Haven't touched a drop in...

GerB40 · 06-07-2014 12:04am

dar100 wrote: »

You my find that there is far less bad days. If you have support around you

Now that I think of it, I got plenty of great advice right here on boards so my previous post isn't completely true..
I suppose my point is that even though support and help from others is great, the best (and most rewarding) change is all down to you and you alone..

auldgranny · 10-07-2014 9:39am

Am disgusted with myself. 9 days I lasted and then I just drank. No reason, no cravings, no inner turmoil. Just consciously bought a bottle of vodka and drank it.

hubba · 10-07-2014 3:37pm

auldgranny wrote: »

Am disgusted with myself. 9 days I lasted and then I just drank. No reason, no cravings, no inner turmoil. Just consciously bought a bottle of vodka and drank it.

It's very important you try to turn that disgust into compassion. Imagine how you would feel towards a friend if they had a slip up then direct that empathy towards yourself. This is the only way out of it.

You CAN do this. Don't let your slip up grow a tail. You made a mistake. It's over, start again. Best wishes on your journey.

12-07-2014 3:46am

I haven't drunk any alcohol since New Year's Day this year now. My diet is woeful, like some sort of "compensatory" mechanism. I need to get on top of that, but haven't done so yet and my weight has only gone up since the initial 12kg loss in the first couple of months of the year. I probably don't feel strong enough yet to take that on too, but on it must be taken now.

It's still painful being in crowds at weddings/parties and completely sober and knowing that this is as good as it gets now. Painful is perhaps the wrong word. Acute sadness and, despite the support, isolation at being conscious that this is as good as life gets - no more escapism or romanticised bohemian associations with alcohol - is a more accurate description of how I feel. At this stage, that's a heavy thought, an ineffably heavy one.

Listening to the late Dermot Healy narrate In England to Iarla Ó Lionáird's haunting music a lot these days and it captures my mood... 'I remember anger. I remember loneliness, and sadness. I remember pure sadness. This is not any of those, some of all of them maybe, and more. What is more, though? There'll be no comfort in sleep or drink. It's like something's covering me that threatens my breath. It's like something's moving that would break things inside of me'

enoughalready · 12-07-2014 9:56am

I have been avoiding social situations for the past few months because of my sobriety and that being my number one priority. I'm 221 days sober (7 months and a bit). The last few days have required me to be exposed to places (birthday party of my best friend) (funeral) (dinner reunion with old friends) that make me very uncomfortable as before hand I would have used the crutch of alcohol and without my crutch I feel very exposed and vulnerable. I realise I am actually a very shy, reserved individual at first until you get to know me and then I'm the complete opposite, basically my identity is all over the place, at times I don't even know who I am, am I the mad party animal or the quiet good boy in the corner? Still, I'm determined to win this war and keep myself sober as I am a better man without the demon drink, I achieve more and I am calmer and dependable!

In saying all of that I am hopeful, which I never really had when I was drinking. Hope. Such a simple word but gives me so much comfort!

Bill Lee · 12-07-2014 12:11pm

enoughalready wrote: »

at times I don't even know who I am, am I the mad party animal or the quiet good boy in the corner? !

Ironically, I remember a poster ad for a whiskey company a few years ago that had the tag line "True character reveals itself over time" or something along those lines.

It's very true for people who stop drinking, imo!

As an aside, I thought it was such a horrible, cynical ad ploy....drink our whiskey and you'll become a wiser, deeper and more interesting person. As opposed to what most people become - a moronic loudmouth who doesn't know when to stop and wakes up the next day wishing they were dead.
(Anyone remember whiskey hangovers? A whole new level of pain and self-loathing)

quinrea01 · 12-07-2014 9:43pm

Bill Lee wrote: »

Ironically, I remember a poster ad for a whiskey company a few years ago that had the tag line "True character reveals itself over time" or something along those lines.

It's very true for people who stop drinking, imo!

As an aside, I thought it was such a horrible, cynical ad ploy....drink our whiskey and you'll become a wiser, deeper and more interesting person. As opposed to what most people become - a moronic loudmouth who doesn't know when to stop and wakes up the next day wishing they were dead.
(Anyone remember whiskey hangovers? A whole new level of pain and self-loathing)

Yes, a particularly odious and painful hangover as all hangovers are, but with an extra hateful element that lingered for much longer than the usual types. Whiskey, for some reason unknown to me, is the worst of the poisons.

