LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

DeVore · 19-12-2012 12:15pm

ljaulja wrote: »

I don`t need a doctor to know, that im depressed, even tho went to my GP, said how I feel about my life, about myself, lost over 8 pounds of my weight, they are blaming my diet and missunderstandings with with my partner, but can`t explain why am i crying with no reason, having no interest in anything, if start to do something, quit it in week or two. Now i`m wearing kids size clothes for a year (because of my diet), have no friends simply because don`t feel like talking with anybody, constant anger and sadness, lonliness in me.
I use to be different.
And i cant myself.
tried to ring up helplines for depression, but for me its just not working, i dont trust anybody, even myself, my partner and me have everyday arguments about every little thing you can imagine, anger builds up quick.
I am affraid to to stay alone, meaning, partner is gonna leave me, because i dont want to help myself, im not trying, but if you are depressed, u dont look forward for new hobbies, traveling and stuff right?

I call myself helpless.

You are not helpless unless you choose to be.

1. Go talk to a counsellor. GP's are not qualified to handle this stuff generally imho. I *hated* the thought of going to a "shrink". That was pride. It has made a huge difference to my life. It wasnt always pleasant but it always felt like I was getting "better".

2. Talk to your partner. If what you say is true, they love you very much and want to help and probably havent the faintest idea how.

3. This is YOUR life, after reading this you can either click somewhere else on the internet right now, and pretend that you have no control. Or you can google a counsellor in your area and take a step towards the light. Your choice. Right now. Come back to us all cos where you are, I've been and I know, I know... its a really sh*tty place. Theres a path there for you. One step at a time. Make the call.

summerskin · 19-12-2012 12:39pm

I've been seeing a therapist for close to a year and it has helped with many aspects of my life, but we have come to the conclusion that my depression is not being managed and as a result I'm about to start on medication for it for the first time, only small dosage to help regulate my moods. Hopefully it will help me deal with it, it's never too late to try something different.

Drumpot · 20-12-2012 2:44pm

franktheplank wrote: »

@ ljaulja

Probably the hardest part of dealing with depression is that first step of looking for help. Unfortunately for you, when you looked you were ignored.

Find another doctor, this is essential or if you think you can make your doctor listen then do. .

Agreed . .

Ive been struggling on/off with depression/anxiety/insomnia since my early teens. Ive been searching for years for some sort of contentment in life. Nothing crazy, just a balanced day .

Getting help is extremely important, but comitting to that help by trusting in the person helping you is equally important (which is why I changed Drs). . I was constantly assuming that I was a bad patient because my Dr wasnt helping that much (in many regards the Dr made me feel like a hypocondriac).

My new Dr sat with me for over 40 mins and took a completely differant perspective on my condition and It has been a huge factor in my rehabilitation. I think it also empowered me because I was taking control of my condition instead of waiting for somebody else to fumble their way to an answer!

dd972 wrote: »

have experienced depression, thankfully not for very long spells and infrequently, the aspect of it that intrigues me most is how all encompassing it is, ie; you forget the feeling of every good mood, good day, good laugh you've ever had as if you've never ever experienced them or known what they felt like.

and also that feeling of no light at the end of the tunnel, when it does eventually lift it seems to do so totally of it's own accord.

What is funny is that up until recently I didnt know what it was like to feel good. I was either sad or numb, nothing else. I was at the stage where I felt completely isolated and alone (Im married and have loads of great friends). .

DeVore wrote: »

You are not helpless unless you choose to be.

1. Go talk to a counsellor. GP's are not qualified to handle this stuff generally imho. I *hated* the thought of going to a "shrink". That was pride. It has made a huge difference to my life. It wasnt always pleasant but it always felt like I was getting "better".

2. Talk to your partner. If what you say is true, they love you very much and want to help and probably havent the faintest idea how.

3. This is YOUR life, after reading this you can either click somewhere else on the internet right now, and pretend that you have no control. Or you can google a counsellor in your area and take a step towards the light. Your choice. Right now. Come back to us all cos where you are, I've been and I know, I know... its a really sh*tty place. Theres a path there for you. One step at a time. Make the call.

