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Keep abortion out of Ireland

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    #1892
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    I had an abortion just 3 days ago, on Wednesday, at 16-weeks. I am 20-years-old and have been with my on-again-off-again boyfriend for a little over 4 years. With that being said, during the month you were conceived, I slept with someone else, while I was on a break from my boyfriend.

    I completely missed my period, and while I was at work, I took a pregnancy test. I had all kinds of feelings, but I was confused. I wasn't sure if I should be excited or mad or happy or angry. Over the course of 4 months, I treated you like any mother should. I fell asleep with my hands on my stomach every night. Eating healthy, working out, all to make sure that my little bean was on the right track to being healthy. As weeks passed by, I tried to weigh out my options with what would happen, depending on who your dad was. As weeks passed by, things got a little harder. I had moved out of my parents and was living with my boyfriend. I tried to get a paternity test for you, but I couldn't afford it. Things went from bad to worse, quickly. Last Saturday, my boyfriend drug me out of my car and after we got inside started hitting us, and I decided I had had enough. I didn't want this lifestyle for you, for us. But that was just an excuse to do something that I thought I had wanted to do.

    The first day I went to the clinic I had to talk to a counselor to make sure that this was what I really wanted. But I couldn't stop crying long enough to explain to her how I really felt. On my day-two appointment, I was nervous and scared. Because I was so far along, I had to vaginally insert pills inside of me to start the process. Upon receiving the pills I went into the bathroom and held my stomach one last time and told you that I was so sorry and cried and cried... and cried. But I knew if I just shoved them inside of me I would have to go through with it, even if I changed my mind.

    The four-hour wait for the medicine to get in my system was the worst four hours of my life. I couldn't believe what I had done, I kept holding onto my stomach, wondering what was happening to you inside of me. Knowing that I was sitting there murdering my own baby, my own child, my own blood. After the four hours, the nurse called my name to start the procedure. I laid on the chair and the nurse kept pushing my hair back and telling me that everything was going to be okay. With my pants off I laid there apologizing to you over and over again. The medicine began to give me severe cramps and contractions. I was screaming and turning and twisting and I just wanted my mom or my dad to be in there holding me, helping me. I was digging my nails into the chair and started shaking and sweating really bad. I jumped out of my bed and ran down the hall to the bathroom with my IV in my arm.

    My nurse came into the bathroom and I was screaming at her, demanding that she got out and gave me some privacy. It was at that very moment that I knew I didn't want to finish the procedure. I wanted you, I wanted to take away all of the pain you were feeling. While in the bathroom as I was pushing to pee, something fell out of me and water went all over my thighs and was dripping down my legs. I began screaming and three nurses came into the bathroom to drag me back to my room while explaining to me that my water had just broke.

    They held me down on the table and put an oxygen mask around my face. I was shaking so bad and by then was drenched in sweat. My head was shaking so bad, and I was kicking my legs. I saw the doctor walk into the room and she went to shake my hand and I just kept telling her, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me. The last thing I remember is one of the nurses telling me that she was going to begin my sedation.

    After what seemed a short while I woke up with no pants on, feeling embarrassed. I put my pants back on and sat down in the wheel chair. I was moved to a recovery room where I was left to think about what had just happened to us.

    I am so sorry I chose to be so selfish. And I know that I will never get you back. I didn't even give you a chance, to grow, or to become someone. I turned my back on someone that loved me. Someone that honestly needed me, for just five more months. I puked on the drive home from being so sick to my stomach from what I had just done. I think about you all the time. I wonder what you looked like, what your nose looked like, if you would have been my first boy or girl. I made the biggest mistake of my life. Something I will never choose to endure again. I hope that one day I get to meet you and explain to you why I made the selfish choice I made. I hope that you forgive me. I love you and you will always be my first child. I hope you hold part of me wherever you are and know that I wasn't thinking right and I would do anything to have you back. I wish that I could hold you and kiss you. My mom gave me the gift of life, and I took that from you, and here I am, laying in my boyfriend's bed crying about something that never was supposed to happen. I should have moved out, I should have told the nurse no when she asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this today, I should have listened to my heart and I should have been the best mom in the world for you. I just want you back.