Johnny Cage · 12-07-2014 10:46pm

quinrea01 wrote: »

Yes, a particularly odious and painful hangover as all hangovers are, but with an extra hateful element that lingered for much longer than the usual types. Whiskey, for some reason unknown to me, is the worst of the poisons.

Congeners( which are basically impurities from fermentation) are more prevalent in dark coloured drinks and it's these congeners which cause the hangovers.

enoughalready · 13-07-2014 12:46am

Just in the door from a night out for a friend's birthday. It was so hard being out with everyone else drinking and the temptation was very strong! I nearly had a slip but refrained thankfully. It just goes to show you that I have no purpose or reason to be in pubs. I am fine when I am not around alcohol, I just get on with my life and have no cravings but once I'm in a restaurant or pub I am very exposed and vulnerable. I realised today that in future, going forward, to protect my sobriety I must stay clear from these places as the urge and want is too strong. Glad I have this forum to reflect and speak honestly about my thoughts and feelings. Hope everyone else's journey is going smoothly.

marienbad · 13-07-2014 1:21am

enoughalready wrote: »

Just in the door from a night out for a friend's birthday. It was so hard being out with everyone else drinking and the temptation was very strong! I nearly had a slip but refrained thankfully. It just goes to show you that I have no purpose or reason to be in pubs. I am fine when I am not around alcohol, I just get on with my life and have no cravings but once I'm in a restaurant or pub I am very exposed and vulnerable. I realised today that in future, going forward, to protect my sobriety I must stay clear from these places as the urge and want is too strong. Glad I have this forum to reflect and speak honestly about my thoughts and feelings. Hope everyone else's journey is going smoothly.

I simply never go to pubs , I have no business there . Restaurants with family and friends absolutely no problem but the focus is on the food and the company .

On those rare occasions I do end up in the pub I now find them just so boring and I move on as soon as it is respectable.

Stick with it and soon enough your habits will change .

Amazingfun · 13-07-2014 1:56am

enoughalready wrote: »

Just in the door from a night out for a friend's birthday. It was so hard being out with everyone else drinking and the temptation was very strong! I nearly had a slip but refrained thankfully.

Just curious....are you still going to meetings?

Carpet diem · 13-07-2014 9:02am

marienbad wrote: »

I simply never go to pubs , I have no business there . Restaurants with family and friends absolutely no problem but the focus is on the food and the company .

On those rare occasions I do end up in the pub I now find them just so boring and I move on as soon as it is respectable.

Stick with it and soon enough your habits will change .

Very true that they are boring - key is to have a just care about yourself attitude and leave whenever it suits possibly without saying goodbye cause I find it just draws attention on you.

Tramps Like Us · 13-07-2014 2:25pm

Haven't drank a drop since January and besides that slip up nothing since october.

Have moved to a new town for a new job and I don't know anyone here at all so my social life is very poor. (non existent. I really like the job though, its just the weekends that are a bit rough) Previously I'd hang out with my friends and head out with them, but I have no friends here. Going to a pub or club alone and being sober is not really an option for me, it would be a bit too awkward, its fine when I'm with people I know. I know if I went to a pub tonight for the match and drank I'd get talking to people and end up in a club and maybe make some new friends. It's made worse by the fact that the town I'm living in now has a great night life and is popular with stags etc so the place is always buzzing. Its very tempting today tbh and I'm trying to rationalise going on the lash. But I'm not gonna do it - I'll order a takeaway or something and watch the match at home.

Does anyone have any suggestions about how to make new friends - I had hoped that I would make new friends in work, and while I have they commute long distances so meeting up at the weekend isnt really an option considering I don't have a car. I've never had to consciously look for new friends before, I just naturally made some, in school, college etc. I'm struggling a bit tbh. Sadly a sports club is not an option for me presently because I'm recovering from surgery and an injury.

My life has improved in so many ways since I stopped drinking but I'm not handling loneliness very well

enoughalready · 13-07-2014 5:08pm

How about joining an AA meeting, like minded people in there from all walks of life, great support system / network and after a while you'll have a bunch of new mates that share your desire to stay sober and live an enriched life.

Sunnyisland · 13-07-2014 8:32pm

I am out in portugal at the moment and last week went to a local AA meeting,it's at least 4 years since I have been at one.

