The Online Dating Thread Part II Mod Warning Read First Post/or Post 7389

Galvasean · 21-12-2011 2:12pm

booboo88, you should report offensive messages. Their profiles will be deleted (of course they can re-reg, but its the principal of the thing - I cant stand how decent people are scared off by the pervs/weirdos/scumbags)

yeppydeppy · 21-12-2011 2:13pm

I must be doing something wrong? I've tried pof, okc and anotherfriend and nothing! Well almost nothing, I had one reponse from a girl who's living in Japan. I'm a guy living in Co. Cork and I've sent messages to numerous girls from Cork and Limerick and a few others further a field and nothing!
I've personalised the messages (at the start I'd sent a few generic ones) and still nothing.
Anyone else find it like this? Do I need to spend months on these sites? I've been on all three for about 2 weeks.

parker kent · 21-12-2011 4:34pm

booboo88 wrote: »

thats me finnito. Unless I move to Dublin cause theres no real people on pof in my area

Ha I imagined a group of fake people living around the rest of the country :pac:

Have you tried OK Cupid or any of the others? POF would give me a headache just looking at it, let alone the "interesting" characters on it.

booboo88 · 21-12-2011 5:13pm

parker kent wrote: »

Ha I imagined a group of fake people living around the rest of the country :pac:

Have you tried OK Cupid or any of the others? POF would give me a headache just looking at it, let alone the "interesting" characters on it.

Sadly I'm on both

okc doesnt seem to have many people in cork:(

murhatchi · 21-12-2011 5:45pm

Had first date from the web yesterday, went for a drink at 6 and stayed at it until nearly 10pm

Good start! This was via POF which I was about to give up on, also have registered on maybefriends as a paid member. Just a theory but maybe those that pay for the sites are a bit more serious and sincere (not a sweeping generalization but some of the profiles on POF.....well ..

)

parker kent · 21-12-2011 6:03pm

booboo88 wrote: »

Sadly I'm on both
okc doesnt seem to have many people in cork:(

Ah that sucks. Sometimes it is worth taking a break for a while in order to wait for "fresh meat" :P

Samich · 21-12-2011 7:08pm

I don't see what's wrong with the pof interface? Easy to see people from your area and if someone doesn't fill in their profile with interesting stuff it's not someone I'd be interested in anyways

missbelle · 21-12-2011 7:08pm

caesar wrote: »

Katy Perry lookalike, gotta say I’m intrigued given the Zooey Deschanel comparison which people make.

Thanks, but I don't look anything like either of those lovely ladies

Except that I have dark hair & blue eyes

Agent Smith · 21-12-2011 8:41pm

missbelle wrote: »

Thanks, but I don't look anything like either of those lovely ladies
Except that I have dark hair & blue eyes

PM link to profile? :pac:

GrumPy · 21-12-2011 9:29pm

Agent Smith wrote: »

PM link to profile? :pac:

+1 :P

missbelle · 21-12-2011 10:21pm

link sent

BraziliaNZ · 22-12-2011 1:55pm

ok so - single for the last 6 months or so, and decided to give POF a go after slating people in the past about online dating, but it was worth a shot. I've never needed it before but I moved away for someone and we broke up and now I'm living somewhere where I don't know that many people. I never had a problem hooking up with girls before but it just ain't happening lately.
Anyway, I've sent a lot of messages to a lot of attractive ladies and rarely get a response, if I do we usually mail back and forth until they either just stop responding, or if I mention meeting up I am then ignored - so I don't know why they bother replying in first place! I did have one date, she was nice, met her again but it was too awkward, so i didn't contact her again after that.

Anyway, the whole exercise is just making me feel worse about myself, with being ignored by most, especially when you see they've viewed your profile - i think i'm a good guy, good looking, and I try and send interesting funny messages.

Does anyone else feel like it's done more harm than good? I think I'll delete my profile when I get home!

Maguined · 22-12-2011 2:16pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Does anyone else feel like it's done more harm than good? I think I'll delete my profile when I get home!

You should never feel anything negative if someone is not interested in you. Everyone has their own individual taste in what they are attracted to so just because some girls in particular were not interested you shouldn't care as there will be plenty of other girls that will.

If you let yourself get bothered by the lack of interest or rejection in life then it will only end up making you insecure and bitter and this will only influence negatively as generally women do not like insecurity or bitterness.

