The Breast Feeding Support Thread

Neyite · 27-06-2013 8:26am

hollster2 wrote: »

Hi was wondering could someone help I breastfed my son until he was 5 months.

Hes 12 months now and I seen a small bit of breastmilk which has sent me into a panic because I never noticed it before. How long does it stay for after does anyone know.

Theres no way im pregnant ive got Implanon in and am just over a really heavy period im so confused.

Anyone else had this problem?

High prolactin levels can cause breast milk in non-pregnant and non-nursing mothers. It's a simple blood test and if its high you take a small tablet daily to fix it. I had high prolactin before I got pregnant.

hollster2 · 27-06-2013 9:24am

Neyite wrote: »

High prolactin levels can cause breast milk in non-pregnant and non-nursing mothers. It's a simple blood test and if its high you take a small tablet daily to fix it. I had high prolactin before I got pregnant.

Hi thanks for your reply ill do that.

MurdyWurdy · 27-06-2013 5:35pm

Blueskye wrote: »

How did you get on with lactation consultant Murdy?

I'll just have to prove GP wrong

It went well, she was mostly just reassuring us that we're doing a good job because baby is thriving and has lots of wet and dirty nappies. I get the inpression a lot of mums think they're not giving enough milk.

She went over some different positions and helped with my latch so now it's must less painful. She said my nipples are in a bit of a bad way (cracked and cut) which I couldn't tell by looking at which was interesting. She had lots if advice for that and for avoiding mastitis.

She had lots of other bits of advice but mostly it was just a confidence boost that we're doing things right. She gave me her number and said she could come back anytime which is good to know, especially as it is a free service through the public health centre. I definitely recommend to anyone if you need any help at all.

Was out of the house a good bit today. We had lunch out and I breastfed in the restaurant with a blanket over my shoulder. Am very pleased with how easy it was, I had no fear and just got on with it. Really made me realise how handy it is that I can breastfeed directly now

aknitter · 27-06-2013 10:27pm

Well donr murdy - great to be able to get out and not worry about bottles etc and the first time can be nerve wracking! I'm just over sore and cracked nipple (3rd child and 1st time with it) and sweet mary mother of God the pain, I swear by a nipple cream called multimam (boots have it) when you put it on you can actuallly feel it soothing the cuts!

skit490 · 27-06-2013 10:43pm

I got the multi maam pads and they were god send the first few weeks is d cream better than d lanolish cream. I'm bf 9 months now n just recently v sore. Not sure if its baba having teeth or her habit of scratching me while feeding. Or if I've mastitis. But not blocked so can't be mastitis ? ?

MurdyWurdy · 28-06-2013 6:29am

I have the multimam compresses and the lansinoh cream which are helping. Improving his position has helped too so they are healing.

Do you feel well in yourself skit490? The lactation consultant said with mastitis you'd feel generally fluey as well as have a sore, inflamed, hard red spot on your boob.

Maybe it is your baby's teeth or are you doing anything else different?

holding · 28-06-2013 8:47am

For soreness while feeding, I found a book called What to Expect when You're Breastfeeding extremely helpful. She has a position in there with a pillow that I've used ever since I read it about 6 weeks ago that's literally stopped me feeling any pain when he feeds, where it was VERY sore for me before. Still sore when he clamps down and draws his head back to try and see the tv now but that's another thing!

iguana · 28-06-2013 8:54am

I'm starting to feel a bit awkward feeding in public now as feedings seem to go a bit like this from Sam's perspective. I want boob, where's the boob. I'm faceplanting the boob, come on give me boob. Oh good here's the boob, I'll have a nice big drink, no wait hold on, I hear a sound, I need to sit up and look in the direction of the sound. Ok now I've looked at that, I'll lie back and get some more boob. OMG!!!!! THE BOOB IS GONE! I'm freaking out, freaking out. This is the worst thing to ever happen to me, where's the boob? Where's the BOOOOOB? Oh ok there it is. I'll take a nice big drink now, oh wait another sound, I must sit up and look at it......................... repeat ad nauseam.

