The Online Dating Thread Part II Mod Warning Read First Post/or Post 7389

Larianne · 20-01-2012 9:46pm

Guy gets in a huff coz I won't add him to Facebook. Fair enough. :rolleyes:

awec · 20-01-2012 9:47pm

This post has been deleted.

stargazer 68 · 20-01-2012 9:47pm

Larianne wrote: »

Guy gets in a huff coz I won't add him to Facebook. Fair enough. :rolleyes:

I never add dates to my FB!! Sod im!

Mental Mickey · 20-01-2012 9:47pm

Larianne wrote: »

Guy gets in a huff coz I won't add him to Facebook. Fair enough. :rolleyes:

LOL

20-01-2012 9:47pm

How else is he going to perve at your photos?

:pac:

Larianne · 20-01-2012 9:51pm

awec wrote: »

He only wants your facebook to get more pictures most likely. Just right to say no.

Dovies wrote: »

I never add dates to my FB!! Sod im!

I've frickin three up on the site!

I said in a joking way They are the best pics you'll get of me and that ones on FB were shockin ones from trips away etc.

Then he said "You're hiding, okay".

I don't add people to FB. End of.

Mental Mickey · 20-01-2012 9:51pm

Larianne wrote: »

I've frickin three up on the site!

I said in a joking way They are the best pics you'll get of me and that ones on FB were shockin ones from trips away etc.

Then he said "You're hiding, okay".

I don't add people to FB. End of.

Hiding? LOL

AnnyHallsal · 20-01-2012 9:59pm

MrNiceGuyEddie wrote: »

Yeah I figured that online dating would be similar to real life dating where the vast majority of women hold all the cards and just sit back waiting to be approached. I thought, well was hoping really, that at least some women would be willing to take a chance and send a message or make an approach as you don't need a fraction of the confidence that they would need in real life plus the rejection isn't nearly as bad as it would be to their face.

Even though I'm on match.com now I might give the free sites ago but I was advised to steer well clear of them as they are apparently full of txt speaking young girls with ridiculously high expectations looking for twentysomething guys who put up photos of their sixpacks. That might be a total cliché but I really don't think my fragile ego could handle the apparent ego massaging on sites like OKC or POF. I might have to bite the bullet on that too unfortunately.

Lastly I am Dublin based but I'm very open to meet women of any nationality either here, in another part of the country or abroad, so they don't have to be Irish women at all, infact I would mind a foreign woman for a change.

Hence the patience and persistence. Plenty of people on this thread have had .. dry spells ... only to suddenly strike it lucky with someone who feels lucky too. Try not to let it affect your confidence - it's not as if the other men are inundated with replies and offers! What you're experiencing is the norm. I think you should definitely check out the free sites. You've nothing to lose, and a couple of the fellas here got talking to overseas girls on ok cupid I think in particular.

Good luck!

awec · 20-01-2012 10:00pm

This post has been deleted.

Larianne · 20-01-2012 10:06pm

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Hiding? LOL

yeah. :rolleyes:

awec wrote: »

If you add him to facebook, go on a date with him and then find he's a total oddball then you're screwed as he already knows all the stuff about you from facebook, your friends etc.

Surely one of the points of online dating is meeting up for no strings attached dating (and I don't mean that in the no strings attached sex way). I just mean you go on a date, have a bit of fun and see how it goes without having to know each others life story!

If it hits off and you get together then brilliant! But at the same time if it doesn't work out you've lost nothing, you can just not meet again. You lose part of that benefit when you start adding to facebook in my opinion.

Sorry, that was a bit of a rant.

Yeah, I agree with you completely. Not sure why he wanted it.

I don't like nosey people anyway! :pac:

JennyBurke101 · 20-01-2012 10:09pm

I find these sites get boring very fast

Have I found my Donnacha O'Callaghan??? No ...no I have not

Just a load of perverts!!

awec · 20-01-2012 10:10pm

This post has been deleted.

Larianne · 20-01-2012 10:11pm

JennyBurke101 wrote: »

I find these sites get boring very fast Have I found my Donnacha O'Callaghan??? No ...no I have not Just a load of perverts!!

Do what I do. Make your profile hidden and then you message the guys. Eliminates the pervs. ALthough having said that, I never got any pervs. :cool: Well maybe one... I think.

Mental Mickey · 20-01-2012 10:13pm

I'm not a perv.

Don't tar us all with the same brush.

20-01-2012 10:14pm

Larianne wrote: »

Do what I do. Make your profile hidden and then you message the guys. Eliminates the pervs. ALthough having said that, I never got any pervs. :cool: Well maybe one... I think.

