pokerface78 wrote: » you honestly cant meet someone in the middle of a roaring bar/nightclub, great place for 1 night stands but they'll just make you feel worse.
pokerface78 wrote: » it is hard being single, especially when you see all your mates pulling girls around you!
your just a little lonely right now
your self confidence is fine..you described yourself as a great guy,a fine catch and anyone who has low self confidence couldnt do that!
what you need to do is get involved in some kind of social group in college, that way you will get to know someone/lots of people who like the same things as you, and its not an environment that is alcohol fuelled. you honestly cant meet someone in the middle of a roaring bar/nightclub, great place for 1 night stands but they'll just make you feel worse. never worth it! so let people see the real you in a social group!and another great way to meet a girl is online dating, i know it sounds scary but believe me you can have great fun and it'l widen your circle and give you a great boost!! good luck xx
Dudess wrote: » Just because you're confident in some ways doesn't mean you're confident in all departments. I think the OP does seem to lack confidence in a certain sense - the need to feel validated as a person by having "another half". A confident person wouldn't need that. Some very good advice there, but I don't think it's a good idea to pursue a relationship to fill a void - work on your confidence first. You are only 19 - don't put yourself under such pressure.
Blangis wrote: » You appear to have an axe (or ex?) to grind here.
He wants to hook up with girls and has issues with his confidence. Telling him that he shouldn't need to hook up with girls to feel good about himself is just irrelevant. He's 19! 19 year old guys want to hook up with girls, and this isn't something that needs to be deconstructed.
You could offer the above advice about almost anything that a human might possibly be trying to achieve. "You shouldn't need to (have a degree/get a job/have friends/own a house/buy a car/go on holidays/any other human desire) to feel fulfilled." It's silly. And it's actually very dismissive and supercilious.
it feels like you are trying to convince yourself of this by preaching it to other people.
Unregistered wrote: » Hi guys, Just looking for a little advice please. I'm a 19 y/o guy in my 2nd year in college. I'm a decent person, friendly, good sense of humour and have my head fairly well screwed on and have, on occasion, been told that I ain't that too bad looking! My problem is that I cannot get a girl. I see most of my friends pulling nearly every night and I just can't even get close. Although I'm still a virgin, I don't want meaningless one night stands, am I alone in this? At best I can, again on occasion, pluck up the courage to kiss a girl in a club and that's with a few drinks. Any females that I meet in the course of daily life quickly become just friends, and I have been told by many people that I'm too nice, even female friends have told me that. But I don't want to be a guy who disrespects women and treats them badly....it seems like there is no room for that kind of guy anymore... The older I'm getting the worse my confidence is getting in the whole area and to be honest I'm getting fed up and down about it all... Any advice appreciated!
partyguinness wrote: » Mate..when I was 19 and in uni...only one thats right one of my mates (of about 20-30) were in a relationship... Looking back there were very very few couples..lots of shag buddies for sure...;) Enjoy yourself and turn being single into an advantage...otherwise you will come across as desperate..:)
cherrypicker555 wrote: » Nice is a euphamism for weak.
If you lack sexual confidence, use beautiful escorts, sleeping with them will improve your esteem and make you more confident with everyday girls.
Your projecting your insecurites
which they pick up, get a bit of attitude. Learn about body language and how to reciprocate it alot of stuff is on a subconcious level, improve your posture, way you dress etc.Learn to project subtle confidence.Never over do compliments, if you give them start with small neutral things, notice their shoes, handbag, hair etc, women can see corny a mile away. Listen to them, empathise give them lots of hugs, listen to their probs tell them you understand then pounce, then go cold on them and neg them ie start being neg about small things and build it up. Your putting them on a pedastal, women dont like that, dont get me wrong be nice but treat them like your little sister rather then some kind of Goddess, that has to be earned.
Dudess wrote: » Oh I'm a woman.
Dudess wrote: » Oh I'm a woman. And the OP isn't interested in just dicking around so tips on how to seduce easily-led women aren't of much use to him...
cherrypicker555 wrote: » There you go ha. :P
cherrypicker555 wrote: » He said he cant pull.
partyguinness wrote: » One night stands dont have to meaningless...use them as a character builder..this is real life not an episode of Home and Away. I used one night stands to perfect my skills and technique. My current g/f is eternally grateful..:D
Dudess wrote: » Whatever that means. I'm not jealous of women who score caveman types if that's what you're implying... ... but he's not interested in one-night stands, which is "pulling" no? No matter what they do in terms of building technique etc, the OP sees them as meaningless.
cherrypicker555 wrote: » misogny my friend ? but it has got me to sleep with 300 pus women.
I don't want meaningless one night stands
I don't want to be a guy who disrespects women and treats them badly
Dudess wrote: » What I mean is: make sure you're looking for these things for the right reasons. Getting a girlfriend so you won't feel left out is not a right reason. Pursuing a relationship because you want to experience the joy of being in a loving one is.
Blangis wrote: » Who defines the right reasons for wanting things? You?
I hope you don't work in the civil service, or in any capacity where you get to approve applications or requests of any kind.
Anyway, he didn't say he wanted a relationship because everyone else had one and he felt left out.
cherrypicker555 wrote: » I will ignore the personal abuse.
cherrypicker555 wrote: » Go into a dept store, lots fit girls work there make eye contact with one and smile. Tell her you need to buy a pres for your mothers bithday, but not sure, dont pick perfume, clothes or make up to personal. Ask about bags, beach bags, scarfs, make up cases etc. Get her in a conversation, look confidendent/be chatty, select something,try keep her engadged for as long as poss picking/choosing, say to her I would love to buy you a glass of wine to thank you for your help, make eye contact, discretely slip her your card.woman love the combination of masculinity and romance, Who knows it may be the start of something if it works, nothing to lose and your mother gets a prez. Her brain will also be thinking, is that how he treats his girlfriend.
Dudess wrote: » Ok so... "Getting a girl" because all your mates are pulling and you don't want to feel left out is a great idea - if you're needy and insecure. Excuse me if I tell the OP to stick to his guns and hold out for a relationship that's independent of those kind of outside influences - seeing as that's what he wants.
Dudess wrote: » Shellyboo is pretty much saying what I've been trying to say...
