Asking guests not to post wedding photos on social media - thoughts?

superman28 · 15-04-2014 12:01pm

I certainly will be asking for this at my wedding as I also value my privacy. All our friends and family will be there so I don't see anyone would want to share every step of a wedding with complete strangers. All the guests and anyone who couldn't make it will be getting a link to the professional photographers pictures, instead of drunkin blurry rubbish.

I think People should be free to take as many pictures as they want of course, but then again the last wedding I was at I noticed alot of people would rather watch the ceremony through their Iphone while taking video instead of just sitting back and taking in the celebration. A bit sad really..

Its your special day do what you want..

Addle · 15-04-2014 6:10pm

kkcatlou wrote: »

As far as I'm aware, the etiquette is that once someone from the bridal party has posted photos, it's OK for others to.

There's etiquette in this regard?!

I'm not on facebook so I'm oblivious to what of me there is available to see on there. I (naively) like to think that no one would do anything with my image without asking me first, so ignorance is bliss.

rainbowtrout · 16-04-2014 11:47pm

I'm a teacher and I've been at a couple of teacher weddings where in one case one of the groomsmen went up on the altar before the bride arrived and asked that pictures not be put on facebook etc. If you teach in a small town and live in the area chances are someone who is at the wedding will be friends with someone who is friends with/related to a student on facebook and in no time the photos are around the school. The teachers I know in this situation did not want to go into class and have students comment on their wedding day. Weddings might be in a public setting but they are private ceremonies where people have an invitation to attend, so I don't think it's unreasonable for a bride and groom to request that their photos are not splashed all over facebook. I don't put up photos of myself on nights out - those are nights spent with my friends, not shared with an extensive social network, if I was getting married I wouldn't feel the need to share with a bunch of randomers either.

Vojera · 17-04-2014 9:10am

flikflak wrote: »

My FB is locked down to friends only and all pics with me tagged in them have to be approved. I dont have every Tom, Dick and Harry as my friends on FB, only people who are actually my friends. Will I care if someone who attending my weddings posts a few pics or status updates? No. I will be having too much of a good time to worry about if someone saw us on our wedding day on FB.

I myself might post a few the next day.

We are getting married abroad and there are a lot of people who cant make it. A few pics and status updates from mutual friends who are attending will be lovely for those who cant make it to see.

To be honest I have bigger things to worry about than a few pics on FB.

You only approve the tag, not the photo. So the photo will still be there if you decline the tag. And while your privacy settings are tight, those of your friends may not be. That's how my wife's hairdresser saw pictures of our wedding via her brother who knew a guest who put up photos.

username123 · 17-04-2014 9:30am

superman28 wrote: »

All our friends and family will be there so I don't see anyone would want to share every step of a wedding with complete strangers.

But they may want to share pics with their own friends and family? Its a day out, people get dressed up, they may want to show Great Aunt Bessie in Texas how well they are looking or the good time that was had at your wedding.

Milly33 · 17-04-2014 9:39am

You can put the pictures up later the next day perhaps or just wait for the bride and groom to share theres first it doesn't have to be on the day at that exact moment. I swear if I see one iphone out on the walk down the aisle ill stop haha.. It must be very hard being a teacher in a small community alright trying to keep it quite I hope they succeeded with what they wanted

Realtine · 17-04-2014 9:48am

Coleman Slawski wrote: »

Are ye really that vain?

I'd have to say it's nothing to do with vanity. I'm not a huge facebooker and i tend not to post photos - I like my online profile to be low key - that's just how I am, himself is more prolific but I do ask that he doesn't post photos of me.

We're getting married in August and while I haven't or won't ask people not to post photos onto facebook on whatever, cos i know they will anyway - I won't allow myself to be tagged and I won't be re-posting them onto my profile.

rainbowtrout · 17-04-2014 9:49am

Milly33 wrote: »

You can put the pictures up later the next day perhaps or just wait for the bride and groom to share theres first it doesn't have to be on the day at that exact moment. I swear if I see one iphone out on the walk down the aisle ill stop haha.. It must be very hard being a teacher in a small community alright trying to keep it quite I hope they succeeded with what they wanted

It's not that they wanted it secret just that they didn't want photos all over the Internet. And people complied. To be fair none of the people I knew going would be the 'I must put this up on Facebook 3 seconds after it happened types' anyway.

skippy15 · 20-04-2014 12:02am

We got married recently and and set up a "Wedding Party App",
It's an app that lets you post wedding details and directions etc: then during the wedding people can add photo's and comments to it.
You are the overall admin and it can only be seen by wedding guests. Was nice because people posted a lot nice photos of reception first dance etc:
We put a little note in the mass booklet and it seen to work out

Etc · 20-04-2014 12:30am

Coleman Slawski wrote: »

Are ye really that vain?

Personally I'm not one for posting many photos on social media anyway but if I was asked to a wedding and was requested not to do it, I would post loads just out of principle.