    I want to be your Mom now, when it's too late.

    I Love You.

    I feel so empty inside.

    Age: 20
    Location: Ohio
    Date: June 9, 2012


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    #1893
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    I was 29 years old, and had just moved across country for a new job. I was scared, and alone. And I knew the minute I landed in my new city, the decision to move had been a huge mistake. But I was there, and had no money to move back home. I'd have to just make it work. As time wore on, I felt increasingly alone and depressed. Nights were spent at home, alone, usually with a bottle of wine. I was living in a two story building with windows overlooking the apartments next door. I had been there about 2 months and had noticed a very nice looking guy next door. We had spoken a couple of times in the parking lot and he seemed nice enough. One night, I decided to take the bold step of introducing myself. Encouraged by the half bottle of wine I had consumed, I grabbed an unopened bottle and headed next door. It didn't take long for us to go through with it. He was nice and warm and, needless to say, very willing to relieve me of my loneliness. Trouble was, because of my move, my prescription for my pills had run out about a month earlier, and I hadn't bothered to get a new one. But I wouldn't worry about that, it'd be OK. About 4 weeks later, I knew something wasn't right. I was out of town on a business trip and couldn't keep anything down, especially in the morning. Sure enough, I got back home, went to the doctor, and he confirmed my suspicions. Funny thing is, I remember how happy I was. I remember smiling, and thinking, "I'm going to have a baby!" The next thing the doctor said was, "We can set up an appointment for you next week; we'll take care of everything." That's when the reality set in. Of course he was right, he was "the doctor." I was unmarried, couldn't even remember the name of the "father," and there was no way I was going to try to explain this to my mother, 1400 miles away. I couldn't lay this at her feet and expect her forgiveness.

    I remember driving up to the building to keep "my appointment". Somehow, I managed to get through the whole thing. I was by myself, no one went with me. I'm strong, I knew I could do it, and then everything would be OK, back to normal. When the doctor was done, he came into the room, smiling, to announce everything went just fine... "Oh and, by the way, it was a boy". That was the moment I realize I had just aborted my son. I had just killed the little boy that was to have been my son. That was 30 years ago. I still hear the doctor's voice. I still see myself driving home, stunned by what I had just done. I still remember the irony of calling my mother later that same day just to hear her voice. And I still remember that two days after "my procedure" was Mother's Day. I am a Christian, and have been all of my life. I take full responsibility for my actions 30 years ago. No one made that decision but me. I have prayed for forgiveness, and know that it has been granted by my Heavenly Father. But, I can't find it in my heart to forgive myself. I probably never will. Know this... if you are considering abortion, the consequences of the decision you make today will be with you your entire life. You don't get a do over. Know that you are aborting a living being, a child, no matter how young the fetus is. You may be strong enough to go through the procedure, but the pain you will live with the rest of your life will drive you to your knees. You'd think after 30 years I would have dealt with it. I keep trying.

    Age: 59
    Location: Columbus, OH
    Date: May 14, 2012


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    #1894
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Are you going to spam the thread with these stories?


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    #1895
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Are you going to spam the thread with these stories?

    does it upset you?


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    #1896
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    does it upset you?

    Is that what you were trying to do?


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    #1897
    Snappy Smurf
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭Snappy Smurf


    What are you at Q? Posting one account is fine but not 5.

    I notice a media blackout on the rally for life. Only one news story on the event and one other story which alludes to it.


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    #1898
    NotForResale
    Registered Users Posts: 127 ✭✭NotForResale


    Snappy Smurf wrote: »
    What are you at Q? Posting one account is fine but not 5.

    I notice a media blackout on the rally for life. Only one news story on the event and one other story which alludes to it.


    It's probably an attempt to drown out people talking about cited studies with emotional anecdotal stories.


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    #1899
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    Snappy Smurf wrote: »
    What are you at Q? Posting one account is fine but not 5.

    I notice a media blackout on the rally for life. Only one news story on the event and one other story which alludes to it.

    The Media in Ireland has its own agenda.


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    #1900
    Snappy Smurf
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭Snappy Smurf


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Explain that a bit more, what kind of legal sanctions do you think there should be? A fine, a jail sentence?

    A jail sentence.


