How many sexual partners have you had so far?

Princess Peach · 18-06-2012 1:03am

zega wrote: »

She straight up asked me $:\$

It's obviously a huge deal for her! I have never asked a boyfriend, no matter how long we were together, I don't really want to know. Just had general conversations about past experiences to get a feel for how they view sex if you get me.

It can be a turn off for some, not for others. Don't worry about it!

validusername1 · 18-06-2012 1:07am

Deleted User wrote: »

Is there any truth in the theory in one of the American Pie movies that guys will talk up the amount of partners they've had, and women will talk down the number they've had? I know I'd be more inclined to want to round downwards, though I've never actually lied about it.

Well I'm female, I wouldn't lie about my number. But if it was a few higher than it currently is, I may lie. Just 'cause people tend to judge on that. But if it was a boyfriend that asked, I'd tell the truth no matter what the number was. I think guys are more likely to lie and give a higher number 'cause of the whole 'makes you a bigger legend if you've rid more girls' stereotype. Not that I think that but yknow.

MrStuffins · 18-06-2012 1:09am

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

It's my pick up line sure :rolleyes:

Jenny: "Fancy going out some time?"

- Guy: "I'm not so sure!

Jenny: "I can give you the numbers of 12 other guys who will tell you how I put out!"

- Guy: "I'll pick you up at 8"

Smidge · 18-06-2012 1:09am

validusername1 wrote: »

Well I'm female, I wouldn't lie about my number. But if it was a few higher than it currently is, I may lie. Just 'cause people tend to judge on that. But if it was a boyfriend that asked, I'd tell the truth no matter what the number was. I think guys are more likely to lie and give a higher number 'cause of the whole 'makes you a bigger legend if you've rid more girls' stereotype. Not that I think that but yknow.

IMO never tell a guy your real number, it tends to end up as canon fodder!

Micky Dolenz · 18-06-2012 1:12am

zega wrote: »

She straight up asked me $:\$

Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.

Jen Pigs Fly · 18-06-2012 1:14am

MrStuffins wrote: »

Jenny: "Fancy going out some time?"

- Guy: "I'm not so sure!

Jenny: "I can give you the numbers of 12 other guys who will tell you how I put out!"

- Guy: "I'll pick you up at 8"

They never say they're "Not so sure"

MrStuffins · 18-06-2012 1:16am

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

They never say they're "Not so sure"

Infamy can be a curse AND a blessing :P

xsiborg · 18-06-2012 1:17am

mishkalucy wrote: »

validusername1 wrote: »

Well I'm female, I wouldn't lie about my number. But if it was a few higher than it currently is, I may lie. Just 'cause people tend to judge on that. But if it was a boyfriend that asked, I'd tell the truth no matter what the number was. I think guys are more likely to lie and give a higher number 'cause of the whole 'makes you a bigger legend if you've rid more girls' stereotype. Not that I think that but yknow.

IMO never tell a guy your real number, it tends to end up as canon fodder!

as you get older, your "number" becomes less and less relevant, i find that whole guys bragging about their "number" is just nonsense that came from american frat movies and romcoms and even the likes of american pie.

what's more important and what you never seem to hear about in the movies is the idea of practicing safe sex, because anything that's "safe" implies immediately that its taking all the fun out of it.

i wonder how many young girls are in for the shock of their lives when they realise that guys dont spray sparkly tinsel when they come!

Smidge · 18-06-2012 1:21am

xsiborg wrote: »

as you get older, your "number" becomes less and less relevant, i find that whole guys bragging about their "number" is just nonsense that came from american frat movies and romcoms and even the likes of american pie.

what's more important and what you never seem to hear about in the movies is the idea of practicing safe sex, because anything that's "safe" implies immediately that its taking all the fun out of it.

i wonder how many young girls are in for the shock of their lives when they realise that guys dont spray sparkly tinsel when they come!

Agreed!

