Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

greenfrogs · 07-09-2015 12:11am

scrimshanker wrote: »

I think the funniest thing in my life is that I could put myself in harm's way intentionally and nothing would happen. I could walk the M50 without getting a scratch on me. I could wander around sheriff Street with headphones on and not a damned thing would happen.

This reminds of a documentary called 'Madness in the fast lane' for some reason. It's so good and definitely worth a watch.

Best of luck for the week. Don't forget to use this forum if you need some support.

scrimshanker · 07-09-2015 12:15am

Thanks, I really am trying not to be too hard on myself tonight. Lots of stuff I haven't done. Spent the day binging on junk food. Feeling very unprepared for work tomorrow.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-09-2015 12:17am

scrimshanker wrote: »

Thanks, I really am trying not to be too hard on myself tonight. Lots of stuff I haven't done. Spent the day binging on junk food. Feeling very unprepared for work tomorrow.

Hopefully the first few days will be easy enough, like just to ease you back into the role.

scrimshanker · 07-09-2015 12:19am

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Hopefully the first few days will be easy enough, like just to ease you back into the role.

Ah not going to be the case! I've a deadline looming already!

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-09-2015 12:22am

scrimshanker wrote: »

Ah not going to be the case! I've a deadline looming already!

I'm sure you'll be able for it. If you need to take a few minutes to yourself throughout the day, there's no shame in that. We all have to take some time like that.

Best of luck, Scrim. We'll all be thinking of you and sending good vibes. x

greenfrogs · 07-09-2015 12:22am

scrimshanker wrote: »

Thanks, I really am trying not to be too hard on myself tonight. Lots of stuff I haven't done. Spent the day binging on junk food. Feeling very unprepared for work tomorrow.

That's the best frame of mind to be in. We can be our own worst critics at times. The fact that you are going back to an old workplace shows they think you are a good employee.

Gremlinertia · 07-09-2015 12:35am

Scrim, a few minutes breather during the day will help, it's not time wasted if it helps you collect yourself.. I've often resorted to a few moments in a toilet cubicle as it's one place you won't be bothered.. Take care..

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-09-2015 12:50am

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Scrim, a few minutes breather during the day will help, it's not time wasted if it helps you collect yourself.. I've often resorted to a few moments in a toilet cubicle as it's one place you won't be bothered.. Take care..

I do it myself a good few times a week too. It can really make a huge difference.

heyday30 · 07-09-2015 1:16am

Major food binge. I fcuking hate myself. Filth

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-09-2015 1:17am

heyday30 wrote: »

Major food binge. I fcuking hate myself. Filth

You're the furthest thing from filth, H.

heyday30 · 07-09-2015 1:22am

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

You're the furthest thing from filth, H.

Hard to have control sometimes.

Gremlinertia · 07-09-2015 1:26am

heyday30 wrote: »

Hard to have control sometimes.

It really is.. I vary from knowing what I'm doing and doing it anyway to mindlessly chomping through something completely without noticing.. Hugs for you Heyday..

heyday30 · 07-09-2015 1:32am

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It really is.. I vary from knowing what I'm doing and doing it anyway to mindlessly chomping through something completely without noticing.. Hugs for you Heyday..

Trying to fill a void I guess. Mindless eating. That's it no more junk in the house I can't afford to be putting on more weight.

Thanks grem n hugo x

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-09-2015 1:34am

heyday30 wrote: »

Trying to fill a void I guess. Mindless eating. That's it no more junk in the house I can't afford to be putting on more weight.

Thanks grem n hugo x

Night pet. x

themissymoo · 07-09-2015 1:35am

heyday30 wrote: »

Major food binge.

I did the same thing. The look of disgust on Mam's face as she saw me eating my second muffin of the day! But you know, it happens. Tomorrow is a new day and you'll have another chance.

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-09-2015 1:38am

themissymoo wrote: »

I did the same thing. The look of disgust on Mam's face as she saw me eating my second muffin of the day! But you know, it happens. Tomorrow is a new day and you'll have another chance.

Your mam wouldn't want to see what I ate this weekend!

mg1982 · 07-09-2015 2:19am

heyday30 wrote: »

Major food binge. I fcuking hate myself. Filth[/QUOTE

Dont beat yourself up over it H. I often gorge on chocolate or ice cream if im feeling bad. Its a natural thing.

heyday30 · 07-09-2015 2:30am

mg1982 wrote: »

heyday30 wrote: »

Major food binge. I fcuking hate myself. Filth[/QUOTE

Dont beat yourself up over it H. I often gorge on chocolate or ice cream if im feeling bad. Its a natural thing.

True mg
. I'm over it now. Just feeling the effects Of the belly ache. ****e food n crohns don't mix Unfortunately.