I found it great, loads of different nationalities but all on the same road, I had forgot how interesting and informative these meetings can be, plus I have now opened up a new social circle and it's now a permanent fixture for me each week, all good here for me.

Amazingfun · 14-07-2014 3:33pm

realies wrote: »

I am out in portugal at the moment and last week went to a local AA meeting,it's at least 4 years since I have been at one.

Welcome back

enoughalready · 14-07-2014 9:27pm

Amazingfun wrote: »

Just curious....are you still going to meetings?

I'm not Amazingfun, to be honest I haven't been to a meeting in 5 weeks. Felt like I had no need to go until this weekend which shook me up a bit! Will defo be attending the next one. As the saying goes, "if you are not working on your recovery - you're working on your relapse".

Amazingfun · 14-07-2014 11:04pm

For me, now, after these years of sobriety (close to 13) , I go to AA meetings to welcome newcomers (and old-comers who are returning

) and to try and give back some of the help and fellowship I've received. I don't "need" meetings in the way I did when I was new, now I appreciate them and I am mostly grateful I am one of the folks who has stayed alive and sober.
We see so many who don't make it

The one thing I know is true is that whatever you give in this thing will be returned to you tenfold as time marches on.
Glad you're going to get back to meetings, and even happier that you didn't have to drink or get hurt in some way to motivate you to do so.

enoughalready · 14-07-2014 11:30pm

Amazingfun wrote: »

For me, now, after these years of sobriety (close to 13) , I go to AA meetings to welcome newcomers (and old-comers who are returning ) and to try and give back some of the help and fellowship I've received. I don't "need" meetings in the way I did when I was new, now I appreciate them and I am mostly grateful I am one of the folks who has stayed alive and sober.
We see so many who don't make it

The one thing I know is true is that whatever you give in this thing will be returned to you tenfold as time marches on.
Glad you're going to get back to meetings, and even happier that you didn't have to drink or get hurt in some way to motivate you to do so.

Thanks Amazingfun ~ I'm so glad I didn't give in to temptation. I talked it through with a very good friend and explained how vulnerable I feel in pubs and around people who are drinking. I have the BIG BOOK here beside my bed and plan to read a chapter or two before bed. Really scary how close I got to falling! Very grateful that I'm still sober...I have this one AA group that I feel really comfortable in and try to go to that one over any other one, I want to gain a few friends and for them to get to know me and my story so they know how and if they want to support me, some have given me their numbers, I was thrilled but embarrassed to ring anyone. Felt I would be annoying them...must learn not to think that way....

Diablo Verde · 16-07-2014 9:09am

8 months!!

The time continues to fly by. Had a few shaky moments in the last month, where I considered starting again. I just looked at it logically and made the sensible decision. The longer it's been since I stopped, a bit of complacency has seeped in as the "bad memories" begin to fade.

On the plus side, have settled in nicely to life in Spain and am getting a good bit of teaching work. I've also started marathon training for Valencia in November

Life is great!!!

Tramps Like Us · 17-07-2014 7:56am

enoughalready wrote: »

How about joining an AA meeting, like minded people in there from all walks of life, great support system / network and after a while you'll have a bunch of new mates that share your desire to stay sober and live an enriched life.

I have but I don't think it's for me. I don't think I really was/am an alcoholic, it was a problem for sure and it was heading that direction though.

What I've done is just arrange some things for the weekend, bought concert tickets etc, key is to keep busy.

enoughalready · 17-07-2014 9:47am

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

I have but I don't think it's for me. I don't think I really was/am an alcoholic, it was a problem for sure and it was heading that direction though.

What I've done is just arrange some things for the weekend, bought concert tickets etc, key is to keep busy.

Sometimes I feel like that too. I think its the label and stigma that frightens me. I remember saying it aloud that I was an alcoholic the first time in a meeting and it didn't sit right with me but as the months went on I started to accept I am an alcoholic. I may not be a stereotypical, media portrayed alcoholic but I have a disease called alcoholism and it means if I drink alcohol my life becomes unmanageable and I self destruct. I simply cannot touch a drop! My sobriety was tested last weekend and that was because I hadn't been going to meetings or reading my books to help me. I thought I could do it alone but alas I need the social support and even when I don't think I need it, its just great to sit and listen and meet new like minded and diverse people who are kind with their advice and time. Best of luck anyway 'Tramps Like Us'

GerB40 · 25-07-2014 5:18pm

When I first posted on this thread I was 33 days off the drink and cautiously optimistic about about the coming weeks. Yesterday marked my 12th week sober and it's been 99% fantastic. Exercise, it would seem, really is the key to get through those shítty days you're bound to have.