This is one thing its taken me along time to feel. I got used to expecting the worse and so felt that if you dont think things can get better then you cant be dissapointed when it doesnt! Its a self fullfilling prophecy because you accept that this is as good as it gets and any sight of happiness actually made me uncomfortable. Afterall, If I have some happiness and go back to being sad, I will feel even worse!

summerskin wrote: »

I've been seeing a therapist for close to a year and it has helped with many aspects of my life, but we have come to the conclusion that my depression is not being managed and as a result I'm about to start on medication for it for the first time, only small dosage to help regulate my moods. Hopefully it will help me deal with it, it's never too late to try something different.

I suppose everybody takes their own path to try and rehabilitate. I have been on/off medication for nearly 2 decades, but I do believe that it helps you find a certain balance that enables you to delve deeper into problems that you might not otherwise face. Some people can work better under stress and some people cant. If you find that you cant make progress feeling down then perhaps you will move forward with a bit of a boost that sometimes tablets can do. .

big_joe_joyce · 20-12-2012 2:50pm

franktheplank wrote: »

@ ljaulja

Probably the hardest part of dealing with depression is that first step of looking for help. Unfortunately for you, when you looked you were ignored.

Find another doctor, this is essential or if you think you can make your doctor listen then do.

Doctors are human like the rest of us and it looks like your doctor might be one of the dumb ones who think people can 'snap out of it'. From what you've said here, you need help and if you said the same things to your doctor it's very irresponsible for them to just brush it off.

I cannot urge you strongly enough to get help, yes it's hard but when you do life can be worth living again. You can actually feel happy again even if that feels far away right now.

the hardest part is accepting that your always going to have depression , once it arrives , it never really goes away , at best you keep a firm lid on it , its a life changer

DeVore · 20-12-2012 5:37pm

big_joe_joyce wrote: »

the hardest part is accepting that your always going to have depression , once it arrives , it never really goes away , at best you keep a firm lid on it , its a life changer

You know, if you dont wash you will stink... but given that you DO wash, you wouldnt say that you are suffering life long BO?

If you dont take care of your mental cleanliness you're mind will stink too. But given that we CAN do something about it, I wouldnt say that I suffer from life long depression.

This isnt a curse you have to live with forever. This year, because of actions I've taken, has been really good for me. I've felt it creep in and now I have the tools and the intent to deal with it and I chase it back out the door. I havent had one serious bout of it since I wrote this thread and took the actions detailed in it. Meditation, mindfulness, counselling and being aware of isolation, negative thinking and triggers.
All of that my version of "washing every day" and consequently, I dont stink

Mr Benevolent · 20-12-2012 5:49pm

big_joe_joyce wrote: »

the hardest part is accepting that your always going to have depression , once it arrives , it never really goes away , at best you keep a firm lid on it , its a life changer

Depression can be overcome.

Wibbs · 20-12-2012 6:22pm

big_joe_joyce wrote: »

the hardest part is accepting that your always going to have depression , once it arrives , it never really goes away , at best you keep a firm lid on it , its a life changer

What Dev said, plus not so long ago depression was considered an acute illness, not a chronic one. Just speaking from the outside, I feel thinking it's permanent isn't helpful if you suffer from it. May even make it so?

Gongoozler · 30-12-2012 2:45pm

I want people to care! Why is that too much to ask.
I'm considering bringing myself to A&E, but feel like a big attention seeker thinking about doing that. plus if I'm really suicidal why can't I just do it, rather than looking for help...because I don't really want to do it, I just feel utterly ****.
I broke up with my boyfriend because it's too hard. It's not fair on him to be with someone like me. He'd end up breaking up with me soon anyway. He may as well hate me for doing it, better than him having to make that decision. But now I'm absolutely alone. I have one friend. but I can't force myself to talk to him. I don't want to talk to him. I want to talk to my boyfriend. I want him to tell me he loves me too much to let me break up with him. He's not going to. I don't blame him. I don't think anyone would ever love me that much.

My doctor told me that A&E is the answer if I get really bad again. But I don't know what would happen there. And would I really feel any different coming out the other side? Hardly.

excellence · 30-12-2012 3:01pm

Interesting letter in the Irish Independent during the week of one person's recovery from depression:
http://www.independent.ie/opinion/letters/coming-out-the-other-side-3335873.html

Strawberry Fields · 30-12-2012 3:05pm

Gongoozler wrote: »

I want people to care! Why is that too much to ask.
I'm considering bringing myself to A&E, but feel like a big attention seeker thinking about doing that. plus if I'm really suicidal why can't I just do it, rather than looking for help...because I don't really want to do it, I just feel utterly ****.
I broke up with my boyfriend because it's too hard. It's not fair on him to be with someone like me. He'd end up breaking up with me soon anyway. He may as well hate me for doing it, better than him having to make that decision. But now I'm absolutely alone. I have one friend. but I can't force myself to talk to him. I don't want to talk to him. I want to talk to my boyfriend. I want him to tell me he loves me too much to let me break up with him. He's not going to. I don't blame him. I don't think anyone would ever love me that much.

