Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Magic Eight Ball · 14-04-2011 4:05pm

"ANOTHER SUNNY HAPPY MONDAY MORNING FACEBOOKERS & IM TIRED.COM"

I got this gem in my news feed last Monday. Enough to make you wanna slap a newborn!

Status updates are meant to be funny, clever and filled with completely useless information.
Depressing status updates wreck my head. I don’t give a flying **** that you just don’t know if you can live this life anymore!!

TheBunk1 · 14-04-2011 4:07pm

Any variation of "X is bored/tried/wrecked.com
Nite all/facebook...
X just checked in at...home (who gives a fuck? Maybe if you checked in at Caesar's Palace in Vegas then fair enough I might be interested)

123balltv · 14-04-2011 4:10pm

I think facebook brings out depression in a lot of people

some of those status comments are very sad :mad:

Dudess · 14-04-2011 4:30pm

There's some right two-faced spinelessness on this thread. I'll admit there are sometimes statuses which I think are pointless and silly, and to be fair, some people whom you add, you don't realise they're going to be posting crappy updates - and you might still like them a lot otherwise. But if you're going to be as full of sheer venom towards them as some of the posts here - clearly some of you really dislike the people in question - then just grow a pair and delete them.

maglite · 14-04-2011 4:30pm

Orando Broom wrote: »

I know someone who qualified as a chiropractor and created a facebook profile with Dr. in front of their name.

You're a bonesetter you crazy ****! You're two degrees separated from a shamen or a juju man!

Evidentially 2 degrees and a PHD

petes · 14-04-2011 4:31pm

I posted "My girlfriend told me she's leaving me as I was too perverted...I nearly choked on her ****e when she told me"

Some people didn't like it. I hide any people that post drivel.

I don't mind facebook though.

Luxie · 14-04-2011 4:33pm

123balltv wrote: »

I think facebook brings out depression in a lot of people

some of those status comments are very sad :mad:

I read somewhere that too much internettage can cause depression or even agrophobia in people.

keano_afc · 14-04-2011 4:34pm

I have a friend who posts the same thing every Friday and Monday.

Friday: "Weekend! Going out tomorrow, cant wait!"
Monday: "Ah that weekend was too fast! Cant believe its Monday already!"

Sometimes she'll throw little hangover updates in on Sunday. Its riveting stuff.

diddlybit · 14-04-2011 5:07pm

Personally hate ones like: Warning: The Group "Mammies and Daddies that Love Their Children" is actually a paedophile group trying to get access to the photos of your children. DON'T JOIN THIS GROUP

Firstly, no paedophile is thick enough to use FB to get access to photos.

Secondly, why would you join such a group anyway, it would just turn into a frightful discussion of how great your awful spawn are.

Thirdly, if you are so bloody worried, don't post a gadzillion photos of your kids on facebook. Problem solved.

Also hate: Change your profile to a favourite childhood cartoon to help stop child abuse.

Eh, no. It won't.

Orando Broom · 14-04-2011 5:14pm

diddlybit wrote: »

Personally hate ones like: Warning: The Group "Mammies and Daddies that Love Their Children" is actually a paedophile group trying to get access to the photos of your children. DON'T JOIN THIS GROUP

Firstly, no paedophile is thick enough to use FB to get access to photos.

Secondly, why would you join such a group anyway, it would just turn into a frightful discussion of how great your awful spawn are.

Thirdly, if you are so bloody worried, don't post a gadzillion photos of your kids on facebook. Problem solved.

Also hate: Change your profile to a favourite childhood cartoon to help stop child abuse.

Eh, no. It won't.

I posted a picture of Battle Cat and the next day Michael Jackson was found calved at the foot of his bed. Now tell me that it doesn't ****ing work.

diddlybit · 14-04-2011 5:16pm

Orando Broom wrote: »

I posted a picture of Battle Cat and the next day Michael Jackson was found calved at the foot of his bed. Now tell me that it doesn't ****ing work.

I stand corrected. The power of childhood cartoons is immeasurable.

TanG411 · 14-04-2011 5:18pm

I deleted* mine about three months ago. What I can remember is the stupid statuses like "OMG got LOOOOOCKLED last nite and SOOOO hungova!" and then a load of likes for it. Those comments were too annoying.

Then friends who would leave a message on your wall about a question that should really be answered within 10 minutes. Log on 16 hours later to another message, "Why didn't you answer me!". That tipped it over the edge.

* If you go to the help section in the bottom right of the screen, you can find out how to delete your account permanently.

Orando Broom · 14-04-2011 5:19pm

diddlybit wrote: »

I stand corrected. The power of childhood cartoons is immeasurable.

Immeasurable. :Harumph Smiley:

Aishae · 14-04-2011 5:27pm

i did the cartoon thing but mainly cos i got the chance to use a catdog pic :cool:

gargleblaster · 14-04-2011 5:28pm

I don't know what simpleton decided to attach some drivel about child abuse to the cartoon thing. Before that nonsense started I got a message that it was just to make facebook into a big reminder of our favorite cartoons and that's all it was.