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    #1901
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    does it upset you?

    No you didn't upset me, its sad to read the stories because I hate to see anyone suffer but it doesn't upset me personally.

    I am sure there are as many testimonials from women who are glad they had the option to abort. I could post my non regret story up but what would be the point?? That's my story and how it relates to my life, abortion was the right thing for me but that doesn't mean its right for everyone just as you can't argue that these women can say because they made the wrong decision it should be denied to all.

    My heart goes out to those women and I hope they all got the help they needed to move on but it doesn't convince me that legal abortion is wrong.


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    #1902
    Mark200
    Registered Users Posts: 3,536 ✭✭✭Mark200


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    does it upset you?

    Well personally, the only emotion I'm getting is embarrassment on your behalf.


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    #1903
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    eviltwin wrote: »
    No you didn't upset me, its sad to read the stories because I hate to see anyone suffer but it doesn't upset me personally.

    I am sure there are as many testimonials from women who are glad they had the option to abort. I could post my non regret story up but what would be the point?? That's my story and how it relates to my life, abortion was the right thing for me but that doesn't mean its right for everyone just as you can't argue that these women can say because they made the wrong decision it should be denied to all.

    My heart goes out to those women and I hope they all got the help they needed to move on but it doesn't convince me that legal abortion is wrong.


    Well I make no apologies for defending my stance on abortion in this forum.

    It is the Christian Forum. We do believe that life is sacred. And nobody has to right to reduce it to someone else's choice.


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    #1904
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    Mark200 wrote: »
    Well personally, the only emotion I'm getting is embarrassment on your behalf.

    Not embarrassed one single bit. 4 women have thanked for for my defence of the unborn on this forum.

    Long live Ireland free from Abortion. We won't reduce our children to medical waste.


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    #1905
    NotForResale
    Registered Users Posts: 127 ✭✭NotForResale


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    Well I make no apologies for defending my stance on abortion in this forum.

    It is the Christian Forum. We do believe that life is sacred. And nobody has to right to reduce it to someone else's choice.

    You're just spamming us with the pages on this site http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1393/


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    #1906
    fatmammycat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    Not embarrassed one single bit. 4 women have thanked for for my defence of the unborn on this forum.

    Long live Ireland free from Abortion. We won't reduce our children to medical waste.

    Great, now publish all the stories of women who are not in the slightest bit sorry they had an abortions and went on to have perfectly happy lives.


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    #1907
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    fatmammycat wrote: »
    Great, now publish all the stories of women who are not in the slightest bit sorry they had an abortions and went on to have perfectly happy lives.

    Open a New thread somewhere else and promote your view.. Its obviously not going to be promoted in THIS forum.


    http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1395/


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    #1908
    fatmammycat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    Open a New thread somewhere else and promote your view.. Its obviously not going to be promoted in THIS forum.


    http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1395/
    I don't need to 'promote' anything. The reality is that for some women abortion is regrettable, but for many others it was the best decision they every made in their lives, a point you like to gloss over in your anti-choice narrow mind set.


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    #1909
    NotForResale
    Registered Users Posts: 127 ✭✭NotForResale


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    Open a New thread somewhere else and promote your view.. Its obviously not going to be promoted in THIS forum.



    Sure is Extremist christian on this forum.


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    #1910
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    fatmammycat wrote: »
    I don't need to 'promote' anything. The reality is that for some women abortion is regrettable, but for many others it was the best decision they every made in their lives, a point you like to gloss over in your anti-choice narrow mind set.

    How "many" others? How do you quantify many? If I show states they get ridiculed as biased.


    http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1424/


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    #1911
    fatmammycat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    How "many" others? How do you quantify many? If I show states they get ridiculed as biased.


    http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1424/

    The reason I used the word many is because I have not counted them. Don't try to be pedantic. I know at least three women personally that have had abortions, and do not regret them, I suspect there are 'many' more that feel the same.


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    #1912
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    There was a thread on abortion on another forum here a few months back where many women did post about their lack of regret. It wasn't talking about it from a moral point of view so maybe that's why they felt they could be more open about it.

