The Breast Feeding Support Thread

LilMrsDahamsta · 15-04-2012 10:44pm

annamcmahon wrote: »

LilMissDahamsta, I became pregnant when my daughter was 6months and from around the 9 month mark started a don't offer don't refuse policy for feeding during the day. We were down to a feed first time and a feed at bedtime for a few months and now back up to 3-4 since early Feb. I'm due this week. Don't know if there are specific medical reasons that you are worried but in general there seems to be little risk.

Best of luck this week! TBH that sounds ideal to me in terms of bf and pregnancies; its exactly what I wanted. Unfortunately I just don't seem to be able to stay pregnant feeding as frequently as I am now, so I have to do something. I won't be eligible for mat leave unless it starts before the end of 2012, so I have to try to move things along. Not the greatest for baby no.1 I know, but I don't have much of a choice. I do hope not to have to wean him completely though, so its great to hear from people who have managed bf and pregnancy together. Thanks!

ck83 · 17-04-2012 12:31pm

Hi everyone.
Just wondering if anyone might have any pearls of wisdom. My baby is 5 and a half months... exclusively b/fed until now, and I intended to continue this until he was 7 mth and then start a slow wean, as I'll be going back to work when he's 9 mths. When I say exclusively, I just refer to liquid... I started him on solids at the weekend. Up to now, he's been very good to take a bottle of expressed milk, for anyone who would give it to him (myself included). I've done a course where i've been away from him for a full day each week (9-6), and there were never any issues with feeding.
I was due to start another course today.....
On sunday, after he ate, I offered him some water in a bottle... refused point blank... i put it down to the fact that he wasn't hungry after his meal. didn't push too much, tried a few times. no luck.. tried a juice cup. no luck.
yesterday i tried to feed him milk from a bottle (tried both formula and b/milk) no joy. he screamed and screamed. he went from 5 pm til 10 pm without feeding (to be fair, he was perfectly happy for a lot of that time, but from 9-10 was a bit hairy!!). eventually i gave in and fed him, as everyone was just wrecked.
I (obviously) didn't leave him this morning, as it wouldn't be fair to leave him with anyone when he's like that. Fed him at 2am, and 6am and 9 am as usual. i've tried him with a bottle of expressed milk again this morning, with no luck. thought if i tried it when he wasn't hungry, and in good form, he might be a bit more amenable. no.
I'm just wondering if anyone might have any advice. I'm using tommee tippee closer to nature bottles. i'm going to give a scout around later and pick up a couple of different types of bottles to see will they make a difference. unfortunately, the town i live in isn't that big, and i don't know how much variety there will be, but i'll drive somewhere bigger and stock up if i need to.
I know at some stage i'm going to have to toughen up, and absolutely refuse to give him the boob, for a day. how long would it be safe to leave him? i know he wont starve, given that he's on solids, but i don't want him getting constipated/dehydrated. i also don't want to confuse him. i'm not looking to fully wean him now. seems a bit unfair to push and push for him to take a bottle, and then when he gets the hang of it, to start b/feeding him again as it suits me...

How Strange · 17-04-2012 2:36pm

ck83, I think at 5.5 months he still needs his breastfeeds if they're the main source of food for him. You say you started solids recently but at that age solids should not replace breastfeeds. They're given so he can experiment with taste and texture.

I also wouldn't recommend withholding breastfeeds at this stage in the hope that he'll just give in and take a bottle. Also he's very young so don't expect him to start drinking from a sippy cup straightaway. He has to learn how to use it.

Keep trying the sippy cup but in the meantime if he won't take a bootle then feed him as usual. If you have to go away during the day for a course etc leave some expressed milk. He mightn't take it but as long as you let him breastfeed as much as he wants when you come home he'll be fine.

My son started crèche at 7.5 months and by 8 months he wasn't taking milk by sippy cup in crèche as he didn't want it. I read that around 7 months 3-4 breastfeeds a day are enough to meet nutritional requirements.

ck83 · 17-04-2012 3:00pm

How Strange wrote: »

ck83, I think at 5.5 months he still needs his breastfeeds if they're the main source of food for him. You say you started solids recently but at that age solids should not replace breastfeeds. They're given so he can experiment with taste and texture.

I also wouldn't recommend withholding breastfeeds at this stage in the hope that he'll just give in and take a bottle. Also he's very young so don't expect him to start drinking from a sippy cup straightaway. He has to learn how to use it.

Keep trying the sippy cup but in the meantime if he won't take a bootle then feed him as usual. If you have to go away during the day for a course etc leave some expressed milk. He mightn't take it but as long as you let him breastfeed as much as he wants when you come home he'll be fine.

