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Asking guests not to post wedding photos on social media - thoughts?

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    #122
    hmmm
    Registered Users Posts: 11,205 ✭✭✭✭hmmm


    Gatica wrote: »
    I think that's more the issue of the so-called friends though. I'd be happy to do anything my friends would ask me (maybe not jump of a cliff, but anything realistically normal), if it would make their day better.
    Weddings are not "all about the bride and groom" as some people seem to think. Everyone that turns up to your wedding has made some sort of sacrifice to be there, and most are bored out of their minds. Your vol au vents and chicken a la masterchef are not major draws, and most people are probably attending out of a sense of duty with the hope that at some stage they'll be able to relax and enjoy the day.

    As far as I'm concerned it's the duty of everyone to make the day as happy for everyone else - guests to the b & g, and the b & g to make the guests feel comfortable and welcome. If you're going to set out a big list of nitpicking rules because it's "your day" then don't be surprised to hear bitchy comments following you around well into the future.


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    #123
    Gatica
    Registered Users Posts: 3,297 ✭✭✭Gatica


    I agree that both sides need to make an effort. Guests make an effort for the B&G, and the B&G try to make it an enjoyable day for their guests.
    I don't see though how requesting not to post photos of the B&G (who may be strangers to many on someone else's FB page) is stifling the guests'
    enjoyment. Is people's enjoyment of a wedding really that tied to posting?

    If the request is phrased in a bitchy way, I can imagine the backlash would be bitchy too. However, most people here seem to me to have been reasonable in how they've asked their guests, and it seems that many of the guests (posters here on boards) on those occasions were ok with how they were asked too.


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    #124
    unclebill98
    Registered Users Posts: 3,816 ✭✭✭unclebill98


    Not sure if it has been said but I was at the wedding fair over the weekend. THe lad beside us had this App. You and your guests download the app and all the pics they take via the App are loaded onto a server for the B&G to look at. Kind of a cool alternative for the tech savvy guests.


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    #125
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    hmmm wrote: »
    Too many couples think they are Bradd Pitt and Angelina, and want a wedding which is absolutely "perfect" (whatever that means). I've hated each and every one of those weddings. Asking people not to post photos to Facebook because they may be of "unflattering angles" is typical of that in my book.

    Your friends are excited to be at your wedding and some of them might want to be posting things on social media, you communicating a list of nitpicking rules to your guests is going to give you a reputation you're going to carry for a long time.

    Wow. Do the friends and family who invite you to their special event know that you :
    a) consider them insufferably vain
    b) always, but always insist that you get what you want
    c) consider even one polite request to be 'nitpicking' and
    d) will threaten to blacken their name all over town if they do make a polite request?


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    #126
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    hmmm wrote: »
    Weddings are not "all about the bride and groom" as some people seem to think. Everyone that turns up to your wedding has made some sort of sacrifice to be there, and most are bored out of their minds. Your vol au vents and chicken a la masterchef are not major draws, and most people are probably attending out of a sense of duty with the hope that at some stage they'll be able to relax and enjoy the day.

    As far as I'm concerned it's the duty of everyone to make the day as happy for everyone else - guests to the b & g, and the b & g to make the guests feel comfortable and welcome. If you're going to set out a big list of nitpicking rules because it's "your day" then don't be surprised to hear bitchy comments following you around well into the future.
    No. Weddings are all about the bride and groom. When its your turn it will be all about you and your fiance. If your already done then you've had your lot,matey.
    Also, you seem to think your doing the hosts a favour by attending their special event. You must think your pretty important. It was an invitation, dear, not a summons. Go or don't go but don't consider the hosts lucky that you turned up. Its rare to come across such an awful attitude.


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    #127
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    mrsbyrne wrote: »
    Also, you seem to think your doing the hosts a favour by attending their special event.

    In fairness if no one turned up it wouldn't be much of a special event would it?

    I don't think weddings are about the b&g only, if that's the case then let them elope off alone and suit themselves. Once you start inviting people it becomes about everyone there. It's just good manners to be considerate of your guests.


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    #128
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    username123 wrote: »
    In fairness if no one turned up it wouldn't be much of a special event would it?

    I don't think weddings are about the b&g only, if that's the case then let them elope off alone and suit themselves. Once you start inviting people it becomes about everyone there. It's just good manners to be considerate of your guests.