aknitter · 28-06-2013 8:51pm

skit490, I haven't used the compresses - didn't need to as the balm was enough. I'm thankfully not sore anymore (apart from the almightly tug he gives when initially latching!)

hollster2 · 28-06-2013 9:55pm

iguana wrote: »

I'm starting to feel a bit awkward feeding in public now as feedings seem to go a bit like this from Sam's perspective. I want boob, where's the boob. I'm faceplanting the boob, come on give me boob. Oh good here's the boob, I'll have a nice big drink, no wait hold on, I hear a sound, I need to sit up and look in the direction of the sound. Ok now I've looked at that, I'll lie back and get some more boob. OMG!!!!! THE BOOB IS GONE! I'm freaking out, freaking out. This is the worst thing to ever happen to me, where's the boob? Where's the BOOOOOB? Oh ok there it is. I'll take a nice big drink now, oh wait another sound, I must sit up and look at it......................... repeat ad nauseam.

That is brilliant "look whos talking" lol

skit490 · 29-06-2013 1:19pm

Haha iguana exactly how it is for me expe t she is noisy drinker too, its with friends that its awkward, my little one wants to take a sip n then turn.n babble at them, won't b covered by scarf anymore !

hollster2 wrote: »

That is brilliant "look whos talking" lol

Not as sore but do have cough at min but don't ha e any lumps or particular sore spots. Used another product I got as present n seems to have helped

hollster2 · 29-06-2013 4:06pm

skit490 wrote: »

Haha iguana exactly how it is for me expe t she is noisy drinker too, its with friends that its awkward, my little one wants to take a sip n then turn.n babble at them, won't b covered by scarf anymore !

Not as sore but do have cough at min but don't ha e any lumps or particular sore spots. Used another product I got as present n seems to have helped

At the start I used to cover up decided its natura got over the fear of doing it in public so just ignored the looks id get so it was covered but baby not under a blanket anymore.

my son was like a little meercat popping his head up every few seconds.

aniascor · 30-06-2013 8:33pm

cyning wrote: »

In antenatal classes we were told no chocolate, grapes, oranges or berries etc. I detest milk I don't touch it and midwife in hospital told me I couldn't breastfeed if I didn't drink milk

That's insane. How can people give out advice like that and call themselves health professionals? Not to mention the" advice" from Blueskye's GP. This country just doesn't understand breastfeeding at all.

cyning · 30-06-2013 11:15pm

aniascor wrote: »

That's insane. How can people give out advice like that and call themselves health professionals? Not to mention the" advice" from Blueskye's GP. This country just doesn't understand breastfeeding at all.

I recently complained about crap breastfeeding advice I got in hosp.If it wasnt so long ago I'd complain about the antenatal classes and that particularly wonderful you need to drink milk to breastfeed. What's worse is I attempted while gagging until I got home and phn told me it was rubbish advice: I was so determined to breastfeed because of how sick I was while pregnant I nearly think I'd have believed them if they told me I'd need to stand on one leg in order to feed!!

I'm hoping to start weaning fully soon: C is almost a year (next Sunday). I always said a year and I'm happy but still feel slightly guilty that I'm weaning before she wants to. But (just for me) I cannot imagine feeding her much longer. Also have no idea what I'm going to do when teeth hurt/ she falls / having a cranky day because boob fixes EVERYTHING!

iguana · 30-06-2013 11:34pm

Grapes? Chocolate? I think the antenatal teacher got confused about the difference between, 'don't eat when breastfeeding' and 'don't feed to dogs.'

MurdyWurdy · 30-06-2013 11:39pm

I'm eating chocolate like it's going out if fashion at the moment, can't get enough of it. It doesn't seen to be causing any problems! The lactation consultant told me all you had to avoid was too much caffeine and alcohol. Everything else was fine and I was to eat healthily, drink and rest loads.

I love milk so drink a lot of it (when I was suffering with hyperemesis I think it kept me alive!). However, it seems ridiculous that you were told you needed to drink it to breastfeed. Why on earth would you need to drink the milk of another animal in order to produce enough milk of your own? It doesn't even make sense!

cyning · 30-06-2013 11:47pm

Ugh hyperemesis if I never heard that word again...

