Things you'd like to say to them

Sclosages · 27-10-2014 4:07am

I wish that either of you had stood up for me when you saw the bruises and the abuse. My god-parents? Not good enough.

Lollipops23 · 12-11-2014 5:50pm

L:
It's funny how the grief comes back at you from nowhere, a year and a half on. The smallest thing seems to hit me and remind me that I'll never see or talk to you again, even though we hadn't seen each other face to face in months before you went.
The people left behind all miss you and I know there's so many of us who think of you every single day- we even imagine your reaction to what people have said and been up to since last year, imagine the barbed comments that would have us on the floor laughing.

shano_88 · 12-11-2014 11:09pm

1 week tomorrow and I dont know how im going to continue my life without you. Im going to try and make you proud though and Ill never ever forget you or everything you did for me or how loving and caring you were to me and others.

Love you mum x

Canard · 15-11-2014 5:04pm

5 years gone. Everything feels so heavy today.

18-11-2014 3:34am

This time last year myself and yourself talked about your 70th. Well, the day has come but unfortunately you couldn't be here for it. Happy birthday Dad.

Cheers!

MI+Guinness+Cheers+toast.jpg

skirtgirl · 18-11-2014 3:40am

I wished I hugged you more.

Zanablue · 21-11-2014 2:30pm

Dad, I miss you so much and I don't think I will ever get over you. love you xx

princess-lala · 23-11-2014 9:23pm

Nanny, you know I love you right?

So I need you to watch granda for me, he seems to be failing and giving up! But you need to give him a little push to get better. Maybe help his lungs a bit eh?

Cos I really ain't ready to let him go so soon after you.

</3

princess-lala · 26-11-2014 1:35am

Nanny please take his pain away

sparkle_23 · 04-12-2014 4:25am

To my brother, I'm missin you all alone in the church.. Thinkin of 2moro is Breakin my heart xxxxxx I hope you can see how many people love you and came to see you today. You were so perfect and you looked so handsome. My sweet baby brother, I can't sleep, you should be here talkin nonsense & makin me laugh xxxx

04-12-2014 4:36am

sparkle_23 wrote: »

To my brother, I'm missin you all alone in the church.. Thinkin of 2moro is Breakin my heart xxxxxx I hope you can see how many people love you and came to see you today. You were so perfect and you looked so handsome. My sweet baby brother, I can't sleep, you should be here talkin nonsense & makin me laugh xxxx

Only saw your thread about your bro earlier. I'm so sorry for your loss and at the same time I'm really happy that you're home. I can't even imagine what yourself and your family are going through. May your baby brother rest in peace. Look after yourselves.

S

certifiedcrepe · 04-12-2014 4:37am

I have my driving test on Tuesday. That's another milestone in my life you'll never know about. I did my leaving cert, got into university, dropped out of university, so much happened but when you knew me last I was in 5th year. I wonder what your life would be like if you were still here. I wonder if we could've put the past behind us and moved on, I even wonder if we ever would've ended up together even though there was a 4 year age gap between us, I had a mad crush on you and you said I was one of the prettiest girls you ever met. I spent so much time being angry at you for what you did but during your 3 year anniversary I forced myself to let go of the anger and the guilt. Halloween is always a hard time though, we always spent it together or on the phone or something. Weird how it was like our holiday.

You're the reason I appreciate the small things. You always said you'd take me out for my first legal pint but by the time I turned 18 you were gone for a year and a half already. I try to spill some beer for you whenever I drink Heineken. I miss you man.

Gremlinertia · 08-12-2014 1:19am

This weekend four years ago I lost two of you. I still don't know what to say. It's not that it gets easier but maybe that I get more able to deal with the scars you left on me.. I miss you terribly, Jeff Buckley just came on now and that's as close to tears as I can get for now. Grieving is a companion rather than something that goes away..

Four years. Still angry sometimes, for that I'm sorry.

DeltaWhite · 10-12-2014 4:21pm

Mam,

I wish I could sleep for the whole month of December, I feel angry at everyone. Living their normal lives, going about their business. Even feel really angry at my friends at times. I've been to the counsellor once so far, going again tonight. She made me feel great about myself when I left. Then the minute I got home I felt really down. Worried more so. She worried me a lot, told me if I didnt grieve for you now, it could hit me years down the line and really knock me out of my skin.
I asked her out straight, HOW am i supposed to grieve when I have to take part in LIFE! I have to go to work, I have to do housework when I get home, by the end of it all, I'm too tired for tears. I barely even feel like I can cry anymore. Every few days it all festers and then I explode.