    I think that ,particularly in Ireland, the guests have already been considered, and very well by providing food and drink and entertainment for them.
    Incidentally, a wedding can be a very special event with just the bride and groom and two witnesses picked at random. My grandparents did that, went on to have 9 kids and were no less married then any of the multi hundred guests multi thousands costing modern day affairs.


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    #129
    Fred Swanson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,730 ✭✭✭✭Fred Swanson


    This post has been deleted.


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    #130
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    Fred Swanson wrote: »
    I spent less than €100 on my wedding 10 years ago, and we are still happily married.

    Fred I'm actually starting to think that the chances of your marriage being a real success is inversely related to how much it cost. Mine didn't cost much either 18 years ago and we've muddled along so far despite my being much much too good for Mr Byrne.!


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    #131
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    mrsbyrne wrote: »
    Weddings are all about the bride and groom. When its your turn it will be all about you and your fiance. If your already done then you've had your lot,matey.
    A wedding ceremony is all about the bride and groom.
    A wedding reception is just a party, with the bride and groom as hosts. A good host always prioritises their guests.


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    #132
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    mrsbyrne wrote: »
    I think that ,particularly in Ireland, the guests have already been considered, and very well by providing food and drink and entertainment for them.
    Incidentally, a wedding can be a very special event with just the bride and groom and two witnesses picked at random. My grandparents did that, went on to have 9 kids and were no less married then any of the multi hundred guests multi thousands costing modern day affairs.

    I think traditional irish weddings are disgusting vulgar displays of binge drinking, there's no way I would have wanted that for my wedding day.

    I eloped and got married in a private ceremony outdoors in a very special place with just two hotel staff as witnesses and a minister. It cost a bit though because of the location!

    Big lavish parties are not private events, there's no privacy at all!


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    #133
    Karen23
    Registered Users Posts: 1,871 ✭✭✭Karen23


    I think it's awful when people post pics of the Bride & Groom on Facebook but not because of unflattering angles or anything like that. I just think it should be up to them to post the first pics, once they've done it then it's fine for everyone to do so. I've been to weddings where the afters people have arrived and others have said "wait 'til you see her" and the reply is "ah, we've already seen her on Facebook".


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    #134
    kkcatlou
    Registered Users Posts: 332 ✭✭kkcatlou


    username123 wrote: »
    I think traditional irish weddings are disgusting vulgar displays of binge drinking

    Stereotyping and judgmental much?! :cool:


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    #135
    Fred Swanson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,730 ✭✭✭✭Fred Swanson


    This post has been deleted.


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    #136
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    kkcatlou wrote: »
    Stereotyping and judgmental much?! :cool:

    I'm afraid I find the modern "traditional" Irish wedding very prone to ostentatious overt consumerism obsessed with outdoing the last wedding in your family/social set. The ridiculous current trend for the happy couple to spend hours away from their guests getting photos taken is proof. Why abandon your guests hungry and bored, for hours, in order to get a photographic record of the event, when you could actually be enjoying the day with them?Hiring magicians jugglers and face painters to entertain these guests while you've abandoned them is just showing off. Incidentally a few plates of sambos and snacks would be better appreciated but then thatwould be far too "old fashioned" and guests wouldnt be oohing and aahing at how much you must have spent and how 'different" your wedding is. No, not all modern weddings are like this but a lot are. And it is vulgar.


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    #137
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    kkcatlou wrote: »
    Stereotyping and judgmental much?! :cool:

    I'm delighted for you if you've been to one that wasn't. Same format, same music, same food, same binge drinking, same boredom. I've been to one Irish wedding that wasn't the same, it was just a civil ceremony and a restaurant. Every traditional Irish wedding has been the same as every other one I've been at in 20+ years. I knew long ago I'd hate that for my own. People locked out of their heads lurching around to "Is this the way to Amarillo" on a sweaty packed dancefloor, it's not my idea of a special day, not at all.


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    #138
    kkcatlou
    Registered Users Posts: 332 ✭✭kkcatlou


    username123 wrote: »
    I'm delighted for you if you've been to one that wasn't. Same format, same music, same food, same binge drinking, same boredom. I've been to one Irish wedding that wasn't the same, it was just a civil ceremony and a restaurant. Every traditional Irish wedding has been the same as every other one I've been at in 20+ years. I knew long ago I'd hate that for my own. People locked out of their heads lurching around to "Is this the way to Amarillo" on a sweaty packed dancefloor, it's not my idea of a special day, not at all.

