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Comments

  • #202
    tyview
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 210 ✭✭tyview


    Hi fionaf,

    To do an official trace you should contact the HSE who now look after the files from the RGAS. Word of warning though, there will be a wait. Give them a ring and they should be able to tell you how to go about it.

    HSE Dublin North East
    Child Care Services, Park House, North Circular Road, Dublin 7
    Tel: 01 – 8387122

    None of us have our original birth certs unless we've gone to the research room in the irish life mall and looked for it. If you want to do the search yourself, this is the first place ou would start. (see the sticky for the details)

    I ended up with my BM being found by the HSE in park house. My SW was great but I did get my BC and had a bit of background on BM and family.

    Best of luck whichever way you choose!


  • #203
    Ticky Boo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭Ticky Boo


    Hi, I'm 37 adopted through HSE in Cork in 73. Wrote to HSE bout 10 years ago, went on waiting list, about a year later got a call to come meet the social worker - cried buckets in her office - got some very basic information. They managed to trace a 'birth' aunt who I met (and subsequently met couzins and other aunt/uncles) it was surreal. I have had a wonderful upbringing with fab parents but as a previous poster says, square peg in a round role. The hole and void you feel in the utter core of your being I found to be quite undescribable for some time, but later learned that it is the same feeling as loss/bereavement. My birth mother did not want any contact - her life is in England now with her husband and two daughters - but along the way, one of the 'aunts' mentioned that my birth mother had another baby shortly after me (a boy) with my birth father - and this baby was also given up for adoption. This was very upsetting although the social worker advised that this can sometimes happen, birthmothers don't properly deal with the adoption/birth and get pregnant again soon. I am now left wondering about this other baby - where and who is he?? The aunt and couzin I met lived just down the road from where I grew up and my (fantastic) husband lived just around the corner from them! This makes me mad in some respects, i mean I could have actually met and married my own couzin (thankfully that didn't happen - just overdramatising) but you know what I mean. The thing is though, re other posters comments about wondering whether or not you look like someone - this is always missing - until you meet a member of your birth family. I felt 'high' and buzzing when I met my aunt because I could see the similarities in our faces, it was very weird - to the point after a few meetings, I didn't follow up on contacting them any further and they did not follow up with me either. I felt like I was putting them in a position given their sister/aunt (my birth mother) did not want contact and had expressly told them not to have anything to do with me. This was very hurtful at the time, although I'm still glad I did the seach as it brought a large element of closure to me - finding out information about the family and the circumstances of my birth and my mother and fathers relationship etc etc. I am happy now thankfully, wonderful hubby, three gorg children - the void is not as large as it was, but it will never leave. Hope sharing my experience helps someone understand that they are not alone in the feelings that come with being adopted . xx


  • #204
    Bod the Munster one!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13 ✭Bod the Munster one!


    Hi , meeting birth brother saturday for 1st time !st contact with any of my birth family! pick any emotion excited, terrified, delighted, wary .. all emotions cover the feelings at the moment,, dont know where to meet dont want to do it in my home, and he's travelling a distance, has anyone any advice on 1st meetings ie dos n donts etc?? :eek:


  • #205
    Ticky Boo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭Ticky Boo


    Best of luck Bod!


  • #206
    Bod the Munster one!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13 ✭Bod the Munster one!


    Ticky Boo wrote: »
    Best of luck Bod!

    dunno bout luck recon zanex be handy xx your earlier post was lovely to read,


  • #207
    fionaf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭fionaf


    thanks tyview for the advice... much appreciated...... im hoping to contact the hse in the next week after my exams...... i just feel like its something i have to do for myself..... even if i never meet my birth mother i would love her to know what a great life she gave me and that i turned out ok :)


  • #208
    sunnie
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sunnie


    hi. im 25 yrs of age and i am adoted. i was born in the coombe hospital in dublin and adopted at 3 days old. i have never looked into finding my birth mother but my adopted father gave me some info about my birth parents when i was younger and it was never hiden that i was adopted. i registered myself with the national adoption board but have heard nothing back as of yet. i am looking for my medical records at the moment.
    can anyone tell me can you start looking online your self or do you have to go through this adoption board?