I will ask her again tonight what exactly I should be doing, because I cannot see anything I'm doing wrong. If she expects me to sit in a ball and cry for you for weeks she is wrong. That's not how to deal with grief in my opinion. I want to start myself a little memory diary, with all memories of me and you and little pictures I have, whatever I'm feeling that day etc. That to me is a better way to deal with it, I still havent processed that you're gone yet. I find myself still walking into your room to tell you something, or going to ring you.

You were just so precious to me, the most precious person in my life. I dont know how to deal with my feelings now. I'm looking at all the things in my life I was unhappy with and I just want them all erased. I really dont know what to do about himself. Going to mention that to the counsellor tonight, I think because of how unhappy I am at work, affects me and him, and because I am so unhappy with the loss of you, its even MORE affecting me and him.

My head is a mess, a total jumbled up jigsaw and I dont know how to put it back together again.

I would love to see your smile again. Still cannot believe that card I was dealt on 6th of October. I hope 2015 brings me some good karma. I really really need it.

missjm · 13-12-2014 6:27pm

Mum and Dad.. I'm dreading xmas. Somebody asked me today if I was all set for it and I very rudely cut them off and changed the subject. I feel bad now. It's just not the same spending it alone.

ChewChew · 17-12-2014 9:23pm

Dad, wish you could be here. Great news...... You're going to be a grandad

how exciting!! now your baby is having a baby!
Happy Christmas, and please watch over us on this journey.
Miss you loads,
xxx

Lux23 · 18-12-2014 1:29pm

I would like to tell him, I got the job. But maybe he already knows.

Gremlinertia · 18-12-2014 4:38pm

Today is your birthday, and i hope it's a good one wherever you are. I miss you like crazy, this is a hard time of year missing you all. Think of me if you can because i'm very weak right now.

missjm · 23-12-2014 1:34am

Dad and Mum - ye would be so proud of me this evening and I wish I could pick up the phone and tell ye how well I did. I hope you are both looking down proudly at me x

Gremlinertia · 04-01-2015 7:27am

I'm going up to visit you today, despite working all night I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Tomorrow is two years since you decided you were done with this place. I'm not making much headway with you at all. I don't feel I've gotten past angry at best.. Depressed as hell at worst. I am hoping today's visit will help me.. Keep me strong or at least upright darling, please..

Gremlinertia · 27-01-2015 3:30am

The day after I last posted to you N, gluas went missing. This morning he was buried.. I'm so punch drunk with all this year after year after year after year that I'm not sure what way is up sometimes. A lot of times when I wake up I have to remind myself again. Sort the living from the dead.. I've remained fairly normal in day to day life as much as I can. Take care of him there, he's new.

Split · 12-02-2015 3:07am

You where the most adored , admired and loved person to ever enter our world . 3 years has passed by since you went to heaven and we think of you ever day . We think of your courageous battle that gave us just 9 short weeks from diagnosis with you- did you ever know you where dying ? Did you really enjoy the last 9 weeks ? . As we enter Valentines weekend, we think of 53 years of marriage where you would always say the reason ye stayed together was 'never go to bed on an argument '- granny told us you sat on the chair all night when she would not accept your apology for calling her a card cheat- she misses you terribly !

You where called from us without meeting any of your great grandchildren , watch over them all as they grow and develop . Hearts are still broken , choked tears still form just not daily anymore . We will respect and love you forever

LegacyUser · 15-02-2015 11:48pm

She's been very quiet which is not how I remember her, you've been in touch but not her! I'm worried she may be a little lost and may need a guiding light, can you help find her and bring her to where you are? Tell her to get in touch, I've loved the contact from you and crave a simple single whisper from her.. .just so I know she's safe with you! You are so clever you'll figure this out for me and find her. Proud that you found your way to me but do it again to validate that she's made it, losing her broke my heart in two and I can't rest until I know she's happy and knows where she is, she was too young and full of innocence to be taken like that.