Me?

:pac:

Larianne · 20-01-2012 10:23pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Me?

:pac:

You're not on POF! (Glad its hidden now!) :pac:

@ Mental Mickey - I think she meant, the only guys who messaged her (or the majority at least) were of the pervy kind.

awec · 20-01-2012 10:24pm

This post has been deleted.

Larianne · 20-01-2012 10:26pm

awec wrote: »

Someone viewed my OKC profile who looks like the girl in your avatar Larriane, was it you? :pac:

I'm not on OKC. Plus, I don't look like Cheetara. (I wish!)

Mental Mickey · 20-01-2012 10:26pm

Got a reply to a message I sent to someone.

Said that I wasnt their type but wished me luck

JennyBurke101 · 20-01-2012 10:42pm

Larianne wrote: »

Do what I do. Make your profile hidden and then you message the guys. Eliminates the pervs. ALthough having said that, I never got any pervs. :cool: Well maybe one... I think.

Ooooohhhh that sounds like a deadly idea!!!! I think I might just do that ...although I have to be honest I don't like sending messages to guys first...I dont want that to sound really bad ...but its kinda true .... I am just going to apply for the next series of Take Me Out ..its the only solution :P

Mental Mickey · 20-01-2012 10:45pm

JennyBurke101 wrote: »

Ooooohhhh that sounds like a deadly idea!!!! I think I might just do that ...although I have to be honest I don't like sending messages to guys first...I dont want that to sound really bad ...but its kinda true .... I am just going to apply for the next series of Take Me Out ..its the only solution :P

UGH dont do that.

Larianne · 20-01-2012 10:46pm

JennyBurke101 wrote: »

Ooooohhhh that sounds like a deadly idea!!!! I think I might just do that ...although I have to be honest I don't like sending messages to guys first...I dont want that to sound really bad ...but its kinda true .... I am just going to apply for the next series of Take Me Out ..its the only solution :P

Why not? I think that's a much better option than Take Me Out. :eek:

Mental Mickey · 20-01-2012 10:50pm

Larianne wrote: »

Why not? I think that's a much better option than Take Me Out. :eek:

i meant DONT apply to take me out.

KateMiddleton · 20-01-2012 11:56pm

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

Hence the patience and persistence. Plenty of people on this thread have had .. dry spells ... only to suddenly strike it lucky with someone who feels lucky too. Try not to let it affect your confidence - it's not as if the other men are inundated with replies and offers! What you're experiencing is the norm. I think you should definitely check out the free sites. You've nothing to lose, and a couple of the fellas here got talking to overseas girls on ok cupid I think in particular.

Good luck!

I agree give it a chance plentyoffish is rubbish although I did meet a guy there who was pretty cool and we dated for a couple of months in the summer. He was literally the only remotely sane person who contacted me although I only have one fairly fuzzy pic up so I didn't get that many contacts. I'm now living abroad and used a foreign dating site which was great much fewer nutters and went on the most incredible date last weekend which i defo hope a relationship will come out of. So I guess i've been pretty lucky in that i've only ever had two internet dates and they've both been great. I think put lots of info up on your profile and not too many pics. Maybe put up a pic of yourself doing something fun rather than just your face I prefer pics of people doing sports or looking like they are having craic rather than just posing. Also i say on my profile i'm looking for something serious I think it puts off players. Well mostly I do get a few mails about guys in open relationships

missbelle · 21-01-2012 12:01am

KateMiddleton wrote: »

I agree give it a chance plentyoffish is rubbish although I did meet a guy there who was pretty cool and we dated for a couple of months in the summer. He was literally the only remotely sane person who contacted me although I only have one fairly fuzzy pic up so I didn't get that many contacts. I'm now living abroad and used a foreign dating site which was great much fewer nutters and went on the most incredible date last weekend which i defo hope a relationship will come out of. So I guess i've been pretty lucky in that i've only ever had two internet dates and they've both been great. I think put lots of info up on your profile and not too many pics. Maybe put up a pic of yourself doing something fun rather than just your face I prefer pics of people doing sports or looking like they are having craic rather than just posing. Also i say on my profile i'm looking for something serious I think it puts off players. Well mostly I do get a few mails about guys in open relationships

What does Wills think of this?? :pac:

Ah no, seriously though, good that you've had positive internet dates!

KTRIC · 21-01-2012 1:19am

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Got a reply to a message I sent to someone.

Said that I wasnt their type but wished me luck

I had the same the other day. I'm starting to think there aren't any my type on either site.