But (and this is a big but), week 10 brought about a horrible change that I can't explain. I felt worse than I've felt since the day I decided to stop drinking.
I went through "the horrors" for 8 days straight, the shakes, the sweats (I'm sure most people here know what the horrors entail so I won't go into detail).

My question is, what the fùck was that about? I kept with my healthy diet, exercised like I had been and felt better than I had in years and then this shìt. Is this normal?

You dear boardsies have helped me so much thus far and I'd greatly appreciate any feedback.

Thanks in advance☺

GerB40 · 25-07-2014 5:32pm

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

I have but I don't think it's for me. I don't think I really was/am an alcoholic, it was a problem for sure and it was heading that direction though.

What I've done is just arrange some things for the weekend, bought concert tickets etc, key is to keep busy.

Well Tramps Like us, all I can say is "baby we were born to run":-). Seriously though you seem to have a smart head on your shoulders. Keep at it and you'll be alright.
I just have to ask, are concerts not a bit tough to stay sober at? Practically every concert I've been to have basically been piss ups for the majority of the attendees so the temptation must be unreal..

Sunnyisland · 26-07-2014 8:20am

GerB40 wrote: »

When I first posted on this thread I was 33 days off the drink and cautiously optimistic about about the coming weeks. Yesterday marked my 12th week sober and it's been 99% fantastic. Exercise, it would seem, really is the key to get through those shítty days you're bound to have.

But (and this is a big but), week 10 brought about a horrible change that I can't explain. I felt worse than I've felt since the day I decided to stop drinking.
I went through "the horrors" for 8 days straight, the shakes, the sweats (I'm sure most people here know what the horrors entail so I won't go into detail).

My question is, what the fùck was that about? I kept with my healthy diet, exercised like I had been and felt better than I had in years and then this shìt. Is this normal?

You dear boardsies have helped me so much thus far and I'd greatly appreciate any feedback.

Thanks in advance☺

There are two stages of withdrawal. The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts at most a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.

The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms.

Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms.

Most people experience some post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Whereas in the acute stage of withdrawal every person is different, in post-acute withdrawal most people have the same symptoms.

You can read more here :-)

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

GerB40 · 26-07-2014 2:54pm

realies wrote: »

There are two stages of withdrawal. The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts at most a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.

The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms.

Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms.

Most people experience some post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Whereas in the acute stage of withdrawal every person is different, in post-acute withdrawal most people have the same symptoms.

You can read more here :-)

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

Thank you so much for that realies, I thought I was going mad.. I can honestly say the folks on this thread have been a massive help for me through this and for that I'm eternally grateful.

auldgranny · 26-07-2014 5:28pm

realies wrote: »

There are two stages of withdrawal. The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts at most a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.

The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms.

Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms.

Most people experience some post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Whereas in the acute stage of withdrawal every person is different, in post-acute withdrawal most people have the same symptoms.

You can read more here :-)

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

Jesus that sounds rough. I am only on day 3 (again) I always imagined the first month must be the worst and once you got over that it would be hard but doable.

Sunnyisland · 27-07-2014 8:36am

auldgranny wrote: »

Jesus that sounds rough. I am only on day 3 (again) I always imagined the first month must be the worst and once you got over that it would be hard but doable.

Yep it is rough, sure show me something that's good for you that's easy :-)

It's great your starting again as thats the most important thing

Failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times to succeed. Which means you haven’t really failed yet; you’ve just found a bunch of ways that don’t work. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss

Go forward auldgranny and learn how you fell last time.

auldgranny · 27-07-2014 8:47am

realies wrote: »

Yep it is rough, sure show me something that's good for you that's easy :-)

It's great your starting again as thats the most important thing

Failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times to succeed. Which means you haven’t really failed yet; you’ve just found a bunch of ways that don’t work. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss

Go forward auldgranny and learn how you fell last time.

