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The worst punishment imposed by your parents

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    #62
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    opinion guy wrote: »
    Eh....there has to be more to this story. You can't just walk into the courts and say 'I want my kid barred from my house because they left college'

    You can walk in and say there is a threat of violence from the kid. Unless the kid comes in to deny it and succeeds the order will issue.


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    #63
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    Jo King wrote: »
    You can walk in and say there is a threat of violence from the kid. Unless the kid comes in to deny it and succeeds the order will issue.

    Eh not just on your first time word with no previous history of complaints to garda etc. You would need evidence in terms of garda to corroborate complatints had been made, hospital records etc etc


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    #64
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    opinion guy wrote: »
    Eh not just on your first time word with no previous history of complaints to garda etc. You would need evidence in terms of garda to corroborate complatints had been made, hospital records etc etc

    No you don't. Conditional barring orders are given for the asking. It is only if there is a dispute corroborating evidence is needed. Many a man who is innocent has found himself out in the street while the woman entertains her new boyfriend in the house.


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    #65
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    For a family of four boys, there were actually very few serious punishments given out. Mostly just shouting and making us feel guilty when we did something wrong, occassionally having to stay in the house for the rest of the day, but generally it'd all be forgotten about the next day.

    I spoke to my Dad about it a couple of weeks ago and he agreed with me that he didn't see the point of grounding kids for days. If the child has done something wrong either because they weren't aware it was wrong or they were being careless/thoughtless, then it seems pointless to punish them for days once they've realised the error of their ways.

    If they do something wrong despite being in full knowledge that it's wrong, then that's a different matter, but that's usually down to something more than just being "bad".

    We were never grounded, the worst was one brother who wasn't allowed out after 6pm on the weekends for a month or so after getting brought home drunk by the Gardai one night. The purpose of that was not to punish him but rather protect him from himself :D

    He said he always found it impossible to discipline me because I was painfully honest. I learned very early on that the best way out of trouble is to face it head-on, so if I'd been caught doing something the very first thing I would do is go home and admit it to my parents and offer to accept the consequences. They'd have no response to that because punishment seems a bit pointless then :D

    Four boys, all of whom have good stable families, a great relationship with our parents and eachother, never been in any even remotely serious trouble with the Gardai. So they must have been onto something with their discipline tactics. :)


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    #66
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users Posts: 5,761 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    Quazzie wrote: »
    I was threatened with the 'black hole' in the local Garda barracks when I was a kid. I remember been shown the door to it once. For years I believed there was some cave-like hole in the Garda barracks for bold kids. I was in my early teens before the fear subsided and I realised it was a cupboard door I'd been shown.

    My parents did something similar to that, they used to show me this mouldering old building off Athlunkard Street every time we went to Limerick, telling me it was an 'industrial school' and I'd be sent there if I kept misbehaving the way I was. Stories of nuns and cat-o-nine-tails abounded.

    I'll be driving down Athlunkard Street some time tomorrow afternoon and I know I will still get that shiver up my spine...


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    #67
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    My dad used to batter me every day :pac: And the psychological stuff. I remember the social coming round one day after I'd gone to school with a black eye and I said I'd walked into a cupboard.


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    #68
    Maedbhish
    Registered Users Posts: 209 ✭✭Maedbhish


    Merch wrote: »
    wooden spoon across the arse, stings like hell :eek:
    One time I had a bar of toffee (think scotch toffee) in my back pocket, it took the hiding and I acted it up :D it was broken up into pieces.

    oh and stew, I hated it :) but Id probably love it now.

    The dreaded Wooden Spoon!!! :(


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    #69
    daniels.ducks
    Registered Users Posts: 492 ✭✭daniels.ducks


    Maedbhish wrote: »
    The dreaded Wooden Spoon!!! :(

    When ya hear the drawers rattling you know to run and hide!


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    #70
    MadameGascar
    Registered Users Posts: 247 ✭✭MadameGascar


    Not my parents, I wouldn't want to write about the cruelty that took place there! But my cousins would often hold me upside down by the ankles and get the dog to lick my face. Even now when I have to discipline or make a kid I'm taking care of do something I just tickle them, and its by far the most effective.:D


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    #71
    bodhrandude
    Registered Users Posts: 12,390 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    FFS, mods its like a scratched record repeating on boards, merge this with 'did you ever get beat by your parents'.