I've been turned down based on my music tastes a couple of times now. I'm not prepared to start changing who I am though just for a date.

Larianne · 21-01-2012 1:41am

KTRIC wrote: »

I had the same the other day. I'm starting to think there aren't any my type on either site.

I've been turned down based on my music tastes a couple of times now. I'm not prepared to start changing who I am though just for a date.

Maybe you need to add more info to your profile, so they see your taste in music isn't the only thing about you?

MariaxD · 21-01-2012 2:00am

KTRIC wrote: »

I had the same the other day. I'm starting to think there aren't any my type on either site.

I've been turned down based on my music tastes a couple of times now. I'm not prepared to start changing who I am though just for a date.

I said doesn't bother thats what I like fudge them!!:) my best friends nd I completely like different music,different guys even different movies yet we manage to gel so well:D lol a difference of music taste doesnt change u it makes u who u r:D glad to say ive not had that prob yet:/ xD

LegacyUser · 21-01-2012 2:09am

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

Hence the patience and persistence. Plenty of people on this thread have had .. dry spells ... only to suddenly strike it lucky with someone who feels lucky too. Try not to let it affect your confidence - it's not as if the other men are inundated with replies and offers! What you're experiencing is the norm. I think you should definitely check out the free sites. You've nothing to lose, and a couple of the fellas here got talking to overseas girls on ok cupid I think in particular.

Good luck!

Okay, patience and persistence it is

I've actually joined OKC & POF this afternoon because like you say I've got nothing to lose. I really liked OKC and I instantly had several people checking out my profile which is a good start (small steps and all that) but on the opposite scale of things I really didn't like POF at all. In my opinion the layout is tacky and cheap and it just feels like what Coppers would be if it was an online dating site. Plus it wouldn't let me upload my photos either for some reason.

So it looks like match.com & OKC are the way to go for now. Thanks again for your helpful advice, it was very much appreciated.

KateMiddleton · 21-01-2012 11:10am

mood wrote: »

Otis do you like your beard? Have you it now? I'm female a hate a beard. I think most women prefer a beardless guy.

Ah but not everyone I absolutely LOVE beards. One of the few things I miss about my ex actually. Am always disappointed when guys don't have beards or glasses.

mood · 21-01-2012 11:33am

MrNiceGuyEddie wrote: »

I'm a 34 year old male that has been single for nearly 4 years. I'm sick to death of the pub scene and most of my mates are in relationships so I decided to bite the bullet and do something about my situation.

I recently joined match.com as it was recommended to me by a co-worker. They said that the paying sites had a much better success rate as the clientèle were serious about wanting to meet someone and are not just looking for an ego boost or a cheap thrill that is allegedly quite common on free sites.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I've been a member for 3 weeks now and have 120 profile views, 10 winks and 0 messages. My plan was to sign up for free to feel it out then pay the monthly subscription after a month but I'm not so sure now. I've put up a load of pictures and wrote a positive yet honest description of myself but nobody seems bothered to message me.

It is a case where guys do all the chasing like it is 'in real life' or what? I'm just abit concerned and don't want to sign up for this if it's going to be a complete waste of time. Plus some of the profiles on it are very off putting and have a list of demands that need to be met ie: must be over 6 foot tall (this from a girl who was 5'2), will ignore message with no photos, must make x amount of money, etc, etc.

Lastly, is match.com actually any good or are there better dating sites out there?

Yes internet dating is like real life (guys make the first move etc). I don't know why you would think it would be different! Ignoring people with no photo is fair enough I think. If someone can see me it only fair I can see them (and avoid married men etc). Also, you said some women 'winked' at you... that sounds like them making the first move so what are you complaining about?

Larianne · 21-01-2012 11:47am

I really don't understand this fear of not making the first move? (guys and girls)

If anything it should be easier as its online!

I think this 'winking' stuff is a load of crap. Message the person if you want to contact them.

Maybe I'm just too straightforward?

KTRIC · 21-01-2012 12:15pm

Larianne wrote: »

Maybe you need to add more info to your profile, so they see your taste in music isn't the only thing about you?

Give me some credit, of course it has. :rolleyes:

Larianne · 21-01-2012 12:19pm

KTRIC wrote: »

Give me some credit, of course it has. :rolleyes:

I just don't understand then why someone would dismiss a person because of their taste in music?

KTRIC · 21-01-2012 12:26pm

Larianne wrote: »

I just don't understand then why someone would dismiss a person because of their taste in music?

Neither would then I did a search on OKC and found quite a few women who made a point of saying they don't like / hate a certain type of music.

