LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

mickman · 26-02-2014 6:24pm

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Hi Folks just wondering if i could get some advice.

I have attended a day hospital for the past 5 weeks and this will be my last week. My company doc has also started to introduce me back into work slowly. Everything seemed to be on the up however i seem to be falling again slowly.

I am on my final week in the aware lifeskills programme
I could teach a class on my illness i know that much about it and what i need to do to beat it but nothing is working and i cant stop the thoughts and im starting to cry again. I mentioned to the psych doc about upping my anti depressant but i was told im not depressed. I really thing shes wrong as i am on my meds over 2 months and i still feel like sh*t.

I have attanded the day hospital and all the classes
I am doing the aware life skills
I speak to a psychotherapist
Im slowly getting back to work
I still cant get the motivation to exercise as i feel constantly drained and tired
i meditate
i try mindfulness

I am trying my best to beat this but nothing is working ive lots of family and friends who care, everyone is routing for me and im trying my best to fight it. But im falling. what else am i suppose to do?

If your meds arent doing anything after 2 months then maybe she is right and you are not depressed ? and its somethign else ?

sunshine and showers · 26-02-2014 7:01pm

Does anyone have any advice for atypical depression? Finding it tough today.

DeVore · 26-02-2014 7:48pm

I hadnt heard of that before but I read up about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atypical_depression

If that's accurate then some actions that will put you in a positive mindset might help. Like a long hot bath, a pleasant meditation or even listening to your favourite album (nothing sad!). I dunno if that will work but hey, is sounds nice anyway!

sunshine and showers · 26-02-2014 9:49pm

DeVore wrote: »

I hadnt heard of that before but I read up about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atypical_depression

If that's accurate then some actions that will put you in a positive mindset might help. Like a long hot bath, a pleasant meditation or even listening to your favourite album (nothing sad!). I dunno if that will work but hey, is sounds nice anyway!

Thanks. It's a lot like depression in the usual sense, just with the mood reactivity at times and the horrible oversleeping/leaden limbs feeling, etc. In fact, it often starts with major depressive disorder, mine did. It can be tricky to diagnose - took two years in my case.

Today was just a bad day.Just had a good chat with my therapist so feeling a bit better. Thank you for the reply and for starting such an informative, helpful thread.

picaaf · 26-02-2014 11:46pm

sunshine and showers wrote: »

Today was just a bad day.Just had a good chat with my therapist so feeling a bit better. Thank you for the reply and for starting such an informative, helpful thread.

just heard a song ..."today has been okay"...

PTH2009 · 27-02-2014 12:28am

im gone cold turkey on my mirtazapine because i dont like the weight i put on by taking them.

I got prespricted them because i wasant sleeping a night and it did help me sleep (sometimes i slept most of the day).

I feel a bit down but i managing alrite without the tablets.

I still have to take Rizperidone but i didnt put on any weight taking them

lukesmom · 27-02-2014 12:32am

PTH2009 wrote: »

im gone cold turkey on my mirtazapine because i dont like the weight i put on by taking them.

I got prespricted them because i wasant sleeping a night and it did help me sleep (sometimes i slept most of the day).

I feel a bit down but i managing alrite without the tablets.

I still have to take Rizperidone but i didnt put on any weight taking them

Hey I came off mirtazapine two weeks ago and my appetite is much lower thank God!

Photo-Sniper · 27-02-2014 12:34am

Someone very close to me suffers from depression and I have learned to deal with it very well even though it can be tough at times.

Experienced it myself at a young age but battled out of it somehow. Absolutely horrible thing

27-02-2014 3:29pm

Haven't posted here for a bit. Not because things have been better but 'cause it's the same-old problems again and again and there's not much point in repeating myself.

Have spent the best part of the past three days in bed. There's just nothing worth getting up for at the moment.

FollatonWood · 27-02-2014 3:46pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Haven't posted here for a bit. Not because things have been better but 'cause it's the same-old problems again and again and there's not much point in repeating myself.

Have spent the best part of the past three days in bed. There's just nothing worth getting up for at the moment.

Hey, I know the feeling. My routine lately has been work-bed-work-bed and repeat.

