Heineken Sales Down As Dickheads Migrate To Craft Beers

First Up · 22-10-2014 10:05pm

Links234 wrote: »

Ah come on now, I'm a big fan of cask ale, this whole craft beer thing is nothing but good news all round, but we can have a bit of a laugh about it too

Absolutely. But there are people in this forum who seem to be taking it seriously.

Links234 · 22-10-2014 10:10pm

First Up wrote: »

Absolutely. But there are people in this forum who seem to be taking it seriously.

Then point and laugh

Chancer3001 · 22-10-2014 10:24pm

Craft beers are ****e.

If they were any good there be a huge demand for them and they'd be mass produced.

yipeeeee · 22-10-2014 10:24pm

I think its the word craft that irritates me when I hear **** going on about it.

Captain Chaos · 22-10-2014 10:29pm

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Craft beers are ****e.

and they'd be mass produced.

If they were then they wouldn't be classed as craft beers. It's in the name.

Hogs Back is a nice craft beer, better than most of the other crafts imo.

For Forks Sake · 22-10-2014 10:32pm

yipeeeee wrote: »

I think its the word craft that irritates me when I hear **** going on about it.

Right so, Artisan Beer it is, just to keep you quiet.

I f*cking hate the term artisan applied to food.

Beaner1 · 22-10-2014 10:36pm

I prefer cask ales.

Eutow · 22-10-2014 10:40pm

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Craft beers are ****e.

If they were any good there be a huge demand for them and they'd be mass produced.

Mass produced lagers are sh**te.

If they were any good they wouldn't have to be frozen to be almost drinkable.

McChubbin · 22-10-2014 10:40pm

Urgh, Heineken. Tastes like flat, vaguely beer-flavored water to me.
I loves me craft beers, that I do, but I try not to be a snob about it. Everyone has different tastes to be fair.
As a matter of interest, I've got a fondness for Wynchwood Brewarie's stuff. Black Wych is my favorite.

Mmm. Caramel porter. NOM.

BrokenHero · 22-10-2014 10:45pm

Craft beer is horrible piss usually brewed by over privileged daddy's boys and drank by their overbearing mates.

Even the **** on the site wouldn't drink that stuff, it's worse than meths.

humbert · 22-10-2014 10:47pm

yipeeeee wrote: »

I think its the word craft that irritates me when I hear **** going on about it.

It's the use of the term Cask Ale for absolutely everything that isn't mainstream that irks me. I like this beer or that beer and distrust the opinion of people who use popular umbrella terms to describe what they like. The same sort of people that say they like weissbier.

Shakespeare's Sister · 22-10-2014 10:48pm

Iranoutofideas wrote: »

It seem like the new thing to "hate on" is Craft Beer and people that like it.

However I have yet to drink with anyone who talks about it endlessly like some people would have you believe.

Hugely agreed.

You might get someone suggesting you try a certain beer and say they prefer the taste. Do people get this irate about people that suggest you try a new food?

Yes, unfortunately.

I like any beer I like the taste of, whether that be big name ones (I quite like Heineken/Carlsberg, but Bud/Carling are pish IMO), less "big name" ones (like Tyskie, and I love the Asian ones) or craft beers. I don't like weissbeers.

Shakespeare's Sister · 22-10-2014 10:50pm

humbert wrote: »

It's the use of the term Cask Ale for absolutely everything that isn't mainstream that irks me.

Genuinely my first time hearing of the term "cask ale".

nyarlothothep · 22-10-2014 10:51pm

Trappist beers are the best. Gulden Drak is an incredible Belgian strong dark ale, ditto for the Chimay range. I just feel...so cultural. I very much like American craft beers, there is more variety but you also tend to get more sh1t. The Old Dominion Oak Barrel Stout is highly recommended. I could never return to ordinary beer after drinking craft beers:)

Saipanne · 22-10-2014 10:55pm

One thing that craft beers exposed was how utterly disgusting Heineken is.

anncoates · 22-10-2014 11:02pm

Great article.

There are some painful beer aficionados and snobs alright but people that swear blind by something like Guinness or Carlsberg and say so called craft beers and stouts are all sh1t are equally as irritating.

Craft beer is an annoying phrase too.

KungPao · 22-10-2014 11:03pm

I don't understand people who get offended by people drinking stuff that isn't Heineken, Budweiser, Coors etc. And bizarre comments like "Craft beer is undrinkable piss"...?

The place I play snooker in has a little bar with the usual stuff on tap and I have no problem drinking it, but if I'm in a place that has bottles of nice "different" stuff, I'll go for that.

Some people scoff if you buy a bottle of Erdinger ffs, like you are dickhead because you order a "fancy" German beer.

tastyt · 22-10-2014 11:04pm

Why drink beer when whiskey exists

Amirani · 22-10-2014 11:07pm

humbert wrote: »

It's the use of the term Cask Ale for absolutely everything that isn't mainstream that irks me. I like this beer or that beer and distrust the opinion of people who use popular umbrella terms to describe what they like. The same sort of people that say they like weissbier.