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



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    #72
    harmoniums
    Registered Users Posts: 533 ✭✭✭harmoniums


    opinion guy wrote: »
    Eh....there has to be more to this story. You can't just walk into the courts and say 'I want my kid barred from my house because they left college'

    If he left college, I assume he is over 18.
    If hes no longer a minor, his parents no longer have to provide a roof over his head.
    They can just turn up and say they dont want him in the house, but the keeps showing up!
    They dont have to claim a threat of violence or anything, just that he's no longer wanted around there.

    Douche move, but the poster is a full grown adult legally, and no longer entitled to anything from his parents.


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    #73
    Peetrik
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Peetrik


    I remember being delighted as a nipper when my parents bought me a woden spoon as a special present for baking... wasn't as keen on wooden spoons after a few months.


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    #74
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    bodhrandude wrote: »
    FFS, mods its like a scratched record repeating on boards, merge this with 'did you ever get beat by your parents'.

    You got beaten by your parents, didn't you? I can tell. It's made you all grumpy.


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    #75
    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
    Registered Users Posts: 3,236 ✭✭✭Dr. Kenneth Noisewater


    God DAMNIT that wooden spoon hurt like hell! I was never so relieved as the day my mother chased me with it and when I got in under the table, she swung it, but broke it off of the leg of the table :D

    My glee was short lived when I realised that there was a wooden spoon dispensary in town :eek:


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    #76
    zcorpian88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,515 ✭✭✭zcorpian88


    Aye the wooden spoon was the Irish choice of "batin" the child with if ya got out of line...many a day I got a belt of it too, frigging hurt like hell, I developed reflexes like a cat from it though, total advantage!


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    #77
    44leto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    Being kept in and not being allowed out. I use to even ask to be hit instead.


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    #78
    zcorpian88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,515 ✭✭✭zcorpian88


    44leto wrote: »
    Being kept in and not being allowed out. I use to even ask to be hit instead.
    Yeah you would almost prefer a belt. It used to be agonizing seeing friends out in the street having fun playing kirbs, names, tip the can, hide and go seek etc. The boredom especially when I was a kid only 2 stations on the the tv and I was always used to misbehave on a Sunday, when there is **** all on the telly except matinees and Coronation Street Omnibuses. Oh please god noooo!.....gimme the wooden spoon!


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    #79
    Stinicker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,102 ✭✭✭Stinicker


    My father disconnected the aerial in the attic from the cabling thus cutting off the whole house from any tv signal. I was around 11 and brought in the ladder from the garage and reconnected it myself, he then proceeded to de-tune every station as it was one of those old tvs with manual tuning wheels and no remote. Again I mastered it and his punishments turned into a great education for me as

    I learned about Aerials and TV and today am about as skilled as any TV installer and have done a few installs for friends and family. I could go into the industry except I am not great at heights!!


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    #80
    44leto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    zcorpian88 wrote: »
    Yeah you would almost prefer a belt. It used to be agonizing seeing friends out in the street having fun playing kirbs, names, tip the can, hide and go seek etc. The boredom especially when I was a kid only 2 stations on the the tv and I was always used to misbehave on a Sunday, when there is **** all on the telly except matinees and Coronation Street Omnibuses. Oh please god noooo!.....gimme the wooden spoon!

    It really was, I was only talking about this to my brother the other day and he said now you can't get the kids to go out, and that is true. It really was av marked difference between my childhood and the modern one. Perhaps that partially explains the epidemic in childhood obesity.


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    #81
    zcorpian88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,515 ✭✭✭zcorpian88


    Stinicker wrote: »
    My father disconnected the aerial in the attic from the cabling thus cutting off the whole house from any tv signal. I was around 11 and brought in the ladder from the garage and reconnected it myself, he then proceeded to de-tune every station as it was one of those old tvs with manual tuning wheels and no remote. Again I mastered it and his punishments turned into a great education for me as

    I learned about Aerials and TV and today am about as skilled as any TV installer and have done a few installs for friends and family. I could go into the industry except I am not great at heights!!
    That's cool, the way your punishment turned into something positive in the end. Ya'd have to thank the father for it :)


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    #82
    zcorpian88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,515 ✭✭✭zcorpian88


    44leto wrote: »
    It really was, I was only talking about this to my brother the other day and he said now you can't get the kids to go out, and that is true. It really was av marked difference between my childhood and the modern one. Perhaps that partially explains the epidemic in childhood obesity.
    Yeah ive noticed it too, sure I still live in the same street I grew up in and ya'd rarely see kids out playing now, give or take the odd 2 kids on bikes. I had video games as a kid. I had a sega mega drive but my folks were smart and only let us play it in the living room at night on the weekends. During the day they kicked me out the house had to be back in for meals then out again till it got dark. Then get a good talking to for dirtying clothes and stuff lol....Good times all the same :)


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    #83
    previous user
    Registered Users Posts: 1,024 ✭✭✭previous user


    paky wrote: »
    my parents got so angry with me after i dropped out of college that they through me out of the house. they then got a barring order against me from entering the house again. i didn't speak to them for 6 months after. when i started speaking to them again things were never the same and i don't think they ever will be the same again.
    thats fuking rough dude, college isnt' for everyone.