What a horrible attitude. What principle is at stake ? Someone thinks enough of you to share their special day and you're saying f**k you.......

twowheelsonly · 20-04-2014 12:46am

We were at a wedding last year (civil ceremony) where the couple both had the same fears but didn't know how to go about telling people.
I sent her this link and advised her to tell people via the invitation that her wedding was 'unplugged'. On the day she also had a blackboard outside the venue stating the same thing and the fella doing the ceremony announced it before the bride arrived. As an aside she had one of the hotel staff outside the room not allowing latecomers in either. Ceremony was awesome!!!! No interruptions, nobody glued to their phones, photographer able to do his job and everyone able to enjoy what was a great ceremony. As it happened it carried on throughout the day as people just put their phones away and didn't bother. There were a few shots posted later but very little and what was there was half decent. Great day and the couple got the pictures they wanted and not the ones that other people wanted.

I think all future bride/grooms should read this.....

http://petapixel.com/2013/05/15/guest-photographers-or-why-you-should-have-an-unplugged-wedding/

mrsbyrne · 20-04-2014 9:24am

Coleman Slawski wrote: »

Are ye really that vain?

Personally I'm not one for posting many photos on social media anyway but if I was asked to a wedding and was requested not to do it, I would post loads just out of principle.

Why would you be at a wedding if you hated the couple so much? Why would they ask you?

BabysCoffee · 20-04-2014 1:59pm

Is asking people not to post on Facebook like trying to control the Internet? ie a futile exercise

lazygal · 20-04-2014 2:01pm

BabysCoffee wrote: »

Is asking people not to post on Facebook like trying to control the Internet? ie a futile exercise

No. For example, we don't post photos of our children on FB or any other site. We're the ones who control their online presence, not friends or relatives, and they know not to put pictures online. It's worked very well for us so far, certainly not futile.

lazygal · 20-04-2014 2:03pm

twowheelsonly wrote: »

As an aside she had one of the hotel staff outside the room not allowing latecomers in either.

I'm almost certain civil celebrants do not allow anyone into the room once the ceremony has started. I think its a rule that should be applied at all weddings, lateness is so rude.

Ann Landers · 20-04-2014 3:12pm

lazygal wrote: »

I'm almost certain civil celebrants do not allow anyone into the room once the ceremony has started. I think its a rule that should be applied at all weddings, lateness is so rude.

Harsh, rural churches and some urban ones can be really difficult to find and the directions given are often terrible.

rainbowtrout · 20-04-2014 3:44pm

Ann Landers wrote: »

Harsh, rural churches and some urban ones can be really difficult to find and the directions given are often terrible.

People can also leave enough time to get there. For weddings I've been to where a lot of the same people are present it's always the same ones that are late

Toots · 20-04-2014 4:27pm

It didn't occur to me to ask my guests not to put wedding pics on facebook after my wedding, but in our situation any of the guests who would have put pictures up were the type to ask me first of all. I think three guests put them up, and they checked with me first. In fairness there were very few of the wedding party, it was mostly of the group at their table cos it was a kind of mini-reunion for them.

I wouldn't have a massive problem with a few pics going up online (providing they weren't of the ceremony and weren't awful

) but I know there would be a lot of guests who would not be happy with their photo on facebook. That's the trouble with taking a picture of the dancefloor for example, because you might only want to capture one or two people but there could be 40 odd other people on the dancefloor who will also be in the shot and might not be happy with their picture being up for potentially the world to see.

I think it depends on your guests. If there are people coming who you feel would be the sort who'd be posting on social media the second the rings were exchanged then by all means make it clear to people that you don't want the pictures going online. You could get the priest/officiant or a groomsman to announce it at the start of the wedding. Another option is to put something in the ceremony booklet. I was chatting about this to my SIL yesterday and she was at a wedding recently where they requested this. She showed me the booklet and on the inside cover said something like "Thank you so much for being a part of our wedding day. It is important to us to share the day with only our nearest and dearest, so we would really appreciate it if photos of our wedding were not posted on social media. Thank you for understanding."

mrsbyrne · 20-04-2014 5:41pm

Ann Landers wrote: »

Harsh, rural churches and some urban ones can be really difficult to find and the directions given are often terrible.

Nah, 95% of people who come late to church services wedding christenings funerals etc. are late because they are just plain bad mannered. The "church bit" is boring and their not bothered with it and their only interested in the party. They're the first in to sit down for the chow down.

Ann Landers · 20-04-2014 6:01pm

mrsbyrne wrote: »

Nah, 95% of people who come late to church services wedding christenings funerals etc. are late because they are just plain bad mannered. The "church bit" is boring and their not bothered with it and their only interested in the party. They're the first in to sit down for the chow down.

I disagree, many people are rushing around like mad to make it on time from far flung parts of the country and battling against 3rd class roads or terrible directions. People who are late usually are for very genuine reasons.

rainbowtrout · 20-04-2014 6:54pm

Ann Landers wrote: »

I disagree, many people are rushing around like mad to make it on time from far flung parts of the country and battling against 3rd class roads or terrible directions. People who are late usually are for very genuine reasons.

