A 24 story, continue it on...

Chillwithcian · 25-03-2007 12:13pm

''Give us a shag before Nina kills me''

Kojak · 25-03-2007 6:27pm

was Chloe's respone, but Wayne Palmer didn't understand what Chloe was on about.

He thought that she...

Jesus Wept · 25-03-2007 9:23pm

...was trying to create interest in Nina

Wayne shoots Nina in the head, Nina dies, never to be seen again, ever.

Wayne declares war on France..

Tar.Aldarion · 26-03-2007 1:16pm

France....fights back. America explodes...

Jesus Wept · 26-03-2007 1:21pm

..with inane chants of

USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!USA!

USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!
USA!

...

Kojak · 26-03-2007 1:30pm

This made Wayne Palmer very mad, as he was secretly a ....

Tar.Aldarion · 26-03-2007 1:37pm

...french bomb...

Mossy Monk · 26-03-2007 1:39pm

loving man whore who was secretly on a mission to ...

Jesus Wept · 26-03-2007 4:54pm

... replace american culture with french..

Haven't a Clue · 26-03-2007 4:59pm

...and in doing so, changed the name of freedom fries back to "les frites des freedoms".

Upon hearing these changes, Jack decided enough was enough and...

Jesus Wept · 26-03-2007 5:02pm

..changed his name to Jacque Baúér (now proncounced bau-air)

Mossy Monk · 26-03-2007 5:38pm

Monsieur Baúér immediately called upon a hapless...

whosedaddy? · 26-03-2007 5:39pm

and applied for the Foreign Legion thinking this way he could infiltrate the....

Declan A Walsh · 26-03-2007 8:28pm

undergarments of Chloe.

Jack quickly wakes up from this dream - it was all a big dream in the shower. Chloe was in CTU frowning as usual, Jack never joined rge Foreign Legion, Wayne Palmer was not injured and that nightmarish trip on the M50 never happened.

But the following takes place between 19:00 and 20:00 and is not a dream.
Martha Logan is standing outside Jack's door and is mumbling something about Charles. She has a meat cleaver in her hand and throw's it at Jack's...

Mossy Monk · 26-03-2007 8:46pm

pda. "you will never find the missing gold Bauer" she shrieked.

Chillwithcian · 26-03-2007 9:35pm

[7 minute ad break]

Jack then goes to bertie ahearn to interogate him regarding the french connection....''Now you are going to listen to me, you son of a biotch....

Kojak · 26-03-2007 10:21pm

while bertie asks jack "would you care for a pint of the black stuff with me and Michael McDowell??"

Jack pauses, gathers his thoughts and responds.....

Jesus Wept · 26-03-2007 10:25pm

WHAT IS THIS 'BLACK STUFF' YOU SPEAK OF, ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME, DO YOU HAVE BIOLOGAL CAPABILITIES

*jack begins to throttle Bertie...

DO
YOU
HAVE
BIOLOGICAL
CAPABLITIES
?????????????

Kojak · 26-03-2007 11:10pm

"Well, I done biology for the Leaving" was bertie's response.

Jack recieves a call on his mobile....

kaimera · 26-03-2007 11:15pm

from the Tánaiste slash Minister for Justice warning Jack to stop or else...

Chillwithcian · 27-03-2007 9:30am

Jack its Wayne palmer, bertie aherns about to be killing you softly with his song, hes going to be strumming your face with his fingers, singing your life with his words, killing you softly with his sooooooooooooooooooonnngg... sure enough bertie kiced it up!

whosedaddy? · 27-03-2007 11:44am

And Cecelia started reading some chapters from her new book "A Place Called Here"...

Two years in Chinese prisons had hardened him, but he still wasn't prepared for these horrific interrogation tactics.
He crouched in the corner, broke into tears and weeped "BILL, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE..."

Kojak · 27-03-2007 12:26pm

Please , send me back to the Chinese"

Jack had never before endured such torture, and the idea of listening to Celia discuss her up-coming television appearance was enough to send Jack over the edge.

He suddenly....

Mossy Monk · 27-03-2007 12:54pm

.. went mental and asked Chloe for a ...

kaimera · 27-03-2007 1:35pm

mint corneto even tho he doesn't like...

Jesus Wept · 27-03-2007 1:42pm

...mint corneto's, but he can't get a proper '3-in-1' (rice,chips,curry sauce) since leaving chinese soil....