    I pity all the poor couples who've forked out a couple of hundred quid a pop to invite you to their weddings to ridicule and belittle them like that!!

    Much as I might think a wedding abroad with only 2 witnesses is not for me, I don't think I'd have the balls to ridicule and belittle it the way you have done here to probably 99% of Irish couples who get married!


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    #139
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    kkcatlou wrote: »
    I pity all the poor couples who've forked out a couple of hundred quid a pop to invite you to their weddings to ridicule and belittle them like that!!

    Much as I might think a wedding abroad with only 2 witnesses is not for me, I don't think I'd have the balls to ridicule and belittle it the way you have done here to probably 99% of Irish couples who get married!

    Are you disputing what I am saying or just admiring my honesty?


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    #140
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    My wedding must have been awful. We had a free bar and did a Congo around the venue to The Way to Amarillo. Tacktastic. Maybe some of our guests had a good moan about how generic it was afterwards.


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    #141
    BabysCoffee
    Registered Users Posts: 4,712 ✭✭✭BabysCoffee


    I think it is overly controlling of the B&G to ask their guests to not post pics of themselves on Facebook. If they don't want their own pic on FB it is fair to ask guests not to post pics of B or G. But guests have to be free to put pics up of themselves if they wish.


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    #142
    rainbowtrout
    Registered Users Posts: 15,381 ✭✭✭✭rainbowtrout


    BabysCoffee wrote: »
    I think it is overly controlling of the B&G to ask their guests to not post pics of themselves on Facebook. If they don't want their own pic on FB it is fair to ask guests not to post pics of B or G. But guests have to be free to put pics up of themselves if they wish.

    i don't think that ever really was the problem. I think it's just the bride and groom photo's really.


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    #143
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    lazygal wrote: »
    My wedding must have been awful. We had a free bar and did a Congo around the venue to The Way to Amarillo. Tacktastic. Maybe some of our guests had a good moan about how generic it was afterwards.

    Probably great drunken craic, but great drunken craic isn't how I would want to remember a special event in my life.

    I'm not moaning about other people's weddings, if people want a vulgar tacky drunken mess for their wedding day they're entitled to it, good luck to them. It just wouldn't be for me.


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    #144
    Electric Sheep
    Registered Users Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭Electric Sheep


    kkcatlou wrote: »
    I pity all the poor couples who've forked out a couple of hundred quid a pop to invite you to their weddings to ridicule and belittle them like that!!

    Don't worry, most of those poor couples carefully calculated the return in cash gifts on what they paid per guest.


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    #145
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    username123 wrote: »
    Probably great drunken craic, but great drunken craic isn't how I would want to remember a special event in my life.

    I'm not moaning about other people's weddings, if people want a vulgar tacky drunken mess for their wedding day they're entitled to it, good luck to them. It just wouldn't be for me.

    What kind of friends do you have that host vulgar, tacky, drunken messy weddings?


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    #146
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    lazygal wrote: »
    What kind of friends do you have that host vulgar, tacky, drunken messy weddings?

    Irish ones.


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    #147
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    Do your friends know what you think of their weddings?


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    #148
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    I really wonder why so many people who seem to really hate weddings spend so much time in the weddings forum...


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    #149
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    Faith wrote: »
    I really wonder why so many people who seem to really hate weddings spend so much time in the weddings forum...

    So they can be horrible, judgmental and feel superior to anyone who makes a different choice to them of course!


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    #150
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    kkcatlou wrote: »
    I pity all the poor couples who've forked out a couple of hundred quid a pop to invite you to their weddings to ridicule and belittle them like that!!

    Much as I might think a wedding abroad with only 2 witnesses is not for me, I don't think I'd have the balls to ridicule and belittle it the way you have done here to probably 99% of Irish couples who get married!


    Nobody is personally ridiculing or belittling anything or anybody. Some posters including myself find certain aspects of modern Irish weddings tacky showy vulgar whatever. Others think its all good fun and even think its romantic. Newsflash! Someone disagrees with you! Relax! Its nothing personal!


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    #151
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    There's a way to disagree without being downright nasty.


This discussion has been closed.
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