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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

  • 21-05-2012 3:28pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,824 ✭✭✭✭


    Before posting in this thread, make sure you have read and understood the overall forum charter. The Gentlemens Club, has a specific ethos and purpose, if you can't post within that, then you shouldn't post.

    The Online Dating Thread Rules:

    (1) No chit chat
    Means NO chit chat that does not relate to Online Dating/Experiences.
    ANY post deemed to be off topic will be deleted and you may face a ban or other sanction.

    (2) Off topic Posts

    If you see a post that is off topic, do not engage in the discussion, report the post.
    Note-Engaging in off topic discussion may also get you a ban or other sanction.

    (3) This thread IS NOT for a place to pick up
    Do not come in here to pick up a boardsie, your posts will be deleted. If in the Mods view, this is why you have come to our forum, then you will end up banned, possibly permanently.
    Similarly, this is not a thread in which to learn the art of "Picking up" someone. It is against the Charter of the forum, therefore it carries a Permanent Ban.

    (4) Your Online Dating Profile

    Please do not ask for other boardsies to view your Online Dating Profile on thread. They clog up the thread and cause off topic discussion.
    If you do wish for a certain poster to view your Online Dating Profile, please use the PM function and ask the poster you wish to view your profile if they would mind obliging.

    (5) Be civil to your fellow boardsies
    There is a zero toleration policy on posts deemed to be in any way derogatory/offensive.

    (6) A Mod's decision IS FINAL.
    Ignorance of this warning is not an excuse.

    (7) Do not quote pics or link to someone's ID profile, or include their. amd/any other identifying info in any post

    (8) Be careful what you post
    Many boardsies enjoy the idea of not having their boards account/persona known by their "real life" friends, boss, co-workers etc. If this is you, please don't post facts and information about your personal life that will lead to you losing this relative anonymity. Basically, think before you post.
    Tagged:


«134567194

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    So do people have any dates planned?? Or success stories :D



    Lar will kill me :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    Meeting a lass during the week. That's about it really. Was supposed to go to a gala with the same girl but she was exhausted so Connect 4 tournament part deux is ooooonnnn like donkey kong.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Pembily wrote: »
    So do people have any dates planned?? Or success stories :D



    Lar will kill me :pac:


    I'm supposed to have a date this week. He wanted me to go yesterday, but gave me only a few hours of notice, and I was hungover.

    Haven't signed into my accounts in about a week, though.

    Cinema date seems like a very bad first date IMO, which is what my guy has asked me on. Hmm.


    Anyone else got any dates?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,399 ✭✭✭KamiKazeKitten


    Yay online dating thread!


    I think pof has me in Cork today, the amount of views from there...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    LyndaMcL wrote: »
    Cinema date seems like a very bad first date IMO, which is what my guy has asked me on. Hmm.

    I hate cinema dates... I don't mind going to the cinema with people I know but to go to a cinema with a lass I don't know at all... IN SILENCE... is a terrible idea in my opinion.


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  • Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,504 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    Cinema Date would be a bad choice i'd have guessed. what if you didnt like the person? you'd be stuck there for 2 hours!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    Cinema Date would be a bad choice i'd have guessed. what if you didnt like the person? you'd be stuck there for 2 hours!

    You probably won't even get to make up your mind as to whether or not you like the person given that you've barely had a chance to talk.


  • Registered Users Posts: 306 ✭✭timmy880


    Sort of struggling at the moment. Was talking to a girl on okc and things were going great. Loads in common and we sent loads of messages so obviously it seemed normal to ask her out to which she replied she was just out of a serious relationship with someone she had met off the site and wasnt ready to meet anyone else. She is logged into the site every single day though.... :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    timmy880 wrote: »
    Sort of struggling at the moment. Was talking to a girl on okc and things were going great. Loads in common and we sent loads of messages so obviously it seemed normal to ask her out to which she replied she was just out of a serious relationship with someone she had met off the site and wasnt ready to meet anyone else. She is logged into the site every single day though.... :(

    I don't get that. It's a DATING SITE.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    Messaged a girl on POF on the weekend, got back a torrent of text speak. Decided to give the benefit of the doubt and try to push on the conversation and got a bit of back and forth all in text speak so just gave up after a while.