Thanks friends x

scrimshanker · 07-09-2015 5:45am

I'm disgusted, been sleeping like mad the last while. First night I need decent sleep? Nope. Wide awake.

Gremlinertia · 07-09-2015 5:54am

Try not to beat yourself up too much Scrim, nerves have a part to play, pretty much everyone faces a few butterflies. A few days to get your rhythm..

scrimshanker · 07-09-2015 9:47am

I feel like I'm awake too early. Knackered already and I haven't even started. I can't see this "no caffeine after lunch " thing working out so well... Want to be back in my bed..

Joya · 07-09-2015 10:00am

heyday30 wrote: »

Major food binge. I fcuking hate myself. Filth

really sorry to hear that, if it makes it easier for you you're not alone in this.. among other things I happen to have this too..
my therapist sent me to OA meetings its good to hear how other people cope..
have bulimic eating disorder meaning going few kilos up and down in a very short period of time but two years ago with my depression it went over the moon
im managing it now more or less.. meaning phases of more then phases of less.. sometimes there's nothing i can do about it but wait for the coin to turn...

veganrun · 07-09-2015 1:12pm

Still having a few issues with anxiety. Its definitely not as bad as it was, I'm not really getting the random anxiety anymore. There are still situations which can trigger it so I'm not sure if I need to go from 20 to 30mg per day.

I was going to go see the GP next week to check in but she is off so I'm having a phone consultation with her this week instead. She is only in this Thursday and my prescription runs out next week so I didn't have much option. Am slightly nervous about it.

Was anxious this am (usual Monday morning) but I did something new. I realised I would have had to go travelling with work this time next week had I not agreed with them otherwise. So I just imagined how anxious I would have been if I had to do that and the relief that I don't. It helped.

greenfrogs · 07-09-2015 1:26pm

Eugh the situation from yesterday is still running through my mind. I have dbt tomorrow so at least I can discuss it there.

scrimshanker · 07-09-2015 1:58pm

It's like I never left work!

Euphoria Intensifies · 07-09-2015 2:14pm

scrimshanker wrote:

It's like I never left work!

Is that good or bad?

scrimshanker · 07-09-2015 3:31pm

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Is that good or bad?

Definitely good, slotted right back in. Couple of moments of "how do I...." but otherwise it's fine. Nothing changed. Even my postit note listing incomplete jobs when I was leaving was still on my desk

mg1982 · 07-09-2015 5:25pm

scrimshanker wrote: »

Definitely good, slotted right back in. Couple of moments of "how do I...." but otherwise it's fine. Nothing changed. Even my postit note listing incomplete jobs when I was leaving was still on my desk

Thats good to hear scrim. Its nice to have a sense of familiarity when you go back to work.

Gremlinertia · 07-09-2015 6:28pm

Delighted Scrim!

freudiangirl · 07-09-2015 7:33pm

I got through today and yesterday. Feel such a fraud.i am totally disassociated and it seems normal. Hate this thing. Meds are knocking me and making me dopey all day. Not taking them tonight as I have to get up in time to get train to Dublin for my dbt tomorrow.

freudiangirl · 07-09-2015 7:33pm

scrimshanker wrote: »

Definitely good, slotted right back in. Couple of moments of "how do I...." but otherwise it's fine. Nothing changed. Even my postit note listing incomplete jobs when I was leaving was still on my desk

Delighted

freudiangirl · 07-09-2015 8:28pm

Advice needed re Disassociation? I have had not so major issues in past with this and feeling I am present physically but not mentally and fully. I just feel like I haven't been 100%there for past while. It getting frustrating and actually bringing me down.
During the weekend, I had a weird experience with feeling like I was in a different reality but can't make sense of it. I was awake but it was very vivid and real yet feel like I had no control over the whole thing. This has actually freaked me out majorly.

All advice/information appreciated?

heyday30 · 07-09-2015 8:53pm

Joya wrote: »

really sorry to hear that, if it makes it easier for you you're not alone in this.. among other things I happen to have this too..
my therapist sent me to OA meetings its good to hear how other people cope..
have bulimic eating disorder meaning going few kilos up and down in a very short period of time but two years ago with my depression it went over the moon
im managing it now more or less.. meaning phases of more then phases of less.. sometimes there's nothing i can do about it but wait for the coin to turn...

Sorry to hear joya x

I think for a lot of people food issues Go hand in hand with depression / mood disorders.
its a catch 22 really cause we need food everyday. But it's a torment for me personally.

I'm the whole day not eaten a thing today bar a bowl of cereal. A consequence from yesterday.

It is what it is I suppose.

Hope you are all doing ok.