The crunch came today when I couldn't face going into work, thankfully they let me work from home the odd time but I still knew it was a bad sign that I couldn't make myself go in. Thing is, when things get low like this it's sink or swim and you really really have to push as hard as you can to not let yourself go too far under. I made myself go over to the gym this morning, just to do something, and I feel a bit better for it to be honest. If I hadn't gone, I'd most likely still be in bed and probably wouldn't get into work tomorrow either.

Is there anything you can do today to get yourself up and moving? I know every thing feels pointless, but tell yourself there doesn't have to be a point - don't think, just do it. Be it a walk or a run or whatever. You know? Sometimes thinking can be your worst enemy.

looking_around · 27-02-2014 6:10pm

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

I mentioned to the psych doc about upping my anti depressant but i was told im not depressed. I really thing shes wrong as i am on my meds over 2 months and i still feel like sh*t.

You might want to try switching meds, though depends on the med and whether you're at full dose or not.

Any chance you could talk to your actual doctor about the meds? I find psychiatrists in this country to be less than helpful. (personal experience)
Your GP will be able to adjust meds as needed.

I point blank refused to see psychs for the last 2 years, my GP has handled med dosage/change just fine. And I've manage my depression much better. (Particularly as I can see my GP sooner/more often than any psych).

When the psych said you weren't depressed, did you ask her why she thought that? and what did she think was the problem then?

Drumpot · 27-02-2014 6:37pm

Reading a few people talking about how they feel they are trying everything and getting nowhere.

I get that sometimes where I feel like I am taking two steps forward and three steps back, but then I remember that its my own thinking that has been a huge part of my problem. My own perception of "my world".

I was complaining about the lack of sleep I have been getting lately (in with Dr earlier) and when he asked me "do you still have trouble getting asleep", I said "no". I felt like a bit of a twit as I used to beg him for sleeping tablets. He said, its prob the stress of job and having a new baby in the house, which means that my sleeping patterns are just normal run of the mill problems but I just couldn't see it . . Yay for that . .

As Devore said, we are all at different levels of our development and it can be difficult to see any progress. I find myself constantly looking at where I want to be in relation to sleep, work, family etc., instead of actually trying to acknowledge that I have made great progress from where I started from.

One thing I would urge caution on is self diagnosis or people presuming that because they don't like something that its not going to help. If you think your doctor, psychiatrist or therapist is not for you, get a second opinion off a qualified individual (not just somebody who agrees with you) on what you should do. You may know exactly how you feel and while you may not agree or like what a medical/qualified person says is the solution, it doesn't mean its wrong.

Its not wrong to not like certain therapies or medications and its certainly not wrong to question them if you are unsure. But, I feel it was my thinking that was preventing me from making the kinds of progress I have made today. My unwillingness to get out of my comfort zone, my dismissive attitudes to trying things I just didn't want to consider or agree with. In the end, I had to stop second guessing the professional advice I was being given and just trust that it would help and it did . . One of the most liberating experiences in my life was being able to pass my problems over to a professional and actually not feel like I was the only person who knew how to fix my pain!

El_Dangeroso · 27-02-2014 6:53pm

Saw this and thought of y'all xx

http://www.depressioncomix.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/depcom.159.col_.400px.jpg

Lyrab23 · 27-02-2014 11:53pm

Haven't been on boards for a while either. My partner suffers badly from depression and I look to the posts here to get some idea of what he must be going through and to try to understand it/help in any way. Thank you for sharing - it made a big difference for us.

The last year and a half has been chaotic to say the least. We went to the doctor (who was amazing, helpful, knowledgeable) and he started with sick leave and meds and referred us to an amazing therapist

The meds werent helping, in fact it got worse. Doses were lowered but the suicidal ideations were still frequent. The only thing that helped was therapy and total bed rest. No phones, no Internet etc.

After a series of self harm episodes he referred us to a facility in Wexford. Complete disaster. They were ignorant, accusing, and decided on a diagnosis straight away. Also with a higher dose of meds. This ended up as a big mess, bad suicide attempt and hospitalisation.

On the plus side - Waterford hospital was really helpful. The staff there -in our experience - are wonderful and understanding. He was taken completely off meds and recommended to continue Therapy/CBT and to retrain for a more suitable career choice.

And then we got a big surprise, we are having a baby. So yeah, a chaotic year ahead now too! I'll let y'all know if it actually changes things/aggravates things/improves things.

