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what are you chat up lines??

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  • 04-05-2009 9:46pm
    #1
    shezzie
    Registered Users Posts: 1,626 ✭✭✭


    come on lads and lassies what are your chat up lines....


    and did they work for you????
    Tagged:


«13

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    #2
    Rocky Balboa 2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 278 ✭✭Rocky Balboa 2


    Do you work for Subway??
    Cause you just gave me a foot long


    "You'll do"

    *Hold out your sleeve* "Feel that material. Do you know what that material is? Boyfriend material."

    Then if you get rejected:
    "Lower your standards. I did."
    Or if she says:
    " No. I have standards" you say " I don't. Thats why I asked you"


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    #3
    Rocky Balboa 2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 278 ✭✭Rocky Balboa 2


    Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
    Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
    Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut.



    Man: Is this seat empty?
    Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
    Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck on my cock just yet



    Man: Your place or mine?
    Woman: Both. You go to yours, and Ill go to mine.
    Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my
    car, I don't give a **** where you go.



    Man: So, what do you do for a living?
    Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
    Man: That explains the moustache then!




    Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
    Woman: Unfertilised.
    Man: No problem, Ill just shoot my load up your arse.



    Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
    Woman: But would you stay there?
    Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is
    impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.



    Man: Would you like to dance?
    Woman: Id rather eat glass.
    Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.



    Man: Where have you been all my life?
    Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
    Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.


    Man: You're pretty
    Woman: Piss off.
    Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat bitch.


    Man:did it hurt?
    Woman:what?when i fell from heaven??
    Man:no,when you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch along the way!


  • Options
    #4
    connundrum
    Registered Users Posts: 5,563 ✭✭✭connundrum


    Do girls use chat up lines?

    i.e.

    Hi, I work for Subway, wanna show me your footlong?


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    #5
    tuff1
    Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭tuff1


    i like your hair

    fancy a sh*g big tits?

    and surprisingly they didnt work:confused:


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    #6
    JangoFett
    Registered Users Posts: 854 ✭✭✭JangoFett


    My chat up lines are always from the heart.

    "I'd roll naked in nettles just to have a **** in your shadow"
    "I'd rub broken glass under my foreskin just to throw stones at your sh!t"

    My counsellor says I may have serious issues with women.

    Honestly though, I just get them talking about themselves


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    #7
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    Hi


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    #8
    Thundercats Ho
    Registered Users Posts: 2,541 ✭✭✭Thundercats Ho


    tuff1 wrote: »
    i like your hair

    and surprisingly they didnt work:confused:

    :eek:


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    #9
    Captain-America
    Registered Users Posts: 1,391 ✭✭✭Captain-America


    You seem adequate.


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    #10
    Poccington
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭Poccington


    "How's your belly for a lodger?"

    Works like a charm tbh.


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    #11
    Raze_them_all
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    Do you like cheese? Cos i'm an easy single


    Whats the difference between steak and a blowjob?
    Her: dunno
    You: Wanna go for dinner


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    #12
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    I always found doing the helicopter a shore thing....


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    #13
    Whosbetter?
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,051 ✭✭✭Whosbetter?


    I want your clothes, your boots & your motor cycle


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    #14
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Want to go to Mc Donalds for a happy meal?.:rolleyes:


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    #15
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    shezzie wrote: »
    come on lads and lassies what are your chat up lines....


    and did they work for you????
    What are yours?

    My one and only is would you like to sit on my face?
    It never works.


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    #16
    FearDark
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,425 ✭✭✭FearDark


    Well first of all i use this guys line...
    joeyx.jpg
    and if that doesnt work I use this guys...
    fonz.jpg


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    #17
    Mountain_Surfer
    Registered Users Posts: 200 ✭✭Mountain_Surfer


    Do you have the makings of a sambo in your fridge because I'm pretty sure I'll need a bite to eat when we go back to yours later:D

    Another favourite:

    I may not be the best looking guy in the world but I'm the only one talking to you!


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    #18
    Raze_them_all
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,477 ✭✭✭✭Raze_them_all


    oh I left out.
    *lifts handkerchief(or whatever) to the persons face*

    Does this smell like chloroform to you??


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    #19
    sub-x
    Closed Accounts Posts: 199 ✭✭sub-x


    Raze_them_all wrote: »
    Do you like cheese? Cos i'm an easy single


    That is so terribly cheesy its brilliant (pun intended) ;)

    Come on ladies that should be worth a charity shag at the very least. :D


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    #20
    Quazzie
    Registered Users Posts: 28,887 ✭✭✭✭Quazzie


    You're so sexy, I'd leave lovebites in your shite


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    #21
    445279.ie
    Registered Users Posts: 9,978 ✭✭✭445279.ie


    Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?


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    #22
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Mine is "Gis a sniff of your growler!" :pac:


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    #23
    JangoFett
    Registered Users Posts: 854 ✭✭✭JangoFett


    "You can bring me home, or I can follow you home"


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    #24
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    ''wanna go halves on a baby?''

    never worked:D


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    #25
    Lilyblue
    Closed Accounts Posts: 183 ✭✭Lilyblue


    I'm no Wilma Flintstone but I can make your bedrock ;)

    All the lads love that one...well helps that I am gorgeous ;)


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    #26
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    Mountain_Surfer wrote: »
    Another favourite:

    I may not be the best looking guy in the world but I'm the only one talking to you!
    That's brilliant.
    I will report face slaps back the next time I go to the pub.
    I'm definitely going to use it.


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    #27
    tman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,339 ✭✭✭✭tman


    Deleted User wrote: »
    ''wanna go halves on a baby?''

    never worked:D

    Most likely because you totally fluffed it up;)
    Should be "fancy going halves on a bastard?"


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    #28
    neil_hosey
    Registered Users Posts: 1,712 ✭✭✭neil_hosey


    "Ye don't sweat much for a fat bird"


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    #29
    Shanotheslayer
    Registered Users Posts: 17,191 ✭✭✭✭Shanotheslayer


    ''My phones feeling sad, It doesn't have your number'' Said to me:pac:


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    #30
    banshee_bones
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,160 ✭✭✭✭banshee_bones


    Can I have your name?
    -Why do you not have one of your own?

    How much does a polar bear weigh?
    -i dont know
    neither do i but i know it would break the ice

    Whats a guy/girl like you doing in a place like this?
    -trying to get away from a girl/guy like you

    You have a smile that could light up a whole town
    - and you have a mouth that could accomodate a whole town


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    #31
    Leejo
    Registered Users Posts: 264 ✭✭Leejo


    Whats a place like you doing in a girl like this?


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