Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

titan18 · 18-04-2013 10:08pm

Love it when people forget about me. Makes me wonder what's the actual point of it all.

Just don't know what's wrong with me that nobody cares about me or wants to talk to me. Just don't know what I've done, or not done, to make me be so forgettable.

Call Me Jimmy · 19-04-2013 1:46am

Getting absolutely blind drunk, one of those destructive nights ahead I'd say.

Call Me Jimmy · 19-04-2013 2:07am

titan18 wrote: »

Love it when people forget about me. Makes me wonder what's the actual point of it all.

Just don't know what's wrong with me that nobody cares about me or wants to talk to me. Just don't know what I've done, or not done, to make me be so forgettable.

Probably shyness? Just trying to get by socially will mean you will be forgotten. You would have to be having people laughing their asses off ~99% of the time to be remembered. Do you make the effort? How positive are you when you are around friends / out drinking etc.?

Gremlinertia · 19-04-2013 10:54am

Had my psych appointment yesterday. Not cool.. Getting nowhere it seems. Now have to fork out for doc to do all sorts of tests like cholesterol and heart monitor etc. Not. A. Happy. Camper.. And of course stuck in work now over thinking it all.

dar926 · 19-04-2013 4:16pm

Well I just got discharged from hospital today...Lots of work done and lots of new meds...But now I feel very anxious as I enter the real world again with no job or structure to keep me well

Gremlinertia · 19-04-2013 4:23pm

dar926 wrote: »

Well I just got discharged from hospital today...Lots of work done and lots of new meds...But now I feel very anxious as I enter the real world again with no job or structure to keep me well

Congrats on both going in and coming out with work done, posting on various threads here can feel like a full time job, so that can keep you busy until you sort out day to day things..

dar926 · 19-04-2013 4:26pm

Thanks ye ive been in and out a bit over the past five years but feel like i am making some progress so fingers crossed...Ill be using the thread for sure to keep me busy

Kaching · 19-04-2013 4:34pm

my life could not be more perfect atm

titan18 · 20-04-2013 2:07am

So many people die every day, and many before they should. Not really a religious person, but why do they have to die, when I have to suffer. I'd gladly trade places with any of them. Children dying across the world, fathers with young kids, and I'm alive even though I don't want to be. Why can't it all just end?

Esel · 20-04-2013 2:13am

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

There are very few people that should be able to justify life to themselves, most people must use some amount of cognitive dissonance just to get up out of bed. Maybe my expectations are too high but so many people including me are not viable, they just tell themselves 'nobody's perfect' when a lot of people are a lot closer to perfect than most will let on

Cognitive dissonance causes a lot of discomfort, but confirmation bias is much more insidious, and therefore, imo, much more harmful.

Confirmation bias causes one to give weight to things which confirm one's feelings, and to disregard things which challenge them.

Call Me Jimmy · 20-04-2013 2:35am

Esel wrote: »

Cognitive dissonance causes a lot of discomfort, but confirmation bias is much more insidious, and therefore, imo, much more harmful.

Confirmation bias causes one to give weight to things which confirm one's feelings, and to disregard things which challenge them.

I agree, my point being that cognitive dissonance must almost be essential to healthy living. Confirmation bias will drive a person crazy.

Esel · 20-04-2013 3:39am

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I agree, my point being that cognitive dissonance must almost be essential to healthy living. Confirmation bias will drive a person crazy.

I think that cognitive dissonance, if recognised, can help one to question one's so-called 'beliefs'. I don't agree with your suggestion that it might be essential to healthy living.

Confirmation bias, otoh, is much harder for the individual to recognise and can be very much more damaging. The danger is that when one has a fixed idea in mind, one disregards facts that contradict one's perception - even when those facts are held (by a disinterested observer) to be true, and one is inclined to perceive events in one's life as confirmation (sorry!

) of how one feels.

Lightbulb Sun · 20-04-2013 1:03pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Probably shyness? Just trying to get by socially will mean you will be forgotten. You would have to be having people laughing their asses off ~99% of the time to be remembered. Do you make the effort? How positive are you when you are around friends / out drinking etc.?

Yeah, was just about to post something similar. It works two ways. You don't have to even be making people laugh all the time, just make an effort to meet up regularly.

banquo · 20-04-2013 2:11pm

Short Version: After switching to electronic cigarettes, my anxiety levels have dropped significantly.

Long Version: Long term anxiety sufferer, full time smoker.

