Why do some gay men talk differently?

Links234 wrote: »

like I said above, it seems to me more likely that the act was pre-coming out, that sounding like a "normal person" as you like to say was the bit that was put on. being in the closet is a seriously rough place to be, and I know myself you can be incredibly mindful of every mannerism, making sure you walk the walk and talk the talk, lest anyone find out... that to me seems like where the only acting or putting on is involved.

And in addition to that, a lot of people play with their personalities after coming out. If you've kept hidden or suppressed an element of yourself, when you come out there will be a "new" element of you, one that you aren't fully accustomed to. People need time to figure out and explore who they are. Why begrudge someone that opportunity?

Two of my dearest friends in the whole world who I would do anything for are gay- they don't really speak any differently to straight men or any differently to how they would have before they came out, but I would say that for one of them his mannerisms changed a bit, just became a bit more flamboyant I suppose. Doesn't bother me that much, he probably spent long enough not able to express himself.

But, I would definitely agree that some gay men have a specific kind of "voice", and friends of my gay friends have it, and yes, it is irritating but not to the point where I let it bother me. I know some straight people whose accents have changed depending on who they socialize with (mostly Dahblin yah yah types) so it's not unique to gay people.

What does bug me are the ones who are really loud, in your face and make over-sexual comments in general conversation. I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I don't accept that kind of talk from straight people and I don't accept it from gay people.

Seaneh wrote: »

How is a fake accent part of their personality?

People adopt modes and mannerisms all the time and for as far back as society goes. It's one of the primary methods of identification within a group, culture or society and a method of declaring yourself to be part of that group to people outside it. Membership of cultural groups is a huge part of personality and even moreso a part of identity. It may be an affection but at the moment "gay culture" hasn't existed for very long, at least not modern gay culture. This is one of the big complaints with stereotyping, especially as done by the media. Virtually every minority group and even subsections of majority groups have complained about their representation in the media on the basis that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as to people's behaviour. And the same groups condemn the lack of decent role models that fall outside stereotypes.


How many camp and diva like gay men have you seen on TV in comparison to other "types" of gay men. The Wire attracted huge applause for it's portrayal of gay people, Omar is the most badass gay man ever to appear on TV and he was in no way camp or diva like, the Kima Greggs character received equal amounts of praise. Another show, the Channel 4 Queer as Folk showed a broad section of the gay community, and it equally won a huge amount of praise. Yet still, shows like that are few and far between. And this leads us onto a chicken and egg scenario, is the media creating the camp gay, is it reality, or is it a distortion of reality. I would argue it's a horrible distortion of reality. Not that camp gay people don't exist or that they're "bad gays" but that for someone trying to figure out how they fit into the world, a world that can be hostile there will be a natural leaning towards the examples of cultural identity that are most known of.

And like I said, I don't put any value on being either a camp gay man, or a "straight-acting" gay man, or anything else. It's simply that some people who come out are going to play around with their full identity for the first time and it can go many different ways. And one of the obvious ways to go is towards the "role models" as seen in the media.

But then again, I don't know how much of anyone's personality is nailed down. People discover they like new things, or find ways to change themselves all the time. I don't see why someone shouldn't be a cocktail sipping party animal one day and a studious librarian the next (or even both at the same time.) As long as the person wants to do that who gives a fcuk?

Links234 wrote: »

I know I didn't have a face full of piercings until after I came out as transgender, it's one of the many little ways I expressed myself after trying to keep my head down for so long.

Someone linked to a tattoo/piercing place's website in the Cork forum. I looked at the list of piercings they do. I couldn't tell you what two thirds of those body parts/piercings are. :eek:

I hate people that are different to me and my ma and the lads down the pub. Why can't everyone just be exactly the way I expect them to be.