LegacyUser · 17-02-2015 8:21pm

Did you send the two doves on your anniversary? I've never seen them around here before. It was weirdly comforting but I think it means you are leaving us now. I'm selfish as I want your spirit here with us. Maybe it will always be?

banie01 · 24-02-2015 11:18am

Its a week shy of what would be the 19th anniversary of our 1st meeting/kiss.
I miss you still, and you are never far from my thoughts.
But no longer are they miserable thoughts of what "should have been" if you hadn't died, instead the thoughts are of our past, of our times shared and more often than not they spark a smile for us rather than tears.
So 8yrs after we lost you....
We are getting ready to share our home with someone new, to turn our family into a trio....
I won't lie Kate, me and monkey are both scared!

We've been on our own so long at home that we have a little men behaving badly vibe going on

And while that may have been cute in the short term....
In the long term we need to learn to hoover and pick up after ourselves
We don't quite live like pig's, but as I am rapidly relearning there is quite a difference between man-clean and actually clean! :P
But...
For some strange reason we have found someone who wants to share her life(she must be a sucker for punishment) with us and we both love her.
You aren't ever gonna be replaced, nor forgotten.
We love ya more than chips and always will...
We are lucky enough to have found out that loving someone new and having hope for a future again...
Doesn't mean forgetting you or what we shared, rather its writing some new chapters in our book and having hope for the future again.

Xoxo Kate.

Munstermad · 24-02-2015 8:54pm

Hey Dad, your 1st anniversary has just passed and I think only now the reality is sinking in.... God I'm missing you!!! Love you xxxxx

jaded_pause · 03-03-2015 2:49pm

Dad I'm so annoyed at you. I told you on saturday to stay with us for another week. Everyone is saying you knew it was your time to go. I know you weren't ready but they're trying to be comforting. Dave is being his usual, amazing self. He's dealing with everything I don't want to, or can't. I'm sorry I did that one thing you told me never to do. I understand now why. I've got your stubborness though (thanks for that) and I felt like I had to. Clair is being amazing too. Ben will be here on sunday.

You're the one person I call up when I need to vent about things and now I can't do that anymore. I wont ever get to hug you again. I wont ever see you online again. I wont ever roll my eyes at you and smirk when you tell me to stop drinking coke or quit smoking. And you wont ever lift up your mug at me and say "Pop the kettle on will you", or buy me little things you see when you're out and thought I might like.

I love you dad, you stubborn, grumpy old sod. And I promise I will make you proud.

Your daughter x

Zanablue · 03-03-2015 9:45pm

Hey dad, Your grandson is making his confirmation tomorrow and even tho you are not going to be with us, I know you will be looking down on us. He is growing into a lovely young lad and you would be so proud of him.

Dad I miss you so much, please keep watching over us. xx

Mam of 4 · 08-03-2015 9:11pm

Just to say thank you , to all of you , belonging to us , not with us physically but always in our hearts and minds. A few lines, not written by me , but on a plaque on my wall beside my angel corner.

A Whisper To An Angel .

Stand beside me ,
Hold my hand,
Lift me up
When life knocks me down,
Be with me
When I whisper my thoughts
And guide me on the path of life
That I may not falter..

Martin Burns.

Not my words , but thanks for always listening x

LegacyUser · 09-03-2015 5:49pm

You hear people talking about cancer and you never understand till you lose someone. Its so quick and you hold onto hope so you never say good bye or the things you`d like to say. Its not fair that you had to leave, for you and for them. I`m sorry for all the things I messed up and for not being worthy of your faith in me. I love you and I hope you knew that. You will never leave my mind, I can still hear your voice. What a pleasure to have been lucky enough to have known you!

25-03-2015 1:25am

You would have laughed at this Dad. You managed to get summoned for jury duty yesterday. Mam had to make an interesting phone call and even fill out a form for those morons to explain that you obviously can't make it. I think we all said the same thing when we saw the jury summons with your name on the kitchen table.

"Ha! Morons! He would have found this hilarious"

Zanablue · 25-03-2015 7:32pm

Hey Dad, I just want to wish you a Happy Birthday, I will have a drink later to celebrate like we used to. Miss you so much and we still all love you to bits.xxx

fussyonion · 29-03-2015 10:49pm

I miss you. I wish we'd have spoken more in recent times, but I always thought you'd be around forever.
I haven't stopped thinking about you since I heard the news. I can't believe you're gone. I miss you.

redshoes15 · 30-03-2015 5:23pm

For all your faults you are still the best man I have ever known & I miss you dearly. I hope you are ok and that all of your demons have gone. Please give us the strength to continue without you, 8 years but it feels like yesterday. I will miss you everyday of my life until we meet again..

etymon · 01-04-2015 8:57pm

I wish you could walk me down the aisle?!

jaded_pause · 07-04-2015 11:41am

Do you see the same stars as me at night?
I don't think you do
When I look up at the moon so bright
All I see is you.