About 2 weeks ago I made the full switch to 'e-cigarettes' and oh my god do I feel better on a daily basis. Anyone with anxiety and smokes knows that things that excite the nervous system (tea, coffee, smoking) lead to heightened anxiety. In smokes, there's nicotine and a rake of other stuff. In e-smokes, there's only nicotine.

Since switching (it's not hard, it's actually fine) I've felt a small twinge of anxiety maybe once every three or four days, as opposed to a large twinge two or three times a day.

If you're a a smoker with anxiety, you have to try these. There are a load of brands, I get mine from a stall in the Jervis Centre in Dublin but I'd say there's a stall in most shopping centres these days. The brand I use is VIP, but I've read the same good things about most of the big brands. DON'T try the disposable ones from Spar or Centra, they're a bit rubbish. The rechargeable ones are they way to go.

Seriously, give them a go!

Call Me Jimmy · 20-04-2013 2:21pm

Good on ye banquo, I'm using basically same thing (vaporiser), i haven't smoked now since yesterday evening sometime. I'll report on anxiety levels, but my anxiety only really flares up based on a direct trigger (actively going and looking in a mirror) so I don't know if I will notice an anxiety difference. But looking forward to all the other benefits!

banquo · 20-04-2013 3:54pm

Cheers ! Give the vaporiser a few days to get used to. I had a real cigarette last night and it was disgusting, like the first cigarette I ever had!

Also, mirror? That's a new one to me!

Lightbulb Sun · 20-04-2013 5:28pm

banquo wrote: »

Short Version: After switching to electronic cigarettes, my anxiety levels have dropped significantly.

Long Version: Long term anxiety sufferer, full time smoker.

About 2 weeks ago I made the full switch to 'e-cigarettes' and oh my god do I feel better on a daily basis. Anyone with anxiety and smokes knows that things that excite the nervous system (tea, coffee, smoking) lead to heightened anxiety. In smokes, there's nicotine and a rake of other stuff. In e-smokes, there's only nicotine.

Since switching (it's not hard, it's actually fine) I've felt a small twinge of anxiety maybe once every three or four days, as opposed to a large twinge two or three times a day.

If you're a a smoker with anxiety, you have to try these. There are a load of brands, I get mine from a stall in the Jervis Centre in Dublin but I'd say there's a stall in most shopping centres these days. The brand I use is VIP, but I've read the same good things about most of the big brands. DON'T try the disposable ones from Spar or Centra, they're a bit rubbish. The rechargeable ones are they way to go.

Seriously, give them a go!

I've never smoked in my life, but I've seen those e cigarettes before.

Supposedly they are far better for your health than normal cigarettes.

They don't have any of that tar that can give you lung cancer.

titan18 · 20-04-2013 9:47pm

Lightbulb Sun wrote: »

Yeah, was just about to post something similar. It works two ways. You don't have to even be making people laugh all the time, just make an effort to meet up regularly.

Any time we end up meeting up or talking, I'm the person who initiates though, it's never someone else. I dunno, just don't really feel like I belong in this world anymore atm, and would be nice if someone made the effort to change my opinion. Otherwise, as much as I don't want to cause grief for my parents, I will push my head too far.

choosinganame · 21-04-2013 6:04am

Anyone else here really isolate themselves for like over a year? I'm 21 and I've been almost totally isolated for 3 years now and its like in that space of time I've forgotten every social skill (amongst other things) that I learned in secondary school/college. It happened really slowly and unexpectedly..like I never thought this would happen and it still doesnt seem real. It's only when I leave my house the odd time that I realise how bad its gotten. The side effect is that I've basically forgotten half my personality.. and if this happened to you how are you trying to get your old life back? Or did you get it back and how? I feel like I've lost half my brain.. I really really want to get back to normal, I just don't know how I'm gonna do it ..

lukesmom · 21-04-2013 12:56pm

Going through an anxious period past few days. I'm scared that I could develop schizophrenia from having anxiety. I'm trawling through the web to see are there any cases of it. My mind won't shut up. I don't have schizophrenia but I'm terrified of getting it.

dar926 · 21-04-2013 1:11pm

lukesmom wrote: »

Going through an anxious period past few days. I'm scared that I could develop schizophrenia from having anxiety. I'm trawling through the web to see are there any cases of it. My mind won't shut up. I don't have schizophrenia but I'm terrified of getting it.