I don't even know realies. There seems to be no definite trigger. Yesterday I was in great form, no notion of drinking and then got a compulsion to buy it. No craving, just a compulsion. I didn't buy but my heart was thumping till I left town. Thanks for your continued encouragement. There is a great sense of support here.

auldgranny · 27-07-2014 8:47am

realies wrote: »

Yep it is rough, sure show me something that's good for you that's easy :-)

It's great your starting again as thats the most important thing

Failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times to succeed. Which means you haven’t really failed yet; you’ve just found a bunch of ways that don’t work. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss

Go forward auldgranny and learn how you fell last time.

I don't even know realies. There seems to be no definite trigger. Yesterday I was in great form, no notion of drinking and then got a compulsion to buy it. No craving, just a compulsion. I didn't buy but my heart was thumping till I left town. Thanks for your continued encouragement. There is a great sense of support here.

Amazingfun · 27-07-2014 9:01am

Good insight in seeing there doesn't have to be any kind of reason for wanting to drink.

I find those who keep feeding "narratives" in their heads that permit drinking (good reasons, bad reasons, take your pick) struggle most with relapse. The most freeing thing for me after I got sober in 2002 was the deep and full acceptance that I drank no matter what was going on, lol, good, bad or ugly. I realized I absolutely adored alcohol and always would in a way.
Letting go of these stories that allowed drinking removed any excuse or delusional reason my alcohol-adoring head might conjure up someday and I've not had a drink since.

auldgranny · 27-07-2014 9:12am

Amazingfun wrote: »

Good insight in seeing there doesn't have to be any kind of reason for wanting to drink.

I find those who keep feeding "narratives" in their heads that permit drinking (good reasons, bad reasons, take your pick) struggle most with relapse. The most freeing thing for me after I got sober in 2002 was the deep and full acceptance that I drank no matter what was going on, lol, good, bad or ugly. I realized I absolutely adored alcohol and always would in a way.
Letting go of these stories that allowed drinking removed any excuse or delusional reason my alcohol-adoring head might conjure up someday and I've not had a drink since.

Yes, that sounds like me. I have done some really stupid things.
1. Drinking after a week to celebrate being a week sober.
2. Drinking after a month because now I had gone a month it was proof I was not an alcoholic so I could handle my drink.
3. Off the drink 3 weeks when a friend asked me to sample a home made wine. Afraid I would offend him I drank a glass (which was rotten btw) and bought 2 bottles of wine on the way home to "get rid of the bad taste" of the other stuff.
I just love to drink.

mickydoomsux · 28-07-2014 11:31am

auldgranny wrote: »

Yes, that sounds like me. I have done some really stupid things.
1. Drinking after a week to celebrate being a week sober.
2. Drinking after a month because now I had gone a month it was proof I was not an alcoholic so I could handle my drink.

These two points are what i keep falling down on.

Rewarding myself with drink for staying off drink for X amount of time is idiotic.

Drinking again because i can totally handle it because i didn't drink for X amount of time is idiotic.

28-07-2014 1:26pm

auldgranny wrote: »

I don't even know realies. There seems to be no definite trigger. Yesterday I was in great form, no notion of drinking and then got a compulsion to buy it. No craving, just a compulsion. I didn't buy but my heart was thumping till I left town. Thanks for your continued encouragement. There is a great sense of support here.

Something realies posted a few months ago has stuck with me every time I think of having a drink: play the tape forward. Now, I do. If I have that one drink, what next? I know precisely what is next.

I'll keep drinking until I can take no more, and I will have achieved nothing productive with my time. Then, I'll get up the following day and start drinking early if it's not a work day and if it's a work day my entire focus will be on drinking (until I can drink no more) when I get home. I'll lie, and lie and lie to deceive everybody who loves me, and who needs me. I'll carry on the deceit by collecting loved ones from places, conscious that I am over the limit but aware that my very driving can act as "proof" that I wasn't drinking. And so on ad infinitum. If I take that drink things will spiral out of control (a very accurate turn of phrase). And what, pray tell, is at the end of it?

Two possible outcomes. First, my self-destructive tendency brings about early death in a scene reminiscent of the main character in the film Leaving Las Vegas, but not before it has damaged the hopes, dreams and love of people who have only shown me kindness and acceptance. That sort of death would be inevitable as my drinking had become infinitely greater in the past few years, and for the first time in my life I had taken risks like drink driving which had always repulsed me. A pattern of self-destructive behaviour (and reduced productivity) had been established and accelerated and there was no doubt that I would lose everything within a few years if I didn't stop.