Do you see the same stars as me at night?
The wind chill in the air
When I see those little tiny lights
My heart is in a snare.

Do you see the same stars as me at night?
It makes me feel so blue
Because when I see these pretty lights
I only think of you.

I'm starting to loathe these stars at night
And they're so far away
The spiteful moon, with it's jolly light
Couldn't even make you stay.

DeltaWhite · 07-04-2015 12:29pm

To Mam

Only 6 months since you passed and we get the news that Dad has cancer. I just cannot take anymore. I really cant. I must have been a right oul cnut in my past life to deserve the cards I keep being dealt. I don't believe in god, so I have absolutely no comfort at all. I don't have anything or anyone to "pray" to for hope. Even you passing hasn't brought me any solace or comfort because I don't feel like your spirit is with me. Wherever your spirit is I hope you can hear me pleading with you to keep Dad safe, please don't take him from me I just cannot cope without him. I am crumbling as it is without you, I cannot cope without Dad

Just cannot cope with anymore heartache. Why is it always the best people with the worst luck. He's going on his first holiday next week in 17 years. He does not deserve this cruel sentence on his plate now. I don't know who I'm praying to but please let the outcome be good for us all. We don't deserve this sh!t

Miss you Mamsy and please hear my prayers to you

12-04-2015 2:44am

Would trade the entire world for a chat with a pint and a bag of dry roasted peanuts in the local with you today old man. I've an idea but I need want your approval

david-jason-as-del-boy-from-only-fools-and-horses-875975561.jpg

"You know it makes sense" :pac:

LegacyUser · 14-04-2015 10:09pm

Such a short time has passed and already it feels like you've been gone forever, the silence is killing me, from now to infinity without you feels unbearable. Without that recording of your voice and those few photos you'd only exist in my mind, how can that be? I hate this new reality, life is not the same, life will never be the same again! I miss you and took you for granted when you were here, that stupid assumption that there was plenty of time, that bad things happened to others because we had never been visited by sickness or death. Why you? Sometimes I get confused with my realities, I wake up and think you're alive, other times I wake and I fear you are a character from my dreams and never actually existed, how messed up is that? Why can life begin with such joy and then become such a sinister end game? I rage at life because having you for that short time was a teasing torture of what true happiness can be but can never be fully experienced again! I don't want you there with the angels, I don't care for that, I want to manipulate time, find our parallel universe and live that true happiness with you one last time, fully appreciating every day with you, and for good measure live it in slow motion then leave the same time as you because I couldn't handle the pain of losing you all over again!

banie01 · 16-04-2015 1:39pm

8yrs...
I don't know where the time has gone, sometimes it feels like just yesterday...
Sometimes it feels like an eternity.
I get scared that I'm forgetting things, the sound of your laugh, the curve of your smile or the warmth of your hug....
Then I see our boy grinning at me, and I see those parts of you shine through.
Loved and missed always Kate...
More than chips xoxo...

P.S Knew today would be sunny &#55357;&#56879;

LadyAthame · 17-04-2015 5:52am

You taught me so many lessons. Mostly how kind and sweet you were.I love you. XX

jaded_pause · 18-04-2015 8:20pm

I'm going to learn how to drive in your car. I can just imagine your face if you were here now for me to tell you that!

I'm also going up to your house tomorrow and we're going to start cleaning out all your crap, good lord there's a lot of hoarded sh!t up there. I'm half afraid to consider the attic too. I'm not going to enjoy it. I'm not going to be much help.

I just want you to give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be alright. Everyone is looking after me as best they can though.

Oh! Dave got a call yesterday, he was shortlisted for an interview for his 'big job'! Soon my life will be changing again and you're not here for me to show you I can be a capable adult (mostly!). I miss you Dad, too much.

Lola18 · 26-04-2015 11:01pm

4weeks tomorrow, i went to ring you on tuesday to tell you about A meeting his principal for big school. He keeps mentioning you, walking around the shop he decided he needed a hug because he misses you. i miss you, i love you, and im sorry...i know you always hated to see me cry x

princess-lala · 29-04-2015 11:59pm

Nanny, i know i talk to you everyday but i just need you to know one little thing.