No as far as I Know anxiety can't lead to Schizophrenia they are both different Conditions and it is mainly a genetic condition that is hereditary "Anxiety is a behavior response rather than a mental disease, unlike schizophrenia; a disease characterized by the over production of serotonin, causing brain damage in certain areas of the brain, particularly those that govern social and behavioral stimuli"....I have GAD for over 15 years as well as Clinical Depression and never felt it might be going that way...You can develop a phobia around Schizophrenia but that doesnt mean you have it..

lukesmom · 21-04-2013 1:20pm

Yeah it's just my anxiety. I get bouts of it every month or so and I'm in one at the moment. Slap bang in the middle of one actually. Go away anxiety I hate you so so much. I feel so low today

Wilberto · 21-04-2013 11:13pm

I just want to say......I f***ing hate paranoia. I feel like it will eventually be the death of me.

Hersheys · 22-04-2013 11:52pm

I can't do this again

another downward spiral.

tecakes006 · 23-04-2013 10:43am

Hi all i posted just once here before about my anxiety issues, after 2 wkds of binge drinking ive finally realised i cannot do this anymore. I ve been severely anxious for 2 weeks now and like most a drink takes it all away but only to be left a million times worse with the hangover. Anyways after last wkd i went to my doctor who is arranging an app with a physcothearpist. I am not taking any medication i wasnt prescribed any from my doc just the therapy session. Today i just want to curl up and sleep for an eternity. Iam struggling to hold any sort of conversation at work and feel dreadful inside. iam really hoping i can get some way better by this session although its not for a few weeks. Have any of you done this without medication?

dar926 · 23-04-2013 11:14am

tecakes006 wrote: »

Hi all i posted just once here before about my anxiety issues, after 2 wkds of binge drinking ive finally realised i cannot do this anymore. I ve been severely anxious for 2 weeks now and like most a drink takes it all away but only to be left a million times worse with the hangover. Anyways after last wkd i went to my doctor who is arranging an app with a physcothearpist. I am not taking any medication i wasnt prescribed any from my doc just the therapy session. Today i just want to curl up and sleep for an eternity. Iam struggling to hold any sort of conversation at work and feel dreadful inside. iam really hoping i can get some way better by this session although its not for a few weeks. Have any of you done this without medication?

I cant say Ive done it without medication as I take meds for my clinical depression and Anxiety..But for my Anxiety I have done plenty of Therapy...Plenty of CBT and mindfulness and for me it worked wonders and I have managed to stay anxiety free for long periods thanks to it... I have also had full relapses along the way but this is generaly because I dont keep doing the things that keep me well...

Gremlinertia · 23-04-2013 3:11pm

Fell and hurt mt face yesterday, went to hospital but left again coz i thought they were all talking about or looking at me.. Ho hum. There's my update..

How is everyone else doing?

titan18 · 23-04-2013 6:12pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Fell and hurt mt face yesterday, went to hospital but left again coz i thought they were all talking about or looking at me.. Ho hum. There's my update..

How is everyone else doing?

My gp got me an urgent appointment in a psychiatric ward for tomorrow. Don't think I'll end up being admitted, but still slightly scary, although hope it might be the start of some sort of improvement in my life.

Gremlinertia · 23-04-2013 10:35pm

titan18 wrote: »

My gp got me an urgent appointment in a psychiatric ward for tomorrow. Don't think I'll end up being admitted, but still slightly scary, although hope it might be the start of some sort of improvement in my life.

Fingers are crossed for you, let me know how you get on..

lukesmom · 24-04-2013 12:17am

Does anybody else here have GAD generalised anxiety disorder? This is what I was diagnosed with and I'm just wondering what you do to treat it? I'd be interested to hear other people's experiences. Personally I take 30mg citalopram and have done so (upping and lowering dosage throughout) for 5 years.

Gremlinertia · 24-04-2013 4:04pm

lukesmom wrote: »

Does anybody else here have GAD generalised anxiety disorder? This is what I was diagnosed with and I'm just wondering what you do to treat it? I'd be interested to hear other people's experiences. Personally I take 30mg citalopram and have done so (upping and lowering dosage throughout) for 5 years.

I don't specifically have this, but anxiety is a big part of my life, on serequel on top of the prozac to combat the panic etc. It holds it at bay for the most part..

As i said it's only part of my problem, and i don't have a true diagnosis yet so obviously different things for different people.. I have to say i hate the word mindfulness but i bought a book with a cd of exercises for the brain to help relax and it's not bad. Might be worth a try.

lukesmom · 24-04-2013 4:21pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I don't specifically have this, but anxiety is a big part of my life, on serequel on top of the prozac to combat the panic etc. It holds it at bay for the most part..

As i said it's only part of my problem, and i don't have a true diagnosis yet so obviously different things for different people.. I have to say i hate the word mindfulness but i bought a book with a cd of exercises for the brain to help relax and it's not bad. Might be worth a try.