I have one of those chatty moms, this morning's gem: "Soooo tired today!!!! I need coffee or something!!! LOL"

I don't get upset by any of this stuff though, and don't understand why anyone would. It's just not that important, and it's so easy to hide, defriend someone, or just stop using facebook.

jetpack101 · 14-04-2011 5:35pm

This topic has me in stiches,
Every post I read made someone spring to mind

I dont post often to facebook but when I do it's normally a funny video or picture.

The one thing I hate is (NAME ) has just given you a brick on farm ville
Aghh

parmaviolet · 14-04-2011 5:37pm

Oh god the holiday updates. So annoying... and speaking of people talking on facebook while they're away, I know two girls who while on holidays TOGETHER sent eachother comments on facebook

"lookin good on that sun lounger!"
"haha those cocktails last night were a mistake lol!"
"<Insert name> has the funniest sunburn!"

SHUT. UP.

Orando Broom · 14-04-2011 5:40pm

jetpack101 wrote: »

This topic has me in stiches,
Every post I read made someone spring to mind

I dont post often to facebook but when I do it's normally a funny video or picture.

The one thing I hate is (NAME ) has just given you a brick on farm ville
Aghh

At last we've found the arbiter of funny!

All hail our new overlord.

anndub · 14-04-2011 5:44pm

"im not beautiful or gorgeous i haven't got an amazing figure or a flat stomach. im far from being considered model material but I'm me. I eat junk food and love to wear my PJ's and no make- up around the house. I'm random and crazy. And I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, love me or not. I can't change me

♥"

Yes you can, stop being a fat slob.

Fukuyama · 14-04-2011 6:10pm

Reading this thread has just made me decide to stop using Facebook for a month or so. Just to get a break and see if lifes worth living without the useless drivel.

I wrote down some random letters and numbers. Changed my password to it. Ripped up the page. That should stop me having INSTANT access and it's too much of a pain in the arse to change the password through mobile verification or whatever.

I actually feel kinda good.

STIG83 · 14-04-2011 6:18pm

After seeing this thread i decided to look at one of my hidden FB friends to see what they were saying in their status, im so happy you can hide people!! the stupid pointless stuff that was there, "only 2 days to go"
giving out about their car!!
Attention seeking idiots!! :mad:

mehfesto · 14-04-2011 6:22pm

I though *Winning* was as bad as it got until last week:

"OMG. I was so into The Script before they got mainstream. I was at their first gig! (she wasn't) Now everyone likes them because they're on the radio! Grr!"

Dwellingdweller · 14-04-2011 6:46pm

anndub wrote: »

"im not beautiful or gorgeous i haven't got an amazing figure or a flat stomach. im far from being considered model material but I'm me. I eat junk food and love to wear my PJ's and no make- up around the house. I'm random and crazy. And I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, love me or not. I can't change me ♥"

Yes you can, stop being a fat slob.

Love it when silly bints put this bollix up on FB, gives me a laugh everytime :')

RxQueen · 14-04-2011 6:48pm

mehfesto wrote: »

I though *Winning* was as bad as it got until last week:

"OMG. I was so into The Script before they got mainstream. I was at their first gig! (she wasn't) Now everyone likes them because they're on the radio! Grr!"

Before they were mainstream?! eh when were they every anything but mainstream!

RxQueen · 14-04-2011 6:50pm

RxQueen wrote: »

Before they were mainstream?! eh when were they every anything but mainstream!

Girl on my facebook , updates her status at the very least about 7 times a day..

this morning it was " mmmm toast

xxx " ... shut the **** up, why the **** the xx and why the winky face , you knob

I hid her before , but we haveclose friends in commen and didnt want to fall out over a stupid thing like facebook so I place her back on the news feed before she realised.

Now i just put smart assed replies to all her pointless stuff, so hopefully that will stop her from posting them

STIG83 · 14-04-2011 6:57pm

RxQueen wrote: »

Girl on my facebook , updates her status at the very least about 7 times a day..

this morning it was " mmmm toast xxx " ... shut the **** up, why the **** the xx and why the winky face , you knob

I hid her before , but we haveclose friends in commen and didnt want to fall out over a stupid thing like facebook so I place her back on the news feed before she realised.

Now i just put smart assed replies to all her pointless stuff, so hopefully that will stop her from posting them

If you hide someone they wont know that or am i wrong?

RxQueen · 14-04-2011 6:58pm

I thought they would, so thats why i said I better un hide her.... but if she didnt know that would be fantastic, i mean would she be able to see what i post on our friends pages, cause if she could then thats grand, save me looking at her tripe

El Weirdo · 14-04-2011 7:01pm

STIG83 wrote: »

If you hide someone they wont know that or am i wrong?

No. They don't know.

STIG83 · 14-04-2011 7:04pm

RxQueen wrote: »

I thought they would, so thats why i said I better un hide her.... but if she didnt know that would be fantastic, i mean would she be able to see what i post on our friends pages, cause if she could then thats grand, save me looking at her tripe

I have a load of people hidden on mine and never got any aggro for it,so hide people away to your hearts content.
She will still see what you post on her newsfeed. Unless she hids you.
I think she will see what you post on your friends pages.

tommy89 · 14-04-2011 7:13pm

BickNarry wrote: »

Not a week goes by without this happening..........