I think a lot of it is just a complete lack of training. And a bit of I know best going on too. And a year on I can categorically say you definitely do not under any circumstances need to drink milk to breastfeed. Particularly if it makes you gag

iguana · 30-06-2013 11:54pm

Well you know that cows need to drink elephant milk in order to produce milk, right? Their vegan grass diet would never let them produce enough enough milk to feed their own calves, never mind enough to support a multi-billion Euro dairy industry. Some people have no common sense.

Blueskye · 01-07-2013 5:40am

I hate milk so none being drank here!! As for chocolate, I've never eaten so much in my life. I think it's probably due to sheer exhaustion. Felt like I'd been hit by a bus yesterday I was so tired. Boys just fed and fed from 5 am and didn't settle til eve. I started panicking that I wasn't producing enough milk (that bloody GP's words came back to haunt me) but all seems to have settled again.

Oral Slang · 01-07-2013 9:42am

Fairie wrote: »

Hi all,
Has anyone breastfed while pregnant? Dd is almost 6 months and I'm 13 weeks pregnant boobs are already massive and fairly sore!! All part of pregnancy but I hope they aren't like this for the next 6 months!! Milk supply seems to have decreased as dd is feeding alot more the last couple of weeks. I would love to breastfeed dd as long as possible, has anyone breastfed both baby and newborn? Would love to hear how it went for others

Hi Fairie,

I'm still feeding my 20 month old & 20 weeks pregnant today. As she's a good bit older than your daughter, I only feed her going to bed & 1st thing in the morning & a very odd time during the night. I can't squeeze even a drop out though, so convinced that she's only comfort sucking & that I've completely dried up. Not intending to tandem feed, but no idea how I'll wean her as she's completely hooked.

Some mornings I can see she's not as bothered as she would be going to bed, so maybe I'll try start cutting that out some mornings & go from there. I know a good few girls that are feeding 2 & they think it's great.

If you are interested in feeding both of them or even want some advice throughout pregnancy while breastfeeding, there's a closed facebook page called: feeding two babies rocks!!! (Tandem BFing/Bfing through Pregnancy Ireland). Must join myself, but only realised it's for BFing through pregnancy as well as Tandemfeeding.

Oral Slang · 01-07-2013 9:44am

Blueskye wrote: »

Hi everyone. I'm currently breastfeeding twins. 6 weeks today. I've been giving one bottle formula at night since being in hospital and its saved me really. I get a few hrs sleep while someone else does a feed. But I'd love to drop it and use expressed milk instead. I've rented a pump for the month to see how I go. Where do I start? Is morning best time to pump? Anything I need to consider?

Thanks

Hi Blueskye, if you aren't a member, there's a closed facebook group called Breastfeeding Twins in Ireland if you fancied joining.

MurdyWurdy · 01-07-2013 10:06am

Blueskye wrote: »

I hate milk so none being drank here!! As for chocolate, I've never eaten so much in my life. I think it's probably due to sheer exhaustion. Felt like I'd been hit by a bus yesterday I was so tired. Boys just fed and fed from 5 am and didn't settle til eve. I started panicking that I wasn't producing enough milk (that bloody GP's words came back to haunt me) but all seems to have settled again.

Glad I'm not the only one being a chocolate fiend! I think you're right - it's tiredness and the need for sugar. I'm finding feeding one tough enough, especially when you have days you feel like you're feeding constantly so I take my hat off to you doing it with twins!

I was reading up on cluster feeding (had a bad night with it the other night!) and it said mums often think it means they don't have enough milk but it doesn't mean that at all, it's just a feeding pattern they do every so often. As long as they have plenty of wet/dirty nappies it's fine. Sounds like you're doing a great job anyway!

My little man is really loving the breast feeding. My hubby gave him a bottle of expressed milk at 2am to give me a break but then couldn't get him to settle afterwards. Eventually he woke me up and I breastfed him for 5 minutes and that was him put asleep. He didn't even take much milk so it was only comfort. Is that a bad thing or not? Not sure if it is a bad habit - he's only 2 weeks old so I know he needs the comfort. He won't take a soother.