    Thinking of quitting online dating and just get a cat. :pac:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    Maguined wrote: »
    Messaged a girl on POF on the weekend, got back a torrent of text speak. Decided to give the benefit of the doubt and try to push on the conversation and got a bit of back and forth all in text speak so just gave up after a while.

    Thinking of quitting online dating and just get a cat. :pac:

    I don't like cats, so there is no hope for me at all!

    I am not giving up, with OD you have to take it with a grain of salt and have a very tough skin!


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    Pembily wrote: »
    I don't like cats, so there is no hope for me at all!

    I am not giving up, with OD you have to take it with a grain of salt and have a very tough skin!

    Yeah it's not the rejection or anything like that as it doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's the boredom of logging in to constantly see the same people over and over. I understand why now any "fresh meat" get's assaulted by dozens of messages once they join up as there are hundreds of bored people just waiting for something new and different.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 684 ✭✭✭Polloloca


    Was asked on POF what my problem was with guys looking for casual sex, and suggested I should be flattered. I think I'm just on that for the lol factor. Real life is going a bit better than online.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    Maguined wrote: »
    Yeah it's not the rejection or anything like that as it doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's the boredom of logging in to constantly see the same people over and over. I understand why now any "fresh meat" get's assaulted by dozens of messages once they join up as there are hundreds of bored people just waiting for something new and different.

    And it was the same on Beautiful People, I saw the same faces :( :rolleyes:

    POF has different faces BUT there are nearly tooo many!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 903 ✭✭✭Herrick


    Got chatting to really cute and friendly girl (practically my dream girl :P) on Sat night, spent the night and following morning messaging. She was sending lots of nice big long messages, seemed really really keen, I was thinking, may have a possible date here :)

    Sent a reply last night. She was online and she was on for a bit today, nothing, think I've been blanked again :(

    I know it hasn't been a day yet, but with my recent experiences of being blanked after I thought it was going well, I'm very cynical :cool:

    Oh another thing... A girl I exchanged a few messages with earlier last week, stopped replying for three or four days but was online a lot (the chat option for her showed up on my inbox) started messaging me like crazy last night all interested. I'm not sure kinda fells like I may be a consolation prize cause it didn't work out with someone else?

    What would you lot do? Feel the same and ignore or go with the flow and see what happens?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    Herrick wrote: »
    Got chatting to really cute and friendly girl (practically my dream girl :P) on Sat night, spent the night and following morning messaging. She was sending lots of nice big long messages, seemed really really keen, I was thinking, may have a possible date here :)

    Sent a reply last night. She was online and she was on for a bit today, nothing, think I've been blanked again :(

    I know it hasn't been a day yet, but with my recent experiences of being blanked after I thought it was going well, I'm very cynical :cool:

    Oh another thing... A girl I exchanged a few messages with earlier last week, stopped replying for three or four days but was online a lot (the chat option for her showed up on my inbox) started messaging me like crazy last night all interested. I'm not sure kinda fells like I may be a consolation prize cause it didn't work out with someone else?

    What would you lot do? Feel the same and ignore or go with the flow and see what happens?
    Personally, stop messaging her! I had faith and I thought otherwise but do you really want to be someone's second fiddle? If a guy isn't messaging me regularly, or stopping during the weekend, I stop messaging, I am someones first choice or they don't get a chance.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 903 ✭✭✭Herrick


    Pembily wrote: »
    Personally, stop messaging her! I had faith and I thought otherwise but do you really want to be someone's second fiddle? If a guy isn't messaging me regularly, or stopping during the weekend, I stop messaging, I am someones first choice or they don't get a chance.