Love the way you have the hide all posts in that picture..:D

There is a website called lamebook that has loads of these

SeaFields · 14-04-2011 7:20pm

Thanks to being friends with some of my younger cousins I see a few like this...

:-(

Reply "Aww whats up hun?"

:-(

Reply "will i ring u?"

:-)

/They didnt get that form my side of the family anyway!

anndub · 14-04-2011 7:34pm

Rooted out this one from a couple of weeks ago. Still makes me laugh. Posted in all seriousness like it was some revelation might I add.

"Take the year you were born and add your age that you be this year and you get 2011"

lawhec · 14-04-2011 7:45pm

Plenty of examples on this thread that I've seen on FB myself. Doesn't usually bother me, I've only ever deleted one family member because of them using it as a political platform cranked up to 11.

I have been thinking of going into massive overdrive for one day by posting status updates every 5-10 minutes for while I am awake even for the most trivial and benign of things e.g. "lawhec is taking a dump" to if nothing else, reflect back on some of my "friends" some of the tedious, pointless shít that they write. But I've yet to get around to doing it.

Cunning Stunt · 14-04-2011 7:52pm

Not a status thing but one thing that really bugs me - People creating profiles for their PETS. WTF?:mad:
I have gotten friend requests from 2 dogs and a cat so far..

LimeTime · 14-04-2011 8:08pm

Had idiots who post stuff like.

So and So is...On Facebook.

jockeyboard · 14-04-2011 8:09pm

facebook statuses are like your life only better

Penn · 14-04-2011 8:20pm

"My son is 2 years old today. Love you lots xxx"

Firstly, your son isn't on Facebook, so he's not going to read, or 'like' your status. Even if you showed it to him, not a single **** would he give.

Secondly, if your son isn't going to read it, then you aren't posting it so he can see it. You're posting it so everyone you know can see it. Why? For the dozen "Awww he's soooo cute", "He's a smashing kid", "You must be so proud of him hun" messages you'll get. Well done. You dropped a sprog a few years ago. However, that's not enough, is it? You must make sure that everybody knows it's his birthday, and how wonderful a mammy you are that you diverted your attention away from your child to go on Facebook. You didn't post that status for him. You posted it for your own ego.

Thirdly, **** you.

Stop Lad! · 14-04-2011 8:30pm

getting sick of frapes these days.... just seen this one there now...

*Jack* "loves cock, big black cock!"

and about 10 morons then commenting below it on how they're ROFL at it

same old non-funny sh1te the whole time!

AnalogueKid · 14-04-2011 8:31pm

The misuse of the word random has increased tenfold since the advent of facebook.

El Weirdo · 14-04-2011 8:32pm

Stop Lad! wrote: »

getting sick of frapes these days.... just seen this one there now...

*Jack* "loves cock, big black cock!"

and about 10 morons then commenting below it on how they're ROFL at it

same old non-funny sh1te the whole time!

Just because you got fraped... ROFPMSL

Stop Lad! · 14-04-2011 8:45pm

El Weirdo wrote: »

Just because you got fraped... ROFPMSL

:rolleyes:

nicely played sir!

Aoifey! · 14-04-2011 8:55pm

And todays winner is:

"there's nuthing really going on at the moment haha"

Paddy_Smith · 14-04-2011 9:04pm

Aoifey! wrote: »

And todays winner is:

"there's nuthing really going on at the moment haha"

Jaysus that is dumb.

delta_bravo · 14-04-2011 9:06pm

"I'm board"

Immediately blocked.

STIG83 · 14-04-2011 9:09pm

delta_bravo wrote: »

"I'm board"

Immediately blocked.

Oh i have a friend who does that every so often,I DONT CARE!! but i cant hide them though.

Ledger · 14-04-2011 9:20pm

Aoifey! wrote: »

I'm just picking the dumbest today for this.

"aghh exams!plz god let me do rli wel"

But the first comment made me smile - "Lets hope it's not an English exam"

I know who your talking about

saw it myself....haha

Aoifey! · 14-04-2011 9:29pm

Ledger wrote: »

I know who your talking about saw it myself....haha

Shh, no telling her

Ledger · 14-04-2011 9:38pm

Aoifey! wrote: »

Shh, no telling her

why would I do a thing like that? It's half the fun

Dudess · 14-04-2011 10:07pm

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

I have gotten friend requests from 2 dogs and a cat so far..

Aishae · 14-04-2011 10:27pm

I have gotten friend requests from 2 dogs and a cat so far..

i dunno about that.....
youve given me a great new way to waste some time - setting up a profile for my Picasso and perhaps Juno and Diasy the dogs as well. might even consider a page for Barney the parrot - with full coloured pics and bloggy status updates on their movements

i know two people who made accounts under fake personas - like A Simkins - he was into steam trains, correcting everyones punctuation, steam trains, being pedantic and photographing steam trains. it was a laugh taking the piss out of that guy even if he was an imposter :cool:

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

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