Oral Slang · 01-07-2013 10:12am

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

Glad I'm not the only one being a chocolate fiend! I think you're right - it's tiredness and the need for sugar. I'm finding feeding one tough enough, especially when you have days you feel like you're feeding constantly so I take my hat off to you doing it with twins!

I was reading up on cluster feeding (had a bad night with it the other night!) and it said mums often think it means they don't have enough milk but it doesn't mean that at all, it's just a feeding pattern they do every so often. As long as they have plenty of wet/dirty nappies it's fine. Sounds like you're doing a great job anyway!

My little man is really loving the breast feeding. My hubby gave him a bottle of expressed milk at 2am to give me a break but then couldn't get him to settle afterwards. Eventually he woke me up and I breastfed him for 5 minutes and that was him put asleep. He didn't even take much milk so it was only comfort. Is that a bad thing or not? Not sure if it is a bad habit - he's only 2 weeks old so I know he needs the comfort. He won't take a soother.

No bad habits at 2 weeks or for a good while yet. That's one of the reasons I couldn't be bothered expressing a bottle & letting my other half do some nights. Sleep happens so quick on the boob, why bother with anything else when it works so well. Can't wait to have those types of feeds again when the baby arrives in a few months.

I have a 20 month old who likes to tweak & pinch one nipple while feeding on the other. As I said above I don't think there's any milk left, so it can be painful with her dry sucking anyway without the pinching. Oh the joys of feeding a toddler

MurdyWurdy · 01-07-2013 10:16am

Yeah, hubby and I were discussing it just now. Why have him up for 1-1.5 hours if I can change, feed him and get him back down in 30 minutes?

I actually like that I'm the one that can comfort him, it's a lovely feeling

Oral Slang · 01-07-2013 10:28am

Yeah, your husband could do things like if the baby is awake later in the evening, let you nip up to bed early & bring the baby into you for a feed, likewise in the mornings - after the baby is fed & if it's not ready for sleep, bring him downstairs & let you lie on til another feed is needed (on days he's not working obviously). So much your other half can do, but I personally always liked to breastfeed only when I was about. I did express as she got older if I needed to go out somewhere & couldn't bring her, but didn't start that until she was a good bit older.

How Strange · 01-07-2013 10:46am

Murdywurdy there are absolutely no bad habits with babies. It makes me so sad that we've been conditioned to think like this.

Breastmilk at night time contains high levels of hormones which help the baby sleep. There's also the wonderful comfort that they get from being so close to you.

We went out one night last week and my mother in law looked after A. I'd given her more than enough expressed milk for the 3 hours. A took it all but wouldn't settle. She was asleep within minutes once I fed her.

I do the night feeds so my husband gets his sleep. Sometimes I hate him for it

but it's just quicker and easier that way. I stopped doing night time nappy changes around 4 weeks so the night feeding is very quick now. I wake up, change sides and fall back asleep. When we just had one baby my husband would take him in the mornings at the weekends and let me sleep on. Now that we have two his job is to get up with our son if he wakes during the night.

Oral Slang · 01-07-2013 11:03am

How Strange, the same here. Anytime I went out & left my other half with expressed milk for the baby, he'd feed her everything I had in the fridge, even if it was far too much. She'd drink it all & still not fall asleep. He just wouldn't believe me when I said that breastfed babies don't know when they're full & presume if she drank it then she must be hungry. I'd come home & latch her on & she'd be asleep in seconds. Still happens sometimes now. We went to the cinema about 2 months ago & I left my brother & his partner babysitting. She was up bouncing on the bed & singing when I came home (they didn't turn off the lights, so no wonder she couldn't sleep). I sent them all downstairs & within 5 mins she was conked. That's what I'll miss when I do eventually wean her - no magic boob anymore.

Blueskye · 01-07-2013 12:05pm

I'm a member of that group thanks Oral Slang.

We had 2 much more settled babies last night thank god, but the day was tough. we had a friend who is a photographer come over to take photos of the boys but they were so cranky and just wanted to feed and feed so we had to abandon it. I was exhausted. I find it pretty stressful especially when trying to feed the two together and they get frustrated and want more and more. But at least it passes. But when you're tired and emotional with two frustrated babies it's so easy to start doubting yourself.