Gremlinertia · 07-09-2015 8:53pm

I get caught in a sorta bubble like that sometimes. It's the oddest feeling. Like being under ether, all conscious but with no input to goings on around me.. It's been going on for years so I try to breathe through it, I'm kinda ok with it at this point though..
I know that some approaches advise using sensation to ground you. For instance grab an ice cube or a very warm mug.

Joya · 07-09-2015 10:00pm

heyday30 wrote: »

Sorry to hear joya x
I think for a lot of people food issues Go hand in hand with depression / mood disorders.
its a catch 22 really cause we need food everyday. But it's a torment for me personally.
I'm the whole day not eaten a thing today bar a bowl of cereal. A consequence from yesterday.
It is what it is I suppose.
Hope you are all doing ok.

so yes to me this sounds like bulimic behaviour similar to mine.. i never vomited food (yikes) but would oscillate between binge eating and dieting and between 41 and 47kg for the most of my life.. if those would be long term oscillations it would be no probs but it being few weeks or months its just a constant struggle..
emotional eating is more common to women men are usually addicted to other stuff it being porn sex alcohol or whatever.. not saying there are no man who suffer from this
read loads of books one was kindof special and was hoping it would do miracles for me (it unfortunately did not) Brain over Binge (Katherine Hansen) but it gave me some insights..
anyway dealing with urges does take loads of effort and energy and the trouble is that yes food is essential for our survival so it can get you highly addicted
i think being kind to yourself and accepting whatever you are can help elevate the pressure.. also my therapist told me and shocked me at first with it saying i am the same person with few kilos more or less and should be able to love myself just the same, and not to be overly attached to body image...and so also very negatively judgemental

...
this topic still has stigma of shame on it and people do not tend to talk easily if at all about it.. i experienced it is more "acceptable" to talk about depression anxiety and similar then about eating disorders...

heyday30 · 07-09-2015 10:17pm

Joya wrote: »

so yes to me this sounds like bulimic behaviour similar to mine.. i never vomited food (yikes) but would oscillate between binge eating and dieting and between 41 and 47kg for the most of my life.. if those would be long term oscillations it would be no probs but it being few weeks or months its just a constant struggle..
emotional eating is more common to women men are usually addicted to other stuff it being porn sex alcohol or whatever.. not saying there are no man who suffer from this
read loads of books one was kindof special and was hoping it would do miracles for me (it unfortunately did not) Brain over Binge (Katherine Hansen) but it gave me some insights..
anyway dealing with urges does take loads of effort and energy and the trouble is that yes food is essential for our survival so it can get you highly addicted
i think being kind to yourself and accepting whatever you are can help elevate the pressure.. also my therapist told me and shocked me at first with it saying i am the same person with few kilos more or less and should be able to love myself just the same, and not to be overly attached to body image...and so also very negatively judgemental ...
this topic still has stigma of shame on it and people do not tend to talk easily if at all about it.. i experienced it is more "acceptable" to talk about depression anxiety and similar then about eating disorders...

Wow joya. Very interesting read there. Thanks.

Body image is a curse. I try as you say to be more accepting of myself.
We are our own worst enemies. Competing with others who are different from us anyway.
It really doesn't make sense.

Joya · 07-09-2015 10:28pm

heyday30 wrote: »

Wow joya. Very interesting read there. Thanks.
Body image is a curse. I try as you say to be more accepting of myself.
We are our own worst enemies. Competing with others who are different from us anyway.
It really doesn't make sense.

ha, glad to hear there was something interesting for ya :pac:
id agree about the body image, it is a curse, in my case other people rarely notice my ups and downs but i do notice and it really effect my mood it creating the negative cycle.. on the other hand it feels so good when i manage to get to the lower end, g, how i wish i can just stay there!

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-09-2015 10:39pm

scrimshanker wrote: »

Definitely good, slotted right back in. Couple of moments of "how do I...." but otherwise it's fine. Nothing changed. Even my postit note listing incomplete jobs when I was leaving was still on my desk

Delighted to hear that, Scrim!

mg1982 · 07-09-2015 11:14pm

freudiangirl wrote: »

Advice needed re Disassociation? I have had not so major issues in past with this and feeling I am present physically but not mentally and fully. I just feel like I haven't been 100%there for past while. It getting frustrating and actually bringing me down.
During the weekend, I had a weird experience with feeling like I was in a different reality but can't make sense of it. I was awake but it was very vivid and real yet feel like I had no control over the whole thing. This has actually freaked me out majorly.

All advice/information appreciated?

Its something i have been dealing with for a long time now. Feeling unreal, disconnected and having no recollection of having done something 5 mins before. It really is terrible to deal with. The only advice i can give is try and get a good nights sleep and cut back on the stimulants like caffeine and nicotteine.

freudiangirl · 07-09-2015 11:49pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I get caught in a sorta bubble like that sometimes. It's the oddest feeling. Like being under ether, all conscious but with no input to goings on around me.. It's been going on for years so I try to breathe through it, I'm kinda ok with it at this point though..
I know that some approaches advise using sensation to ground you. For instance grab an ice cube or a very warm mug.