My son started crèche at 7.5 months and by 8 months he wasn't taking milk by sippy cup in crèche as he didn't want it. I read that around 7 months 3-4 breastfeeds a day are enough to meet nutritional requirements.

Thanks for that... I don't really expect him to use the cup, but i've been giving it to him to hold and put to his mouth etc, just so he gets used to seeing it. I don't think he'd have enough fluid intake from just a sippy cup even if he did take it... and i'm not planning on bfeeding for much longer anyhow, so I kind of need to reintroduce a bottle somehow. I don't expect solid foods to replace his breastfeeds, I'm just aware that if he has some during the day, mixed with b/milk, then at least he's having some oral intake to keep him going.
I'd love to think that leaving him for a day was an option, but i don't think it's right to leave him for a whole day without his main source of nutrition. i can't expect anyone else to listen to him roaring for 8 hours, and i'd take nothing in all day so it's pointless.
I'll just have to hope that a different type of bottle might be deemed suitable by him, and persevere! He was guzzling his bottles up until a few weeks ago, I think I just let him go too long without giving him one. oops!

How Strange · 17-04-2012 4:25pm

Maybe try a doidy cup. It's an open cup which is tilted by design. Amazon sell them.

dublinlady · 18-04-2012 8:57am

Interestingly I gave up dairy 5 days ago and now my little girl is a whole new happier lovelier person!! Don't know why I didn't think of it - I couldn't eat dairy until I was ten - was completely allergic!
Gonna try introduce small amts again now as may help her get used to it.
It's helped so much tho I've stopped my hunt for for gripe water!!
Delighted

wmpdd3 · 18-04-2012 12:21pm

You'd try anything. I was always a coffee and coke addict, I couldnt drink coffee while pregnant so when he was born I looked forward to having about 3 cups a day. I havent been able to stand coke since I had him.

In the search for a child that doesnt scream I decided to cut down, it seems to be working. I'm down to 1 cup of instant per day and I've bought de-caf for next week!! I miss coffee, but he seems much happier.

He is still colicky though, every night from 8 to 10, then a big burp or poo, then he's off to bed till 9am!!

Future Baby · 18-04-2012 6:06pm

Is it normal for older babies to start clamping down on your nipple and pulling their heads back stretching the hell out of your nipple, when they get near the end of their feed?

My 16week old started doing it for the past 2 weeks and it hurts the hell out of me, its like he is playing with the nipple as he then looks up at me with a big smile.

iguana · 18-04-2012 7:11pm

Is there any point to a pre-birth breastfeeding class? My husband has expressed interest in joining one that he has heard about that is aimed at couples, especially dads. I'm from a family of breastfeeders, so I know I'll have lots of support if I run into any trouble feeding but my husband isn't and really only knows what I've told him. Or do the likes of Cuidui or LLL have meetings where expectant dads are welcome?

ck83 · 18-04-2012 7:18pm

iguana wrote: »

Is there any point to a pre-birth breastfeeding class? My husband has expressed interest in joining one that he has heard about that is aimed at couples, especially dads. I'm from a family of breastfeeders, so I know I'll have lots of support if I run into any trouble feeding but my husband isn't and really only knows what I've told him. Or do the likes of Cuidui or LLL have meetings where expectant dads are welcome?

I did a pre birth breastfeeding class with a lactation consultant, and I'd highly recommend it. There were lots of expectant dads there. Even if you come from a family of breastfeeders, it might be useful to have the name and number of a lactation consultant too, sometimes it's easier to take advice from a stranger/medical professional on board- esp with raging hormones!

wmpdd3 · 18-04-2012 7:45pm

Is it normal for older babies to start clamping down on your nipple and pulling their heads back stretching the hell out of your nipple, when they get near the end of their feed?

My 16week old started doing it for the past 2 weeks and it hurts the hell out of me, its like he is playing with the nipple as he then looks up at me with a big smile.

I though it was just me!! This seems to be my guys way of telling me 'Boob empty mum, move me to the next one'!

How Strange · 18-04-2012 8:32pm

Lol ladies now the fun really starts! My son used to do the same.

iguana I think it's a good idea especially for your husband so he understands that growth spurts, cluster feeding etc are normal and don't mean the baby isn't getting enough from you. There were days with me where'd I'd definitely have given up if my husband wasn't totally supportive of breastfeeding.