Chin up and stay positive.

yeppydeppy · 22-12-2011 2:34pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Does anyone else feel like it's done more harm than good? I think I'll delete my profile when I get home!

I know exactly how you feel (see my other post above) however just today I got a single response which gives me hope. I'm begining to think it's a bit of a waiting game.

BraziliaNZ · 22-12-2011 2:45pm

yeppydeppy wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel (see my other post above) however just today I got a single response which gives me hope. I'm begining to think it's a bit of a waiting game.

I know, I just dont think I can be arsed with it, women come along into my life sooner or later usually. Do women send messages or are all conversations started from males? I'd imagine the good looking girls must get 100s of messages a day.

BraziliaNZ · 22-12-2011 2:54pm

Another thing. Not sure about Ireland, but here in London so many of the women's profiles are just a list of demands.

You must be Xft tall
You must not call me this or that
Dont even bother messaging if you this or that
I'm so sick of idiots doing this
If I dont respond blah
If i like you I'll message you back if you fit X profile

I don't know, it's like lots of the girls are getting some power trip buzz out of it. I feel like messaging some of them and telling them to get a grip - I know they must get 100s of messages but surely they can just ignore the bad ones instead of coming across like a total b*tch in their profiles?

C.D. · 22-12-2011 3:12pm

Got a message off a nice girl the other day.. copy paste job and very random too. Not sure what to make of it: "You look like hamsters.. I like hamsters

". Definitely the oddest thing anyone has said to me this year!

Feeling a bit despondent about OD. 2 months on OKC, met a few girls, saw one for 3/4 weeks, but could not see it going any further than FWB, which I have very little interest in. Nearly universally ignored by the women I'm genuinely attracted to, sick of putting effort into writing messages. Few messages from girls, some I am attracted to, most I'm not.

I'm quite happy at the moment (in a general sense) and the dating scene (especially online) is taking too much effort/time and not giving enough back! Thinking about deleting my profile.. not quite sure I would come back to OD.

Maguined · 22-12-2011 3:17pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Another thing. Not sure about Ireland, but here in London so many of the women's profiles are just a list of demands.

You must be Xft tall
You must not call me this or that
Dont even bother messaging if you this or that
I'm so sick of idiots doing this
If I dont respond blah
If i like you I'll message you back if you fit X profile

I don't know, it's like lots of the girls are getting some power trip buzz out of it. I feel like messaging some of them and telling them to get a grip - I know they must get 100s of messages but surely they can just ignore the bad ones instead of coming across like a total b*tch in their profiles?

What's wrong with knowing what they want? They are just trying to save their time and men that might message them time as well.

BraziliaNZ · 22-12-2011 3:18pm

Maguined wrote: »

What's wrong with knowing what they want? They are just trying to save their time and men that might message them time as well.

I just find it rude and puts me off the whole thing. Do men do this too?

Maguined · 22-12-2011 3:22pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I just find it rude and puts me off the whole thing. Do men do this too?

Yes they do, maybe not as much as women do but then women are probably being sent far more messages than men are, as a result they have to filter through more profiles men so it makes perfect sense that they start to try and cut down on all this manual filtering by making their position more clear from the start.

I don't find it bitchy at all, people are allowed be as picky and close minded about what they are looking for as it's their personal life not a job application, equal opportunities for all is not a requirement of dating.

cyrusdvirus · 22-12-2011 3:23pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I just find it rude and puts me off the whole thing. Do men do this too?

Subconciously you do.

Do you message girls who do NOT fit your criteria? If someone who you would not be attracted to messaged you, would you respond?

BraziliaNZ · 22-12-2011 3:25pm

gatecrash wrote: »

Subconciously you do.

Do you message girls who do NOT fit your criteria? If someone who you would not be attracted to messaged you, would you respond?

I might do. I'm talking about the ones that come across as almost offensive, like they're shouting rules at you or something, I just don't think it's a natural way to be, it's horrible, really puts me off online dating.

cyrusdvirus · 22-12-2011 3:33pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I might do. I'm talking about the ones that come across as almost offensive, like they're shouting rules at you or something, I just don't think it's a natural way to be, it's horrible, really puts me off online dating.

Well no one is forcing you to be there.

