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Jokes not everyone will get

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    #62
    poindexter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 675 ✭✭✭poindexter


    guys at the doctor and doc tells him to lie on the couch. when he's on the couch doctor asks him "comfy?", guy says "Govan"


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    #63
    Mahatma coat
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,869 ✭✭✭Mahatma coat


    Why did the Cat fall of the Roof

    It lost its Mu


    :D:D:D


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    #64
    thebullkf
    Registered Users Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭thebullkf


    A man says to his dog trainer, "I don't know what to do. Every time a bell rings, my dog goes into the corner."

    The trainer says, "That's OK, he's a boxer."


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    #65
    kildara
    Registered Users Posts: 456 ✭✭kildara


    poindexter wrote: »
    guys at the doctor and doc tells him to lie on the couch. when he's on the couch doctor asks him "comfy?", guy says "Govan"

    Furryboots?


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    #66
    Bearhunter
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭Bearhunter


    kildara wrote: »
    Furryboots?

    Boot three mile.


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    #67
    kildara
    Registered Users Posts: 456 ✭✭kildara


    What's the most popular drug in Aberdeen?




    Ken fit a mean.


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    #68
    banquo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    Yo mama so fat, she's an array out of bounds exception error.


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    #69
    Rented Mule
    Registered Users Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    Descartes walks into Burger King and says to the girl behind the counter.

    'I'll have a Whopper with cheese, an apple pie, and a chocolate shake'.

    The girl behind the counter asks 'would you like fries with that?'

    Decartes responds 'I think not'

    <<poof>>

    He disappeared.


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    #70
    Sam Vimes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    Kaptain Redeye wrote: »
    I think I got the word joke out of that. Anyone with Japanese care to translate?

    http://translate.google.com/ :)
    Why the chicken crossed the circle of the Mobius strip?

    I have to go to the same side.


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    #71
    Sam Vimes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    A plane was flying in from Poland when they went through some turbulence.

    The pilot said over the intercom "We're experiencing some instability. Could all the poles please move to the left of the plane?"


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    #72
    poindexter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 675 ✭✭✭poindexter


    kildara wrote: »
    Furryboots?
    just hairy toes.


    Dumbartonish, yirsmelf??


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    #73
    Amston
    Registered Users Posts: 39 ✭Amston


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I'm so cultured, I make yoghurt jealous


    I like it :)


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    #74
    VinnyTGM
    Registered Users Posts: 829 ✭✭✭VinnyTGM


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    How did our old currency get it's name ?
    It rhymes with bank manager.

    Good one.


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    #75
    MelonieHead
    Closed Accounts Posts: 336 ✭✭MelonieHead


    Q: What three elements combine to make a weapon?

    A: Potassium, Nickel and Iron.


    Johnny was a chemist's son but Johnny is no more.
    What Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4


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    #76
    Ping Chow Chi
    Registered Users Posts: 3,779 ✭✭✭Ping Chow Chi


    banquo wrote: »
    Yo mama so fat, she's an array out of bounds exception error.

    LOVE LOVE IT :D


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    #77
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    A man goes into a barber's and asks for his hair to be cut like Frank Sinatra.
    Ten minutes later the barber has shaved his head completely bald.
    The man goes mad saying he looks like Yul Brenner.
    The barber says, "Damn, I was sure it was Frank Sinatra who starred in 'The King and I'".


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    #78
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,728 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Two flies on Kojacs head, 'Smile we're on Telly'



    Why do elephants have big ears?
    Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.




    how many amoeba does it take to change a lightbulb?
    1, no 2, 4, no 8, no 16, 32, 64, 128.........


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    #79
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,728 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    What do you call one Ukrainian? --A partisan.
    What do you call two Ukrainians? --A partisan cell.
    What do you call three Ukrainians? --A partisan cell with a traitor in their midst.


    4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C204F6E65204F5320746
    F2066696E64207468656D2CDA4F6E65204F5320746F206272696E67207468656D20
    616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062696E64207468656D


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    #80
    Rented Mule
    Registered Users Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

    4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C2C204F6E65204F5320746
    F2066696E64207468656D2CDA4F6E65204F5320746F206272696E67207468656D20
    616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E6573732062696E64207468656D

    .....and he rode a black horse.


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    #81
    Stabshauptmann
    Registered Users Posts: 4,885 ✭✭✭Stabshauptmann


    Rented Mule wrote: »
    .....and he rode a black horse.
    he rode a nazgul, no?


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    #82
    fikay
    Closed Accounts Posts: 251 ✭✭fikay


    What does P.M.P.A. stand for?

    National Dyslexia Association of Ireland


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    #83
    Bearhunter
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭Bearhunter


    Two dyslexics walk into a bra...


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    #84
    mink_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,454 ✭✭✭mink_man


    i think the thread should be called "every joke i will not get!"


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    #85
    tossy
    Registered Users Posts: 9,587 ✭✭✭tossy


    fikay wrote: »
    What does P.M.P.A. stand for?

    National Dyslexia Association of Ireland

    Thats a great one - thank you very much,i cracked up in work! :D


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    #86
    Stabshauptmann
    Registered Users Posts: 4,885 ✭✭✭Stabshauptmann


    fikay wrote: »
    What does P.M.P.A. stand for?

    National Dyslexia Association of Ireland
    Is this joke over my head, or is it just told wrong?


    Bearhunter's I get, but I cant figure out how a dyslexic person would write DAI as PMPA


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    #87
    KarmaGarda
    Registered Users Posts: 1,009 ✭✭✭KarmaGarda


    2 sausages in a pan. 1 says to the other "god it's awful hot in here". Other sausage replies "holy crap! a talkin sausage!"


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    #88
    WIZE
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,597 ✭✭✭WIZE


    Why are Nuns called Nuns?
    coz they don't get none


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    #89
    Stabshauptmann
    Registered Users Posts: 4,885 ✭✭✭Stabshauptmann


    Come one guys, stay on topic, dont ruin a good thread


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    #90
    Penn
    Registered Users Posts: 33,233 ✭✭✭✭Penn


    fikay wrote: »
    What does P.M.P.A. stand for?

    National Dyslexia Association of Ireland

    I always heard it as "What does DNA stand for?..... National Dyslexia Association"


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    #91
    Penn
    Registered Users Posts: 33,233 ✭✭✭✭Penn


    What sits at the bottom of the ocean and stops water going towards the Earths core?

    DPC


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