But I was referring to the "number" as canon fodder in relationships where people have talked too much about their past and jealousy can ensue

validusername1 · 18-06-2012 1:22am

mishkalucy wrote: »

IMO never tell a guy your real number, it tends to end up as canon fodder!

What's a canon fodder? & what kinda number do you think is appropriate to tell guys? I'm 18

Snowie · 18-06-2012 1:27am

mishkalucy wrote: »

IMO never tell a guy your real number, it tends to end up as canon fodder!

really guess if that depends on the guy too.. Id be more interested in weather you are easy to talk to rather then your age...

Make no sense to worry about an age ...

Smidge · 18-06-2012 1:28am

Canon fodder means that the information may be shared about past relationships during intimate moments.
But when the proverbial hits the fan, it can be used against you!

There is no number for an 18 yr old, you should enjoy your life, not make numbers;)

xsiborg · 18-06-2012 1:30am

validusername1 wrote: »

mishkalucy wrote: »

IMO never tell a guy your real number, it tends to end up as canon fodder!

What's a canon fodder? & what kinda number do you think is appropriate to tell guys? I'm 18

cannon fodder is simply just a way of saying you're setting yourself up for all sorts of judgement and trouble that really you could do without.

as for what number you tell guys, just tell them that really its none of their business, and any guy that's immature enough to press the point, isnt worth sleeping with, because that's just looking to stroke his own ego imho.

it shouldnt matter as long as you're both taking precautions and looking after your sexual health.

Pedant · 18-06-2012 1:38am

Are guys here counting one night stands? It's just I'm slightly confused that most guys on here were only with 1-4 sexual partners.

MrStuffins · 18-06-2012 1:40am

Pedant wrote: »

Are guys here counting one night stands? It's just I'm slightly confused that most guys on here were only with 1-4 sexual partners.

Some guys have no interest in one-nighters and prefer sex to be with someone you have built a relationship with.

If they're extremely lucky the number might even be 1!

Pedant · 18-06-2012 1:42am

MrStuffins wrote: »

Some guys have no interest in one-nighters and prefer sex to be with someone you have built a relationship with.

If they're extremely lucky the number might even be 1!

Yes but younger guys in their late teen or early twenties aren't always like that, especially in college.

MrStuffins · 18-06-2012 1:44am

Pedant wrote: »

Yes but younger guys in their late teen or early twenties aren't always like that, especially in college.

For the most part.

Some people meet their future spouse in their school years!

Pedant · 18-06-2012 1:49am

MrStuffins wrote: »

For the most part.

Some people meet their future spouse in their school years!

Some, but most don't. Generally speaker, younger guys 18-25 are more promiscuous.

MrStuffins · 18-06-2012 1:54am

Pedant wrote: »

Some, but most don't. Generally speaker, younger guys 18-25 are more promiscuous.

Indeed, some.

Also, you'd be surprised how many guys actually have standards! "Any hole's a goal" is not a universal motto.

OakeyDokey · 18-06-2012 1:54am

Slept with four lads, none of them one night stands (not my thing). My number seems quite average with men and women. I'm also not embarrassed or ashamed of my 'magic number'

Pedant · 18-06-2012 2:18am

Damn, now I feel like a slut.

Jen Pigs Fly · 18-06-2012 2:24am

Pedant wrote: »

Damn, now I feel like a slut.

Spill :P

Pedant · 18-06-2012 2:28am

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

Spill :P

Seriously, I'm been sexually active since I was 20 (I'm 21 now) and already been with 4. That's under a year! I'm a freakin' man-slut. Ugh! Now I understand why women fear being branded as sluts. I think I'll stop being and atheist an go to mass again, going to confession and bathing myself in holy water to cleanse me of my perversions and impurities.

mauzo · 18-06-2012 2:29am

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

Spill :P

Sounds like he already has....a few times!!