    I doubt you will get any women putting those stories here though. Imagine the comments! I have no regrets about my abortion but I'm not going to put an emotive account of the story up as its not relevant. My decision was right for me and me alone. I have no desire to try and influence anyone else either way.


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    #1913
    NotForResale
    Registered Users Posts: 127 ✭✭NotForResale


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    How "many" others? How do you quantify many? If I show states they get ridiculed as biased.



    The same study is being cited by the pro choice side as i pointed out right before you decided to drop your emotional spam bomb.
    "87% of women with crisis pregnancies who opted for abortion retrospectively assessed this as the 'right outcome'."

    And if NIAMH NÍ BHRIAIN happens to be right that 44% regret it thats less than half.


    And the study itself http://www.crisispregnancy.ie/pub/ICCP%202.pdf is just a dead link?


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    #1914
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    fatmammycat wrote: »
    The reason I used the word many is because I have not counted them. Don't try to be pedantic. I know at least three women personally that have had abortions, and do not regret them, I suspect there are 'many' more that feel the same.


    Ok so "some" women have no regrets. Well I know some women personally who deeply regret having had an abortion. In their words the worse decision they ever made.


    The reality is we don't know who many have no effects or regrets and how many do.

    As I said some post back there clinic I know treats 1-2 people a day for PASS. But that is just one centre.

    http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1317/


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    #1915
    fatmammycat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    eviltwin wrote: »
    There was a thread on abortion on another forum here a few months back where many women did post about their lack of regret. It wasn't talking about it from a moral point of view so maybe that's why they felt they could be more open about it.

    I doubt you will get any women putting those stories here though. Imagine the comments! I have no regrets about my abortion but I'm not going to put an emotive account of the story up as its not relevant. My decision was right for me and me alone. I have no desire to try and influence anyone else either way.

    I know, I was a member of a feminist website for a spell and abortion was discussed calmly there a number of times; women were comfortable talking about it with other women and regret was not something that affected the majority, though I accept that for some women it is an event tinged thus so. Regardless if some women regret it or not, the option should be available for those who seek to terminate unwanted pregnancy. People regret decisions all the times, doesn't mean you get to disallow the choice for others on this basis.


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    #1916
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    NotForResale wrote: »
    The same study is being cited by the pro choice side as i pointed out right before you decided to drop your emotional spam bomb.
    "87% of women with crisis pregnancies who opted for abortion retrospectively assessed this as the 'right outcome'."




    And the study itself http://www.crisispregnancy.ie/pub/ICCP%202.pdf is just a dead link?

    Not in Ireland.


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    #1917
    fatmammycat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    Ok so "some" women have no regrets. Well I know some women personally who deeply regret having had an abortion. In their words the worse decision they ever made.


    The reality is we don't know who many have no effects or regrets and how many do.

    As I said some post back there clinic I know treats 1-2 people a day for PASS. But that is just one centre.

    http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1317/

    So because some women regret abortion NO woman should be allowed abort, is that what you are saying?


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    #1918
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    fatmammycat wrote: »
    I know, I was a member of a feminist website for a spell and abortion was discussed calmly there a number of times; women were comfortable talking about it with other women and regret was not something that affected the majority, though I accept that for some women it is an event tinged thus so. Regardless if some women regret it or not, the option should be available for those who seek to terminate unwanted pregnancy. People regret decisions all the times, doesn't mean you get to disallow the choice for others on this basis.

    Choices.. I am fine with choices but only up to the point those choices don't kill others.

    http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1307/


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    #1919
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    Not in Ireland.

    If that is true - and its a big IF - that will probably have more to do with the guilt factor and the stigma that exists here than the abortion itself.


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    #1920
    fatmammycat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭fatmammycat


    qrrgprgua wrote: »
    Choices.. I am fine with choices but only up to the point those choices don't kill others.

    http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1307/
    So because some women regret abortion NO woman should be allowed abort, is that what you are saying?


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    #1921
    qrrgprgua
    Registered Users Posts: 786 ✭✭✭qrrgprgua


    fatmammycat wrote: »
    So because some women regret abortion NO woman should be allowed abort, is that what you are saying?

    I am saying the objective value of the person from conception should be respected. There should be no option to kill a child.

    http://www.abort73.com/testimony/1429/


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