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The Fathers Thread

Melion

Am i the only male that looks in here?

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tobsey

Your mrs should have two bags packed, one for the delivery suite and one for the ward. Only bring the one for the delivery suite in when you arrive. Leave the one for the ward in the car until you need it. It'll save dragging it aroung the place, and the staff might even tell you to leave it.

It's very unlikely that when you arrive that your mrs will be struggling so much she can't walk a short distance. In early labour moving around can even help. It's all double yellow lines outside the door except for ambulances. If you must stop outside then remember that ambulances must get priority. Chances are than anyone arriving in an ambulance will probably be in a more urgent situation than you.

There's no need to bring the car seat, buggy etc when you're going in. Again they won't have anywhere to put them in the ward so the staff will probably just tell you to take them home until mammy and baby are ready to come home.

We had all ours in the Rotunda and there is a bit more space outside when compared with Holles street but we never had an issue with parking close enough and walking in. I'd suggest asking the staff at your next appointment. They'll know best anyway.

California Dreamer

Can you tell me the differences between the delivery and ward bags?

I know I am the one thats going to have to organise everything so would like to know.

Also is the 'push present' still a thing, and what did you get your OH?

bee06

California Dreamer wrote: »

Can you tell me the differences between the delivery and ward bags?

I know I am the one thats going to have to organise everything so would like to know.

Also is the 'push present' still a thing, and what did you get your OH?

The delivery bag only contains the stuff needed while your OH is in labour (and the period shortly after) eg 1 outfit for the baby, an old pjs or t-shirt to wear during labour etc. The ward bag has everything needed for the rest of the stay in hospital.

My husband got me a necklace after our son was born but I wouldn’t call it a push present. It was part of my Christmas present which he delayed giving me because I was overdue.

BSquared

I see a Facebook page is setup for Expecting father's in Ireland if anyone is interested?
https://www.facebook.com/groups/844789515725145/

Pawwed Rig

bee06 wrote: »

The delivery bag only contains the stuff needed while your OH is in labour (and the period shortly after) eg 1 outfit for the baby, an old pjs or t-shirt to wear during labour etc. The ward bag has everything needed for the rest of the stay in hospital.

1 bit of advice without being too graphic but bring a multipack of the cheapest knickers you can get in Pennys and use them as disposable.

bee06

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

1 bit of advice without being too graphic but bring a multipack of the cheapest knickers you can get in Pennys and use them as disposable.

And biggest! No bikini knickers ... strictly granny pants are required unfortunately.

California Dreamer

bee06 wrote: »

And biggest! No bikini knickers ... strictly granny pants are required unfortunately.

I was told to get a size or 2 bigger just in case a C section is required.

bee06

California Dreamer wrote: »

I was told to get a size or 2 bigger just in case a C section is required.

Yep, even if she doesn’t need a C-section she won’t go back to her pre-pregnancy size so a couple of sizes bigger is required. I meant biggest in terms of coverage rather than size.

spottybananas

How many sizes bigger depends on body shape really, I got one size bigger and they were massive, any bigger wouldn't have stayed up.

Neyite

bee06 wrote: »

And biggest! No bikini knickers ... strictly granny pants are required unfortunately.

Yep, the big up-to-the-armpits type that the back covers the entire buttocks. When you are bruised, sore and bleeding you do not want them doing wedgies on you.

Stay away from the microfibre ones too. I was given those for my hospital bag - good coverage, right up to the belly button. But what with having a post-natal tummy still as big as 5/6 months pregnant, they rolled down. Right onto my section scar. It was agonising. Just cheap cotton big yokes.

Don't be tempted to get her loose boxers either - the crotch seams in those will chafe plus she will need a gusset to stick the maternity pad to.

Another tip for the post-natal bleeding when it's heavy at night time, a baby nappy (without using the tabs) in snug underwear gives excellent coverage front and back to avoid leaking - way more than a lot of maternity towels. The towels can bunch up, where the nappy's elasticated leg helps keep leaks in, and the nappy lining is lovely and soft where some towels feel plasticky and cause irritation.

rainbow kirby

spottybananas wrote: »

How many sizes bigger depends on body shape really, I got one size bigger and they were massive, any bigger wouldn't have stayed up.

I'd second this, I got 2 sizes up and they really are uncomfortably big.