Thanks just going through a bout of it at present. Fog in my head and feel like rubbish.

My doctor recommended mindfulness and meditation on YouTube and I took a look. It's not bad but only took me so far. I probably need to put a lot more effort into it. She also wanted to up my dose to 40mg which is the maximum recommended dosage for anxiety but I said I'd wait and she if it improves on its own. If I go as high as 40mg then there is nowhere to go from there.

Gremlinertia · 24-04-2013 4:30pm

lukesmom wrote: »

Thanks just going through a bout of it at present. Fog in my head and feel like rubbish.

My doctor recommended mindfulness and meditation on YouTube and I took a look. It's not bad but only took me so far. I probably need to put a lot more effort into it. She also wanted to up my dose to 40mg which is the maximum recommended dosage for anxiety but I said I'd wait and she if it improves on its own. If I go as high as 40mg then there is nowhere to go from there.

Youtube ok, but it's easier if you can have it on cd or mp3 player so you can listen, watching just feels like a distraction, i need a dark room to let the instructions drift over me..

dar926 · 24-04-2013 5:06pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Youtube ok, but it's easier if you can have it on cd or mp3 player so you can listen, watching just feels like a distraction, i need a dark room to let the instructions drift over me..

I have battled with GAD all my life as well and Mindfulness and CBT have been a life saver...But the thing is you only get out what you put in...If you work really hard and stick at it you will get results...That said Im also on alot of meds for Anxiety and Depression but they will only take you so far the rest you have to do yourself

titan18 · 24-04-2013 5:09pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Fingers are crossed for you, let me know how you get on..

Not being admitted anyway. Was weird out there, few people were admitted today, and families visiting, was slightly disturbing to see.

All I got was more medication and a long talk, and will be treated as an outpatient, and put on some waiting lists for treatment, so not ideal.

Gremlinertia · 24-04-2013 5:12pm

dar926 wrote: »

I have battled with GAD all my life as well and Mindfulness and CBT have been a life saver...But the thing is you only get out what you put in...If you work really hard and stick at it you will get results...That said Im also on alot of meds for Anxiety and Depression but they will only take you so far the rest you have to do yourself

Learning that one myself, work needs to go in to get results out. Wasn't too aware of that on the prozac/depression side.. Did work at the mindfulness for anxiety, but if depression kicks in i've no motivation, cracking battles.

Gremlinertia · 24-04-2013 5:14pm

titan18 wrote: »

Not being admitted anyway. Was weird out there, few people were admitted today, and families visiting, was slightly disturbing to see.

All I got was more medication and a long talk, and will be treated as an outpatient, and put on some waiting lists for treatment, so not ideal.

It can be a scary place, i've been to a couple, to visit mainly..

Now that you're an out-patient you'll have regular appointments and hopefully be prioritised for a talk therapy of some sort to work alongside drugs - well done for attending the appointment, that really can be the hardest part..

dar926 · 24-04-2013 5:57pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Learning that one myself, work needs to go in to get results out. Wasn't too aware of that on the prozac/depression side.. Did work at the mindfulness for anxiety, but if depression kicks in i've no motivation, cracking battles.

Well theats kinda where I am at the minute...I can control the anxiety but once the big D kicks in it all goes out the window...But its happened so often over the years I know the routine... Depression Kicks in..Anxiety Returns...Go into hospital...Dust myself off and start again...Get well for a period and then we do it all over again

titan18 · 24-04-2013 7:53pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It can be a scary place, i've been to a couple, to visit mainly..

Now that you're an out-patient you'll have regular appointments and hopefully be prioritised for a talk therapy of some sort to work alongside drugs - well done for attending the appointment, that really can be the hardest part..

Ya, she said they'd put me a waiting list for DBT treatment for my self harm, but it's a year long waiting list, which is a bit too long sadly. Hoping my GP can get me into something since nothing is really working atm. Hopefully, will be able to find something that works, or at least maybe a confirmed diagnosis

lukesmom · 24-04-2013 8:59pm

Can any of you resonate with me when I say that when I'm having a 'blip' as I call it, I fear I will NEVER come out of this episode as its just so intense?

Gremlinertia · 24-04-2013 10:27pm

lukesmom wrote: »

Can any of you resonate with me when I say that when I'm having a 'blip' as I call it, I fear I will NEVER come out of this episode as its just so intense?

I get it.. I truly do.. PM sent should you want. but otherwise i'll be here anyway..

Hersheys · 24-04-2013 11:36pm

So sleepy but can't sleep.

Psych nor gp will give me anything for sleeping given my recent revelations.

So it's insomnia central.