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    #84
    44leto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    previous user wrote: »
    thats fuking rough dude, college isnt' for everyone.

    Nor is paying for it. If I scrimped and save so my child could go to college then he dropped out I would be pissed to say the least.


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    #85
    kneeler
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 38 ✭kneeler


    The worst punishment I got was baking soda and oatmeal being rubbed into my bottom after a spanking. It was awful. You had to stand against the wall with your hands above your head until it dried. It started to sting and sting! Another punishment i didn't like but wasn't as bad was having my jeans being taken away and being forced to wear a stupid floral dress during the summer holidays


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    #86
    Johnny Foreigner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 923 ✭✭✭Johnny Foreigner


    My parents were Roman Catholic Republicans.
    When they found out I was dating a Protestant girl they gave me an ultimatum.
    Either dump her, or they would disown me.
    They disowned me.
    I am an Atheist, and it has never mattered to me which religious denomination someone is (if any).


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    #87
    44leto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    Johnny Foreigner wrote: »
    My parents were Roman Catholic Republicans.
    When they found out I was dating a Protestant girl they gave me an ultimatum.
    Either dump her, or they would disown me.
    They disowned me.
    I am an Atheist, and it has never mattered to me which religious denomination someone is (if any).

    That is sad.


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    #88
    skyhighflyer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭skyhighflyer


    kneeler wrote: »
    The worst punishment I got was baking soda and oatmeal being rubbed into my bottom after a spanking. It was awful. You had to stand against the wall with your hands above your head until it dried. It started to sting and sting! Another punishment i didn't like but wasn't as bad was having my jeans being taken away and being forced to wear a stupid floral dress during the summer holidays

    Your parents are psychos.


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    #89
    zcorpian88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,515 ✭✭✭zcorpian88


    paky wrote: »
    my parents got so angry with me after i dropped out of college that they through me out of the house. they then got a barring order against me from entering the house again. i didn't speak to them for 6 months after. when i started speaking to them again things were never the same and i don't think they ever will be the same again.
    College isn't for everyone or maybe sometimes people can make a wrong decision course wise it isn't the end of the world. I dropped out myself last year. I have multiple reasons for leaving. I was doing a legal studies course in IT Carlow a while back was an o.k course but one of the subjects was accounting which I was awful at, and I had the added annoyance of being put on team projects for other classes with two unbelievably lazy younger lads that wouldn't contribute anything meaning I had to pick up the slack, and ended up falling behind in accounting as a result of it. We also had this head wrecking lecturer, who is also a solicitor, she had this obscure lecturing method of going through powerpoint notes very quickly and explain at the same time and never giving enough time to take stuff down. Like everyone in the class would be rushing and racing to get all the notes down on paper while trying to hear what she has to say. Then she moves on with down through the notes and one of us in the class would ask could she go back up and there were a few occasions where she would say “You need to write quicker lads” sure everyone in the class were nearly setting fire to their paper from writing so quick! I bet you’re all thinking “But you can get your notes online surely” No we couldn’t as this lecturer wouldn’t put notes on the blackboard system as she thought we wouldn’t show up to class. Personally I thought she should have stuck with the day job but whatever, I passed her class but she could have made it easier on us and we may have got better marks.
    There was also some really silly stuck up young ones. (fresh out of school types if you get me they just acted giddy and spent easier classes like I.T just messing and not paying attention) They wouldn't mix with the slightly older students which there was a few of, like I was 22 at the time and there was like a 25 year old guy with me he was sound, and a 21 year old girl who was great too aswell as a much older mature student who was cool too and they dropped out too which was awful. I would have liked to see them stay on they were a bright bunch like. I dreaded telling the parents I couldn't face going back to repeat, they didn't pay my fees though and weren’t disappointed really they were quite supportive when I told them the whole story. Lucky for me I had money put aside. If I ever go back ill be much more careful of the course I pick to avoid going through that experience again. My folks might have been pissed too if they did pay my way through college but they never would have booted me out of the house, it’s quite extreme,
    I wish you well for the future anyway and I hope the parents realize the error of their ways


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    #90
    orchidsrpretty
    Registered Users Posts: 2,138 ✭✭✭orchidsrpretty


    I got my nose pierced when I was about 14/15. My dad is of the generation that if God wanted more holes in your body he would put them there himself. When I got home it took about 30mins for him to see it, he went to grab me and I ran into the toilet and locked the door.