I have babies at night so OH can sleep next door. I only call him if a baby is very unsettled and I'm feeding the other. We don't change nappies at night either, just feed and sleep. It's amazing how quick they'll fall asleep from breastfeeding. I was feeding boys together on their pillow this morn and we all had a lovely cosy sleep after. I move them off the pillow at night but don't move them in the morn as it wakes them. They love the closeness and heat.

dublinlady · 01-07-2013 12:44pm

I'm a bit more selfish.... I suffer from insomnia so can only fall asleep once really in the night - so my hubbie gives an expressed bottle at 11ish & settles her then pops her in the Moses basket beside me - ill have been in bed since about 10 or 10.30 ! I then feed her at 4 ish and don't usually get back asleep but just cuddle and rest while she dozes!
I also express milk during day and depending if I have enough or not sometimes add couple oz formula to a bottle which I give at 4am so I don't feed her off the breast then - that is so that I have no supply at night so I can have a night off!!! She also takes it much quicker fir me that way and settles well - I'd get her back down within 45 mins that way whereas she spends 1&1/2 hrs awake if I breast feed directly!
It's also the feed in hoping will drop first - when she goes 11/12 til 5/6 ill feed her directly.
Just wanted to give a perspective of a different way if breast feeding! She only gets max 2oz formula a day so I do consider her to be exclusively breast fed regardless - I feed her 6/7 times a day for 30-60 mins each time and express the rest! So e nights I do the 10.30pm feed if oh is too tired and I'm not.

She's taken to stopping mid feed to smile up at me

adorable! 7 weeks tom - loving feeding her

holding · 01-07-2013 2:16pm

Hi girls, just checking in. It's all going really well for us, 12 weeks in now. I read that at this stage he should be getting more efficient at feeding times, but my little guy is on the boob for an hour when he feeds. He takes himself off after about half an hour, I burp him and offer him more, and he goes back on for a half an hour, before taking himself off again and refusing any more. Is this okay? Should I be not offering more? Just want to make sure I'm doing it all right

Oral Slang · 01-07-2013 2:52pm

My little one was never really an efficient feeder, always took ages. Even now at 20 months, she'd latch on all day if she could.
I reckon when no. 2 comes along though, baby will need to be a more efficient feeder, as I won't have the same amount of time to sit down & just let him/her feed & feed, with an energetic 2 year old to entertain.

Nead21 · 01-07-2013 3:02pm

Probably depends on the baby Holding. Sometimes by little man will feed for an hour, sometimes 15 minutes very efficiently...depends on how lazy he's being!! He's 10weeks old.

Sometimes i worry i'm not doing it right anymore either but he's happy in between feeds, putting on weight and has plenty of nappies....it's so nerve wrecking being a first time mum though!

How Strange · 01-07-2013 3:14pm

OMG DL I can only fantasize about sleeping from 10-4 and there's no way this guzzler will be dropping any feeds anytime soon. She has one stretch of 4 hours and then it's every 2 hours.

Holding is your little lad gaining weight and got lots of wet and dirty nappies?

Maybe watch him feeding and see if he stops actually feeding after a while. At that point try breast compressions and see if it makes a difference.

How Strange · 01-07-2013 3:16pm

Blueskye my friend breastfed her twins for over a year and I was always in awe of her. Best of luck with it.

dublinlady · 01-07-2013 8:21pm

How Strange wrote: »

OMG DL I can only fantasize about sleeping from 10-4 and there's no way this guzzler will be dropping any feeds anytime soon. She has one stretch of 4 hours and then it's every 2 hours.

Holding is your little lad gaining weight and got lots of wet and dirty nappies?

Maybe watch him feeding and see if he stops actually feeding after a while. At that point try breast compressions and see if it makes a difference.