  • #209
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Sunni-

    If you look here- we have a series of 'Trace Guides' for people who would like to take ownership of their own searches- I'd suggest downloading the appropriate guide and having a read, and then perhaps asking any questions that come to you here (or start a separate thread for yourself).

    You do not need to go through the adoption board- however they do view themselves as the gatekeepers of information- then again that information belongs to you and I.........

    Best wishes,

    Shane


  • #210
    sunnie
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sunnie


    Hi shane.
    I was looking at that traceguide, I have my birth cert. I am looking for recored of my adoption. I know my birth mother wanted to call me by a different name as to what is on my birth cert, would that help me?
    Ive no idea how to go about this.


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  • #211
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    sunnie wrote: »
    Hi shane.
    I was looking at that traceguide, I have my birth cert. I am looking for recored of my adoption. I know my birth mother wanted to call me by a different name as to what is on my birth cert, would that help me?
    Ive no idea how to go about this.

    Hi Sunnie-

    It would be quite usual for adoptive parents to rename children when adopted- for example my birthmum called me James, but my adoptive parents called me 'Shane'. On completion of adoption an amended (shortform) birthcertificate would issue to the adoptive parents with their chosen name for the child.

    Records of your adoption- and seeking them is an entirely different matter to even finding your original birthcert.

    First things first- you write to the agency who handled your adoption (or if they are no longer in existence- to the Adoption Authority who are supposed to have copies of their records), and request 'non-identifying information'. This might include- the firstname your birthmum gave you, where you were born, broadly what part of the country your birthmum was from, and possibly some broad information about her family circumstances- however this will all have been anonymised, there will be no identifying information there.

    Once you have your non-identifying information- you can leverage it, as a stepping stone, to find further information (which will involve a good deal of work for you- but it is good to take ownership of your own search!)

    If you go to the Records room in the GRO (General Register's Office) and request the adoptive children's register- you will find some information (limited) pertaining to your adoption (notably the reference assigned to your adoptive parents, along with your new name and your birth date.

    From the general birth registers- if you follow the steps in the traceguide, you will find your original birthcert- which will have your birthmum's name on it.

    There after- any further information is through investigating further- which could be via electoral registers and/or other means......

    Relying on the Adoption Authority and/or the HSE to come up with medical information for you from your birthmum- is a fairly lengthy process (possibly 3-4 years given their current budgetary constraints).

    If you do elect to search for your birthmum yourself- you do have to realise that its not the case that you track her down, turn up on her doorstep demanding medical information and vanish into the sunset- you are dealing with another human being who has been affected by the adoption process- and you need to take her feelings into account.

    Before you do anything else- I would suggest contacting Barnados- they do a good preparation course for people considering embarking on searching (both adopted people- but also birthparents- and its a really good opportunity to meet people on the other side of the equation- and might give you a better understanding of where your birthmum might be coming from).

    Feel free to ask any questions at all that might occur to you. Best wishes- regardless of what you decide to do.

    Shane


  • #212
    sunnie
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sunnie


    Thanks Shane.
    Ive started my search.
    Will keep you posted.
    Fingers crossed I get somewhere.
    :)


  • #213
    liliq
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,242 ✭✭✭liliq


    Hi! :)
    As in the title... not sure how I never ended up in this forum before!!
    I'm 26, was adopted by my parents at 6 days old through St. Patricks Guild.
    Got in contact with my birth mother when I was about 20, and am still in touch with her... we're not super close, but we get on great when we meet up, talk... we're "facebook friends" as well! :D
    She gave up another girl for adoption about 5 years after me, all I know about her is her name.
    A while after that she met her now husband, and I have 3 half- siblings, who I've properly met once and are brilliant. I've also met one of my birth mothers' sisters, and am hoping I'll get to meet the rest of her family over time. :)
    Not paticulalry interested in my biological father... (not sure if that's a common thing or not, so I hope it's not terrible to be like that!)... I do know a little about him, so maybe that appeased my curiosity!


  • #214
    schoolmouse
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭schoolmouse


    dorisoak,
    schoolmouse here. I could not help noticing that your age is that of my Son who was adopted from the home in Cork and I am wondering whether you are Male or Female.