Meanwhile, the single most helpful thing for him was to pursue what he really wanted to do - be a writer. And his blog lets me know how he feels when it gets bad and he shuts off or becomes unresponsive.

Here it is;

http://katabasistoanabasis.blogspot.ie/search?updated-min=2014-01-01T00:00:00Z&updated-max=2015-01-01T00:00:00Z&max-results=1&m=0

The post linked was written not long after we found out we were expecting. It made me cry a lot.

Please comment or post there if anything strikes a chord or to let him know he's not alone with these thoughts.

We have been together for a long time - and I knew about the depression from the beginning. It doesn't change how I feel about him - there is so much about him that is amazing that he just doesn't believe. And probably never will.

He barely believed that I could love him after all.

Call Me Jimmy · 28-02-2014 3:18pm

I have been interested recently in the link between (broad terms) creatives and depressives. I believe that everyone's mind works differently and that under the broad band of what is a creative person, from what I see they are more likely to be depressive. I do also believe that everyone is a creative, but most are on a normal scale.

For those whose mind works on the level of exceptionally creative (not as a measure of their 'creative' output, but brain function and patterns), there is a disposition towards depressive states imo.

The pragmatic problem is a lot of people may have this type of mind and not know it. Secondly, they may know it but circumstances mightn't allow for its channeled expression. For me, expression is a serious release valve and if there isn't a place for it, things build up.

The thing about any art-related endeavor is it takes dedication to learn/master any craft, while doing so a potential artist is much maligned in society, scoffed at. But for every artist that ever 'made it' they will tell you the same story that if they spoke about it they were objects of ridicule, once they do well or get validation in the form of work or selling things it flips on its head and most of those same people now envy them.

Photo-Sniper · 28-02-2014 5:34pm

Lyrab23 wrote: »

Haven't been on boards for a while either. My partner suffers badly from depression and I look to the posts here to get some idea of what he must be going through and to try to understand it/help in any way. Thank you for sharing - it made a big difference for us.

The last year and a half has been chaotic to say the least. We went to the doctor (who was amazing, helpful, knowledgeable) and he started with sick leave and meds and referred us to an amazing therapist

The meds werent helping, in fact it got worse. Doses were lowered but the suicidal ideations were still frequent. The only thing that helped was therapy and total bed rest. No phones, no Internet etc.

After a series of self harm episodes he referred us to a facility in Wexford. Complete disaster. They were ignorant, accusing, and decided on a diagnosis straight away. Also with a higher dose of meds. This ended up as a big mess, bad suicide attempt and hospitalisation.

On the plus side - Waterford hospital was really helpful. The staff there -in our experience - are wonderful and understanding. He was taken completely off meds and recommended to continue Therapy/CBT and to retrain for a more suitable career choice.

And then we got a big surprise, we are having a baby. So yeah, a chaotic year ahead now too! I'll let y'all know if it actually changes things/aggravates things/improves things.

Meanwhile, the single most helpful thing for him was to pursue what he really wanted to do - be a writer. And his blog lets me know how he feels when it gets bad and he shuts off or becomes unresponsive.

Here it is;

http://katabasistoanabasis.blogspot.ie/search?updated-min=2014-01-01T00:00:00Z&updated-max=2015-01-01T00:00:00Z&max-results=1&m=0

The post linked was written not long after we found out we were expecting. It made me cry a lot.

Please comment or post there if anything strikes a chord or to let him know he's not alone with these thoughts.

We have been together for a long time - and I knew about the depression from the beginning. It doesn't change how I feel about him - there is so much about him that is amazing that he just doesn't believe. And probably never will.

He barely believed that I could love him after all.

I am not an emotional person but that blog post struck a chord in me. Wish your partner the best from me. Keep his head held up high and he will get through it. Poor guy..

Lyrab23 · 28-02-2014 10:29pm

@ Call Me Jimmy

I agree. Most of the people I know who suffer from depression are very creative and I would say definitely above average intelligence. That, coupled with a traumatic event(s) in a few cases.

They are all very ambitious, and very funny too. Clichéd as it is; I think the recession has increased frustrations - trapped people in debt and sh*tty jobs they would otherwise have quit.