    Thanks Pembily :) No I don't, that's for sure. I was thinking maybe it was because there's a bit of distance (1hr 30 drive) and she hasn't got a car. I figured maybe she was more interested in someone close to home.

    But sure I suppose that wouldn't stop you if you were really interested.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,683 ✭✭✭✭Owen


    Got date. She smokes, which is a toughie for me, but we've connected well otherwise, so maybe I'll get over it/she'll give up. Who knows!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    Herrick wrote: »
    Thanks Pembily :) No I don't, that's for sure. I was thinking maybe it was because there's a bit of distance (1hr 30 drive) and she hasn't got a car. I figured maybe she was more interested in someone close to home.

    But sure I suppose that wouldn't stop you if you were really interested.

    If someone is interested they will make the effort! Trust me.

    Owen, best of luck!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Cinema Date would be a bad choice i'd have guessed. what if you didnt like the person? you'd be stuck there for 2 hours!

    You could say the same thing about going on a dinner date. That's worse. Having to watch them eat for 2 hours!

    Pembily wrote: »
    I am not giving up, with OD you have to take it with a grain of salt and have a very tough skin!

    Or take a break from it. ;)
    Owen wrote: »
    Got date. She smokes, which is a toughie for me, but we've connected well otherwise, so maybe I'll get over it/she'll give up. Who knows!

    Everyone has their vices! Once you can't smell it/taste it off her, it's not really a problem. Yeah, she will probably have COPD in 30 years time but sure just live for now! :pac: Seriously though, if there's a connection its not too big a thing to over look, right?

    Fingers crossed for you. :)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,647 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    Seriously considering deleting my POF account. Absolutely NOTHING happening.


  • Registered Users Posts: 367 ✭✭ladylost


    Seriously considering deleting my POF account.

    thinking of doing the same.. I'm chatting with a few guys but don't think any of them are really interested in me... keeping me on the back burner so to speak. As i haven't been pushing to meet any of them either I think maybe I'm not that interested either. Don't want to be messing anyone around.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,561 ✭✭✭GrumPy


    Have a date arranged for next week. We'll see though! She's in Italy this week, may not be interested meeting up still when she gets back, so meh.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,647 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    ladylost wrote: »
    thinking of doing the same.. I'm chatting with a few guys but don't think any of them are really interested in me... keeping me on the back burner so to speak. As i haven't been pushing to meet any of them either I think maybe I'm not that interested either. Don't want to be messing anyone around.

    AT least you're actually chatting to people!!! I've sent messages/tried to chat with people, but got no replies


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 670 ✭✭✭C.D.


    So I'm back on the market after a few months! A bit hesitant to get back into online dating.. let's just say from reading our (hilarious) threads the people who have success are the very lucky and small minority!

    So, from memory, I'd have to look through 30 or so profiles to find one I would really be interested in. This might take 10 minutes.

    I'd take 10 minutes, on average to read a profile and write a nice message.
    Total Time: 20 minutes

    I would get a 15% response rate to messages.
    Total Time: 130 minutes to get one reply

    The bulk of the messages would lead nowhere they might fizzle out or we might not be compatible. Let's say I exchange 5 messages before it either ends or progresses to SMS.
    Total Time: 180 minutes to get a good conversation

    One in 5 might lead to a date.
    Total Time: 900 minutes to get a date

    I'm essentially spending 15 hours to get a date. I honestly do not think my calculations are far off. Out of all the dates I've been on from OD I ended up seeing one girl, who was lovely, for a short while but it was going nowhere. I honestly do not think it is worth the investment of time needed to get a return! I would be very curious to hear from my fellow boardsies how much time they have to put in to get a date! Maybe I'm too picky, but that's another thread :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    Definite feast or famine territory for me. I went from nothing happening to getting several numbers in the space of a few days. Although I am sort of just trying to concentrate on one girl at a time. I met up with a girl last night for a while. We started chatting on Sat night on the phone and got on like a house on fire. However I'm not sure it was quite the same in person.