  • #215
    sunnie
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sunnie


    sunnie wrote: »
    hi. im 25 yrs of age and i am adoted. i was born in the coombe hospital in dublin and adopted at 3 days old. i have never looked into finding my birth mother but my adopted father gave me some info about my birth parents when i was younger and it was never hiden that i was adopted. i registered myself with the national adoption board but have heard nothing back as of yet. i am looking for my medical records at the moment.
    can anyone tell me can you start looking online your self or do you have to go through this adoption board?

    Hey. Just to let ye all know. i am going to meet the sister who handed me over to my adpotive parents on the 13th of june, she is going to give me some non identifingn info about my adoption. :D
    Hopefully this will be the start of my search going to plan. :D


  • #216
    sunnie
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sunnie


    Hi.
    I was wondering if anyone cuold help me.
    im going to the orphanage where i was adopted out of 25 yrs ago. what should i ask when i get there? can I go to the hospital where i was born and get my records from there too?


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  • #217
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,965 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    sunnie wrote: »
    Hey. Just to let ye all know. i am going to meet the sister who handed me over to my adpotive parents on the 13th of june, she is going to give me some non identifingn info about my adoption. :D
    Hopefully this will be the start of my search going to plan. :D

    I hope things went well for you today.


  • #218
    sunnie
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭sunnie


    Moonbeam wrote: »
    I hope things went well for you today.

    Things went really well today. i got 25yrs of questions answered in an hr.
    my birth name, my weight, my parents first names, where they were from, y i was placed. need 2 dig deeper for a bit more info but will get in2 it soon.


  • #219
    kathy finn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 324 ✭✭kathy finn


    great to hear it all went well sunnie, the more info u get the more u want to know. good luck with the rest of ur search..kathy


  • #220
    Bod the Munster one!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13 ✭Bod the Munster one!


    sunnie wrote: »
    Things went really well today. i got 25yrs of questions answered in an hr.
    my birth name, my weight, my parents first names, where they were from, y i was placed. need 2 dig deeper for a bit more info but will get in2 it soon.

    Oh Ive been waiting to hear how it went... delighted for you, take a bow and a deep breath.


  • #221
    schoolmouse
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭schoolmouse


    sunnie wrote: »
    Things went really well today. i got 25yrs of questions answered in an hr.
    my birth name, my weight, my parents first names, where they were from, y i was placed. need 2 dig deeper for a bit more info but will get in2 it soon.

    Hi sunnie
    glad to see that things are starting to in the right direction for you keep heart and things will work out ok.Best wishes schoolmouse


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  • #222
    confuzzled87
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭confuzzled87


    Hey guys,
    Just started my search for my biological parents. I am on the Cunamh waiting list and just registered with the Adoption registry.
    Born May 7th 1987 in the Rotunda hospital.
    I was told that my biological mother was from the south east but lived and working in banking in Dublin and that my biological father was a professional musician.

    Would like to do more to search but I am living in America now for a year for work. Unable to try find my birth cert in Dublin.
    Can anyone give any extra advice??

    Thanking you!


  • #223
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Confuzzled87- you're going about things the right way. The first step is to try to get as much 'Non-identifying' information as possible. Cunamh are a little better in this respect than they used be in the past.

    Once you have non-identifying information- the next logical step is to leverage this information to find your original birth cert- and from there that of your birthmum and any other siblings you may have.

    The traceguide that we host here, details how to do this- step by step.

    I appreciate that as you're in the States, logistically it may be difficult to find the time to get into the Research Room to find your birth certificate. Do you have any close friends who might be willing to help with this?

    Alternatively- if you put out a call for a search angel on the old Adoption Ireland Yahoo list (here) you may be able to find a helper who can assist.

    Best of good luck to you with your search- feel free to pop in and out with any questions or situations you'd like people's thoughts or experience with.

    Best wishes,

    Shane


  • #224
    confuzzled87
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭confuzzled87


    Thanks very much for the advice. A great help. Will keep posting if I find out more. This is exciting and so weird at the same time!


  • #225
    Sentosa007
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭Sentosa007


    Hello
    for the last few years i've been tracing my birth mother, well the agency has!
    Not a great outcome really.... according to the agency my birthmother isnt the full shilling (sorry probably not the best words). Turns out she doesnt even remember giving birth to me :(

    I also found out that i have 2 older siblings and 2 younger siblings....which is mental cause im an only child.... the 2 older siblings were kept and raised by their grandmother and me and the 2 younger siblings were given up for adoption.