Kojak · 27-03-2007 3:13pm

so he has stuck to Yorkie bars.

*tick, tick, tick*

Meanwhile, Buchanan talks to his "wife" about re-decorating CTU. "What do you think we should do with the old curtains".

Karen replies.....

Dave · 27-03-2007 3:18pm

"Take them to holding, we'll interrogate them there, I have a feeling they've been working against the best interests of CTU, damn curtains!"

Jack is called in to interrogate them...

Kojak · 27-03-2007 3:22pm

"Where are the terrorists hiding the Sentox nerve gas??", asks Jack.

The curtains suddenly begin to speak.....

whosedaddy? · 27-03-2007 4:00pm

all very nervously at first, but then then the older man finally admits that he is Brian Curtain - the disgraced judge and that he is hiding a secret stash of ....

Sparky · 27-03-2007 7:48pm

naked kim pictures by which were then stolen by...

whosedaddy? · 27-03-2007 8:15pm

Spanky-s and

Haven't a Clue · 27-03-2007 9:48pm

...David Palmer.

"YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH!", shouted Jack, before beating the holy bejesus out of Curtain.

Meanwhile, Bill goes out to grap a quick mug of tae and quickly returns to see the fight.

After fierce interrogation, Curtain finally admits...

Kojak · 27-03-2007 10:39pm

that he sold pictures of Kim to the Chinese in exchange for some dope.

Chloe suddenly bursts into the interrogation room with some startling information...

Sparky · 28-03-2007 9:42am

You dont have the right pictures...

whosedaddy? · 28-03-2007 10:25am

I just finished the advanced complex ubergeek next-generation decryption algorithm to clean up the images and they were pictures of Edgar.

YOUSONOFABITCH - Jack's yells at.....

L31mr0d · 28-03-2007 10:43am

...the top of his voice, he points his gun at Curtain and unloads an entire clip, miraculously not a single bullet has injured him. Mysteriously though the news streams in from Chloe that the band Westlife has been killed by multiple gunshot wounds some 10 miles away.

Jack Bauer picks up his pump action shotgun and...

Dave · 28-03-2007 12:31pm

dresses it up in a mini skirt and low cut top.

"Do you come here often?" Asks Jack.

"Talk to me Dammit!"

Chloe interrupts...

whosedaddy? · 28-03-2007 12:59pm

...Jack playing SIMLIFE CTU v3 as she has an urgent phone call from Audrey.

Jack puts down the PS3 controller and takes...

Kojak · 28-03-2007 3:28pm

a five minute toilet break

*tick, tick, tick*

Meanwhile, Nadia is becoming very hot and bothered.

She...

Dave · 28-03-2007 3:51pm

never realised shotguns could look so sexy when dressed up.

She starts to fantasise...

Tar.Aldarion · 28-03-2007 3:52pm

about herself because...

Kojak · 28-03-2007 9:44pm

voices in her head began to tell her to use the shotgun. :eek:

Buchanan, using his cold, hard logic, deduces that something is wrong and has Nadia sectioned under the mental health act 2001.

As this is happeneing, Morris is talking sh1te as usual.

he says to Milo.....

Sparky · 28-03-2007 9:45pm

will ya lash her one for me....

kaimera · 28-03-2007 9:50pm

to which Milo replies, "THERE'S NO TIME"...

Sparky · 28-03-2007 10:02pm

LIKE THE PRESENT.

Milo then proceeds to lob one in until Milos brother eh... Mile, arrives on the scene....

Elmo · 28-03-2007 10:13pm

Paramedic: Mile has internal bleeding Jack, we have to get him to a hospital

Woman from Airplane gets a cameo: Why? What is it?

Jack: A big building with nurses and doctors in it, but that not important right now. I need mile to hold on

Paramedic: But jack you have internal bleeding, we must get you to a hospital

Jack: Damn it, with in the hour, I promise just trust me. Now pick up the phone Mile and tell .........

Sparky · 28-03-2007 10:24pm

Elmo to change his signature...

Kojak · 29-03-2007 11:55am

as it was giving the terrosists a means to invade west LA.

Jack then realises that Mile was once a member of the Islamic terrosists and begins to interrogate him, despite the fact that Mile is blleding to death.

Jack shouts......

whosedaddy? · 29-03-2007 12:51pm

Judean People's Front? We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front. Cawk.

A 24 story, continue it on...

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