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Engagement Ring

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124

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    #92
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,282 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    jaycen wrote: »
    No, it's not. Guess your fella (idiot) would be better just signing the house over, from the sound of it, that's where it'd end.
    With that kind of attitude you should come with a warning label on your forehead.

    jaycen infracted for personal abuse.


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    #93
    useful_contacts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭useful_contacts


    Dudess wrote: »
    What's so amazing about that?
    ya i agree i am 23 and got engaged at 18


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    #94
    b3t4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,325 ✭✭✭b3t4


    Some of the posters on here have really annoyed me but sure that's always happening :)

    In the scheme of things, I see absolutely no point in berating the OP for what she likes. Shockingly enough not everyone likes the same style of things and that's why the market caters for it. It's not like she expected him to pay X amount on the ring with X carat and blah de blah. All she wanted was a ring she liked. Let's burn her at the stake for wanting such a terrible thing! I mean really people, come on.

    I'd be really upset with this whole scenario, if it happened to me. No matter what I did, whenever I looked at the ring I'd think of my OH's attitude around the engagement and it would make me sad. I'd ask for an engagment do over to displace all the negativity that I had associated with it. :D

    Your OP attitude would worry me. In my opinion, it sounds like he couldn't be bothered.

    A.


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    #95
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    b3t4 wrote: »
    In the scheme of things, I see absolutely no point in berating the OP for what she likes. Shockingly enough not everyone likes the same style of things and that's why the market caters for it. It's not like she expected him to pay X amount on the ring with X carat and blah de blah. All she wanted was a ring she liked. Let's burn her at the stake for wanting such a terrible thing! I mean really people, come on.
    Yeah I agree. If she didn't like the ring when it was first bought, she didn't like it. She can't help how she felt about it.
    b3t4 wrote: »
    Some of the posters on here have really annoyed me but sure that's always happening :)
    All that's annoying me is the "DP" stuff...


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    #96
    Shivers26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Shivers26


    Really sorry about the DP thing, I am a frequenter of RC and we use DP, DH, DW, DS, DD etc you just get used to it. They dont know what OH is over there!!

    Thanks for all the advice, it really did help. I think we will sort it ok. Things were just dodge this morning but we have it part resolved now and when he gets home tomorrow we will sort properly


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    #97
    Ginny
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 13,425 ✭✭✭✭Ginny


    RC? :D

    Yeah I have to say DP and DH just scare me, reminds me of those crazy wedding places.

    Look I think yis are both slightly at fault, but you really need to sit down and sort this out, I would have an issue with him entrusting something so symbolic as buying an engagement to a mate.


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    #98
    Jemmy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,385 ✭✭✭Jemmy


    Well im still on the 'he didn't even pick it himself' part! That would be a no no for me!

    I know what your all going to say to me but call me old fashioned if you like I think he should pick it out himself.:o


    But i'm glad you got it sorted now anyway.:)


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    #99
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,282 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    What's RC?


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    #100
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    useful_contacts wrote: »
    ya i agree i am 23 and got engaged at 18

    married at 21! still am 5 years later.

    ***********

    I'm actually amazed by this whole thing! The man sent his mate off to israel to pick a ring, wtf??? this is one of the most important milestones of a womans (and mans) life, and he gets his friend to pick. Basically, this is a symbol of his love and he didn't even see if before it was purchased. The OP said she bought him a car recently, do you think she'd have had her friend go out and pick that and when he arrived back with a €100 oul banger- after telling the friend to spend 2k, he wouldn't have thought, cr*p that's horrible?

    Of course you can get a nice ring for €400, that's the bloody point the girl is making! She could have had a lovely ring if he had just picked it himself, he knows her more than anyone else so why would he get his friend to pick it up without even giving him guidelines.

    What I think you are all missing here too is that he actually told her that he would pay for the ring work, he was the one who said he'd buy it.

    So let me bring you back to the car situation for a minute, he gets the €100 banger, he tells her he doesn't like it, she's upset but agrees that it is not what she picked for him so tells him they'll go trade it in, so of they pop and pick a nice shinier car for €1500, she tells him that she's happy he's happy and she will of course pay for the new car seeing as she planned on spending that anyway, a few days later when his car is ready and he's all excited about picking it up, she says, oh by the way, i don't feel like paying for this now, you should have just liked the one my friend picked for you, not nice is it???

    Does that make it any clearer for some of you?

    In hind sight, what he probably should have done when he saw the ring, realising you would hate it, is stuck it on ebay, tried to get some money back for it, put that towards the 1600 quid he had left over from his budgeted amount, and start from scratch.

    EDIT: Congratulations on getting engaged!!!!


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    #101
    Zulu
    Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    Deleted User wrote: »
    this is one of the most important milestones of a womans (and mans) life,
    Important milestone? Don't you mean the ring is an important symbol? The ring isn't the question, and I'd suggest the question is the milestone? :confused:
    The OP said she bought him a car recently,
    Did she? I taught I suggested that? :confused:


    Oh and OP, what the hell is RC???
    You are beginning to sound like a LF when you use GNK with a PDE.