    At the end she asked if I fancied going out again and I said ok so she said we'd arrange something after I get back from a short trip away. Although if I'm honest, I get the impression neither of us are that interested.

    But at the same time, it wasn't one of those cases where I definitely wasn't interested. In these situations I always try to remember two couples I know who are now married and who weren't so enamoured with each other the first time they met but which changed as time went on.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Hooray I get my first post in the shiny new thread to be a positive one. Was mailing a girl from POF all week. We exchanged numbers yesterday and have penciled in a date for Monday (as we are both quite busy this week). She seems quite cool so hopefully it goes well.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Give her the benefit of another date G-Money, especially if you got on well on the phone.

    First date nerves are a killer at times, and can cause people to be cautious, or on their best behaviour, or overly chatty or of course drink too much and yes sometimes it takes more than one or two dates to figure out if you like someone.

    Speaking from personal experience my first encounter with the guy I'm now dating a few months, was a complete disaster but we hung out a few times, letting things progress into 'something' and we're happy out :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 670 ✭✭✭C.D.


    yes sometimes it takes more than one or two drinks to figure out if you like someone.

    FYP :D


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,363 ✭✭✭Misty Chaos


    First time posting in this type of thread and being honest, I have no idea what I am doing! I send messages often enough but rarely get anything back. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I do my best to type a good opening message but nothing seems to come out of it. :(

    I'm considering deleting my POF and OKcupid profiles at this rate as nothing EVER seems to happen for me.


  • Registered Users Posts: 367 ✭✭ladylost


    AT least you're actually chatting to people!!! I've sent messages/tried to chat with people, but got no replies

    I've lost count of the messages I sent and got no reply. Pretty much anyone I'm chatting to contacted me first. Seems all the guys I think I would have something in common with or find attractive don't see the same in me :-(
    Unfortunately that's the ups and downs of Internet dating.
    You seem pretty fed up with it for weeks now. Maybe you should take a break for a few weeks. It may be coming across in your messages even though you intend it to?
    Maybe I should take my own advice too


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,903 ✭✭✭Napper Hawkins


    To those of you who are currently thinking of giving up and packing it in......

    Don't give up.

    Roughly a year ago I took the advice of a friend and signed up to this shit.

    I had recently become single after a long relationship so I was not really in a clear state of mind at all and desperate to fill the void of loneliness that I was no longer used to.
    Looking back at how naive I was to the whole thing makes me cringe something awful when I think about it!

    It's a cliché I know but a thick skin is what you're gonna need for it, the problem with that is your skin won't thicken until you've experienced a whole new world of crap that will make you wonder why you ever thought picking someone up on a night out was the harder option.

    Be prepared for rejection, no replies, angry messages from nutcases who can't handle being ignored, fake profiles, teases, idiots who treat it like Facebook etc. I saw most of it.

    But it's worth it, seriously it is. I met my girlfriend of 8 months on POF and she's the business. You can accuse me of bragging, don't give a flying pigs toss honestly.

    You wanna know how long it took before I met her? How long I spent torturing myself with this bollox? All the ****ty dates (some good ones, to be fair, but mainly ****e) I suffered through?

    6 months. 6 poxy months. That's how long it took, while Joe Howya had probably rode that many girls monthly by being a sleazy prat in a nightclub. But that wasn't what I was after, which made it all the more difficult and frustrating.

    By the time I met her I was so utterly fed up and jaded with the whole thing that I really was on the cusp of giving up, then bang, all went better than expected. :)

    I also want to say that this thread and the folks who look after it were f'in class to me and everyone else who were going through this ****e at the time, as I'm sure they were themselves. So.....cheers lads and lassies, ye know who you are! ;)

    It can work out, if you're prepared to stick it out and put in some hard work. You will get knocked back, ignored and in some cases insulted.
    Word of advice?
    Be nice, even to arseholes.

    Don't get drunk and write stupid angry **** out of frustration (guilty:o)

    and just don't take it that seriously. It's a head melt, but the rewards are class.