My doctor told me that A&E is the answer if I get really bad again. But I don't know what would happen there. And would I really feel any different coming out the other side? Hardly.

do you have health insurance or are you on public?
A + E isn't great, you would benefit from specialist psychiatrist dealing exclusively with mental health. I would recommend St Pats at the back of St.James but like all the best services you won't get it on public, health insurance required, also if you look on their website they have a helpline manned by experienced staff.

Gongoozler · 30-12-2012 3:14pm

Strawberry Fields wrote: »

do you have health insurance or are you on public?
A + E isn't great, you would benefit from specialist psychiatrist dealing exclusively with mental health. I would recommend St Pats at the back of St.James but like all the best services you won't get it on public, health insurance required, also if you look on their website they have a helpline manned by experienced staff.

I'm on medical card. so pretty much screwed.

lighthouse · 30-12-2012 4:32pm

Gongoozler wrote: »

I'm on medical card. so pretty much screwed.

If you are really serious about your recovery you will be prepared to pay for it. I did. There are also low cost counselling services and I certainly wouldn't recommend a psychiatrist if you are depressed, that is unless you want to walk away with a prescription and diagnosis.

Strawberry Fields · 30-12-2012 4:48pm

Agreed on the money issue but I don't see how prescription or diagnosis would be bad for someone with self harm or suicidal ideology.

Gongoozler · 30-12-2012 4:51pm

I would be prepared to pay for it, if I physically had the money for it. I don't. Therefore I can't.
I already have a diagnosis and a prescription. I've had counselling and it's ended. My psychiatrist has put me back on the list to see someone.

lighthouse · 30-12-2012 6:08pm

Strawberry Fields wrote: »

Agreed on the money issue but I don't see how prescription or diagnosis would be bad for someone with self harm or suicidal ideology.

Gongoozler wrote: »

I would be prepared to pay for it, if I physically had the money for it. I don't. Therefore I can't.
I already have a diagnosis and a prescription. I've had counselling and it's ended. My psychiatrist has put me back on the list to see someone.

I was given a diagnosis and a prescription many years ago and it did absolutely nothing for my suicidal thoughts. I have been off medication now nearly 20 years and overcame my depression with the correct form of psychotherapy. Depression is not for life, it is possible to completely recover from it with the correst help. Regarding the money issue, it's a pity you can't afford therapy. I have always managed to put the money aside to pay for my own therapy and did it all through my own resources.

Gongoozler · 30-12-2012 6:12pm

lighthouse wrote: »

I was given a diagnosis and a prescription many years ago and it did absolutely nothing for my suicidal thoughts. I have been off medication now nearly 20 years and overcame my depression with the correct form of psychotherapy. Depression is not for life, it is possible to completely recover from it with the correst help. Regarding the money issue, it's a pity you can't afford therapy. I have always managed to put the money aside to pay for my own therapy and did it all through my own resources.

I can't help but get a feeling of 'if you wanted it enough you'd find a way' from your posts. But then maybe that's all in my head, with all my other issues.
I'm living on the dole, barely managing as it is. But you're right, there are low cost counsellors out there, and since i'll be cutting down on going out with my bf, i'll be able to use that money.

lighthouse · 30-12-2012 7:08pm

Gongoozler wrote: »

I can't help but get a feeling of 'if you wanted it enough you'd find a way' from your posts. But then maybe that's all in my head, with all my other issues.
I'm living on the dole, barely managing as it is. But you're right, there are low cost counsellors out there, and since i'll be cutting down on going out with my bf, i'll be able to use that money.