When i was on it I think i started off with a kind of similar outlook, everyone is here for a reason, and was getting slightly miffed when i'd message someone with a non generic mail, with totally random heading/subject lines, and not get a response.

Eventually i got over that little hump and got on with it.

BraziliaNZ · 22-12-2011 3:35pm

gatecrash wrote: »

Well no one is forcing you to be there.

When i was on it I think i started off with a kind of similar outlook, everyone is here for a reason, and was getting slightly miffed when i'd message someone with a non generic mail, with totally random heading/subject lines, and not get a response.

Eventually i got over that little hump and got on with it.

I just don't get the attraction to it if so many people seem to be so exact and specific about what they want. I don't think anyone can say exactly what type of partner they want, in an almost bitchy manner. Everyone I've loved have been thoroughly different, I could never say who or what I wanted really, that's the fun of it no? So I find the whole approach sterile and unnatural. I think I'm better in more organic situations, so yeah I don't think it's for me.

Larianne · 22-12-2011 3:37pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I might do. I'm talking about the ones that come across as almost offensive, like they're shouting rules at you or something, I just don't think it's a natural way to be, it's horrible, really puts me off online dating.

I get you. I'd find it off putting too.

Fair enough everyone has their little things that they like/don't like. I just don't like the little list of things. I don't like seeing negativity in profiles at all, just gives off the impression the person might be too.

Maguined · 22-12-2011 3:38pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I might do. I'm talking about the ones that come across as almost offensive, like they're shouting rules at you or something, I just don't think it's a natural way to be, it's horrible, really puts me off online dating.

If I am on the bus and something is listening to loud music blaring out of their phone, especially a genre of music I hate I do not turn around and become disparaged at all music, I simply dislike the individual person.

You should not let the profiles of a few individuals spoil the whole online dating scene for you, just ignore the people you don't like and keep messaging people you do like, stay positive and relaxed, girls prefer that*.

*from my personal experience anyway.

BraziliaNZ · 22-12-2011 3:39pm

Larianne wrote: »

I get you. I'd find it off putting too.

Fair enough everyone has their little things that they like/don't like. I just don't like the little list of things. I don't like seeing negativity in profiles at all, just gives off the impression the person might be too.

Exactly, I just think it's not a nice way of presenting yourself. In saying that the majority seem to be nice and open, and if they don't reply I don't think people take it personally, I just don't see the need for writing down your exact demands, it immediately turns me off the person.

cyrusdvirus · 22-12-2011 3:39pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I just don't get the attraction to it if so many people seem to be so exact and specific about what they want. I don't think anyone can say exactly what type of partner they want, in an almost bitchy manner. Everyone I've loved have been thoroughly different, I could never say who or what I wanted really, that's the fun of it no? So I find the whole approach sterile and unnatural. I think I'm better in more organic situations, so yeah I don't think it's for me.

Its not for everybody.

And considering you said yourself you ripped the piss out of it before its possible that you still have that going on in the back of the old head, you know yourself.

Don't get me wrong, the negativity on some of the profiles, the almost list of demands from a prospective partner, can be off putting but so too can the outlook you go in with.

finipops · 22-12-2011 4:29pm

Just got a message off a girl looking for sex nothing more. No joke and the thing is she looks really innocent but she's being bold with the messages.

BraziliaNZ · 22-12-2011 4:33pm

finipops wrote: »

Just got a message off a girl looking for sex nothing more. No joke and the thing is she looks really innocent but she's being bold with the messages.

did she give you her account details too?

panda100 · 22-12-2011 5:37pm

C.D. wrote: »

Nearly universally ignored by the women I'm genuinely attracted to, sick of putting effort into writing messages. Few messages from girls, some I am attracted to, most I'm not.
.

Are you talking about physical attractivness? I presume you are beacuse who would be attracted to the personality of someone who ignores them! Maybe its time to look beyond looks, and focus on more important qualities before giving up on the online dating?

Bit dissapointed on the whole romance side of things for myself in 2011. My internet was down for the last two months so that pretty much made my love life non existent.New Years resoloution is to go on lots of dates. Ive also been thinking about joining the Dublin singles meetups group on meetup.com.Anyone else go along to any of their events?

finipops · 22-12-2011 5:48pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

did she give you her account details too?

I got her phone number and she doesn't live to far away from me.