Or worse, no jobs. The majority of people don't want to be in the dole queue. Soul destroying. Especially when well meaning relatives and friends awkwardly bring it up. Every week!

@ Photo-Sniper

Thanks, that means a lot. The last year or so has taught me all about emotions and feelings. I feel like I've been put through the washing machine and hung out to dry sometimes.

But I'm glad - after listening to a lot of people here and my partner too, it's the absence of feelings that is a bigger issue and the one that sets all my alarms off.

But, I think for him to be happy, he'd have to have the opposite of every other quality that I love. Catch 22, huh.

So I appreciate and love everything we have and all the small things, because I thought I lost it all a few times and that will always be there in the back of my mind.

DeVore · 01-03-2014 6:56pm

LyraB... a unexpected, unpredicted kindness or gesture that can only be interpreted positively is often a good trick for people who have poor self esteem. It can be the one piece of cast iron certainty that allows them to spin back up towards the light.
Definitely for me, being able to cast my mind back to something a loved one did for me out of the blue can really help. Its certainty in the face of thoughts telling you nonsense.

Lyrab23 · 01-03-2014 7:49pm

DeVore wrote: »

LyraB... a unexpected, unpredicted kindness or gesture that can only be interpreted positively is often a good trick for people who have poor self esteem. It can be the one piece of cast iron certainty that allows them to spin back up towards the light.
Definitely for me, being able to cast my mind back to something a loved one did for me out of the blue can really help. Its certainty in the face of thoughts telling you nonsense.

Thanks DeVore.

It's sounds like something that's nicer than just talking about it again - I'll post back any success.

It's funny, because it's something I naturally do for my best friend when she is down or having a bad week. But not something I have done for the lads that are my best friends. Food for thought...

Vito Corleone · 01-03-2014 11:27pm

How easy is it for a psychiatrist to have you involuntarily committed?

Call Me Jimmy · 02-03-2014 1:39am

Very difficult without crimes it is nigh on impossible

lukesmom · 02-03-2014 1:41am

Vito Corleone wrote: »

How easy is it for a psychiatrist to have you involuntarily committed?

Easy enough if you are considered a danger to yourself or to others.

Gleeso_Finglas · 02-03-2014 12:07pm

Struggling at the moment.

Since switching to my new meds over 2 months ago I still dont feel right at all and the psych docs and nurses in the day hospital continue to highlight how well equipped I am with my broad knowledge of my illness and what helps.

I am trying to use the cbt skills I learned at the lifeskills programme but I am constantly on edge I can honestly feel something isnt right upstairs and everytime that I mention an increase in my anti depressant they tell me they dont think it will help. I am fighting with my thoughts and feelings every second of every day. This morning I just cant hold it in and I sit here crying my eyes out.

There has been a slight improvement in my mood over the weeks and friends and family have said it to me that I seem in better form. But I just dont feel it.

Sick of this.

looking_around · 02-03-2014 12:18pm

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Struggling at the moment.

Since switching to my new meds over 2 months ago I still dont feel right at all and the psych docs and nurses in the day hospital continue to highlight how well equipped I am with my broad knowledge of my illness and what helps.

I am trying to use the cbt skills I learned at the lifeskills programme but I am constantly on edge I can honestly feel something isnt right upstairs and everytime that I mention an increase in my anti depressant they tell me they dont think it will help. I am fighting with my thoughts and feelings every second of every day. This morning I just cant hold it in and I sit here crying my eyes out.

There has been a slight improvement in my mood over the weeks and friends and family have said it to me that I seem in better form. But I just dont feel it.

Sick of this.

Increasing meds don't always help. Also you might be on the highest dose of that med. Generally docs don't fluff around and get people to the 'best' dose for depression.
If it's that, taking more will be ineffective.

Its ok to cry, you shouldn't fight that. If you need to cry, cry.

But what you need to start doing is showing yourself that you're feeling better. If others have noticed..that probably means you're having more energy lately? being more active? more conversational?

Also, do you talk about the thoughts that bring you down?
What is it you're thinking? Why? and where did it come from?
(you don't have to tell us...but knowing why we're thinking something can often be enough to stop thinking that.)

The next step is setting yourself a goal, importantly one that you look forward to.

My short term goal is getting fitter via cycling. My long term is getting a job, so I can afford my own horse.