You could be right about what you are saying. I was in dire straights, rock botton and on medication. It was either look for alternative ways or else give in to my suicidal thoughts. To go down the alternative recovery route you must have huge determination because you will need it with all the setbacks you'll have.

araic88 · 30-12-2012 10:09pm

lighthouse wrote: »

If you are really serious about your recovery you will be prepared to pay for it. I did. There are also low cost counselling services and I certainly wouldn't recommend a psychiatrist if you are depressed, that is unless you want to walk away with a prescription and diagnosis.

I really disagree with you here. I tried tons of counsellors and never 'clicked' with one, and met some psychiatrists I didn't 'click' with either.
Fortunately I was referred to an excellent psychiatrist and certainly did not just walk out "with a prescription and diagnosis"
I'm sure lots of counsellors are excellent, but I wouldn't be advising someone to access 'low cost counselling' dismissing psychiatry completely

Strawberry Fields · 30-12-2012 10:30pm

When I say pscychiatry in Pats it's a multi disciplinary team with ready access to psychotherapists, psychologists, occupational thereapists, social workers etc. I'm pretty sure you'll find what you need.

lighthouse · 30-12-2012 10:34pm

araic88 wrote: »

I really disagree with you here. I tried tons of counsellors and never 'clicked' with one, and met some psychiatrists I didn't 'click' with either.
Fortunately I was referred to an excellent psychiatrist and certainly did not just walk out "with a prescription and diagnosis"
I'm sure lots of counsellors are excellent, but I wouldn't be advising someone to access 'low cost counselling' dismissing psychiatry completely

Horses for courses. If someone wants to take medication for a "chemical imbalance", good luck to them. I preferred to find the psychological root of my problems and dispense with the medication.

DeVore · 30-12-2012 11:26pm

For others the chemical imbalance IS the root of the problem... its not the same for all people.

Lets all remind ourselves this is a support thread, not a suggestion box

Gongoozler, you are not worthless by any means and you seem to want to get better. Look to yourself and see the good in yourself as clearly as you profess to see the bad. We're all made up of both. The biggest mistake I made was presuming people didnt like me the way *I* didnt like me.

Knockout_91 · 31-12-2012 1:39am

DeVore wrote: »

For others the chemical imbalance IS the root of the problem... its not the same for all people.

Can I just ask, how do you find out if you have a chemical imbalance? I remember asking my doctor about it briefly and she kind of brushed me off.

I've tried so many different psychologists down through the years (about 8 in total), and I found none of them in any way helpful. I felt as though they were more interested in the money than actually helping me. Sure I'm only 21 and I paid one of them €150 a shot for a 60 minute session every fortnight for several months. No result.

I am so tired. Tried medication, useless aswell.

tempura · 31-12-2012 2:09am

Knockout_91 wrote: »

Can I just ask, how do you find out if you have a chemical imbalance? I remember asking my doctor about it briefly and she kind of brushed me off.

I've tried so many different psychologists down through the years (about 8 in total), and I found none of them in any way helpful. I felt as though they were more interested in the money than actually helping me. Sure I'm only 21 and I paid one of them €150 a shot for a 60 minute session every fortnight for several months. No result.

I am so tired. Tried medication, useless aswell.

You probably don't want to hear this, as you have tried so many, but, its about finding the right one.

I spoke to a few people before I found the right person, and then, bingo, I found a councillor who understood exactly where I was coming from. I will never be able to thank that person enough. She was worth her weight in gold. Don't give up

lighthouse · 31-12-2012 2:35am

Knockout_91 wrote: »

Can I just ask, how do you find out if you have a chemical imbalance? I remember asking my doctor about it briefly and she kind of brushed me off.

I've tried so many different psychologists down through the years (about 8 in total), and I found none of them in any way helpful. I felt as though they were more interested in the money than actually helping me. Sure I'm only 21 and I paid one of them €150 a shot for a 60 minute session every fortnight for several months. No result.

I am so tired. Tried medication, useless aswell.

The chemical imbalance theory is a myth propagated by psychiatrists so they can prescribe another chemical(drugs) to "correct" this chemical imbalance. Read Michael Curry and Áine Tubridy's book "Depression: an emotion not an illness."

franktheplank · 31-12-2012 2:53am

lighthouse wrote: »

The chemical imbalance theory is a myth propagated by psychiatrists so they can prescribe another chemical(drugs) to "correct" this chemical imbalance. Read Michael Curry and Áine Tubridy's book "Depression: an emotion not an illness."

I haven't read that book but I know that medication with a really good psychiatrist, who would spend time talking is what works best for me.