Call Me Jimmy · 25-04-2013 1:17am

Crying uncontrollably for the last hour, pretty much non-stop. Have a feeling this will be my last bad-bout however long it lasts. It's too much. And its not worth anything that I'm feeling this way.

lukesmom · 25-04-2013 9:34am

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I get it.. I truly do.. PM sent should you want. but otherwise i'll be here anyway..

Thanks I got your pm. It won't let me pm back I will have to check why I can't send pm's back. Good you understand it's horrible isn't it. I'm just going with the flow at the moment, trying to occupy myself until the fog passes over.

lukesmom · 25-04-2013 9:35am

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Crying uncontrollably for the last hour, pretty much non-stop. Have a feeling this will be my last bad-bout however long it lasts. It's too much. And its not worth anything that I'm feeling this way.

How are you this morning?

scrimshanker · 25-04-2013 11:30am

Having a bad time of it lately. Thinking of giving up on the PhD. Was actually in the student medical centre today and was going to ask about getting back into the counseling service but 2 girls came up behind me and I balked it.

lukesmom · 25-04-2013 12:04pm

scrimshanker wrote: »

Having a bad time of it lately. Thinking of giving up on the PhD. Was actually in the student medical centre today and was going to ask about getting back into the counseling service but 2 girls came up behind me and I balked it.

Don't give up on your phd. You should maybe call the medical centre and try get back into the counselling service.

scrimshanker · 25-04-2013 12:49pm

lukesmom wrote: »

Don't give up on your phd. You should maybe call the medical centre and try get back into the counselling service.

I just hate what I'm working on and can't imagine having to stick more of it. I just want to be done with it, take a masters (if I get one, the idea of having to do a viva is making me just want to run away) and get on with my life. Due to some part of me I know I should go back to the counselling service.. It started working last time before I left it, but I hated going to it. The counsellor was so sympathetic and gentle and nice and for some reason that really didn't sit well with me. The other thing is that yesterday, for example, I woke up feeling fine but today and the day before yesterday I've been plagued with the fear. I'd feel like some kind of imposter if I went in feeling fine and gave out about been unhappy and all that. I'm quite sure there are plenty of people who actually need and want counselling who I'd be holding up from getting an appointment. I wish I could go home and wrap myself in a duvet.

lukesmom · 25-04-2013 2:03pm

scrimshanker wrote: »

I just hate what I'm working on and can't imagine having to stick more of it. I just want to be done with it, take a masters (if I get one, the idea of having to do a viva is making me just want to run away) and get on with my life. Due to some part of me I know I should go back to the counselling service.. It started working last time before I left it, but I hated going to it. The counsellor was so sympathetic and gentle and nice and for some reason that really didn't sit well with me. The other thing is that yesterday, for example, I woke up feeling fine but today and the day before yesterday I've been plagued with the fear. I'd feel like some kind of imposter if I went in feeling fine and gave out about been unhappy and all that. I'm quite sure there are plenty of people who actually need and want counselling who I'd be holding up from getting an appointment. I wish I could go home and wrap myself in a duvet.

Never mind what other people may or may not need. You have to look after yourself. The counsellor I'm sure will be well aware of the fact that people have bad and better days. Don't let this stop you from seeking the help you need, after all it was beginning to work.

who_me · 26-04-2013 11:33am

scrimshanker wrote: »

I just hate what I'm working on and can't imagine having to stick more of it. I just want to be done with it, take a masters (if I get one, the idea of having to do a viva is making me just want to run away) and get on with my life. Due to some part of me I know I should go back to the counselling service.. It started working last time before I left it, but I hated going to it. The counsellor was so sympathetic and gentle and nice and for some reason that really didn't sit well with me. The other thing is that yesterday, for example, I woke up feeling fine but today and the day before yesterday I've been plagued with the fear. I'd feel like some kind of imposter if I went in feeling fine and gave out about been unhappy and all that. I'm quite sure there are plenty of people who actually need and want counselling who I'd be holding up from getting an appointment. I wish I could go home and wrap myself in a duvet.

Don't look at it like that, that's the perfect time to have a counselling session. When you're at your lowest, it's more difficult to make any changes in your life, or even see how things can improve. It's when you're "up" that you need to take advantage of the sessions.

I know what you mean about the counsellor being overly sympathetic, I felt exactly the same way. You could mention it to her/him, if you felt comfortable doing so. In my case, I mentioned it to my psychiatrist that I'd stopped going, I'd prefer someone a bit more blunt and direct, she asked if I'd prefer a male or female counsellor and the counsellor she recommended was excellent.

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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