    So a few months back i asked the agency to trace the 2 younger siblings, at least if we did meet up it would be some support if we ever got to meet up with our birthmother....

    so its just a waiting game really...

    No support at home with this, my adoptive parents dont know im tracing... boyfriend isnt the best at these kinds things and none of my friends know.... And anyways they have their own thing going on!! think its cause been an only child i've always kept things to myself lol! selfish ha!

    Good luck to everyone tracing!


  • #226
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,965 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    Thanks for sharing your story with us.

    Was it in Ireland?
    Your birth mother never married?


  • #227
    Sentosa007
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭Sentosa007


    yes in Ireland, even the same city!!
    No she wasnt married, as far as i no she didnt tell my father she was pregnant....as they broke up....but the mad thing is they got back together and had a futher 2 kids which were given up for adoption aswell...


  • #228
    Hermy
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 11,421 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hermy


    canihave wrote: »
    As a birthmother I feel I have messed up for her...

    Hi canihave,

    I'd like to disagree with the above if I may. I was adopted from St Patricks in 1977 and my parents are absolutely terrific and if I ever did make contact with my birthmum I'd like her to know that first and foremost. So don't be so sure of having messed up for her. Despite all the heartache adoption can be a positive experience and who's to say your daughter doesn't feel the same way too.:)

    Genealogy Forum Mod



  • #229
    Auguste Comte
    Registered Users Posts: 1,143 ✭✭✭Auguste Comte


    Hi
    My story so far.
    I'm 46, living in Dublin, was raised by an amazing couple who gave my big sister (adopted also) and myself everything they possibly could and we could not have been shown more love by anybody.

    Dad is gone a good few years and we lost Mum recently which is what has led me here.

    We have always known we were adopted and it was just the way things were, no big issue but not anything we ever talked about.

    Sis who has lived abroad for over 30 years is in contact with her birth Mum who we have known her all our lives, Sis only became aware of the relationship when she was in her late teens and they exchange letters, the occasional phone call and visits when Sis comes home.

    I on the other hand have very little info on my passed and have only really felt the need to find out what I can and see who might be out there since Mum passed. I often thought about looking but never felt the need.

    So what I know, I was born in the UK, London and adopted here very young. I think I know my birth name and that is about the lot.

    I'm about to apply to The Adoption Authority of Ireland for whatever info they have on me and try to follow the gide from there.

    One question someone might know the answer to as its not clear to me, where would I have to go to do a birth cert search, here or the UK? It said on UK.gov site that I would have to get it from the authority's here because I was adopted here ?

    I'll keep the forum updated on progress, might start a thread. Any tips, advice, or help of any kind is most welcome.

    Thanks for reading.
    Auguste


  • #230
    STANDCLEAR!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 121 ✭✭STANDCLEAR!!!


    Hi guys,

    New to this so here it goes! I have a half brother in Ireland somewhere and I would love to find him. Where on earth would I start?? He was adopted in late 70's early 80's

    Any help would be great!


  • #231
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,965 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    Have you tried the national adoption contact register?


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  • #232
    odinreln
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭odinreln


    Hi. I'm 28, I've known i was adopted since i can remember. I've never had any issues with it, and have always been very open about it, as have my siblings.

    A couple of years ago i found my bm, and we have now met a few times. I've been taking it very slowly, and things are good. The last meeting was the nicest i think because we are getting more comfortable and conversations are just flowing nicely. But i still think the key for me, is taking months in between contact. It's helped me figure out my thoughts and feelings on the matter.

    Will probably meet her parents next time. They are my dads age, which is kinda funny.


    O


  • #233
    Sherrybell
    Registered Users Posts: 7 ✭Sherrybell


    Hi, I'm 28 and searching for my birth mother/family. Haven't gotten further than the contact preference register and writing to the board for my non-identifying information, as I have very few details and I'm not even sure if they are correct.


