Deal Breaker in a Relationship

lazygal · 27-08-2012 9:24pm

Dealbreakers for me would be:
-Not wanting the same things out of life. I went out with guys who weren't into serious commitment. As I always wanted to get married and have a family (in that order) it was a waste of time for both parties.
-Not being considerate. I know some people aren't into cards or sentimental things, but I am, and my husband respects that and looks after me. I look after him too. The little things can be massive issues in a relationship if you don't deal with them.
-Lack of ambition/get up and go. You don't need to be the head of Apple or a world leader, but I've always been quite ambitious and combined work and study, so someone who wasn't interested in doing well or was happy coasting in a job without seeing any need to go further wouldn't appeal to me.

grames_bond · 28-08-2012 9:12pm

Can I just make a quick comment on something that was mentioned previously;

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with working in dunnes, it is a legit full time job with promotion opportunities with EVERY possibility of successfully having a great and rewarding quality of life.

To bring it back on topic - anyone who looks down their nose at someone who "just" works in dunnes......THAT is a dealbreaker for me!

the_syco · 28-08-2012 11:49pm

grames_bond wrote: »

To bring it back on topic - anyone who looks down their nose at someone who "just" works in dunnes......THAT is a dealbreaker for me!

Agreed. Heck, I cleaned the floors of a local Uni for a few months between full-time jobs.

username123 · 29-08-2012 9:38am

the_syco wrote: »

Agreed. Heck, I cleaned the floors of a local Uni for a few months between full-time jobs.

I worked in the local supermarket for 7 years during school and college. Customers who had gotten to know me over that time would joke with me that the supermarket had very high standards for the staff, cos they had me doing a degree. I subsequently moved onto my 'real' job, but Id have no problem going back and working in the supermarket. Theres no shame in any job.

JustAThought · 31-08-2012 9:47am

Dealbreakers:
Smoking, Rotting teeth.

It would be nice if they had a similar temperature tolerance to me!!! I'm tired of the duvet on/off too hot/freezing thing!!!!
Long term it can really drag you down!

A non-snorer would be a L-T asset! It's hard to sustain nice& loving when you're permanently sleep deprived & narky :0

O;
And...gambler .I can forego sleep for years but definitely a gambler is a dealbreaker.

Or cloven feet. However pretty.

sky2424 · 02-09-2012 11:23am

Off the top of my head

Dislike: Someone whos lazy, stingy, treats other people badly, is dramatic needy or resentful.

Like: Someone with a 'sense of joie de vivre'....like randomly doing stuff just for the fun of it, not necessarily anything crazy but just someone whos not content sitting around all day doing nothing

RandolphEsq · 04-09-2012 9:11pm

Essentials; a bit ditzy but smart (not as smart as myself), not fat (as in big fat), some type of professional career.
Deal-breaker; obviously the opposite to the essentials listed above. Unable to cook (I can cook so I want her to cook for me also), makes me feel like she is emotionally dependent on me.

mood · 05-09-2012 3:10pm

RandolphEsq wrote: »

Essentials; a bit ditzy but smart (not as smart as myself), not fat (as in big fat), some type of professional career.
Deal-breaker; obviously the opposite to the essentials listed above. Unable to cook (I can cook so I want her to cook for me also), makes me feel like she is emotionally dependent on me.

Why would you not want to go out with someone as smart or smarter than you? Very odd!

hatrickpatrick · 06-09-2012 10:52pm

mood wrote: »

Why would you not want to go out with someone as smart or smarter than you? Very odd!

I suspect t's a bit like how watching the Inbetweeners always makes you fleetingly feel like a smooth talking legend

hatrickpatrick · 06-09-2012 10:59pm

As in the OP, independence is a huge thing for me. I want a girl to be with me because she likes my company and finds me attractive - not because she's dependent on me. A lot of people might immediately assume that's referring to money, but it actually applies pretty much across the board.
I'd rather she be with me because she wants[/] to be, not because she needs to be. Under that umbrella is not expecting to be with me literally 24/7 to the point where I start missing out on everything else and losing touch with people.

The amazing thing is, the whole concept of the 'overly attached girlfriend', as 4chan likes to put it, is such a universal stereotype, yet in my real life experience I know far more girls who claim their BFs are too possessive - so could it be that for some reason, cat people unwittingly gravitate towards dog people and vice versa?

floggg · 07-09-2012 10:19am

Sounds shallow but I was on a date a while back and the guy mentioned something about being into Star Trek within the first 5 minutes.

He was an otherwise really nice guy but I knew in that instant things could never work out.

CastorTroy · 07-09-2012 11:01am

floggg wrote: »

Sounds shallow but I was on a date a while back and the guy mentioned something about being into Star Trek within the first 5 minutes.

He was an otherwise really nice guy but I knew in that instant things could never work out.

So you're a Star Wars fan then?

Interests like that wouldn't bother me unless taken to the extreme. For example if he had turned up dressed a klingon and just spoke klingon the whole time, then I'd see your point.