    He wouldn't let me come out until I took it out. I think I lasted a few hours at most and gave up. If only I was the crafty type I could of climbed out the window and I would still have a lovely hole in my nose.

    Edit: If he knew how many piercings and tattoos I have now, he would be six foot under, I often think about showing him some tattoos when he is annoying me and see what happens:)


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    #91
    Leiva
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Leiva


    DazMarz wrote: »
    My folks never raised a hand to me, but it was all psychological punishment and torture I got put through. Nothing I ever did was good enough. Pretty much everything I did was to try and earn their love and nothing was ever good enough in their eyes. I frequently found solace in the bottom of a bottle as a teen (hiding this too was fun; used to dump empties on my way to school and stuff).

    I often find myself wondering if the odd physical punishment, while genuinely loving me and stuff, would have been better.

    I pushed myself to excel in school, despite just wanting to have fun, all to please them and to live up to their expectations. I always wanted to be in the Gardaí, but they wanted me to go to college first. So, instead of following my dream and signing up to join the Gardaí, I went to UCD and completed my degree. Got a 2:1 degree, but was miserable for most of my time in college. And now I'm languishing in menial jobs and stuck waiting for the Garda recruitment freeze to be over, which isn't likely to be anytime before I turn fúcking 40.

    I was regularly told I was a failure. Runner-up in a TaeKwonDo competition... not good enough. Failure. Why didn't you win? Getting dropped from the football team (I was a goalkeeper), in favour of a guy who is now playing professionally in England... Failure. You're never good enough. Useless. You can't get a job better than a barman? Useless, failure, shame of the family...

    I did so much for them. Any time they went on holidays, I was relied upon to manage and run the family business, which I did. Any time I was needed to do anything, I did it. But did I get thanked or appreciated for it? Never. Anyone else in the family or anyone else who worked with them was treated with respect and adulation. But their own son was always a letdown, a failure and just a fúckup.

    I cried myself to sleep so many nights, just wanting them to love me. But they never did. I used to drink myself into oblivion so many nights and seriously thought about... well, when you get depressed what terrible things do you think about???

    I finally moved out of their house and into my own place about a year ago, and honestly it was the best thing I ever did. I still see them a bit, as I still feel a sense of duty to do right by them, but I cannot wait for the day when I can finally go, have my own life and be free. My friends (who have met them) cannot understand it; they are as nice as pie to all my friends and so on. They never see the dark side of it. The passive-aggressiveness, the guilt-trips, the anger, the mental torture. It never used to end.

    I look at other people and see the good relations they have with their parents and it kills me a little inside. My best friend would do anything for his parents and vice-versa... mine can't even have a genuine kind word for me at times... Living away from them has made things a little more civil, but I still feel bitter towards them sometimes. No matter how hard I try, nor what I ever do... nothing is good enough and I'm always playing second best to other family members (most notably my cousins) and I'm always seen as something of a black sheep in the family (even though I do nothing wrong, except try my best). I'll admit, I probably don't live up to what I could be potentially, but I try and I am a really hard worker, but nothing is good enough.

    The one that really sticks in my mind is when I had just finished an 18-hour working shift and was coming home at like 9am. My mother was in the house. A package from England had arrived for me, and she'd had to bring it in. It was a new suit, shirt and formal shoes I'd ordered from Savile Row. This started then, about me spending too much money on clothes. I was tired and responded in a bit of a snippier manner than I usually do and said something about that I could be injecting my money into my arm. Cue a rant from her about my failings and being worthless and never doing anything good with my life. Cue me moving out a week later. And good fúcking riddance. I might not be a high-powered millionaire or anything, but I live a good life and I try to enjoy it, but I don't think my mind will ever be right and I don't think I'll ever get over being more or less rejected by the two people who are supposed to love you most...

    Sorry about the long rant, but it's good to get it off my chest!!!

    You my friend are gonna make one fantastic Guard .


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