    Good luck everyone!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    6 months. 6 poxy months. That's how long it took,

    Try 2 years :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,903 ✭✭✭Napper Hawkins


    Samich wrote: »
    Try 2 years :(

    I remember you alright, chief!

    Still no joy? I dunno what to tell you, man, can only go on my own experiences of it all. I realise it's different for everyone.

    It's a living nightmare for lads though, that's certainly true alright.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 209 ✭✭MarkyTheLips


    Herrick wrote: »
    Got chatting to really cute and friendly girl (practically my dream girl :P) on Sat night, spent the night and following morning messaging. She was sending lots of nice big long messages, seemed really really keen, I was thinking, may have a possible date here :)

    Sent a reply last night. She was online and she was on for a bit today, nothing, think I've been blanked again :(

    I know it hasn't been a day yet, but with my recent experiences of being blanked after I thought it was going well, I'm very cynical :cool:

    Oh another thing... A girl I exchanged a few messages with earlier last week, stopped replying for three or four days but was online a lot (the chat option for her showed up on my inbox) started messaging me like crazy last night all interested. I'm not sure kinda fells like I may be a consolation prize cause it didn't work out with someone else?

    What would you lot do? Feel the same and ignore or go with the flow and see what happens?

    Hi Herrick :) .. I've always reckoned that some men/women treat POF as a guilty ego boost. They may have no intention of ever actually meeting someone but they like a quick fix of attention when things are going slow IRL. I've had some great dates (and one disaster :pac: ) from it but always been conscious that it's a bigger numbers game than IRL. The sheer amount of messages that women get on it compared to most guys is probably disproportionate, not counting the psychos licking virtual windows (VMware anyone?). You're obviously an engaging sort with a helping of sensitivity so stick to your guns and be confident in your dealings 'til you just click :)

    To FINALLY answer your question, I'd try to be philosophical about it.. the only way a
    man can be harmed by others is to allow his reaction to overpower him. Oh and another thing, sure it's just a bitta craic :D


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,647 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    I remember you alright, chief!

    Still no joy? I dunno what to tell you, man, can only go on my own experiences of it all. I realise it's different for everyone.

    It's a living nightmare for lads though, that's certainly true alright.

    True


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 608 ✭✭✭LoTwan


    I met a guy last night. He can't kiss to save his life. Alas I cannot settle for a bad kisser so I'm back to sending first messages again.

    Glad to see the new thread up & going.

    I think I need to completely overhaul my profile :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭wobblyknees


    So, we moved on from funny and friendly texting, to a few hours on the phone at the weekend. We are meeting at the weekend for dinner. She's different. I still like her. Keep watching this space.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    Have a date with a guy from POF next week. I deleted my profile two or three weeks ago but we had exchanged numbers before that and been texting back and forth a bit. He spends a lot of time in London and I've had a few weekends away in a row, but finally meeting up next week, so fingers crossed!

    I've also had another guy who completely wasted my time on POF ask me to rejoin "just for him" loads of times. I'm like, fcuk off, A) you've already told me you've no intention of meeting anyone from it B) if you want to contact me you have my number and C) you're just annoying me at this stage anyway.


  • Registered Users Posts: 146 ✭✭dub5


    I am getting a bit fed up of POF too, think I need a break from it. But anyone that is thinking of deleting their profiles, I would recommend just "hiding your profile". At least if you decide to give POF another go, then you can just unhide it, rather than having to set up a new profile and filling in all those details etc again


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Semele


    Very promising date last week with a good-looking guy I got on well with and had loads in common with...until the end of the night when we discussed meeting up again and he informed me that if that were to happen he is "not prepared to share" so we would have to be exclusive, no matter how casual:eek: We did argue a bit over that, but mostly hypothetically and I was so thrown by it that the oddness of it didn't really sink in till the next day.

    He was then so full-on with constant texting all week I told him last night that there was no way I'd consider someone I've met once an exclusive partner, to which I got a reply detailing his insecurity that I would be "seeing other people in secret"* if we didn't agree to exclusivity and that if I couldn't do that we should just stop it now.