The second possible outcome is what I'm trying for now - a productive, healthy man who once again feels his emotions and is willing to love and care for his family because life is short and it is an honour to be loved, and the most damning dishonour to return that love with deceit and self-absorbed indifference. If I cannot have enough respect for my own life, and I still don't unfortunately, being off alcohol allows me to feel the trials, tribulations and emotions of people close to me who need me. It is so long since I have really felt that, since I have returned the quality of love and honesty to them which they have given to me. Out of that deep personal dishonour, I'm now working on myself to become strong enough to be honourable in every area of my life. The potential is enormous; nearly 8 months off the drink and I'm finally beginning to relate to another poster's memorable "I feel infinite!" self-description. I know myself well enough to know that there is no such thing as "I'll have one drink". It has never worked like that for me. And if I remain honest about that each time I "play the scene out", I will live a much more honourable life and positively affect the lives of people who need my love and care. That's about as basic as my thinking is now.

mickydoomsux · 28-07-2014 1:31pm

Yeah, the concept of "just one drink" or "having a few" simply doesn't exist for some people, myself included.

It's one of the vital things to realise early on if you are serious about quitting.

28-07-2014 1:49pm

RingTheAlarm! wrote: »

This was me this time last year. Honestly, don't even think that far right ahead right now and instead just look forward to the break.
For me like yourself it was going to countries I've only dreamed of and seeing friends who I actually had great times drinking with. If your friends are really your friends, they'll encourage you more than anything. All of my friends were impressed by me more than anything. I drink an awful lot of caffeine (coffee, Coca-Cola, etc) and in hot weather this won't do you any favours either. I personally think orange juice is a great substitute, especially during the summer. When you're in those places just remind yourself when you're getting up in the morning that you can actually take it all in rather than being passed out in your bed or struggling to get up to see sights and dreading the thought of being stuck in the blistering heat all day long. Also, use the money that you'd spend on drink to save up for something else as a reward

Back from the holidays and you were spot on, although passing 500ml bottles of Nastro Azzuro for €1.39 in a supermarket almost put me in a fever. It helped in softening my cough that beer was ridiculously expensive (and the servings much smaller) in restaurants, so I ended up paying for a lot of sparking water at every meal instead. I survived on ridiculous amounts of sparking water and lemon and Coke Zero, and developed a newfound love/distraction for all sorts of ice creams.

When I get on top of my weight problem I'll feel more confident that my drink problem is in the past, if that makes sense. At the moment there's far too much substitution going on, and I'm currently some 35kg overweight. However, I do feel stronger now that I've survived several weddings and a long holiday in the sun without succumbing to drinking alcohol so that's definitely a first in my book.

beano345 · 28-07-2014 2:42pm

2 months now had a relapse and had 6 pints one night,to say I felt sick as a dog the next day would be an understatement it really is poison.had a good stretch of 10 months before that.I think most problem drinkers suffer with the illusion that next time it will be different or they will be able to control it but it always leads down the same road to....misery!its an illusion that will drive many to the gates of death.

I found this excerpt a while ago and it summed up my drinking:

The next planet was inhabited by a tippler. This was a very short visit, but it plunged the little prince into deep dejection.

"What are you doing there?" he said to the tippler, whom he found settled down in silence before a collection of empty bottles and also a collection of full bottles.

"I am drinking," replied the tippler, with a lugubrious air.

"Why are you drinking?" demanded the little prince.

"So that I may forget," replied the tippler.

"Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him.

"Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head.

"Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.

"Ashamed of drinking!" The tipler brought his speech to an end, and shut himself up in an impregnable silence.

And the little prince went away, puzzled.

enoughalready · 29-07-2014 12:18am

“I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years.”
― Heather King, Parched

auldgranny · 30-07-2014 11:50pm

7days. One week. Kinda pleased for 2 reasons. First reason it is a week.
Second reason.... Always when I give up drink it is kinda negative......I can't drink today...... I better not drink today....I hope I don't drink today. I need to not think about drink.
This week I concentrated on positives.
1. My skin looks better.
2. I lost 4 lbs.
3. I am working on more energy.
4. I am working on a new me, slimmer, fitter, sharper.
5. I AM IN CONTROL. !!!!

