TO SHOUT, OWING TO THE WONDERS OF MODERN BROADCASTING. Ruth whatever from caslterea. Rick O'Shea who sounds like he gets elocution lessons from Tony Fenton when he's stoned. Don't know any of the others. Oh and of course RYAN TUBRIDY who talks like a news editor from a gangster movie set in the forties having a severe bout of constipation. All he needs now is a trilby and an adult nappy.

Jaarrrrge HAAAAAKK (George Hook): Fake American accent which occasionally reverts to it's Corconian drone in words such as 'loik' or 'knooow' which makes him sound oddly like he's just managed to readjust his testicles from below his knees. His repugnant arse licking of captains of industry and right wing nut jobs. 'The Laaaavly Ungrid'; I am convinced that this is just an imaginary person whom he concocted to divert suspicion from the fact that he molests Tom Dunne round the back of the bike sheds.

Eamonn Dunphy: Where to start? Arrogant Michael O'Leary fan with about as much grasp on football or politics as an arm-less man would have on an oiled sheet of galvanised iron. Shouts over people. Constantly. Talks HIMSELF into circular arguments. And the way he sounds like a pissed Barry from Fair City. Oh and a complete lack of knowledge on everything, proving that the Cartesian maxim 'I think therefore I am' may have an exception. He doesn't think but he's definitely there.

Tom Dunne: Boredom on tap. 'Teday we're going to be visiting Mrs Murphy in Mullingar who has the largest collection of Glenroe paraphernalia, in Mullingar.' Go back to playing music Tom!

MOOOYYYYCCCUUULL MAAAACCCCMMUUULLLLUUUNN: Ok, disregarding the fact that he talks like some sort of unholy love child resulting from a night of lustful drug induced passion between Lloyd Grossman and a heifer falling off a cliff, he routinely viciously slags off people when they ring in in a kind of 'I'm right you're wrong, my Mammy told me so' manner. Fair enough you say, if people ring in then that's their choice..BUT THEN HE DOES A FULL U TURN IF THE NEXT CALLER SAYS THE OPPOSITE THING. And I think he's an Arsenal fan.

The Newstalk Breakfast Show: Ivan Yates, who consistently glottally massages the inky phallus of his capitalist masters saying how great employers are and how lazy teachers and workers in this country are. Fine, if that's your opinion you're entitled to it, but an ex TD who's drawing a massive pension and who presumably is drawing a considerable salary for doing four hours work every morning has no moral authority on that topic. And then there's Chris, 'thdaddthy Ivan thdaddthy Ivan, where thdo babies come from?'

Marianne Finucane and Joe Duffy: No explanation needed.

Matt Cooper: The way he always sounds like he's halfway through a **** and chewing a murrays mint when talking. The way he has to sound inflamed about everything. The way he says 'tree' instead of 'three'. And the main reason, he gives free reign to Cal Thomas without ever criticising him for the demented conservative bigot that he is.

So basically that leaves us with Paul McLoone and the shipping forecast as viable things to listen to....and I didn't even dip my toes into local radio!