BraziliaNZ · 22-12-2011 6:22pm

panda100 wrote: »

Are you talking about physical attractivness? I presume you are beacuse who would be attracted to the personality of someone who ignores them! Maybe its time to look beyond looks, and focus on more important qualities before giving up on the online dating?

Bit dissapointed on the whole romance side of things for myself in 2011. My internet was down for the last two months so that pretty much made my love life non existent.New Years resoloution is to go on lots of dates. Ive also been thinking about joining the Dublin singles meetups group on meetup.com.Anyone else go along to any of their events?

Honestly like, people judge you on your photos on online dating, that's a fact. Hence why people only message the ones that they would find attractive. No matter how endearing their description of themselves is, if they're not "doable", I wouldn't bother messaging them. Is that wrong?

stupidusername · 22-12-2011 7:20pm

panda100 wrote: »

Ive also been thinking about joining the Dublin singles meetups group on meetup.com.Anyone else go along to any of their events?

been thinking about this myself a bit lately too. would love to know if anyone has had any experiences of them. I kinda imagine them to be a bit awkward feeling, but i'm sure they're not.

MGHOW · 22-12-2011 7:37pm

I tried plenty of fish. It was a real blow to my confidence. I sent out 30-50 messages and got zero responses. The women I messaged weren't attractive either; I'm not picky.

Being an unattractive male in Irish society really is the bottom of the barrel. I'm 6'3.5 and in good shape but I have acne scarring and just an overall unattractive face.

Guys who say looks don't matter are obviously average or better. If you had first-hand experience of what it's like for us unattractive guys in clubs/pubs or anywhere else, you would change your mind very quickly.

I'm 23 so you may suggest it will get better over time, but why should I want to be with a woman who would have rejected me in her youth and is only accepting me because she is getting old and unattractive and losing her appeal?

sunflower27 · 22-12-2011 9:08pm

MGHOW wrote: »

I tried plenty of fish. It was a real blow to my confidence. I sent out 30-50 messages and got zero responses. The women I messaged weren't attractive either; I'm not picky.

Being an unattractive male in Irish society really is the bottom of the barrel. I'm 6'3.5 and in good shape but I have acne scarring and just an overall unattractive face.

Guys who say looks don't matter are obviously average or better. If you had first-hand experience of what it's like for us unattractive guys in clubs/pubs or anywhere else, you would change your mind very quickly.

I'm 23 so you may suggest it will get better over time, but why should I want to be with a woman who would have rejected me in her youth and is only accepting me because she is getting old and unattractive and losing her appeal?

C'mon, chin up. You only have to meet one woman. I'm sorry you feel so down about your looks, but we all have our positives.

Lots of women like tall men

If internet dating is making you feel bad, then don't do it. It's not the only way to meet a partner.

den87 · 22-12-2011 11:47pm

Got chatting to a really nice and funny girl on POF tonight, got a good feeling about this one.

booboo88 · 22-12-2011 11:56pm

MGHOW wrote: »

I tried plenty of fish. It was a real blow to my confidence. I sent out 30-50 messages and got zero responses. The women I messaged weren't attractive either; I'm not picky.

Being an unattractive male in Irish society really is the bottom of the barrel. I'm 6'3.5 and in good shape but I have acne scarring and just an overall unattractive face.

Guys who say looks don't matter are obviously average or better. If you had first-hand experience of what it's like for us unattractive guys in clubs/pubs or anywhere else, you would change your mind very quickly.

I'm 23 so you may suggest it will get better over time, but why should I want to be with a woman who would have rejected me in her youth and is only accepting me because she is getting old and unattractive and losing her appeal?

That vbe probably came off in your messages

babyfratelli_x · 23-12-2011 6:21am

Well! Im a long time lurker round these parts, and was havin a nosy through this thread earlier...

Never really gave dating sites any thought, Im 22 and I socialise fairly often, so havent really had any need... But my curiosity was aroused reading this so I decided to check them out and seein as I couldnt sleep, but ended up actually creating a half proper profile!

Anyway, that was one thing I didnt inted on doin when I threw on the laptop earlier!

But on a plus side, it sounds like some of you have actually had success on these things which is nice to see!

oeb · 23-12-2011 10:51am

stupidusername wrote: »

been thinking about this myself a bit lately too. would love to know if anyone has had any experiences of them. I kinda imagine them to be a bit awkward feeling, but i'm sure they're not.