    Honestly! I actually really liked him before that and he seemed so confident and sorted. It's ironic that had he not said anything I would have happily stopped dating anyone else to give it a proper shot, but the whiff of controllingness put me right off.

    *This was the bit that really got me! "In secret"?? I'm a total stranger. Everything about my life is effectively a secret from him at this point- its not like he has a right to know everything I do! Madness


  • Registered Users Posts: 53 ✭✭Wink


    Hey all, so I posted in the old thread about my lovely boyfriend whom I met on okcupid. Unfortunately said lovely boyfriend is now ex boyfriend :(

    Was quite upset for a while but have had plenty of icecream, red wine & a good long chat with myself & am now on the road to recovery.

    So I'm thinking that I'd like to start using okcupid again. I had deleted my account & have just signed up with a new username etc (new me!) but I really don't want my ex plus a few other scary types I went on dates with before I met my ex to see me. If I hide them, can they still see me? Can I block them if they haven't messaged me first?

    Thanks guys :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 367 ✭✭ladylost


    Got a funny one last night. A guy that started messaging me the other night asked me if I had any other pictures as I look "under the weather" in the one he has!! I didn't send him a pick don't think and there isn't any showing on my profile. So I asked what pic it was and maybe that's just the way I look. He then said I look very grey in said pic!! Time move on me thinks!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 367 ✭✭ladylost


    Wink wrote: »
    Hey all, so I posted in the old thread about my lovely boyfriend whom I met on okcupid. Unfortunately said lovely boyfriend is now ex boyfriend :(

    Was quite upset for a while but have had plenty of icecream, red wine & a good long chat with myself & am now on the road to recovery.

    So I'm thinking that I'd like to start using okcupid again. I had deleted my account & have just signed up with a new username etc (new me!) but I really don't want my ex plus a few other scary types I went on dates with before I met my ex to see me. If I hide them, can they still see me? Can I block them if they haven't messaged me first?

    Thanks guys :)

    Sorry to hear that Wink.
    Hiding them means you don't see them but they still see you I think. Don't think you can block until they message


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    So I'm back on the market after a few months! A bit hesitant to get back into online dating.. let's just say from reading our (hilarious) threads the people who have success are the very lucky and small minority!

    So, from memory, I'd have to look through 30 or so profiles to find one I would really be interested in. This might take 10 minutes.

    I'd take 10 minutes, on average to read a profile and write a nice message.
    Total Time: 20 minutes

    I would get a 15% response rate to messages.
    Total Time: 130 minutes to get one reply

    The bulk of the messages would lead nowhere they might fizzle out or we might not be compatible. Let's say I exchange 5 messages before it either ends or progresses to SMS.
    Total Time: 180 minutes to get a good conversation

    One in 5 might lead to a date.
    Total Time: 900 minutes to get a date

    I'm essentially spending 15 hours to get a date. I honestly do not think my calculations are far off. Out of all the dates I've been on from OD I ended up seeing one girl, who was lovely, for a short while but it was going nowhere. I honestly do not think it is worth the investment of time needed to get a return! I would be very curious to hear from my fellow boardsies how much time they have to put in to get a date! Maybe I'm too picky, but that's another thread

    Excellent post. I have to agree that the effort and time versus the outcome in my case is not worth it. I also find that I am incredibly bored and frustrated with the OD thing. Having said that I do think my approach to OD sucks. I use crappy photos, my profile is either over eager or meh sounding. I think deep down I don't want someone and yet I do. I often see profiles and their uber confidence, look at me thing just puts me off and if I be very honest, I feel inferior (sad but true). If I do meet someone it usually just once, often we get on well but then I hear nothing despite them saying we will meet again. When I used to go out to the pub / club in real life I can at least make eye contact and know within nano seconds whether I fancy the look of a man and equally whether he likes the look of me. It is so much quicker in real life. All the searching through profiles, e-mailing, getting very little response or if I do it is a one liner or have a quick shag type mail is just boring at this stage. Yet I met my ex via OD and despite him being my ex, I am really glad of the experience and the great feelings I had when we were together (initially).