If things like that bothered people, I would know a lot of guys who would be single due to the amount of crap like X Factor and Big Brother their girlfriends watch.

But to each their own, I suppose.

floggg · 07-09-2012 12:19pm

CastorTroy wrote: »

So you're a Star Wars fan then?

Interests like that wouldn't bother me unless taken to the extreme. For example if he had turned up dressed a klingon and just spoke klingon the whole time, then I'd see your point.

If things like that bothered people, I would know a lot of guys who would be single due to the amount of crap like X Factor and Big Brother their girlfriends watch.

But to each their own, I suppose.

No, I'm neither.

I don't mind anybody being into it, but I just know it wouldn't work. I couldn't fathom having to watch that sort of stuff.

I don't believe that you have to share each others hobbies and interest but there has to be a degree of compatibility. You need to be able to share each others interests, even if you don't necessarily enjoy them all that much yourself.

Des Carter · 07-09-2012 12:26pm

for me dealbreakers would include smokers, tattoos, drug habits, heavy drinkers (this can include girls with drinking problems or just girls that drink way to much and end up passing out or throwing up all the time on a night out). Also she would need to have some general cop-on, wouldn't be able to stand a daft or ditzy gf.

Finally for a bit of controversy I wouldn't go out with someone who had a history of being promiscuous. Ya I know, how backward of me but everyone to their own.

mood · 07-09-2012 12:27pm

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I suspect t's a bit like how watching the Inbetweeners always makes you fleetingly feel like a smooth talking legend

Needing/wanting to feel superior in a relationship is not good. I think someone who like that must be massively insecure.

username123 · 07-09-2012 12:41pm

Des Carter wrote: »

Finally for a bit of controversy I wouldn't go out with someone who had a history of being promiscuous. Ya I know, how backward of me but everyone to their own.

Whats a history of being promiscuous? A virgin or just a lower number than you?

What about if she did everything but penetration with other guys? What if she wore slutty outfits but wouldnt put out?

Sorry Im teasing, but Im genuinely interested in knowing what you define as promiscuous?

JustAThought · 07-09-2012 2:25pm

username123 wrote: »

Des Carter wrote: »

Finally for a bit of controversy I wouldn't go out with someone who had a history of being promiscuous. Ya I know, how backward of me but everyone to their own.

Whats a history of being promiscuous? A virgin or just a lower number than you?
What about if she did everything but penetration with other guys? What if she wore slutty outfits but wouldnt put out?

Sorry Im teasing, but Im genuinely interested in knowing what you define as promiscuous?

Haha ;fair point!!
But, there's a thread where someone asks if it's "OK" to go out with a prostitute. And many do-goooders cheerlead him on.
From
My perspective " prostitute" or ex-prostitute falls into the category of promiscuous.
As does someone who behaves like one ; repeatedly dates & benefits from someone she's " not really into" for gain . Regardless of numerical value.
Somethin to do with values...

opinion guy · 07-09-2012 2:29pm

Anyone else hear that can of worms opening ?

floggg · 07-09-2012 2:30pm

JustAThought wrote: »

username123 wrote: »

Des Carter wrote: »

Finally for a bit of controversy I wouldn't go out with someone who had a history of being promiscuous. Ya I know, how backward of me but everyone to their own.

Whats a history of being promiscuous? A virgin or just a lower number than you?
What about if she did everything but penetration with other guys? What if she wore slutty outfits but wouldnt put out?

Sorry Im teasing, but Im genuinely interested in knowing what you define as promiscuous?

Haha ;fair point!!
But, there's a thread where someone asks if it's "OK" to go out with a prostitute. And many do-goooders cheerlead him on.
From
My perspective " prostitute" or ex-prostitute falls into the category of promiscuous.
As does someone who behaves like one ; repeatedly dates & benefits from someone she's " not really into" for gain . Regardless of numerical value.
Somethin to do with values...

Whether they are paid in cash money or other benefits in kind, a person who sleeps with somebody for material gain only is a prostitute.

I wouldn't mind going out with somebody who had played the field heavily before getting with me though, as long as that of we both agreed it was monogamous it remained that way.

Piliger · 07-09-2012 6:05pm

floggg wrote: »

Whether they are paid in cash money or other benefits in kind, a person who sleeps with somebody for material gain only is a prostitute.

I guess it makes you feel better when you can slap a nasty label on people you don't approve of.

If that were so - a huge part of the female population including all footballers an other celebs wives are prostitutes ... you don't think they marry those dicks for their personality do you ? :rolleyes:

JustAThought · 08-09-2012 12:15am

Well Mr Nasty Labeller...
So all footballers are Dicks ?

Des Carter · 08-09-2012 1:00am

username123 wrote: »

Whats a history of being promiscuous? A virgin or just a lower number than you?
What about if she did everything but penetration with other guys? What if she wore slutty outfits but wouldnt put out?