Purple Lemons

Neyite wrote: »

Another tip for the post-natal bleeding when it's heavy at night time, a baby nappy (without using the tabs) in snug underwear gives excellent coverage front and back to avoid leaking - way more than a lot of maternity towels. The towels can bunch up, where the nappy's elasticated leg helps keep leaks in, and the nappy lining is lovely and soft where some towels feel plasticky and cause irritation.

This +1000000

A little aloe vera gel rubbed into a pad/ nappy and frozen for a bit makes a big big difference too when the bleeding has subsided but the swelling and pain are still niggling.

California Dreamer

OH is a bit fed up so taking suggestions on what I can do to help.

At 34 weeks and junior is big but always moving and kicking her to the point of bruised belly.

I want to go to GP tomorrow for a quick check up but she is resisting.

Would welcome any suggestions or help,

bee06

At the end of my pregnancy my husband used to give me regular shoulder/neck massages which were amazing! He also did a lot more of the cooking etc.

spottybananas

Bruised how, just feeling bruised as opposed to actual visible bruising? Sounds pretty normal if it's the former, gp will have no help to offer in that case.

California Dreamer

spottybananas wrote: »

Bruised how, just feeling bruised as opposed to actual visible bruising? Sounds pretty normal if it's the former, gp will have no help to offer in that case.

Actual bruising on her belly from the kicking.

BSquared

Some good prices for Baby products such as Buggy's etc from the below shops. https://traleenurserysupplies.com
http://kingsbabyshop.com

https://www.facebook.com/groups/844789515725145/

tempnam

tempnam wrote: »

tempnam wrote: »

Wanted to let you all know we had our first baby last night at 20 to 12. A girl, a big girl! Weight was almost 9lbs.

Great feeling - but I need some sleep now!!

So we had baby number 2 this week. Another girl. Born on Wednesday morning & weighing in at just over 10lbs!

She's a little smasher! Very alert and moving loads / lifting her head already.

Only problem is now the 1st born has obviously reacted the way any normal 2yr old would react to a new baby in the house! She's playing up / acting out / whatever you want to call it.

She's quite intelligent & advanced for her age so I'm not sure if this is actually a bad thing in this situation as she is more aware of all the changes happening.

Also, my dad passed away last weekend and the funeral was during the week. The whole household & extended family are a little all over the place emotionally & I think this is affecting her too. I feel so sorry for her but when she's acting out I'm trying to discipline her while it's breaking my heart to see how upset she is.

Anyone got any advice please????

Checking in here again to say that baby number 3 was born earlier this week. A boy, born very early Wednesday morning and weighing in at almost 9lbs.

Both our other kids were relatively straightforward deliveries, but this was as close to a 'textbook' birth as we'll ever see.

Waters broke at 2.45am. Headed for hospital, checked in at 3.43am and he was born 59 mins later at 4.42am. We were discharged and sitting back at home with the baby that same evening at 5pm!

Wife did an amazing job. No pain relief of any kind, not even gas & air!

His 2 sisters are very excited. Our eldest is almost 5 - she loves him and wants to hold him and cuddle him all the time. The 2 year old isn't as excited or in love with him as her older sister but seems to be going along with it for now since she copies everything her sister does!!

All going well so far.

Handy11

Hi lads. Will very unlikely happen to any of you here, but just in case:

Baby #2 was born healthy and happy 3 weeks ago. Labour (as with the first, which took 5 hours total) was straight into late stage - contractions 2 mins apart. Total labour time this time was 35 mins. Crazy. We couldn’t make it to the car, never mind the hospital.

We were with Domino Scheme (which I would highly recommend to anyone who can avail of it), and I had the midwife on speakerphone talking me though it as I grabbed towels from the hot press, and my very brave wife gave birth on the bathroom floor as I did the delivery. The midwife had contacted emergency services, so firemen and paramedics arrived a few mins after birth and took over things from there.

I won’t lie, I was sh*tting it, but when you’re in the middle of it you just get it done. Not much else you can do. Catch the baby, unwind the cord from the neck (if it’s wound) and rub the baby’s back until it breathes. That’s all you can do, and then hand the baby to its mother and let her hold it against her skin. That helps regulate the breathing.

So I wanted to post that story to let any of ye lads know, if ye are caught short at home or in a car or anywhere, you can just do it. Have the midwife/hospital number saved on your phone, throw it on speaker, and just do what you can for your missus. Babies are born in all sorts of circumstances and you’ll be fine.