She has her feed at 11 and sleep from 12-4 ish- so it's not that different - I just choose to get himself to give the expressed fir the 11 so I get sleep! With the 16 months old and her st 7 weeks I need my sleep!!!! With the break I'm happy fun mum all day - without it I'm sad cranky mum!! So it's a mo brainer for me in my situation and my inability to be chirpy without kip

Yeah my lady takes forever to feed too! An hr in total usually! I only got to 14 weeks with my first so no idea if she would have gotten more efficient !!!

Blueskye · 04-07-2013 9:40pm

Apologies in advance but I need somewhere to let off steam. Mother in law took babies for a walk to 'give me a break' (actually show them off to relatives). I've told her repeatedly they are feeding every 1.5 hours at the mo, growth spurt etc, so just take them for 1 hour. I have stopped her taking them for walks for a while cos she wouldn't respect my request to bring them back on time (she took them for 3 hour walk at 2 weeks old, both roaring crying on return, hormonal me in bits). I've let her walk them again only in the last week limiting it to one hour and it was going fine.

Then again today she disappeared for 2.5 hours, almost 3 hours. One little guy had clearly been roaring crying for some time and both were starved when they got back. She then proceeds to tell me I'm killing myself bf and should give formula in afternoon. I explained it will affect my supply, I choose not to etc...'give them hungry milk, get them into a routine'... .sorry for rant but they are only 7 weeks old. Apparently she bf her children but I'm not sure I believe her. She doesn't seem to get it at all. She wants to take babies overnight and obviously can't because I'm feeding them.

Oh completely useless in backing me up so it has me so mad.

Now I am exhausted after 3 v tough nights but formula won't solve that.

Between the crap GP and her just ugh!!! Luckily my parents are v supportive.

dublinlady · 04-07-2013 9:48pm

Oh bluesky u poor thing - what a wagon! I can only imagine how u felt watching the clock whilst sge was out! It's so unhelpful & stressful to do that! I had the very same issue with my inlaws recently but it was my toddler and the worst that could happen was she was stroppy for the whole evening cos she was out of routine & too hungry to eat ( she's fussy at best of times!) but to do that when they are so young is just mean! Good intentions are fine but when breast feeding they seem to often be useless..!

Nead21 · 04-07-2013 10:29pm

Oh Blueskye you poor thing. You've every right to be upset. I would be furious. My mother in law was put out as she couldnt take my little man overnight and said that to me "you re the problem" as in we couldnt have a night out as i am bf. Unbelieveably hurtful.

Very cheeky and undermining not to respect your wishes and have them back at a certain time. You are their mother after all.

*hugs*

MintyDoris · 04-07-2013 10:31pm

Blueskye wrote: »

Apologies in advance but I need somewhere to let off steam. Mother in law took babies for a walk to 'give me a break' (actually show them off to relatives). I've told her repeatedly they are feeding every 1.5 hours at the mo, growth spurt etc, so just take them for 1 hour. I have stopped her taking them for walks for a while cos she wouldn't respect my request to bring them back on time (she took them for 3 hour walk at 2 weeks old, both roaring crying on return, hormonal me in bits). I've let her walk them again only in the last week limiting it to one hour and it was going fine.

Then again today she disappeared for 2.5 hours, almost 3 hours. One little guy had clearly been roaring crying for some time and both were starved when they got back. She then proceeds to tell me I'm killing myself bf and should give formula in afternoon. I explained it will affect my supply, I choose not to etc...'give them hungry milk, get them into a routine'... .sorry for rant but they are only 7 weeks old. Apparently she bf her children but I'm not sure I believe her. She doesn't seem to get it at all. She wants to take babies overnight and obviously can't because I'm feeding them.

Oh completely useless in backing me up so it has me so mad.

Now I am exhausted after 3 v tough nights but formula won't solve that.

Between the crap GP and her just ugh!!! Luckily my parents are v supportive.

I don't post here very often but I just wanted to send you some hugs. That's a terribly disrespectful thing for her to do. You poor love, you must have been very upset x

Neyite · 04-07-2013 11:39pm

Blueskye, she is unbelievealby disrespectful!

Thankfully I didnt encounter anyone trying to take my newborn overnight. I dont get that - they are newborns, not a bloody dvd! I would be double wary of anyone who wanted to have my child without me overnight - I'd assume that they want to do things "their" way without interference from me, and I've no interest in giving my child to mind for an extended length of time to someone who disregarded my wishes.