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    #102
    Shivers26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Shivers26


    RC = Rollercoaster

    The ring is just a symbol, the question, commitment etc etc is of course the important part.

    It is a pity that he took a chance and just described a ring to his friend rather than getting him a pucture maybe, but sure its done now. I suppose I have essentially gotten to pick my own ring now anyway. I think he wants a do over engagement.

    Zulu - I will get him an 'official' engagement present. Just in the interest of fairness. He still has to wait for Christmas for his PS3 though!!


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    #103
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The do-over is a great idea. Let him at it.


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    #104
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Zulu wrote: »
    Important milestone? Don't you mean the ring is an important symbol? The ring isn't the question, and I'd suggest the question is the milestone? :confused:
    Em, yes, isn't getting engaged an important milestone? I think you'll find it is, and the ring is a symbol of that milestone and of their love. You sound very confused Zulu
    Zulu wrote: »
    Did she? I taught thought I suggested that? :confused:

    Yes - She did......
    Shivers26 wrote: »
    I got him a new car recently so that can be his engagement present :D


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    #105
    Zulu
    Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Em, yes, isn't getting engaged an important milestone?
    Getting engaged is, the ring isn't. ....never mind.
    You sound very confused Zulu
    Well I was, what with you referring to an object as a milestone. But you've clarified, so thanks for that.

    Oh and thanks for correcting my spelling - appreciated. I'm sure there are dozens of posters who didn't understand what I had posted.


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    #106
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    Biro wrote: »
    I'd come to the conclusion that you gave f**k all about the sentiment if you lost it every few weeks.

    well, you would be right, its only a piece of metal and i have never managed to hold on to a ring for more then 4 weeks - i am just being realistic.

    i dont really have any interest in "things"


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    #107
    Peared
    Registered Users Posts: 1,183 ✭✭✭Peared


    Does this drive anybody else bonkers?

    It just comes across as really smug and annoying.

    There is another website where it is rampant and all the women have tickers saying things like 'I love my husband'.

    WTF?

    Reminds me of Bridget Jones smug marrieds.

    Yeah ok in the great scheme of things it's not up there in the top 3 annoying things ever (maybe 4th) but I roll my eyes in a dramatic fashion everytime I see it. Even when Im on my own.

    Oops didnt mean to hijack thread, thought was creating new one. Mods - helps?


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    #108
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Peared wrote: »
    Does this drive anybody else bonkers?

    It just comes across as really smug and annoying.

    There is another website where it is rampant and all the women have tickers saying things like 'I love my husband'.

    WTF?

    Reminds me of Bridget Jones smug marrieds.

    Yeah ok in the great scheme of things it's not up there in the top 3 annoying things ever (maybe 4th) but I roll my eyes in a dramatic fashion everytime I see it. Even when Im on my own.

    Oops didnt mean to hijack thread, thought was creating new one. Mods - helps?
    It's absolutely dreadful - and so forced. As if it comes naturally to people...

    OH and SO are bad enough but the "D" stuff is way worse.


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    #109
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Dudess wrote: »
    It's absolutely dreadful - and so forced. As if it comes naturally to people...

    OH and SO are bad enough but the "D" stuff is way worse.

    +1 and wtf do they all mean?


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    #110
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    nouggatti wrote: »
    +1 and wtf do they all mean?
    OH = other half, SO = significant other.

    I haven't read this whole thread but I don't blame the OP for being majorly annoyed. I mean the guy didn't even pick out the ring himself! He got someone else to buy it - that's just crazy to me! :eek:

    He's supposed to be the one proposing so he should bloody well be able to select the ring himself if he has chosen to go down the "I'll surprise her with the ring route". It's ridiculous actually that he got someone else to choose a ring for his girlfriend. I don't blame the OP for being very upset - some other person has chosen a ring for her to symbolise her and her boyfriend's love which she has to wear for the rest of her life - what does this friend know about what ring she would like - a ring is a very personal thing.

    EDIT: Just read the rest of the thread now - if he had planned on spending €2k originally and agreed to pay the upgrade price (which is still lower than the €2k) then what's his problem? He can't just back out now - he was the one who screwed up by getting a friend to buy the ring for you - that is the biggest no no! Anyway I hope it all works out for you and you get the ring that you like. I understand that it's not the price, it's the thought / if it suits you - how could you wear a ring for the rest of your life that you did not like at all and had to be reminded everyday that your boyfriend didn't even pick it out himself? Hope the new ring is perfect :)


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    #111
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Alot of what has already been said is extremely sensible, I can totally see why Shivers didn't like the ring and why he got peeved and it sounds like the her and yer man are going to sort it all out. However, I have a few questions.
    How well does yer man (dp, oh, yolk) actually know shivers?! If she already had a definite idea of a ring in mind, which she says he knew about, then he should have copped that the ring was obviously very important to her. So, surely would never have taken such a big chance in trusting his mate to pick it out...

    Secondly, if he was going to take that HUGE chance of getting his mate to buy the ring, would you not be fully prepared. Either have picked something out online in a specific shop in Dubai to show your man if possible or how hard would it be to give his friend a pic of the type of ring???