I actually orginised a cork meetup for Connecting Singles there a couple of months back. We got a decent turn out, about 30 people, including people traveling from all around the country.

It was an absolute blast.

Galvasean · 23-12-2011 2:12pm

I was looking around OKC yesterday. I found a 4% match. I honestly didn't think they went that low! :pac:

Agent Smith · 23-12-2011 2:26pm

Galvasean wrote: »

I was looking around OKC yesterday. I found a 4% match. I honestly didn't think they went that low! :pac:

Yooooowhooooo!

murhatchi · 23-12-2011 2:33pm

panda100 wrote: »

AIve also been thinking about joining the Dublin singles meetups group on meetup.com.Anyone else go along to any of their events?

That sounds like it might be fun, you wouldnt have a link would you that you could post please? I had a look on meetup.com but couldnt find a singles group in Dublin (it may well be my internet foo is not up to scratch!)

Galvasean · 23-12-2011 2:39pm

If it's free we should all go

seeker11 · 23-12-2011 7:33pm

Asked a guy who I met a few times if he'd like to go out tonight...but he is going home to his mammy. Maybe should have asked sooner!
So we were talking online for a couple of weeks, met and got on well. We seem to have a lot in common and had some fun times. It's weird now though, have no clue where I stand with him, we both have prearranged things over Xmas....
Is it time to stop logging on? I guess I haven't really been chatting to anyone else since I met him....but my gut feeling isn't telling me anything about him or us.... Tis a strange one!
And yes...are we both free agents if we meet anyone else out over the hols?
I've never been as unsure about a situation before!

The Big Red Button · 23-12-2011 7:47pm

seeker11 wrote: »

Asked a guy who I met a few times if he'd like to go out tonight...but he is going home to his mammy. Maybe should have asked sooner!
So we were talking online for a couple of weeks, met and got on well. We seem to have a lot in common and had some fun times. It's weird now though, have no clue where I stand with him, we both have prearranged things over Xmas....
Is it time to stop logging on? I guess I haven't really been chatting to anyone else since I met him....but my gut feeling isn't telling me anything about him or us.... Tis a strange one!
And yes...are we both free agents if we meet anyone else out over the hols?
I've never been as unsure about a situation before!

Honestly I'd be much more worried if someone didn't have arrangements with friends/family over the holidays!

I mean, I can't talk. Because of weird last-minute circumstances, I'm at a bit of a loose end tonight. But in general, Christmas is very much the time for family and old friends. It's normal that he has plans for the Christmas nights, as I would assume you do to!

Honestly I'd say leave it on the back burner, as such, til the new year. Have fun over Christmas, spend lots of time with your friends and family, and if you and him are to be together then a couple of weeks won't make the slightest bit of difference.

seeker11 · 23-12-2011 8:13pm

I know, you are totally right! I think it's just the time of year to be honest. He mentioned doing something over the Xmas hol...not like a definite date -so unsure really. I guess I've been burned before to taking it as it comes and not focusing on the whole 'when will we meet again' and enjoying time together.
Will be busy over Xmas anyways... So will see how it goes!
Thanks!

booboo88 · 24-12-2011 1:40pm

Ok so in a moment of madness I send a few people a message, just cause I liked their profile, to give it one last go., Conversation ensues and the dreaded question..where abouts you from?....Im from the northside, which apparently means I must be unclean or a thief. :rolleyes: Are people really that jugdemental still? Yes Im from the northside, but I dont steal and wash regularly.

Galvasean · 24-12-2011 1:42pm

Im from the posh side of the North side...

I steal from the rich :pac:

stupidusername · 24-12-2011 1:43pm

booboo88 wrote: »

Ok so in a moment of madness I send a few people a message, just cause I liked their profile, to give it one last go., Conversation ensues and the dreaded question..where abouts you from?....Im from the northside, which apparently means I must be unclean or a thief. :rolleyes: Are people really that jugdemental still? Yes Im from the northside, but I dont steal and wash regularly.

oh ffs! nah you wanna stay away from people like that. :mad:

I live on the northside, I wonder is that gonna work against me some how.feckin fools

The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

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The Online Dating Thread Part II Mod Warning Read First Post/or Post 7389