Goals keep you focused, and give you a reason to fight.
I find it's important to fight for yourself, and not because of friends/family, as that can feel like unwanted pressure and that I'm a failure to them.

Chiquitita · 02-03-2014 4:44pm

Gleeso if it's any consolation im feeling the EXACT same. Giving it two weeks then going to have to say it to psych.
Ive even tried exercising but I find that my mind wanders so much that i'm in a tizzy.

This evening im going to sit beside the fire, read the paper and watch the soaps. I know that I enjoy that, if only I could SHUT my thoughts and just take it for what it is without letting my mind go insane

Call Me Jimmy · 02-03-2014 5:06pm

When I shut out expectations, good and bad, I find I can enjoy simple things better. Or at least not get into a tizzy.

It's a much calmer space, nothing has changed materially but just the amount of expectations and projections that used to be in my head just kept me and my body wringing in anticipation of nothing.

At the moment I'm happy that I'm not feeling ill, I'm not under any direct threat and I have nothing to prove to the world because it has nothing to prove to me. There's nothing that it can surprise me with anymore as I've been here long enough to know that meaning is exclusively what you actively create as meaning. If you don't actively create or derive meaning from things they are just things as I am just a thing.

If you take away the inner monologue from the person what is left? I would say very little and a lot all at the same time. I treat the inner monologue as sugary foods. Deceptively addictive, in society deemed relatively harmless, instant kick off it, however ultimately dissatisfying. Good news is for me, like eating bad food, I indulge less in the narrative love affair we all have with ourselves to assert our own importance. Many people fear letting go of this narrative, life through a lens, but for me it has resulted in just a deep sense of calm and peace.

Call Me Jimmy · 02-03-2014 5:16pm

And for anyone interested in an existential one-act play:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB-1LHStxu8

McChubbin · 02-03-2014 6:26pm

I feel so completely unmotivated today. The laundry is piling up, my bed linen needs changing, my room is an utter bombsite and I KNOW I have to clean it all but I'm just not in the humor. I feel very lost today and sorely lacking in motivation. I didn't even get changed from my pyjamas until 4pm and that's only because the dog needed a walk.
Tomorrow, after having a week off due to a slew of doctor's appointments, I'm back in college and I dread it. I feel like my course is going nowhere and it's really grinding me down having to commute into town following a 7:30am start. I hate the mornings anyways no matter how much coffee I ingest.
To be perfectly honest, I would rather just stay home and attempt to write short stories but even that seems like an uphill struggle.
I've got writer's block like never before and everything I try to write feels forced and strained.
As much as I hate the very notion of getting up in what is essentially the middle of the night of me, I know I need to force myself to go into college. I've only got about 6-8 weeks left on the course anyways so I might as well suck it up and do the work.
Then, after this course finishes, there's a long wait ahead for the next one and I'm not even sure if I want to go into catering despite my keen interest in cooking.
I just feel like I'm going through the motions for the sake of having some reason to get out of bed and it's so frustrating trying to break free from this bleak veil hanging over me.

To make matters worse, I also have an ear infection which is making me feel doubly miserable.

Gleeso_Finglas · 02-03-2014 6:40pm

Thanks looking around. I was having a really bad morning. I have spent the day going through my cbt stuff and updating my laptop with the new photoshop etc as I am a photographer at the ireland game on wednesday.

In regards to the med thing im on 175mg the max dose is 375mg maybe I will talk to my gp when the day hospital discharge me. I really need a change in diet and need to get back exercising but I find myself a bit dizzy or tired legs so I just give in.

I do have some positives.

1.distressing thoughts have calmed some what
2.i got out and shot an mma event last saturday.
3.i will be a photographer at the ireland game
4 I am back in work for 2 days this week.

Other then these I am not really leaving the apartment. I just need that spark to get moving and maybe my meds increased.

Chiq maybe goin back to see your doc sooner if you feel that way.

WOW go you getting exercise the more you do it..it becomes natural and u will start feeling good about your self. Tjats a bloody huge step!!

DeVore · 02-03-2014 7:33pm

I'm terrible for just letting things "pile up" like laundry and what have you. One trick I have is to just pick one thing, and do that. Just one thing today but do it properly, thoroughly. I always feel like thats the start... just that one thing and I feel better for having done it.

LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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