Sunnyisland · 04-08-2014 9:50am

How we all doing ? I know it's a very quite time of year but it's also a very testing time for a lot of us folks here.

Keep posting, no matter what, it's good to get it out of ya...

auldgranny · 04-08-2014 9:53am

realies wrote: »

How we all doing ? I know it's a very quite time of year but it's also a very testing time for a lot of us folks here.

Keep posting, no matter what, it's good to get it out of ya...

Bad day yesterday. After ten days I drank. No reason once again, I just did it. Two bottles of wine. I am so disappointed with myself.

mickydoomsux · 04-08-2014 10:20am

realies wrote: »

How we all doing ? I know it's a very quite time of year but it's also a very testing time for a lot of us folks here.

Keep posting, no matter what, it's good to get it out of ya...

I have to say, I was very tempted to have a few on a number of occasions this weekend. Literally everyone I know was out drinking at some point.

This country is so hard to live in sometimes. Every single occasion involves drink, especially down the country where I live. I sometimes feel like jacking in the whole sobriety thing because it seems that there's more of a stigma attached to that than there is to being a roaring drunk.

I barely see anyone any more because there's no where to meet other than the local. Supposed to be going to the cinema with a friend today but it will all depend on how hung over he is because he was at a shindig that I was invited to and didn't go to last night.

FTA69 · 04-08-2014 11:08am

Friday - finished work and went training as usual. Went home afterward and watched The Shield.

Saturday - woke up early, cooked myself a nutritious breakfast. Went to town for a demonstration. Had lunch with friends afterward. Cooked myself a nice dinner and went to the cinema.

Sunday - woke up early again; did a 10k Run for charity. Had lunch with friends again. Watched the GAA all day while drinking Diet Coke and having the craic. Had some Nandos after the football. Went home and read an interesting and informative book and went to sleep at 11pm.

Monday - feel great, getting things done in work. Will go training tonight and do 5/6 rounds continuous sparring. Total spend - £60

This is in marked contrast to my usual weekend of:

Saturday - Wake up early and go to work. Finish work at 2pm. Meet friends after work and get on the beer at around 4pm. Lash into pints solid all day, usually go for food where I'll neck another 4 bottles of beer. Often end up in a lock in or stumbling around Angel or Camden until 3am. Stuff myself full of sh*t again at some stage. Collapse in bed with little or no recollection of going home.

Sunday - Sometimes wake up next to some woman I don't even like, often still drunk/dying. Get sick in the jacks. Eat a completely rubbish "breakfast" around 1pm. Feel jittery, miserable and anxious. Head to the pub again at 3/4 pm for a "cure" and to watch the GAA. Drink 8 pints of Guinness and eat a roast dinner in the pub. Go home around 9pm. Feel reasonably sober but horribly depressed. Eat a snack box. Drink another 2 cans in bed.

Monday - Wake up f*cked. Feel like a cloud of doom is hanging over my head. Go to work in a fug and do the bare minimum. Go training in the evening; gas badly in the ring and get punched in the face by an Albanian. Get shouted at for being in a state by angry Turkish coach. Die in a pile of sweat.

Total spend - £170

I definitely know which one I prefer now. The thing is, the occasional stomp around town on the beer is a great thing in moderation but I'm fast coming to the conclusion that I don't want it to be a weekly thing eating into my sanity and finances.

enoughalready · 04-08-2014 11:43am

This weekend I am 8 months sober. Was out in a pub environment as it was a special occasion and it was the last place in the world I wanted to be. I did however realise it meant more to my friend to be there for her than my own issues so I made an exception to the rule and went along, I drove and also left early so I was fine. I had a strong mental frame of mind that day so wasn't tested as much as I was a few weeks ago.

I was asked why I wasn't drinking and instead of saying it was because I had the car or that I was working the next day (both of which were true) I just said that I've given it up as it has been holding me back the last ten years and since I've thrown in the towel nearly every aspect of my life has improved. This is down to (a) not drinking alcohol and (b) me making a conscious decision to push and improve myself. Work out a lot of my issues and get help from any source I can. I find being open and honest with people about whats going on is better in the long run. How great it is to be free from the lies and excuses, to be truthful and say well life is unmanageable when I drink so I just don't. You'd be surprised about the reaction and the people you'd least expect are usually sound and accepting of that choice.