EI_Flyboy · 18-06-2012 2:30am

zega wrote: »

She straight up asked me $:\$

Wow! That's a very personal question for someone you're just dating. You can turn a situation like that around by pointing out that every relationship is practice for the one that lasts the rest of your lives and if you've had relationships with 20/30/40 other women, she has to be more special than all of them for her to have a chance with you. If she's really pissy with you, you could tell her if she's only been with 2 or 3 guys, any guy only really needs to be better than those 2 or 3 to get with her and you're pretty sure you're more special than that. Plus never answer that question before her, insist if she wants to know, she should have the courtesy of telling you first and tell her if you think she's lying.

MrStuffins · 18-06-2012 2:30am

Pedant wrote: »

Seriously, I'm been sexually active since I was 20 (I'm 21 now) and already been with 4. That's under a year! I'm a freakin' man-slut. Ugh! Now I understand why women fear being branded as sluts. I think I'll stop being and atheist and go to mass again, going to confession and bathing myself in holy water to cleanse me of my perversions and impurities.

4 is nothing, sure you could do that in a weekend!

Jen Pigs Fly · 18-06-2012 2:31am

Pedant wrote: »

Seriously, I'm been sexually active since I was 20 (I'm 21 now) and already been with 4. That's under a year! I'm a freakin' man-slut. Ugh! Now I understand why women fear being branded as sluts.

Ah that not too bad now in all fairness

Pedant · 18-06-2012 2:32am

MrStuffins wrote: »

4 is nothing, sure you could do that in a weekend!

I'm sure I could do it in 6 hours. But now I feel all impure. I've defiled myself.

Jen Pigs Fly · 18-06-2012 2:32am

syndeyfife wrote: »

Sounds like he already has....a few times!!

I like your style, lets be friends

MrStuffins · 18-06-2012 2:35am

Pedant wrote: »

I'm sure I could do it in 6 hours. But now I feel all impure. I've defiled myself.

I don't doubt that you've defiled yourself 4 times in 6 hours!

Pedant · 18-06-2012 2:36am

MrStuffins wrote: »

I don't doubt that you've defiled yourself 4 times in 6 hours!

Nah, I could defile myself 3 times an hour for sure.

Micky Dolenz · 18-06-2012 2:38am

Snowie wrote: »

really guess if that depends on the guy too.. Id be more interested in weather you are easy to talk to rather then your age...

Make no sense to worry about an age ...

Have you really got sweets in the back of your van?

later12 · 18-06-2012 2:41am

I once decided to take an STD test and inadvertantly left my "list" (the place I went encouraged you to make a list of former partners) in my jeans pocket, and my Mum found it. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't very stupidly headed it "Sex" with my first and most long term girlfriend listed on top.

I'm not going to mention my exact number but I'm very OK with it, mostly on grounds that I know the surnames of all my previous partners, which I think indicates at least some level of relationship before or after the event. I'm not particularly precious about sex, but I would feel bad about doing it with a girl whom I'd never speak to again.

Therefore even if they're just there somewhere on the back of my facebook, there remains some vaguely personal element to what we did. Not sure why that ought to matter but it does!

OakeyDokey · 18-06-2012 2:43am

Pedant wrote: »

Seriously, I'm been sexually active since I was 20 (I'm 21 now) and already been with 4. That's under a year! I'm a freakin' man-slut. Ugh! Now I understand why women fear being branded as sluts. I think I'll stop being and atheist an go to mass again, going to confession and bathing myself in holy water to cleanse me of my perversions and impurities.

I'm also only 21. I don't see anything wrong with that, people focus too much on the number rather than circumstance. I could go out and sleep with one person (not use protection) and get an STI but I could also go out sleep with 10 guys (use protection) and be grand. As long as a person is being safe (if it's a one night stand) then what does it matter? You shouldn't be too hard on yourself it isn't like it's illegal.

Fair f*cks to you for waiting until the age of 20 to do anything!