Not sure if serious. Will bite anyway:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cask_ale

anncoates · 22-10-2014 11:10pm

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Craft beers are ****e.

If they were any good there be a huge demand for them and they'd be mass produced.

By that token, One Direction and The Sun are cultural high water marks

TheBeardedLady · 22-10-2014 11:15pm

That Waterford Whispers website is really unfunny.

Edit: Granted, I'm basing this on 2 articles I've read. And not the one included in the OP.

SilverScreen · 22-10-2014 11:16pm

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Craft beers are ****e.

If they were any good there be a huge demand for them and they'd be mass produced.

I nearly broke my nose face-palming.

GLaDOS · 22-10-2014 11:20pm

Value Hunter wrote: »

How will you know if someone drinks craft beers?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

They'll f**king tell you

How do you know someone doesn't drink craft beers?

They start bitching the moment they're mentioned

TrustedApple · 22-10-2014 11:20pm

Love craft bears myself as once you drink them everything else tastes like piss. Here waterford we have a great Craft Bear called metal man and its just fantastic its on draft in the pubs as you cant buy it in the shops but the amount of people i made drink it and now cant drink the other stuff grows by the day

SilverScreen · 22-10-2014 11:26pm

I've no problem drinking Heineken on a night out but you can't beat the variety of craft beers or various international beers.

GLaDOS · 22-10-2014 11:29pm

samapple789 wrote: »

Love craft bears myself as once you drink them everything else tastes like piss. Here waterford we have a great Craft Bear called metal man and its just fantastic its on draft in the pubs as you cant buy it in the shops but the amount of people i made drink it and now cant drink the other stuff grows by the day

Dungarvan do some great beers down that way as well.

Sh1tbag OToole · 22-10-2014 11:29pm

I'm dieing to try some of this Cobbler's Knob 7.6% any place that sells it?

Banjo String · 22-10-2014 11:32pm

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

I'm dieing to try some of this Cobbler's Knob 7.6% any place that sells it?

There's a place on Harcourt Street, but it's a bit of a mouthful.

humbert · 22-10-2014 11:32pm

Diego Simeone wrote: »

Not sure if serious. Will bite anyway:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cask_ale

It was semi-serious but I'm not sure what the point your making is? (genuine question).

Luke92 · 22-10-2014 11:38pm

I love the local beer in Tenerife (Dorada). Very nice stuff! I also like Alhambra.

AnonoBoy · 22-10-2014 11:41pm

Banjo String wrote: »

There's a place on Harcourt Street, but it's a bit of a mouthful.

The Bishop's Finger is nice though.

emo72 · 22-10-2014 11:59pm

fer ****s sake lads. the craft beers are lovely. doesnt make you a dickhead..

Mongfinder General · 23-10-2014 12:07am

emo72 wrote: »

fer ****s sake lads. the craft beers are lovely. doesnt make you a dickhead..

Craft beers - Obscure ****e with a shelf life shorter than skimmed milk. Usually presented in a bottle that looks like it was designed by 7 year olds high on crystal meth. Most craft beers taste like a mixture of piss and sam adams.

lbj666 · 23-10-2014 12:14am

The micro brewery movement are more or less filling the void left from decades ago when Guinness bought out nearly every local brewery in sight, discontinued their product and correct me if i am wrong destroyed any trace of branding and ads by them. We had more diversity of local beers before WW2 than we had 10-15 years ago for feck sake. The fact the US, the land of the big 3 and pissy light beers has a far maturer mircro brewering industry says it all really.

Germany doesn't have a huge craft beer movement by the way, a lot to do with their purity laws. Still have plenty of variety of beers good beers though.

I will say that the level of ****e talk with craft beer gets on my nerves though, as far i am concerned you either think a beer you try tastes nice and you'd go for it again or you don't. Stop pandering about "notes", brewing processes and that stuff, all that stuff is for brewers to be bothered about.

Snobs are right about heineken though, its rotten.

lbj666 · 23-10-2014 12:16am

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Craft beers - Obscure ****e with a shelf life shorter than skimmed milk. Usually presented in a bottle that looks like it was designed by 7 year olds high on crystal meth. Most craft beers taste like a mixture of piss and sam adams.

I will take something that tastes like a mixture of piss and sam adams over something that taste like a mixture of watered down piss, or just piss.

Mars Bar · 23-10-2014 12:25am

I was in the Yard House, Irvine during the summer and they had 100+ craft beers on tap. The bar is huge! It's like an island you'd have in your kitchen and you walk around it to pick what beer you want. Unfortunately I was driving so I was stuck with coke but to be honest, I wouldn't have known where to begin. The others loved trying loads of different beers! Everyone was buying different ones so others could taste them.