I'd say LLL and Cuidiu are supportive of dads going along to meetings although I'm not sure how comfortable most men would be sitting in a room with breastfeeding women.

iguana · 18-04-2012 9:24pm

Well he has sat with breastfeeding women before, a couple of friends and one of my aunts, but only one at a time. One big benefit I was thinking about a course is that some of what I've read, here and elsewhere, gives me the impression that there are more than a few nurses, midwives and even doctors who are very quick to encourage bottles. And if I'm exhausted or otherwise incapacitated after the birth I'd like my husband to be confident in firmly expressing our desire to exclusively breastfeed. That's not really a role that anyone else can fill but I know that when you are tired and emotionally overwhelmed it could be very easy to give into any pressure you aren't 100% confident in your decision.

How Strange · 18-04-2012 9:37pm

iguana if thats what you want state very clearly on your birth plan or if you're not going to have one put it as a note on your chart that formula cannot be given without your consent.

I think a class would be good if it goes through what happens in the first few days ie a baby doesn't need to feed as such. They aren't hungry for 3-4 days when, coincidentally, a mothers milk comes in. Btw having a c-section can delay this by a couple of days. The immense benefits of colostrum. the second night screaming session and what to do (latch, latch, latch), how to latch on (although if it's not right chances are you need someone qualified to help you), skin to skin, laid back breastfeeding, the crawling up to your tummy to find your breast (I think this is recommended for the lazier/more sleepy babies!).

All in all if you learn or hear these things and lots more in a class or workshop environment you'll be more likely to remember them especially if it's a bumpy start or the hospital staff are putting you under pressure and scare mongering just a bit.

iguana · 18-04-2012 9:59pm

How Strange wrote: »

iguana if thats what you want state very clearly on your birth plan or if you're not going to have one put it as a note on your chart that formula cannot be given without your consent.

I know it was a long time ago but my mother had that in her notes and they still bottle fed me when I wasn't with her. Then when they brought me to her the next day they were trying to get her to give me a bottle, saying as I'd already had a bottle I wouldn't latch on to her. Luckily my mother was a super breast feeder and would start leaking about one minute ahead of us waking up for a feed as her body just always seemed to know when we were hungry and she had no problems with any of us. I remember her hand expressing when my youngest brother was starting solids (she'd put her milk in his rusks/cereal) and she had an extremely strong milk supply.

(But boy does the fact that my mother had it so easy make me very nervous that I won't live up to that standard.:o)

How Strange · 18-04-2012 10:07pm

A friend said something similar to me because her mum breastfed them in the 70's and her sister breastfed. She was afraid that she wouldn't be able for it etc.

Having said that you're fortunate that you have the family support network. That counts for so much. You can talk about being tired or rundown without someone suggesting you could take a break and give a bottle of formula.

My motto became one feed at a time because there were times when I wanted to quit. Luckily I never had formula in our home so there was no plan b and my son wasn't going to wait for me to pop to the supermarket!

LilMrsDahamsta · 18-04-2012 10:58pm

Future Baby wrote: »

Is it normal for older babies to start clamping down on your nipple and pulling their heads back stretching the hell out of your nipple, when they get near the end of their feed?

My 16week old started doing it for the past 2 weeks and it hurts the hell out of me, its like he is playing with the nipple as he then looks up at me with a big smile.

I could have written this post a few months ago! My lad did exactly the same thing round about the age when his teeth first started acting up. It did seem to be a kind of signal for booby two at times, which I acted upon. More of the time, he was just playing, but it hurt so much I had to do something about it. I basically told him no, in a clear, decisive tone. If he did it again, I put him down for a minute (literally 60 secs) and then started feeding again. If he did it again, I did the same thing, warning followed by putting down. He got the idea fairly quickly and only does it the odd time now if he wants the other boob and I've fallen asleep/ haven't noticed. And certainly he never clamps down in that really painful way any more; once he got teeth I switch to saying no and putting down immediately as he nipped me a few times. I think this might work better, maybe because the consequence is always the same. Might be worth trying if its not something you can live with.

lynski · 18-04-2012 11:07pm

wmpdd3 wrote: »

You'd try anything. I was always a coffee and coke addict, I couldnt drink coffee while pregnant so when he was born I looked forward to having about 3 cups a day. I havent been able to stand coke since I had him.

In the search for a child that doesnt scream I decided to cut down, it seems to be working. I'm down to 1 cup of instant per day and I've bought de-caf for next week!! I miss coffee, but he seems much happier.

He is still colicky though, every night from 8 to 10, then a big burp or poo, then he's off to bed till 9am!!

the coffee advice i got from a gyn was to stick with real coffee, i bought myself a little 2 cup cafetiere and keep the fresh coffee going. he thought there was less chemicals in it. it certainly tastes better.