Pedant · 18-06-2012 2:55am

OakeyDokey wrote: »

I'm also only 21. I don't see anything wrong with that, people focus too much on the number rather than circumstance. I could go out and sleep with one person (not use protection) and get an STI but I could also go out sleep with 10 guys (use protection) and be grand. As long as a person is being safe (if it's a one night stand) then what does it matter? You shouldn't be too hard on yourself it isn't like it's illegal.

Fair f*cks to you for waiting until the age of 20 to do anything!

I don't really see it as "ah sure, as long as it's safe, it's grand" (though being safe obviously matters), rather I look at the morality of it. If you share that physical intimacy with someone and then don't talk to them again there's this void and you feel empty. Then you're painted as a promiscuous slut and feel even more empty.

MrStuffins · 18-06-2012 3:02am

Pedant wrote: »

I don't really see it as "ah sure, as long as it's safe, it's grand", rather I look at the morality of it. If you share that physical intimacy with someone and then don't talk to them again there's this void and you feel empty. Then you're painted as a promiscuous slut and feel even more empty.

It all depends on your own concept of what sex is and means.

Some people see it as something 2 people do when they're attracted to each other. Kissing isn't seen as such a big deal. Other sexual activity isn't seen as such a big deal. But as soon as penetration is involved it's different.

There are people who just see sex as an extension of kissing etc.

Victor · 18-06-2012 3:05am

Numbers disaggregated between male and female and percentages recalculated.

Note that the age profile of boards.ie respondents may influence the gender gap.

Not as much difference as the rumours suggest.

OakeyDokey · 18-06-2012 3:06am

Well everyone has their own opinions and that's the way I see it. Sex is a personal thing and should only be between the people involved, when other people start sticking their nose in I'd tell them where to go.

Like I said, I've only slept with 4 lads and all of them were relationships, the shortest one being three months, I got to know them before sleeping with them. I have never been into one night stands and never will as far as I feel at present but I would never judge a person on having too many of them unless of course I knew for a fact that they were doing it unsafe and even at that it's their life so I can't imagine why people should care!

This is just the way I see it though and I'm not telling you how you should feel just explaining myself a little further.

Snowie · 18-06-2012 3:09am

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Have you really got sweets in the back of your van?

Don't you like own camper van?

Owned :pac:

xsiborg · 18-06-2012 3:11am

later12 wrote: »

I once decided to take an STD test and inadvertantly left my "list" (the place I went encouraged you to make a list of former partners) in my jeans pocket, and my Mum found it. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't very stupidly headed it "Sex" with my first and most long term girlfriend listed on top.
!

where did you do an STI test that they made you write down the names of your previous sexual partners? in a confession booth? or did you just make that up? because no STI clinic in ireland will ask you for that information, and i've had numerous STI tests done in numerous clinics over the many years i've been attending them.

did they also try to wedge a teaspoon into your "japs eye" or is that another spurious myth you'd like to perpetuate? :rolleyes:

Pedant · 18-06-2012 3:15am

Victor wrote: »

Numbers disaggregated between male and female and percentages recalculated.

Note that the age profile of boards.ie respondents may influence the gender gap.

Not as much difference as the rumours suggest.

I say that's due to the anonymous nature of the poll.

later12 · 18-06-2012 3:21am

xsiborg wrote: »

where did you do an STI test that they made you write down the names of your previous sexual partners? in a confession booth? or did you just make that up? because no STI clinic in ireland will ask you for that information, and i've had numerous STI tests done in numerous clinics over the many years i've been attending them.

did they also try to wedge a teaspoon into your "japs eye" or is that another spurious myth you'd like to perpetuate? :rolleyes:

Relax, please.

I said they encouraged users of the service to make a list of previous partners. This wasn't supposed to be disclosed to anyone. It's just for the purposes of the user - presumably to reflect upon their sexual history, or maybe if there were anything untoward found in the subsequent test results.

And it was just the usual swab up the japs eye, no teaspoon required; thanks for your interest.