Neither granny had any experience of breasfeeding when I was breastfeeding. MIL did express doubt to my SIL that baby was getting enough, but was happy enough when it was explained to her and nothing was ever said to me. My mother never breastfed but was hugely supportive and when I would from time to time tell her an interesting BF fact she came to realise that its tailor made for baby and is a huge fan of BF'ing mammies now.

But you do, when the dust has settled, let your OH know that he has to fully back you to his mother - he is the other parent and what you both decide for your family is a joint decision. If she knows she is up against two of you she might be less likely to step out of line.

sunshiner · 04-07-2013 11:57pm

jaysus blueskye thats unreal i can only imagine your frustration and hurt. Not to mind how anxious and worried you must have been. Well at least you have us for support.

Blueskye · 05-07-2013 12:11am

Thanks so much everyone. Honestly your replies mean a lot. It's a bit of a lonely fight at the mo. At times I'm wondering am I over reacting but I know I'm not.

That is exactly it Neyite, she wants to do things her way and that's why she wants to have them overnight or for extended periods without me. She tells a 'funny story' about putting whiskey or brandy (cant remember which) on her nephews gums when teething. And was surprised when his parents were v upset when they found out.

But it's sold as helping me. But she could help by preparing meals or cleaning the house but she doesn't want to do that.

Anyway tomorrow is another day. Once I get a bit of sleep I'll be well able for her again.

Thanks again everyone

How Strange · 05-07-2013 6:22am

Ah Blueskye that's so disrespectful of her. I know how iour body actually aches when you're separated from your baby/ies when breastfeeding. I think you tint understand that if you haven't breastfed. Then there's the engorgement and the pumping. It's just not worth it.

You're doing such an incredible thing for your babies by breastfeeding them. Breastfeeding one newborn is extremely hard work so feeding two is an immense achievement. You need to chat to your OH and explain that he needs to be your backup at the moment and intervene with his mother so you're not under pressure. You need support now not hassle.

Your MIL may mean well but she needs to back off and let you do what you have to at this early stage. In a couple of months she can take them off for 3 hours and you'll be glad of the rest but right now you're nursing two newborns.

aknitter · 05-07-2013 10:22am

Blueskye, I can't believe your MIL, and I though I had the prize winning hog in that regard! As someone else said I don't understand why she wants them over night - at 7 weeks old they are a lot of hard work. She sounds like a typical wagon to her Daughter in law.
I'd be refusing her to take them at all after keeping them out and starving them. Actually tell her this, "Sorry but no, the last time you took them they came back half starved and you might think thats good for your grandsons but its not good enough for my sons"
Also have a word with OH and make him stand up to her, the only way you'll survive being a parent to your children and to other people is if you have a united front (what goes on behind it is your business). I had my 14 year old complain recently that its very hard to get around us because of this!
Shes a wagon...

wolfpawnat · 05-07-2013 11:08am

too right. a united front is very important whatever the situation. I know your OH is probably tired and men do have a slump in testosterone after a baby (and you have double trouble) but he needs to help you with this. I felt terrible stress with one, you have 2!!!

My MIL is already making dirty comments and baby isn't even here, but I am better prepared this time, I won't let her get to me

Getting a new pump today in dunnes in prep, hoping to not need it very often, but handy to have none the less

MurdyWurdy · 05-07-2013 11:40am

Wow Blueskye, that's crazy! Have you talked to your OH about it yet? Do you think you'd be able to pump at all to have emergency milk to take with get or would that only encourage her? Although it is sad that my MIL passed away when my husband was young reading threads on here does make me greatful I don't have to deal with any crap! My aunt in law is coming to visit from South Africa in 2 weeks though. She's strong willed so that should be interesting.

I'm so exhausted today and fed up so just felt like some support. My LO woke up at 3.15 this morning which is grand, that's normal but after a big feed he just wouldn't go back asleep, it took until 7 to get him down. Of course he was happy to sleep on me! He was up again at 8am and I did manage to get an hour or two after that but feeling low today. I'm just feeding him constantly.