Future Baby · 18-04-2012 11:17pm

wmpdd3 wrote: »

I though it was just me!! This seems to be my guys way of telling me 'Boob empty mum, move me to the next one'!

LilMrsDahamsta wrote: »

I could have written this post a few months ago! My lad did exactly the same thing round about the age when his teeth first started acting up. It did seem to be a kind of signal for booby two at times, which I acted upon. More of the time, he was just playing, but it hurt so much I had to do something about it. I basically told him no, in a clear, decisive tone. If he did it again, I put him down for a minute (literally 60 secs) and then started feeding again. If he did it again, I did the same thing, warning followed by putting down.

Thanks very much, I thought it could be a mixture of his gums been sore with them little teeth trying to get through and my boob been empty. I'd pull him off too, and say "NO THATS BOLD" but he just smiles up at me as if its a game, then I stop for a few seconds, so I may start offering the other boob in case he is trying to tell me its empty and give the other boob please and thanks!

caprilicious · 19-04-2012 12:02am

How Strange wrote: »

My motto became one feed at a time because there were times when I wanted to quit

I think if I remember nothing else from this thread when the time comes, then this will be the most useful tip.
As I get closer to having baby, I will admit I am anxious about the breast feeding aspect.

I'm scared I'm not going to be able to do it again this time & have that horrible raw feeling of being incompetent when it comes so naturally to other people.

I think my focusing feed to feed rather than trying to look at the long term and fretting about it is a much better way to do things

One thing is for certain, I will be a lot more vocal in the hospital this time if things aren't happening, but I also have a no. for a lactation consultant on hand and will ring her if there any issues.

What's bugging me is, several years ago I was in a car crash (brakes failed/hit a wall head on). There were no airbags and it was a metal steering wheel, so my own airbags took the impact & I was left with very sore bruised & lumpy boobs for a few weeks after.
To this day I don't know if it did long term damage that may have affected my now ability to breast feed.

I will admit, I have bought several bottles *just in case*, but I really hope these will go unused

dublinlady · 19-04-2012 8:36am

caprilicious wrote: »

How Strange wrote: »

My motto became one feed at a time because there were times when I wanted to quit

I think if I remember nothing else from this thread when the time comes, then this will be the most useful tip.
As I get closer to having baby, I will admit I am anxious about the breast feeding aspect.

I'm scared I'm not going to be able to do it again this time & have that horrible raw feeling of being incompetent when it comes so naturally to other people.

I think my focusing feed to feed rather than trying to look at the long term and fretting about it is a much better way to do things

One thing is for certain, I will be a lot more vocal in the hospital this time if things aren't happening, but I also have a no. for a lactation consultant on hand and will ring her if there any issues.

What's bugging me is, several years ago I was in a car crash (brakes failed/hit a wall head on). There were no airbags and it was a metal steering wheel, so my own airbags took the impact & I was left with very sore bruised & lumpy boobs for a few weeks after.
To this day I don't know if it did long term damage that may have affected my now ability to breast feed.

I will admit, I have bought several bottles *just in case*, but I really hope these will go unused

I know it's not recommended to have formula around when your breast feeding but I have a carton of sma that comes everywhere with me!!! It's just knowing its there gives me peace of mind that no matter what I'll be able feed my child! Finding it so much easier to feed in public now - use a scarf and clever tops so very discrete and if anyone has an issue after that well its there problem not mine!

I will admit tho...... We have moved onto giving formula at night. It's the right decision for us - she lasts 6 hrs instead of 2-3 and I ended up suffering from anxiety attacks from the tiredness . It's meant a whole new happier me

. So A is happier as I'm off the dairy and I'm happier cis I'm getting 5 hrs sleep a night!! We are like two new women!!! Giggling and smiling all day! It's much more the experience of motherhood I wanted and imagined! Glad tho to be still feeding her myself all day as I do really love doing it, I love the bond and exclusivity of our relationship.. Had only planned on feeding her for 8-12 weeks but can see my self continuing longer now I've dropped the night feeds.
I've learnt the best choices for individuals may not always be the same!

NextSteps · 19-04-2012 10:18am

wmpdd3 wrote: »

He is still colicky though, every night from 8 to 10, then a big burp or poo, then he's off to bed till 9am!!

I'm so jealous. My baby is 13 months and still won't sleep through for more than 3-4 hours.

annamcmahon · 19-04-2012 2:51pm

I agree with the others re a breastfeeding class being good for dads to attend. A mama friend of mine went to one with her husband and found him knowing what a good latch looked like hugely beneficial. I know you said a lot your family breastfed but your husband is the one who'll be there at 3am.