Otis Driftwood · 21-01-2012 12:38pm

KTRIC wrote: »

Larianne wrote: »

I just don't understand then why someone would dismiss a person because of their taste in music?

Neither would then I did a search on OKC and found quite a few women who made a point of saying they don't like / hate a certain type of music.

You must be a metaller,I feel your pain brother!

KTRIC · 21-01-2012 12:46pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

You must be a metaller,I feel your pain brother!

Yup, how'd ya guess

c - 13 · 21-01-2012 12:48pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

You must be a metaller,I feel your pain brother!

Add another to that club.

Although if I read a profile and it goes something along the lines of "I like al sorts of music but hate metal" I admit I'm not likely to message that person as the chances of them not replying is higher.

Odd justification I know.

Panthro · 21-01-2012 12:49pm

Aww don't talk to me, I can't get over how few wimminz listen to Indian folk metal music...:(:pac:
Yer wan never replied to my message, ara feck it anyways.

Larianne · 21-01-2012 12:58pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

You must be a metaller,I feel your pain brother!

Read that first as mentaller.

I guess some people would have a preconception of metallers. Then again, if gig going is a big part of a person's life, if you're not into the same music it could effect social aspects. Also, where you may want to go drinking might be different. Maybe, I dunno..?

KTRIC · 21-01-2012 1:02pm

Larianne wrote: »

Read that first as mentaller.

Well that too but I'll be damned if I'm putting it in my profile

Larianne · 21-01-2012 1:12pm

KTRIC wrote: »

Well that too but I'll be damned if I'm putting it in my profile

Ah, go on. What's the harm!

:pac:

mood · 21-01-2012 1:32pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

You must be a metaller,I feel your pain brother!

But if someone looks like a metailer I can see how that would put a lot of people off.

KTRIC · 21-01-2012 1:47pm

mood wrote: »

But if someone looks like a metailer I can see how that would put a lot of people off.

Please enlighten me, what does a metaller look like ?? :rolleyes:

Pembily · 21-01-2012 1:58pm

KTRIC wrote: »

mood wrote: »

But if someone looks like a metailer I can see how that would put a lot of people off.

Please enlighten me, what does a metaller look like ?? :rolleyes:

Seriously? Long hair, black long coat! I'm listen to metal and see some people like that at gigs! It's not everyone but some...

I_am_LOST · 21-01-2012 2:03pm

At first I didn't get why anyone would dismiss someone because of music taste but it makes a bit more sense if it's metal

I love all types of music so I do like heavy metal, rock etc.

But if someone is completely not into metal music and they see all these bands listed on someones profile, I can see why it'd be a turn off. People have preconceptions about guys/girls into metal music.

I wouldn't change what you're into just to suit dating but maybe mention some other genres of music you like too?

Otis Driftwood · 21-01-2012 2:06pm

mood wrote: »

But if someone looks like a metailer I can see how that would put a lot of people off.

Im a metaller and I have been for well over 20 years.I dont have long hair,I dont have piercings,I dont own a leather jacket,I dont have tattoos,see where Im going with this?

The point I believe that KTRIC is making is that someone that has heavy metal as one their interests is being automatically discounted by some people based solely on this fact.

Fine if the one person doesnt find the other person attractive physically but to be written off just because you happen to listen to metal (or any type of music genre for that matter) is the crux of the issue.

mood · 21-01-2012 2:12pm

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Im a metaller and I have been for well over 20 years.I dont have long hair,I dont have piercings,I dont own a leather jacket,I dont have tattoos,see where Im going with this?

The point I believe that KTRIC is making is that someone that has heavy metal as one their interests is being automatically discounted by some people based solely on this fact.

Fine if the one person doesnt find the other person attractive physically but to be written off just because you happen to listen to metal (or any type of music genre for that matter) is the crux of the issue.

I know most metal fans wouldn't have long hair, piercings and wear long leather coats. But a minority would and I think that that would put some people off them (ie there look rather than their taste in music).

Pembily · 21-01-2012 2:13pm

I agree totally Otis, I wouldn't dismiss on someone's interest, but I would on looks as I'm a shallow yoke :pac:

Pembily · 21-01-2012 2:14pm

Panthro wrote: »

Aww don't talk to me, I can't get over how few wimminz listen to Indian folk metal music...:(:pac:
Yer wan never replied to my message, ara feck it anyways.

Dude if that's the music you listen to you're doomed

:pac:

The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

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The Online Dating Thread Part II Mod Warning Read First Post/or Post 7389