Only one tip I’ll offer is this - If your missus says she’s not going to make it, she’s not going to make it. Don’t try to cajole her into the car. Better at home than the car!!! Nobody knows more than she knows herself, so listen to her, keep a cool head, and do whatever you need to do.

ifElseThen

Congrats to ya both.

This happened to us 5 months ago.
W: "I don't think I can make it".
M: "I'll ring the ambulance. It'll be here in 2 mins"

Hobble down the stairs.

Baby arrives at the bottom of the stairs with her brothers and sisters watching from the top.

Good experience, but yeah until you hear that first cry, it's like a frozen eternity.

Handy11

ifElseThen wrote: »

until you hear that first cry, it's like a frozen eternity.

Oh god, yes. Our girl didn’t cry at all. We got a cough and then nothing. Lots of rubbing for what seemed like minutes (an eternity), but was probably just 20 seconds. And then that magical second cough and visible breathing. She did her first cry about half an hour later!!!!!

Well done to you, lad. It’s a rare moment and act that you got to share with your little one.

Scoondal

No replies for a year. Yeah, we are to busy for this.

Hoboo

Scoondal wrote: »

No replies for a year. Yeah, we are to busy for this.

Men became men, and stopped talking babies. Beer thread is non stop.

Scoondal

Hoboo wrote: »

Men became men, and stopped talking babies. Beer thread is non stop.

But other genders will moan on about how difficult it is.
My wife works full time and goes to college 3 days per week. I do the driving but she is taking lessons.

I still managed a day out for myself in West Cork today. Shopping done, washing tomorrow. Everyone up and out and I'm here for return.
Okay sweeping and hoovering neglected. But my mental health at 80% good.

Genie1986

Hey guys, so my wife is pregnant with twins(18weeks). She is self employed and has stopped working as her work resolves around the beauty sector. My work is in construction(carpenter). I am employed and work is busy. My wife is freaking out that I could come home with the virus which is understandable. I work remotely in construction sites or in Mrs. Murphys/Joe bloggs doing flooring and wardrobes. We took last week off as a precaution to see what was happening with the virus. I have reassured her that I will take the necessary precautions such as mask, gloves etc etc but still no good... also i have told Mrs. Murphy/Joe bloggs that if we are to do work in their house that they must vacate the house from me so there is no contact. I'm in a rock and hard place...I don't want to come back to our home with the virus putting my pregnant wife at risk but i have to work as i need the funds for the twins that are on the way. I have also read articles that the covid 19 has no effect on pregnancy but still that's no consolation in this occasion.
Thoughts and advice would be appreciated?!!
Thanks guys

laserlad2010

Hi Genie, I'm a neonatal doctor working in a Dublin maternity hospital - please have a read of the link from the UK Obstetric Training Body

https://www.rcog.org.uk/en/guidelines-research-services/guidelines/coronavirus-pregnancy/covid-19-virus-infection-and-pregnancy/

I should add we are expecting our first child in November so despite all of my professional knowledge I'll be as clueless as most!

blue note

I'm guessing this thread is fairly dead? We found out we're expecting in March. I don't know what I'm meant to be doing!

lawrencesummers

blue note wrote: »

I'm guessing this thread is fairly dead? We found out we're expecting in March. I don't know what I'm meant to be doing!

Don’t worry you will be told, the key question is if you should do what you are told to do or not.

blue note

lawrencesummers wrote: »

Don’t worry you will be told, the key question is if you should do what you are told to do or not.

We told her family on Sunday. All sisters. They've so much more knowledge than me! Which is obviously as you'd expect right now, I would assume women would be more clued in in general to what goes on in a pregnancy than me. But I better start googling so I'm not too surprised with every step of the way.

lawrencesummers

blue note wrote: »

We told her family on Sunday. All sisters. They've so much more knowledge than me! Which is obviously as you'd expect right now, I would assume women would be more clued in in general to what goes on in a pregnancy than me. But I better start googling so I'm not too surprised with every step of the way.

If you have friends and family around that help and advise it’s half the battle. One of the Consequences of societal changes over the last while is that people Don’t have the same support structures around them when they have kids. Grandparents can often be deceased because people have kids later in life, families can live big distances apart because of employment, and people tend to come from smaller families now than a generation or two before.

Knowing you have somebody that’s been through it all in recent times is invaluable on a lot of levels.