Maybe the chemical imbalance thing is a myth but the truth is the causes of depression are really unknown. So somebody else can come along and say CBT is a 'myth' or counselling is a 'myth', in truth nobody knows.

I think the most logical approach is to say there are probably different types of depression, with different causes which react best to different treatments. I would say to Gongoozler that if you are feeling very low and suicidal medication might be your best option in the short term and then you can decide what's best for you.

With regards being on a medical card, to the best of my knowledge you can get to see a psychiatrist at short notice with this. You have to find your local health office and I think everywhere now has a psychiatry team attached, although it may still be in the psychiatric ward of a hospital.

I had a bad spell not so long back and had to go through this system, I was assessed by a nurse had a quick chat with a psychiatrist, got a prescription and joined the waiting list to start seeing the psychiatrist regularly (think it took a month or so.)

This link should put you on the right path. http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/Find_a_Service/LHO/

TeddyTedson · 31-12-2012 3:03am

Sometimes I get a real haze. It's like I have no emotions, feel dead inside.
I go into work and whereas the day before I'd be having a joke with people, on some days I just can't manage a smile. I'd feel very distant or something. I just want to go curl up and hide.
I never really ever feel sad, unless alcohol is involved. I'd often feel like dying for a few days after drinking.
One thing the is starting to worry me a bit is I've started doing properly mental things when I'm drunk. The other night I took a knife to my wrist because I wanted to feel alive in my semi drunken state. Something I hadn't done in years. I have enough scars from that crap.
I also head my neck in a noose one really drunken morning. I had it set up and was building to courage to drop when I heard to front door open, and I immediately disassembled the noose and hid in my room.

Thankfully a lot of the time I feel great. If I'm happy I'm always happier than most. I sometimes can't stop smiling, just the haze days make me a different person. I think some people who I work with must think I'm a bit of a prick because they think I'm blowing hot and cold with them.

pragmatic1 · 31-12-2012 3:13am

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Sometimes I get a real haze. It's like I have no emotions, feel dead inside.
I go into work and whereas the day before I'd be having a joke with people, on some days I just can't manage a smile. I'd feel very distant or something. I just want to go curl up and hide.
I never really ever feel sad, unless alcohol is involved. I'd often feel like dying for a few days after drinking.
One thing the is starting to worry me a bit is I've started doing properly mental things when I'm drunk. The other night I took a knife to my wrist because I wanted to feel alive in my semi drunken state. Something I hadn't done in years. I have enough scars from that crap.
I also head my neck in a noose one really drunken morning. I had it set up and was building to courage to drop when I heard to front door open, and I immediately disassembled the noose and hid in my room.

Thankfully a lot of the time I feel great. If I'm happy I'm always happier than most. I sometimes can't stop smiling, just the haze days make me a different person. I think some people who I work with must think I'm a bit of a prick because they think I'm blowing hot and cold with them.

Have you ever talked to a professional about your feelings Ted.

TeddyTedson · 31-12-2012 3:32am

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Have you ever talked to a professional about your feelings Ted.

I don't think I could. I'd love to, but for what ever reason I can't make myself.
That's a problem I don't think I could overcome.
I can't actually get myself to do things I want to do, how the hell is that even possible! Obviously it's a mental block, but I can't for the life of me break it down.
One things I never talk about with people is my feelings. The old Irish male stereotype trait.

Smidge · 31-12-2012 3:55am

lighthouse wrote: »

The chemical imbalance theory is a myth propagated by psychiatrists so they can prescribe another chemical(drugs) to "correct" this chemical imbalance. Read Michael Curry and Áine Tubridy's book "Depression: an emotion not an illness."

Hi name was Michael Corry,not being a spelling nazi but just in case some one was looking for it.:)

He has also, sadly, passed away.

pragmatic1 · 31-12-2012 4:02am

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I don't think I could. I'd love to, but for what ever reason I can't make myself.
That's a problem I don't think I could overcome.
I can't actually get myself to do things I want to do, how the hell is that even possible! Obviously it's a mental block, but I can't for the life of me break it down.
One things I never talk about with people is my feelings. The old Irish male stereotype trait.

Ted trust me, depression is very common. I'm going through a bout of it myself at the moment. Have a chat with your doctor. I guarantee you it wont be anything out of the ordinary for him.

LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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