None of my friends have babies and I'm having trouble even getting responses from them when I try and arrange to see them. I'm already feeling isolated and hubby isn't even back to work until Monday. I'm going to a breastfeeding support group meeting on Tues so hopefully I'll meet some nice people there.

wolfpawnat · 05-07-2013 11:58am

It is so hard when you are the first of a group having a child in general, then add to the mix bf/expressing. I remember feeling so alone with my guy.

Nead21 · 05-07-2013 12:13pm

How old is your baby Murdy? I remember feeling this way during my little man's 3week growth spurt....isolated and lonely. It was so much hassle to leave the house with the constant feeding.

When he was 4weeks i started a baby massage class and it made a world of difference to be able to talk to other mums and know they are going through the same thing and having the same feelings. We now meet up regularly and do mum and baby yoga together :-)

If your friends dont have children its very hard for them to understand so its important to surround yourself with people who do.

Best of luck :-)

Blueskye · 05-07-2013 12:18pm

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

Wow Blueskye, that's crazy! Have you talked to your OH about it yet? Do you think you'd be able to pump at all to have emergency milk to take with get or would that only encourage her? Although it is sad that my MIL passed away when my husband was young reading threads on here does make me greatful I don't have to deal with any crap! My aunt in law is coming to visit from South Africa in 2 weeks though. She's strong willed so that should be interesting.

I'm so exhausted today and fed up so just felt like some support. My LO woke up at 3.15 this morning which is grand, that's normal but after a big feed he just wouldn't go back asleep, it took until 7 to get him down. Of course he was happy to sleep on me! He was up again at 8am and I did manage to get an hour or two after that but feeling low today. I'm just feeding him constantly.

None of my friends have babies and I'm having trouble even getting responses from them when I try and arrange to see them. I'm already feeling isolated and hubby isn't even back to work until Monday. I'm going to a breastfeeding support group meeting on Tues so hopefully I'll meet some nice people there.

That's tough Murdy. Lack of sleep is really hard. I had my two sleep on the feeding pillow on me last night. Each time I put them in cot they woke again so I just gave in and managed to sleep with them on me.

I have spoken and pleaded with partner to back me re his mother. He says he will and then does nothing. She has caused problems from when I was admitted to hospital for a week a few weeks before boys were born. I asked him again this morning and he said he'll speak to her. It's going to be an ongoing issue with her. I'll just need to get a bit more vocal and strong with her I think.

I'd love to pump and even rented a pump but I just can't find the time to express. If I'm not feeding I'm trying to get sleep or a quick shower or bite to eat. I literally have no free time.

The isolation is hard too. A few of my friends have babies and bf and had said they'd be over to help out etc but I haven't seen them yet and boys are 8 weeks on Tues. I'm just so lucky with my parents help, I'd never have managed without them. They've been so supportive and helpful. The bf support group is a good idea. I'd love to go to one but haven't been organised enough yet to get us all out the door on time. Let us know how it goes.

MurdyWurdy · 05-07-2013 12:44pm

I'm so greatful for my parents too! If it wasn't for them I'd be all alone. My little man is 3 weeks on Monday so I guess it is a growth spurt. I think it's all just on top of me. I feel really guilty too because until this time last year we lived overseas and had a fantastic bunch of friends, who we saw all the time. I've spoken to some of them more since I gave birth then my friends down the road! It was me that wanted to move home to have babies, my husband isn't Irish and he's completely isolated now because we're away from his friends and family. I guess I'm just disappointed in people. When I was pregnant it wasn't so bad because I was so Ill and never felt like going anywhere but it's so noticeable now! Glad to hear that some of you felt better when you met other mums. I moved to a new country and made a great group of friends so I'm sure I can do it again! Thanks for the support

Blueskye - getting time to pump is hard! It's my wedding anniversary this weekend and my mum is babysitting for us so we can go out to dinner. Have to find time to express before then but it's hard timing it with his feeds. I can't imagine it with two! How did you find sleeping with them on the pillow? I'm tempted to do that sometimes but it scares me too! Fingers crossed your OH can sort something out with your MIL!

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