I drink Miller in the pubs but prefer Erdinger. I drink Desperados in Spain and America and Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy when in America too.

emo72 · 23-10-2014 12:26am

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Craft beers - Obscure ****e with a shelf life shorter than skimmed milk. Usually presented in a bottle that looks like it was designed by 7 year olds high on crystal meth. Most craft beers taste like a mixture of piss and sam adams.

No. You have no idea what you are talking about. Craft beers don't need a long shelf life. Because they are drank straight away. Dungarvan brewery stuff is gorgeous. O Hara stuff in aldi is gorgeous too. No problems.

marco_polo · 23-10-2014 12:28am

Don't especially get why some folk get so annoyed about it, like a healthy growing indigenous brewing industry is a bad thing or something.

mackg · 23-10-2014 12:38am

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

That Waterford Whispers website is really unfunny.

Edit: Granted, I'm basing this on 2 articles I've read. And not the one included in the OP.

What people like about it is that it's based on topics and characters that are relatable. I find the headlines to be better than the stories with the exception of the Jamie Lonergan pieces.

Mongfinder General · 23-10-2014 12:47am

lbj666 wrote: »

I will take something that tastes like a mixture of piss and sam adams over something that taste like a mixture of watered down piss, or just piss.

So, you like to drink p1ss. I rather not drink either of the above.

Mongfinder General · 23-10-2014 12:50am

emo72 wrote: »

No. You have no idea what you are talking about. Craft beers don't need a long shelf life. Because they are drank straight away. Dungarvan brewery stuff is gorgeous. O Hara stuff in aldi is gorgeous too. No problems.

Whatever, p1ss water. Craft beers are the necter of hipster a$$holes.

KungPao · 23-10-2014 12:51am

marco_polo wrote: »

Don't especially get why some folk get so annoyed about it, like a healthy growing indigenous brewing industry is a bad thing or something.

...and the variety is most welcome.

Nothing worse than heading into a place and glancing at the taps and seeing the usual Diageo stuff...and just bottles of Miller and that new rubbish Canadian beer in the fridge...

I think these posters saying "oooh a craft beer is ****e" (and by "craft" they probably mean anything that's not mass-produced Dutch/Irish stuff), probably work in the industry and don't want things to change...so Paddy drinks nothing but a pint of the black stuff, Jonno drinks his Bud, and Fintan sticks to his Heino.

Do these people honestly believe a pint of Heineken is nicer than a bottle of Franziskaner or Spaten? They can't!

Mongfinder General · 23-10-2014 12:54am

KungPao wrote: »

...and the variety is most welcome.

Nothing worse than heading into a place and glancing at the taps and seeing the usual Diageo stuff...and just bottles of Miller and that new rubbish Canadian beer in the fridge...

I think these posters saying "oooh a craft beer is ****e" (and by "craft" they probably mean anything that's not mass-produced Dutch/Irish stuff), probably work in the industry and don't want things to change...so Paddy drinks nothing but a pint of the black stuff, Jonno drinks his Bud, and Fintan sticks to his Heino.

Do these people honestly believe a pint of Heineken is nicer than a bottle of Franziskaner or Spaten? They can't!

You'll be claiming that Paulaner is potable next...

Cookie_Monster · 23-10-2014 12:57am

Iwasfrozen wrote: »

I like Heineken...

I like NZ Heineken but I hate the Dutch stuff, its seriously different down here.

KungPao · 23-10-2014 12:59am

Mongfinder General wrote: »

You'll be claiming that Paulaner is potable next...

Yeah...you're obviously on a windup.

AngryHippie · 23-10-2014 1:00am

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Whatever, p1ss water. Craft beers are the necter of hipster a$$holes.

Other way around.

Hipster a$$holes are the bane of the decent craft beer pub.

My local has 6 taps, keeps 2 dedicated and consistent, then varies the other 4 on a weekly/fortnightly basis.
It's great, the dedicated taps have constant good tasty beer and the variety of being able to try a new beer everytime I go there keeps it fresh.

I can only go on weekdays though. Hipsters ruin it at the weekends.

"Ya, very hoppy", "like you can really taste the wild hibiscus notes" - GTFO

"Like that one" and "not a fan" are the only two remarks really needed.

That said, I really haven't had a terrible one there yet, there was one cocoa stout that I really was not a fan of, but I haven't seen it back there since.:)

Mongfinder General · 23-10-2014 1:01am

KungPao wrote: »

Yeah...you're obviously on a windup.

You like paulaner...**** is worse than erdinger.

Cookie_Monster · 23-10-2014 1:04am

is there any craft beer that tastes of anything other than excessive hops?

KungPao · 23-10-2014 1:05am

Mongfinder General wrote: »

You like paulaner...**** is worse than erdinger.

I like lots of beers.

Paulaner is good, as is Erdinger, Franziskaner is better though.

Berserker · 23-10-2014 1:14am

People losing the run of themselves with their fancy beers. Yet another sign that the Celtic tiger is coming back. They'll all be getting new decking next, mark my words.

Heineken Sales Down As Dickheads Migrate To Craft Beers

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