Still struggling with AA though, I haven't been in 2 months. I need to work out why I feel frightened about that aspect and work on it, as I know deep down it helps to be part of a group that knows EXACTLY what I'm going through.

This road is not without its challenges and struggles but once you push past a few obstacles it starts to get much easier or you become better equip to deal with whatever life has to throw at you. Best of luck to everyone and enjoy the bank holiday (",)

GerB40 · 04-08-2014 12:23pm

realies wrote: »

How we all doing ? I know it's a very quite time of year but it's also a very testing time for a lot of us folks here.

Keep posting, no matter what, it's good to get it out of ya...

There's been good days and tougher days but next Saturday marks 100 days sober so I'm feeling positive about that. I feel like I'm a good way from where I want to be but definitely heading in the right direction. Enjoy the bank holiday folks...

thebaz · 04-08-2014 12:29pm

just a word from my experience - I have tried stopping many many times - habitual relapser - sober now awhile , but got to stay away from pubs in the early days , maybe once a week , or for something to eat - but i know i would relapse if i went to a pub 3 times for a session in my first week - alway did , start out on ballygowan , and eventually said sod this , and started to get hammered. Good luck , just a little advice from my experience.

Amazingfun · 04-08-2014 12:40pm

auldgranny wrote: »

Bad day yesterday. After ten days I drank. No reason once again, I just did it. Two bottles of wine. I am so disappointed with myself.

Rather than beating yourself up (which makes a handy excuse for more drinking btw , the old "committee in the head" loves to have a reason to make you feel worthless and have you think "well I am back on it it again so F*ck it, I'll just keep drinking!), why not just note (again) that you cannot do this on your own.
In AA, we'd call this experience just another day in the "long tedious process" towards final (and grudging) acceptance of the fact we simply cannot control and enjoy our drinking. And we never will.
The good times with drink are long over; the time for goodbyes is well nigh

Getting out of the ring with alcohol is the only way- the fight is over and we lost. But sometimes in this crazy life, you have to "lose" to win, lol, as strange as that sounds.

Bottom line: there are loads and loads and loads of AA meetings on today all over this country. Anyone with a desire to stop drinking is most welcome.

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting

*******

As for what I did myself this weekend, I relaxed and hung out with various friends, mainly sober ones. We had way too much coffee and treats at various lovely locales, cycled all over the city, went out to dinner, went for walks and laughed our arses off after getting caught in a mad downpour Saturday night.

I am about as grateful as one can be for being sober at the moment despite my personal situation not being perfect (a few challenges in the health department, etc) but whose life is perfect anyways? All I know is I wouldn't trade my sobriety for anything.

Great to hear so many are doing well with it, and again to those struggling: today is a new day and a chance to choose a different road. Good luck.

TheBrig · 04-08-2014 7:55pm

Hi all

Im nearly 5 years sober however had a slip there 2 weeks ago which I'm disgusted at. I know it was triggered by a row with my parents but still...no excuse. I also reckon its down to the fact I don't go to AA meetings and try to go it alone. Like enoughalready says, I struggle with going to meetings, maybe its an acceptance thing? Anyway, I'm going to start going back to AA this week, if anyone fancies bringing me to one they go to I'd be very grateful. Anywhere city centre would be great. Keep up the good work everyone!

marienbad · 04-08-2014 8:23pm

TheBrig wrote: »

Hi all

Im nearly 5 years sober however had a slip there 2 weeks ago which I'm disgusted at. I know it was triggered by a row with my parents but still...no excuse. I also reckon its down to the fact I don't go to AA meetings and try to go it alone. Like enoughalready says, I struggle with going to meetings, maybe its an acceptance thing? Anyway, I'm going to start going back to AA this week, if anyone fancies bringing me to one they go to I'd be very grateful. Anywhere city centre would be great. Keep up the good work everyone!

I know it isn't for everyone but I don't think I would have made it without the help of my AA friends

TheBrig · 04-08-2014 8:54pm

marienbad wrote: »

I know it isn't for everyone but I don't think I would have made it without the help of my AA friends

Hi Marienbad, yes I am beginning to realise i need a support group of people who completely understand. I have been to a few before and felt great afterwards so i have no idea why I'm hesitant now! Maybe I had lulled myself into falsely believing I was fine ;-)

Haven't touched a drop in...

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