Pedant · 18-06-2012 3:22am

xsiborg wrote: »

where did you do an STI test that they made you write down the names of your previous sexual partners? in a confession booth? or did you just make that up? because no STI clinic in ireland will ask you for that information, and i've had numerous STI tests done in numerous clinics over the many years i've been attending them.

did they also try to wedge a teaspoon into your "japs eye" or is that another spurious myth you'd like to perpetuate? :rolleyes:

I've been to an STI clinic twice, the first was about 10 months ago. The second time I went (~6 months after the first time I went) they asked me about my sexual activity since my last appointment. They didn't ask for names though, just how many different people I was with and if I was aware of their sexual history, etc...

I hate going into STI clinics, as immature as I may sound. It feels as though there's AIDS crawling all over the place.

MrStuffins · 18-06-2012 3:27am

xsiborg wrote: »

did they also try to wedge a teaspoon into your "japs eye" or is that another spurious myth you'd like to perpetuate? :rolleyes:

The teaspoon only comes out if any of the names on the list are that of the Doctor's daughters!

xsiborg · 18-06-2012 3:33am

later12 wrote: »

Relax, please.

I said they encouraged users of the service to make a list of previous partners. This wasn't supposed to be disclosed to anyone. It's just for the purposes of the user - presumably to reflect upon their sexual history, or maybe if there were anything untoward found in the subsequent test results.

And it was just the usual swab up the japs eye, no teaspoon required; thanks for your interest.

it wasnt actually in YOUR interest i made my comment, it was in the interest of those that might read your misleading post and be discouraged from attending an STI clinic, under the misguided impression that they might be "encouraged" or otherwise to name their sexual partners.

as Pedant says there, they will ask you non-specific questions about numbers. and your STI test results are confidential, hence why you only get referred to by a reference number, and they wont go contacting any of your previous sexual partners either if they find anything, they will just contact you alone, the responsibility is up to you then whether or not to inform your previous sexual partners.

later12 · 18-06-2012 3:51am

I just want to clarify that no teaspoon goes up the japs' eye.

i think this grossly misleading statement ought to be clarified.

ihsb · 18-06-2012 8:21am

Pedant wrote: »

Why didn't you just lie?

No, lying is not cool. He could refuse to answer but to lie?! Regardless of the lie, what about safety for her? (Even the safest of sex has dangers)

I would be and have been put off by someone's number. Mine is very low. And I like it that way. I have only had very strong feelings for the men that I have had sex with and have ended up being in love with and having relationships with them. The sex definitely improves too.

I was single for three years between them, and still didn't have sex casually! Just not for me

Hardonraging · 18-06-2012 8:41am

ihsb wrote: »

what about safety for her? (Even the safest of sex has dangers)

Do you look both ways when you cross the road ?

The Big Red Button · 18-06-2012 8:42am

mishkalucy wrote: »

Agreed!

But I was referring to the "number" as canon fodder in relationships where people have talked too much about their past and jealousy can ensue

mishkalucy wrote: »

Canon fodder means that the information may be shared about past relationships during intimate moments.
But when the proverbial hits the fan, it can be used against you!

A relationship where a person would be jealous about my past before I'd even known them, and where they would use honest information that I had discussed with them as "cannon fodder" against me, is not a relationship I would ever want to be in, to be honest.

later12 wrote: »

I'm not going to mention my exact number but I'm very OK with it, mostly on grounds that I know the surnames of all my previous partners

Woohoo I pass this test ... I'm not a slut! :cool:

ihsb wrote: »

No, lying is not cool. He could refuse to answer but to lie?! Regardless of the lie, what about safety for her? (Even the safest of sex has dangers)

Safe sex isn't really about numbers. You could have been with only one person in the past, and be riddled as a result! Or you could have had safe sex with twenty people, and have nothing.

J Cheever Loophole · 18-06-2012 9:47am

Prince Regent - "You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any."

George speaks for me!!

How many sexual partners have you had so far?

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