I find it hard to come back to being. Feeling like I need to be doing something to get grounded even a tiny bit.

freudiangirl · 07-09-2015 11:52pm

mg1982 wrote: »

Its something i have been dealing with for a long time now. Feeling unreal, disconnected and having no recollection of having done something 5 mins before. It really is terrible to deal with. The only advice i can give is try and get a good nights sleep and cut back on the stimulants like caffeine and nicotteine.

Well it's been there on/ off past few months and last few weeks have been awful.
I honestly feel like a robot programmed to get through life.
Sleep can go extreme ..never normal really.
Just really fed up with not feeling.

mg1982 · 08-09-2015 12:48am

freudiangirl wrote: »

Well it's been there on/ off past few months and last few weeks have been awful.
I honestly feel like a robot programmed to get through life.
Sleep can go extreme ..never normal really.
Just really fed up with not feeling.

Hopefully its a temporary thing and it soon goes away. Its usually caused by extreme anxiety and stress and its just your minds way of dealing with it. But ya it makes you feel not human.

Gremlinertia · 08-09-2015 12:59am

I've been worrying a bit lately, an old symptom has reappeared and it's freaking me out a bit. I keep seeing dead friends, anyone on the street who even just vaguely resembles one of them suddenly is their spitting image. It's massively disconcerting. It's also very discouraging to me.. Oh well, I'll try talk about it in therapy and see if I can do something.

Hugo Stiglitz · 08-09-2015 1:00am

freudiangirl wrote: »

Well it's been there on/ off past few months and last few weeks have been awful.
I honestly feel like a robot programmed to get through life.
Sleep can go extreme ..never normal really.
Just really fed up with not feeling.

Hang on in there, FG. Things will hopefully click there soon.

You're doing great by just communicating with all us here. Bundling it all up isn't good at all.

Hugo Stiglitz · 08-09-2015 1:01am

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I've been worrying a bit lately, an old symptom has reappeared and it's freaking me out a bit. I keep seeing dead friends, anyone on the street who even just vaguely resembles one of them suddenly is their spitting image. It's massively disconcerting. It's also very discouraging to me.. Oh well, I'll try talk about it in therapy and see if I can do something.

That sounds so distressing. So sorry to hear that, Grem.

mg1982 · 08-09-2015 1:05am

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I've been worrying a bit lately, an old symptom has reappeared and it's freaking me out a bit. I keep seeing dead friends, anyone on the street who even just vaguely resembles one of them suddenly is their spitting image. It's massively disconcerting. It's also very discouraging to me.. Oh well, I'll try talk about it in therapy and see if I can do something.

That does sound a bit scary. Its funny how the mind can play tricks on you like that.

Gremlinertia · 08-09-2015 1:27am

Thanks folks, tbh I didn't really understand that it was weird as I thought most people went through it.. I made logic of it by the fact I was getting older and seeing more and more people so the odds of resemblance were narrower.. Isn't it amazing how able we are to justify things to ourselves?

Call Me Jimmy · 08-09-2015 3:07am

Sorry to jump in, anyone ever get the odd recognition that everything, all the pain and imagining and threads of thoughts that are roaring out of control are all contained just inside your skull, like in the physical space? if i look around the room, it is all going on between my eyes, between my ears, just under the skin and at that barrier it ends entirely. Here, everything, just outside, none of it exists. It almost feels as if my head is being physically bounced around by the whirling, but when I remember that just past the threshold of skin it all evaporates, it gives me a slight grounding.

Anyone ever get simple insights like this, where if told to by someone else 'it's all in your head' it means nothing and has no effect, but then you get an insight for yourself and it helps you a bit

Gremlinertia · 08-09-2015 6:34am

Callmejimmy, ever seen a painting called 'the scream' by Edward Munch? Google it if not, I often think that's like a representation of inside my head on some days.. Shakespeare also had a good line for it in 'King Lear' calling it "the tempest in my mind" and do you know what I find most comforting about all that?. I like that two brilliant artists have such a good knowledge of the whirlpool that a mind can be..

Joya · 08-09-2015 9:09am

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I've been worrying a bit lately, an old symptom has reappeared and it's freaking me out a bit. I keep seeing dead friends, anyone on the street who even just vaguely resembles one of them suddenly is their spitting image. It's massively disconcerting. It's also very discouraging to me.. Oh well, I'll try talk about it in therapy and see if I can do something.

i know what you mean, i am "seeing" my friend who committed suicide 2 months ago around the city in people, then always have to say myself this is not possible, and also yes a thought comes i will never see him again......

Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

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