Re nipple pulling at the end of feed, my daughter did that too when my oversupply and fast letdwon started to settle. It can be due to frustration that the flow has slowed. Of course later there's the "let's check out that noise behind me without unlatching"pull. That's lots of fun.

wmpdd3 · 19-04-2012 2:51pm

i know, he always did it but i need him to nap just once during the day so i can look after baby no 1.

re: cap

I'm scared I'm not going to be able to do it again this time & have that horrible raw feeling of being incompetent when it comes so naturally to other people.

i know exactly how you feel, but just remember, theres no time limit, if you make a balls of it for 2 weeks, you can still get back on track.

could we do a flash mob at the hospital and help you out?

How Strange · 19-04-2012 4:51pm

caprilicious get as much help and support as you can. I think that's the key to starting breastfeeding. It is natural but it's also a learned skill. Go to your local Cuidiu or LLL before the baby is born and get the phone number of a leader that way if you're having problems or doubting yourself you can phone them for advice or support.

Fair play dublinlady, I'm glad to hear things are getting easier. Sleep deprivation is just awful.

red fraggle · 19-04-2012 5:17pm

dublinlady wrote: »

I know it's not recommended to have formula around when your breast feeding but I have a carton of sma that comes everywhere with me!!! It's just knowing its there gives me peace of mind that no matter what I'll be able feed my child! Finding it so much easier to feed in public now - use a scarf and clever tops so very discrete and if anyone has an issue after that well its there problem not mine!

I will admit tho...... We have moved onto giving formula at night. It's the right decision for us - she lasts 6 hrs instead of 2-3 and I ended up suffering from anxiety attacks from the tiredness . It's meant a whole new happier me . So A is happier as I'm off the dairy and I'm happier cis I'm getting 5 hrs sleep a night!! We are like two new women!!! Giggling and smiling all day! It's much more the experience of motherhood I wanted and imagined! Glad tho to be still feeding her myself all day as I do really love doing it, I love the bond and exclusivity of our relationship.. Had only planned on feeding her for 8-12 weeks but can see my self continuing longer now I've dropped the night feeds.
I've learnt the best choices for individuals may not always be the same!

great to hear dublinlady!:D sleep does wonders!!!

Hobbitfeet · 19-04-2012 5:40pm

I agree with how strange. My lo is now 12 weeks he's my first. I also come from a family of breastfeeders so I knew I would have a lot of help and support from them. But I still went to my local LeLeche meetings when I was pregnant just to meet the people and the leader really. About 2 weeks into feeding I got really bad engorgement and sore nipples my sister and mum gave me the same advice on how to help with it but I still called the LeLeche leader to make sure

she gave me the exact same advice as my mum and sister but it was just good to hear it from her too don't know why really but it made me feel a lot better so I would definitely recommend going to a prep course or group meeting before

galah · 20-04-2012 10:28am

it's a bit late in the proceedings for us - but can someone (for next time ;-)) explain how LLL or Cuidu work? Can I just ring up and say 'listen, I have a problem breastfeeding' and they'll come out and help? How much does it cost?

I know they had bf meetings in hospital - didnt help me though since I was stuck in the house in the sticks after a section, and had no means of getting into town - by the time I was able to leave the house, we were 6 weeks into feeding and muddling through somehow. It never occurred to me to ask for help or ring anyone...the public health nurse was lovely, but she only came out during the first week at home - again no good if you hit a wall after that...

How Strange · 20-04-2012 12:30pm

galah yes, you can phone a leader who is highly trained btw and I think they will come out and see you if needs be. They're free so they are a fantastic resource for mums especially in these times when many people mightn't have €80-100 to spend on a private lactation consultant.

Cuidiu, as far as I know, tend to hold coffee morning meetings whereas LLL may have morning meetings in some areas but mostly it's evening meetings once a month.

Mink · 20-04-2012 1:30pm

dublinlady wrote: »

I will admit tho...... We have moved onto giving formula at night. It's the right decision for us - she lasts 6 hrs instead of 2-3 and I ended up suffering from anxiety attacks from the tiredness .

This doesn't sound like a bad idea. I might keep this option in the back of my mind for when I have a supply established/feeding established etc.

I think I'm definitely going to go to a couple La Leche meetings before the birth so I'm more clued in - only so much you can get from a book or online videos. Do you pay into them? Are they only for women or can partners come?

The Breast Feeding Support Thread

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