    I think Napper Hawkins is right, don't give up but I think something has just gone inside of me now and I can't be bothered even though I feel lonely. I don't go out socially nowadays except for work functions and well that is work. I find singledom is at least safer even if it feels a bit grey and boring.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    Also what I find with OD is that the standard of intelligent, interesting conversation is fast becoming extinct. I get so bored of the:
    'hey how's it going'
    Me: 'fine. how are you' - at this point my insides are withering
    Them: 'so what are you up to'
    Me: 'not much, you' - inside my head is screaming I'm on fooking online you idiot, that is what I am doing.
    Them: 'so do you have a pic...' - eventually I get so bored of these one liners that go nowhere and relate nothing to my profile or show any genuine interest in me as a human being (and subsequently find myself treating them in the same manner) I give up and log off.

    If someone said which would you prefer; looks or brains, it would have to be brains every time.

    Also whilst I am on my whinge fest, I wish people would read / respond to profiles. I do but there is a lack of civility online that depresses me. I realise that I find online life depressing because when I first started it in 2000 it was fun and exciting. I met guys who had interesting profiles and were interesting in real life - they even became long term relationships. I think it was where all the cool, intelligent and nerdy men were hanging out but now they have been squeezed out by the above.


  • Registered Users Posts: 53 ✭✭Wink


    ladylost wrote: »

    Sorry to hear that Wink.
    Hiding them means you don't see them but they still see you I think. Don't think you can block until they message

    Thanks Ladylost, I had a google round & got two different answers on the okcupid help blogs. One saying they could see you if hidden & the other saying they couldn't. I suppose ex will have to deal with it & if the weirdy types get on to me I can block them then!

    And even though ex is now ex, I still think he's awesome & that whoever gets him will be super lucky so there are great people on OD sites!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 74 ✭✭Out Of The Night


    There appears to be a lot of people on okc looking for friends. Don't get that. It's a dating site!


  • Registered Users Posts: 84 ✭✭PerrDub


    My expieriences would be similar to a lot of people, having first dabbled in the world of online dating 10 years ago and had relationships from.

    Though my recent expierience on POF and Smooch could not be more different.
    A lot of the genuine one's have been driven away by the barrage of naked torso's and men's bit's as well as such requests as "Meet you in ** Hotel room 101 for a date"
    If you are lucky to get chatting to a nice genuine girl it's only a matter of time before the above messages on the site become too much and the woman dissapears from the site never to return!
    On the other hand the types I have messaged which do stick with it are of two kinds, those with little time or opportunities to meet people socially either due to the fact they have kid(s), busy jobs, or are just trying this "for a laugh" cos there friend set it up for them.

    It's a shame that online dating in Ireland has gone this way, so much potential lost from the dizzying number of "dating" sites which enevitably have the same people on all of them.


  • Registered Users Posts: 158 ✭✭miaowsky


    Quite frankly I don't know what is worse, house hunting or relationship hunting!

    So was supposed to have a date 2nite with a lovely guy but he hasn't responded to txt msgs and has deleted his profile from POF. Oh well, he's clearly not all that lovely if he doesn't reply to cancel grrr.

    But check out what I did find today on some guys profile:
    Your not that good looking dont flatter yourself, in fact if you took all the sh*t off your face youd be a bit of a monster, your only activity is drinking, you bore me, youve no sense of humor you CANT mingle. Your sh*t in bed you wouldnt know what fun was if it was forced down your throat. Your lame... go away. youd be doing well to prove otherwise. You think you can have me but its not that easy, you have to work hard to get this man. Im not arrogant only a little bit if your an ***hole your an ***hole simple as.

    Oh and a bit of personality goes a long way... just a bit no pressure, wouldnt want you to suffer from a brain hemorrhage from having to think too much.

    Isn't he charming :p


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