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The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389
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Itwasntme. wrote: »And here I thought I was popular.
*goes off to find bag of frozen peas to reduce massively swollen head*
Well have a look to see who 'added you to their favourites'. That might make you feel better - or worse!
Checked mine yesterday - list is huge yet have only ever heard from 3 or 4 of them! Men baffle me sometimes!! 0 -
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There is no league system so to speak. I've gotten dates with women via online dating that on paper would be 'out of my league' (but then turned out to be bat s- crazy, but taht'sa different story).
Yeah, I know what you're saying, I had similar when I was on POF, a couple of years ago.
However, I'd have to disagree on there being 'no leagues'. There clearly are as evidenced by the fact that most couples you see are of similar attractiveness, - if all other things are equal. Things often aren't though.
Power, money, wittiness, intelligence, all contribute to 'one's level' so to speak, just as having been married before, having children, lack of a sense of humour, lack of intelligence, age difference, and poverty can all detract from 'one's level'.
In real life, these plusses and minuses are more evident than on a dating site, where I think looks alone count for more. It's also easier to dismiss someone because of an obvious minus, as they aren't in your company, and you dont get to feel the attraction which often overrides these minuses in real life.
I looked back over my results since rejoining OKC in Dec, and I have first messaged over 30 women. In that time I have had one date, - she didn't feel a connection, so there wasn't a second.
If in that same timespan I had initiated conversation with 30 available attractive, smart, IMO "generally suitable" women, I'm sure I'd have had a date with at least ten of them. This is going on past experience, but 'getting the right signals' before approach would have to be taken into account.
Problem is, in real life, I'd have to approach hundreds to find 30 that would fit the criteria above, and that just doesent happen,- for me anyway. I'd say I approached about five
I said in Dec, I'm giving it till March, - I will, but it's fairly depressing, and bad for one's self confidence. 0 -
Yeah, I know what you're saying, I had similar when I was on POF, a couple of years ago.
However, I'd have to disagree on there being 'no leagues'. There clearly are as evidenced by the fact that most couples you see are of similar attractiveness, - if all other things are equal. Things often aren't though.
Power, money, wittiness, intelligence, all contribute to 'one's level' so to speak, just as having been married before, having children, lack of a sense of humour, lack of intelligence, age difference, and poverty can all detract from 'one's level'.
In real life, these plusses and minuses are more evident than on a dating site, where I think looks alone count for more. It's also easier to dismiss someone because of an obvious minus, as they aren't in your company, and you dont get to feel the attraction which often overrides these minuses in real life.
I looked back over my results since rejoining OKC in Dec, and I have first messaged over 30 women. In that time I have had one date, - she didn't feel a connection, so there wasn't a second.
If in that same timespan I had initiated conversation with 30 available attractive, smart, IMO "generally suitable" women, I'm sure I'd have had a date with at least ten of them. This is going on past experience, but 'getting the right signals' before approach would have to be taken into account.
Problem is, in real life, I'd have to approach hundreds to find 30 that would fit the criteria above, and that just doesent happen,- for me anyway. I'd say I approached about five
I said in Dec, I'm giving it till March, - I will, but it's fairly depressing, and bad for one's self confidence.
That's a great synopsis. Life limits our options which in turn leads to looking at alternative online options, which in turn limits your options! Haha. You have to develop a hard neck for online dating. I hope it works out for you in the end.0 -
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AnnyHallsal wrote: »The problems you singled out: lack of responses, women with demanding or narrow criteria, I fear that's the reality most men on dating sites have to contend with. It's easier if you enter into it with no expectations, patience, resilience, and a sense of humour about it - whether you're male or female.
I don't know match.com, but as far as I'm aware it doesn't have enough Irish users to be worth a subscription. I think you'd be better off using the free sites: pof, connectingsingles, anotherfriend, ok cupid, first.
Thanks for the reply Anny
Yeah I figured that online dating would be similar to real life dating where the vast majority of women hold all the cards and just sit back waiting to be approached. I thought, well was hoping really, that at least some women would be willing to take a chance and send a message or make an approach as you don't need a fraction of the confidence that they would need in real life plus the rejection isn't nearly as bad as it would be to their face.
Even though I'm on match.com now I might give the free sites ago but I was advised to steer well clear of them as they are apparently full of txt speaking young girls with ridiculously high expectations looking for twentysomething guys who put up photos of their sixpacks. That might be a total cliché but I really don't think my fragile ego could handle the apparent ego massaging on sites like OKC or POF. I might have to bite the bullet on that too unfortunately.
Lastly I am Dublin based but I'm very open to meet women of any nationality either here, in another part of the country or abroad, so they don't have to be Irish women at all, infact I would mind a foreign woman for a change.
Anyway thanks again for the advice, it's very much appreciated.0 -
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wobblyknees wrote: »Just say the word and I'll have a horses head at the end of her bed in the morning.
Meh, not too fussed. At least now I don't have to miss the Newcastle match.
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wobblyknees wrote: »What the hell am I supposed to do with this bloody horse?!
:mad:
Ride it
Though if it looks like this, I'd advise against it.
<_<
>_>0 -
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I'm wondering - like another poster, are we all just shooting at people out of our "league" ?
I generally don't agree with the concept of leagues determining who we date, evidenced by personal experience of dating women I figured were waay hotter and smarter than me, but I wonder if in RL, our own individual charisma allows us to jump up a few levels sometimes, while in photos and messages, the lack of being able to project this is the true leveller?
I think this is the main flaw with internet dating. You don't have the body language or voice or eye contact to get you interested in someone as you converse with them. People take bad photos and can structure their profiles badly. One phrase could have a person say "no thanks" due to taking the tone or context of the phrase up wrong.
Do you have to reveal you are separted on OKC? I'd leave it out and see if there is a difference. And maybe give POF a go for a week. 0 -
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This discussion has been closed.
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