If a person knows they are going to a wedding a long distance from where they live, e.g. 3 hours and they don't know where the church is, they should be leaving more than 3 hours to get there, stops for petrol, getting lost, traffic, roadworks etc and they should go on the assumption that the bride will be on time so they should be seated in the church before she arrives and not running in the door in front of her - or after her. In this day and age with satnav, google maps, couple's printing out maps with their wedding invites, and signs posted up on roads all over the place, it's a poor excuse not to be able to find the place. I live in a rural part of the country, and there isn't a week that goes by where I pass signs posted on roads for 'John and Mary's wedding'.

mrsbyrne · 20-04-2014 6:55pm

Ann Landers wrote: »

I disagree, many people are rushing around like mad to make it on time from far flung parts of the country and battling against 3rd class roads or terrible directions. People who are late usually are for very genuine reasons.

I live in a town with a very popular picturesque big church that would have at least one wedding a week from May till the end of September. I'm driving along and I see the bride has gone in (the wedding car is abandoned at the foot of the church steps) guests are coming out of the two adjacent pubs like browns cows in all their finery and strolling down the road in no particular hurry 20 minutes after the wedding was due to start. These would mostly be locals too. I find that people who have travelled a distance make it their business to be on time especially when they don't know the venue ,parking etc.
Same with funerals people think its fine to arrive anytime before the coffin leaves the church. No respect for mourners the deceased the priest the place, none whatsoever. The priest is trying his best to lessen the grief and here's Shane and Donna clomping about the church looking for Dean and Sharon like its Garth Brooks in Croke Park. Come on time or stay outside for Petes sake.

Milly33 · 20-04-2014 7:16pm

skippy15 wrote: »

We got married recently and and set up a "Wedding Party App",
It's an app that lets you post wedding details and directions etc: then during the wedding people can add photo's and comments to it.
You are the overall admin and it can only be seen by wedding guests. Was nice because people posted a lot nice photos of reception first dance etc:
We put a little note in the mass booklet and it seen to work out

Thanks for this skippy I was going to ask what it was called but I found it haha.. This seems just like what we were looking for..the job thanks

rovoagho · 20-04-2014 7:40pm

If the bride's going to be late, as has become the fashion for some ridiculous reason, I don't see why I should hurry.

Toots · 20-04-2014 8:08pm

Just a reminder that the thread is about wedding photos on social media, not about guests/brides arriving late.

irish_goat · 20-04-2014 8:13pm

If a bride or groom told me not to put wedding photos on Facebook I'd probably just make an album they can't see and put them up anyway.

Fred Swanson · 20-04-2014 8:18pm

This post has been deleted.

newtoboards · 20-04-2014 8:22pm

I'm not on facebook or instagram or the like. I told people who asked that I preferred not to have any pictures up and for the most part people accepted mine and my husbands request of sorts. Some still decided to put up pictures but it's their camera and their social media account so there's not much I can/will do. Could you sort of make a joke of it at the wedding and make it a social media free zone?

lazygal · 20-04-2014 8:44pm

irish_goat wrote: »

If a bride or groom told me not to put wedding photos on Facebook I'd probably just make an album they can't see and put them up anyway.

Why?

zoomaway · 20-04-2014 8:57pm

dipdipdoo wrote: »

Hi all,

I am just looking for some feedback in relation to wedding photo etiquette.

We are getting married soon, and several of our guests (mother of the groom included) are big social media fiends, and tend to post photos quite frequently. However, some of those guests take really awful photos of people (unflattering angles, unattractive expressions, mouth full of food, etc...), and see no issue with posting them all over facebook.

While my fiancé and I are social media users ourselves (although less so in recent times), and have posted photos of nights out, etc. many times, we would really like to restrict publicly-posted photos (particularly of us and our family) to the professional photos we will have of the day.

While we have no issue with people taking all the photos they want, do you think that it would be unreasonable to request that people not post the photos to Facebook, etc.? I definitely don't want to annoy anyone, but, in the past, I have seen some of these people post photos online while still at the ceremony, before the couple are even married!

I'd be really grateful for any feedback, and (if you think it is acceptable to ask at all) any tips for how to word the request.

Thanks!

I think you have been given good advice by many people here. If it were me I would get the priest or bestman to announce it at the altar as well as writing it on the invitation. Maybe something like was suggested, asking them to kindly refrain from posting pics on social media ie facebook. I sympathise with you because I would not like my wedding vow pics etc to appear on facebook. When I got married facebook wasn't around or hadn't taken off.It is your special day and your privacy should be respected. Why does the whole world need to share in your day - no need at all. I don't have a facebook account anymore closed it because I thought there was too much nonsense as well as showing off on it. Also I am not interested in every detail of others lives if people are really my friends we speak in person or on the phone.

Wishing you a very special wedding day.

Asking guests not to post wedding photos on social media - thoughts?

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