Sorry Im teasing, but Im genuinely interested in knowing what you define as promiscuous?

well I dont really have a definition of promiscuous as such its not like I wont date someone who has been with 20 guys but 19 would be ok. Personally I would be fairly inexperienced in this area mostly because im not into the whole ONS thing and I only sleep with someone if Im in a long term commited relationship where there are genuine feelings involved (personal choice everyone to their own) and as a result I dont think it would work out with someone who has had a colourfull history.

Also in my experience girls who are involved in a lot of sexual behaviour are often involved for the wrong reasons i.e seeking male attention to feel like their loved or to feel wanted. (I know this isnt always the case)

Smeggy · 08-09-2012 7:47pm

No deal breakers for me, what if you meet the most amazing person ever and they have one negative trait on your list!!

.....I'll take anything

Princess Peach · 08-09-2012 9:11pm

floggg wrote: »

Sounds shallow but I was on a date a while back and the guy mentioned something about being into Star Trek within the first 5 minutes.

He was an otherwise really nice guy but I knew in that instant things could never work out.

Someone having a deal breaker like this is a deal breaker for me, even though I don't think that logically makes sense :pac:

I love star trek and star wars, my boyfriend doesn't So we don't watch it together.

I think that's a weird stigma to have.

Daveysil15 · 12-09-2012 9:52am

Gonorrhea.

username123 · 12-09-2012 5:11pm

Des Carter wrote: »

well I dont really have a definition of promiscuous as such its not like I wont date someone who has been with 20 guys but 19 would be ok. Personally I would be fairly inexperienced in this area mostly because im not into the whole ONS thing and I only sleep with someone if Im in a long term commited relationship where there are genuine feelings involved (personal choice everyone to their own) and as a result I dont think it would work out with someone who has had a colourfull history.

Also in my experience girls who are involved in a lot of sexual behaviour are often involved for the wrong reasons i.e seeking male attention to feel like their loved or to feel wanted. (I know this isnt always the case)

Hey, its totally up to you what you are comfortable with - Im certainly not judging you!

I would say, at the ripe old age of nearly 40, and a married woman at that, that Im sorry I wasnt more promiscuous when I was younger and had the opportunity!! If I could go back and I knew then what I know now, I would have slept around more for sure. Discreetly of course

Strawberry Fields · 12-09-2012 7:56pm

username123 wrote: »

Hey, its totally up to you what you are comfortable with - Im certainly not judging you!

I would say, at the ripe old age of nearly 40, and a married woman at that, that Im sorry I wasnt more promiscuous when I was younger and had the opportunity!! If I could go back and I knew then what I know now, I would have slept around more for sure. Discreetly of course

So what is it you know now that you didn't know then?
Please share.

username123 · 12-09-2012 8:08pm

godeas16 wrote: »

So what is it you know now that you didn't know then?
Please share.

That the glory days of youth dont last forever and that when you look back, its never the things you did do that you regret, its the things you didnt.

enfant terrible · 12-09-2012 8:11pm

username123 wrote: »

That the glory days of youth dont last forever and that when you look back, its never the things you did do that you regret, its the things you didnt.

Feck it i'm heading out tonight.

Strawberry Fields · 12-09-2012 8:12pm

username123 wrote: »

That the glory days of youth dont last forever and that when you look back, its never the things you did do that you regret, its the things you didnt.

I actually regret a lot of things I did, I'm 31 and like all Men I regret not sleeping around more.

username123 · 12-09-2012 8:30pm

godeas16 wrote: »

I actually regret a lot of things I did, I'm 31 and like all Men I regret not sleeping around more.

Sleep around more!! Someday you will be married/civil partnershipped/too old to attract anyone - and you will look back and think - should have done it more when I could have.

Daveysil15 · 13-09-2012 9:00pm

username123 wrote: »

I would say, at the ripe old age of nearly 40, and a married woman at that, that Im sorry I wasnt more promiscuous when I was younger and had the opportunity!! If I could go back and I knew then what I know now, I would have slept around more for sure. Discreetly of course

Yeah I don't think any person on their death bed is going to say, "Ohh I wish I slept with less people." Although not everyone can just sleep around when they want to. It's easier said than done.

username123 · 13-09-2012 9:43pm

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Yeah I don't think any person on their death bed is going to say, "Ohh I wish I slept with less people." Although not everyone can just sleep around when they want to. It's easier said than done.

It certainly doesnt get any easier with age!

manjosh · 02-05-2015 5:49pm

My deal breaker is usually lazy girls. When a girl is a lazy, it really just turn my soul off imediately.
The funny things about lazy girls, atleast the ones i have dated is that they are always tired!!!. I mean you have'nt gotten out of that chair since morning!!. How is that even possible.

Wibbs · 02-05-2015 6:17pm

Manjosh, for god's sake please can we have no more multiple instances of resurrecting long dead threads. Closed.

Deal Breaker in a Relationship

Comments