Daddy is coming back to you next week, he's ready now! He has fought so so bravely over the past seven months!!

Please mind him, you know how much I adore him!! He's the only man like a dad to me, he told me he's very excited to see you!

I love you both so so much xxx

Split · 30-04-2015 12:31am

On 03/03/15 you robbed your son back to you-way too young to become an angel. Is he alright now ? Did he know we spent 4 days praying he would recover before praying he would die ? . Their is no quenching the heartbreak of us all. Our dad cant get through a day without his heart tearing into a million pieces . We walk around and think of you both Im sorry that you dont see me at the graveyard I dont , I wont and I cant .
Tell J to watch everyone and stop making birds crap on us . Its not funny any more and Im getting my hair done next week and wont be impressed ! Your never really dead to me just stepped out of the room .. Miss and love you rogues

The Dash
by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth...
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars....the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard...
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash midrange.")

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile...
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
with your life's actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they
say about how you spend your dash?

SATSUMA · 30-04-2015 10:03am

It is supposed to get easier but for me it's getting harder. I cannot imagine my future without you and the thought of it fills me with terror. No one can really, truly understand another's loss. If i could press rewind on my life i would, and then i'd press pause but if i knew then what i know now i'd press fast forward so it never would have happened. You didn't deserve to die the way you did, i miss you and i love you. xxx

Payton · 30-04-2015 10:09pm

I come in here to this forum every now and then for no other reason that to get some type of solace from my mothers death 14 yrs ago and to read what I would call "Happy Stories" and never thinking id be writing a paragraph myself.

Our Sister Marie passed away on the 24th Feb...sick for 13 years with Cancer, I can only describe her as the most courageous person I've come across in my life...treatment after treatment and every time there was bad new we brought you back with the help of the wonderful staff at St. James.
The day we got the phone call to go to the hospital and to be told its only a matter of hours. Lost in emotions, fear of the unknown but we knew you were in the best of care. Life has just been going on the best we can, with dad in hospital and the burying of your ashes this weekend its been a bit of a roller coaster and its hard to let go.
I want to thank you for the beautiful memories you gave us, the way you stepped into the mother role when mam passed away was truly great.
To all your nephews and nieces the stories we have been told are so great of the love you had for them.
You've left a void that cant be replaced but the joy you brought into so many peoples lives in person or through the cancer society is a testament to your kind heart. Sleep well and watch over the little ones.

Life is too ironic, it takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence.

CarpeDiem85 · 30-04-2015 11:46pm

Mum, I miss you more and more everyday. I have yet to meet anyone else like you. You knew compassion and empathy like no one else I know now. Your softness and kindness made you the most wonderful and beautiful soul I have ever met. Your wee soft Donegal accent was just heavenly. The way you sat in your rocking chair by the warm range looking at the world through loving eyes and never a bad word spoke about anyone else. Your were unique, I wish I could copy you a million times over. I really hope I can be the same mother to my daughter as you were to me. You really are an inspiration to me.

The other day you knew I was upset about missing you and never meeting your grandchild. I brought her to her wee music lessons. She played with feathers there and then they were all tidied away. When we got home a few hours later, what did I find tucked inside her jumper, only a feather! Thank you for this sign that you are always with me. You are some woman for one woman, as you used to say

LadyAthame · 01-05-2015 12:50am

Remember when I used to do you hair?? :-) I love you so much xxx Please be with me ...and be happy! xxx

Only no looking in the toilet etc....

LegacyUser · 05-05-2015 11:09pm

At home for a few nights, but you're not here. Feels so different. Miss you so much. All the wonderful years we spent here, chatting about nights out 'anyone nice?' Sitting on the bed with two cups of tea and brown bread 'one slice with marmalade and the other without' 😊. I'm afraid of forgetting these small things. I'm afraid I'll forget how I felt being here at home, that comforting feeling of home. And all the chats we had. That easy relaxed way you had about you. I hope I can become more like that instead of 'always rushing and racing'.... I keep trying to imagine you're still here, just sitting downstairs watching TV or pottering around the kitchen. That familiar clanging of dishes as you religiously cleaned up before bed. I can still hear your walk on the stairs. I don't want to forget. Love you Mum xx

Things you'd like to say to them

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