    I know it sounds a bit harsh, and I don't want to force Shivers to defend her relationship online cos that's kind of cruel and she knows how much they love each other, but just to see another side of this debate, if the ring was very important to me and I even had a ring in mind, yeah I would be pissed off over this debacle. I would think my bf was being seriously cavalier in his attitude to ring buying and I would question how much we valued each other's er... preferences. Like somebody else mentioned, if he's that careless about something that means that much to OP, will this issue not keep coming up again and again in different scenarios?

    Don't mean to sound so melodramatic but I'm just saying couples should either have similar values or at least understand and reasonably accomodate each other's values


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    #112
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    OH is the very worst.


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    #113
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    Yup, boyfriend/ fiancé/ husband will do just fine thank you!


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    #114
    coco85
    Registered Users Posts: 153 ✭✭coco85


    I can understand where the OP is coming from.. my OH got me a really expensive pair of white gold diamond earings for Christmas once- they were terrible... and i was not expected to weart them for the rest of my life!!!!!

    Every Christmas when he gives me my gifts he always mentions that he has the receipts and if i would like to exchange anything to let him know- at least he recognises that if i don't like something i should not feel obliged to wear it!...and thats excactly what i did!!!

    The OP's OH didn't even pick out the ring himself.. he obviously didn't put much thought into the process so i don't think he has the right to a) be upset about her wanting to remodel the ring-its not like she wanted a new ring,(and its not like he spent hours picking it out) or b)refuse to pay for the remodeling. I'm not that materialistic but i understand why the OP would want to love wearing her engagement ring and would like her engagement ring to look like an engagement ring in the first place...

    At least she didn't do what my friend did- she threw her engagement ring out the window of their car when she and her OH had an argument.. ring was never found!!!!:eek:

    Sorry about the long ramble but i feel so sorry for the OP and the situation she has found herself to be in!


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    #115
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Dolorous wrote: »
    Yup, boyfriend/ fiancé/ husband will do just fine thank you!

    oh god, and there was me thinking I was supposed to use OH on boards! whoops.....
    thanks for the heads up girls :)


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    #116
    sam34
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    coco85 wrote: »

    The OP's OH didn't even pick out the ring himself.. he obviously didn't put much thought into the process

    to be fair to her boyfriend, i think the reason he got his friend to get the ring in israel was because he thought he'd get a better quality ring for the 2k budget than he'd get here


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    #117
    sam34
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    coco85 wrote: »
    At least she didn't do what my friend did- she threw her engagement ring out the window of their car when she and her OH had an argument.. ring was never found!!!!:eek:
    QUOTE]

    jaysus that friend of yours sounds like a right drama queen. :eek: good enough for her to lose the ring if she behaves in such a childish and histrionic manner, tbh


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    #118
    fits
    Registered Users Posts: 13,269 ✭✭✭✭fits


    pink fluffy bunny wrote: »
    anyway, i agree with you, its only a piece of metal

    Its not 'only a piece of metal'. Its something that can remind you of so many good things everytime you feel it on your finger. Its a physical sign that you are committed to someone.
    pink fluffy bunny wrote: »
    Sorry, you misunderstood - i think €400 is far too much money to spend on a ring in the first place

    i would rather a ring that cost a fifty euros that could be replaced everytime it got lost or even one from a lucky bag cos it is all about the sentiment behind the ring not the cost or value of the ring

    And not everyone feels the same. If thats the way you are, fair enough, but dont berate people for feeling differently to you. If I were wearing a ring for the rest of my life, I would want it to be the one ring, I would take care of it, I wouldnt plan on losing it and I would want to actually like it.
    pink fluffy bunny wrote: »
    [
    i dont wear rings, as i usually lose them after a the first night out.

    tbh i find the whole engagement ring a ghey and 1700's
    Again, not everyone is the same. Some people love the symbolism of it.


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    #119
    coco85
    Registered Users Posts: 153 ✭✭coco85


    sam34 wrote: »
    to be fair to her boyfriend, i think the reason he got his friend to get the ring in israel was because he thought he'd get a better quality ring for the 2k budget than he'd get here

    Point taken.. but if his budget was 2k then he should not have a problem with paying for the remodeling!....either way it was a very impersonal approach for attaining his girlfriends engagement ring...even Argos have pretty rings for 400 euro!!!!


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    #120
    coco85
    Registered Users Posts: 153 ✭✭coco85


    sam34 wrote: »
    coco85 wrote: »
    At least she didn't do what my friend did- she threw her engagement ring out the window of their car when she and her OH had an argument.. ring was never found!!!!:eek:
    QUOTE]

    jaysus that friend of yours sounds like a right drama queen. :eek: good enough for her to lose the ring if she behaves in such a childish and histrionic manner, tbh

    She's not typically a drama queen- i think she was just going through a really really tough patch with her OH..(rough patch still continuing 12 months later..but thats a story for another day and thread!!!)...sorry for thread hogging!!!:)


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    #121
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Does nobody here think he copped out when he went and got his friend to buy the ring for him????? Did he give him a photo and an idea what to buy or just hand him €400 and tell him to come back with a ring????

    In all fairness, for what is such an important gesture he didnt put a lot of effort into it.


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