  • #234
    Wyyldfaery
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭Wyyldfaery


    I'm 24 and adopted..always known ive been adopted...just got a letter in the door from a social worker saying there are "relatives who want news of me"...this has caused interesting reactions from my parents...they literaly have ignored it and ive no idea what to do!! id love to find out more about my birth mother but dont know what to do now! I love my family...had the best life i could have asked for and im soo lucky and thankful that i was adopted into this family and not any other one!!!


  • #235
    tyview
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 210 ✭✭tyview


    Wyyldfaery wrote: »
    I'm 24 and adopted..always known ive been adopted...just got a letter in the door from a social worker saying there are "relatives who want news of me"...this has caused interesting reactions from my parents...they literaly have ignored it and ive no idea what to do!! id love to find out more about my birth mother but dont know what to do now! I love my family...had the best life i could have asked for and im soo lucky and thankful that i was adopted into this family and not any other one!!!

    God thats a hard one Wyyldfaery. You might want to try and sit your adopted parents down and talk it out with them. They are most probably in as much shock as you at the moment. You can only be honest with them and ask them to be as open with you as they can be. Have you rang the social worker back to find out more information? You could always exchange information with your BM (or whoever it is) for the moment and leave any face to face contact for a while. This would give your parents some time to get used to things too. I feel for you, its very hard.


  • #236
    Jerseylad
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭Jerseylad


    Hi all, I'm Paul and I am 43 years old. I was born in St Patrick's Home, Navan Road, Dublin 7 on the 14th December 1968. I was adopted by two fantastic people who have given me the best up-bringing I could have wanted. I have obtained non-identifying information about my birth and birth-mother and I'm about the start a search. I have registered with Cunamh for information and a trace, but the waiting list is about 3 years, I have also registered in the Contact Preference list, no 'Match' so far.

    My brith-mother was 19 and her name was Ann. Her mother, Father and sister knew about my birth and as far as I can tell helped her with the adoption process. She I believe was from Dublin and my Birth-Father (Paddy) was 23 years old.

    Don't know really why I putting this information on this forum or what I will get back. We will see.


  • #237
    ModeMadFan
    Registered Users Posts: 36 ✭ModeMadFan


    Hi All,

    I wanted to throw my tuppence worth in to the debate. I had dealing with a Social worker there when the office was in Haddington Road. Christine was her name and she was very nice and helpful. She found my birth Mother quite quickly but that was almost 15 years ago. I was told some things about my natural family like my parents married and had a number of siblings including twins. They said that there were not ready to meet as the children were wrong. As you all know there is that part of you like a jigsaw that is missing and will never go away until you get the answers you so crave. Anyway the weird thing is that I have asked a couple of Private Investigators to search for them and to date nothing. I've even gone into the Records office to try and trace the twins whom I believe, according to the information given to me, were born between 71-73. And Nothing!!

    So now I am questioning everything I was told by Christine. Also I am questioning if my Mother came up with all this to throw people off the scent.

    Like the other people I've found the marriage certificates of everyone with her name but again nothing.

    I'm going to chance talking to Sister Francis who was really rude the last time I spoke to her about 18 months ago. I happened to phone when she was going on her holidays and she said she would ring back!! Nothing again.

    I am so annoyed and frustrated that St Patrick's Guild have a file on me and I am not entitled to the information contained within it!! I know that's the way things are but it is so unfair to adopted people!!

    I'll finish now before I explode and wish all who are searching the best of luck because I am now starting to question everything I was told about my natural family as every lead comes up as a dead end!!

    Gary:mad:


  • #238
    sean1976
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 83 ✭✭sean1976


    Hi
    I was never officially adopted I was long term fostered with the same family since I was 6 months old. I am now 35 married with my own family.
    I have my original birth cert and know my birth mothers name. I now feel it is time for me to trace my family back ground I would love any information on what's the best way to go about this. I was born 09/11/1976 my name on my birth cert is Barry Martin and my mothers name is Mary

    Thanks


  • #239
    tyview
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 210 ✭✭tyview


    sean1976 wrote: »
    Hi
    I was never officially adopted I was long term fostered with the same family since I was 6 months old. I am now 35 married with my own family.
    I have my original birth cert and know my birth mothers name. I now feel it is time for me to trace my family back ground I would love any information on what's the best way to go about this. I was born 09/11/1976 my name on my birth cert is Barry Martin and my mothers name is Mary

    Thanks

    Hi Sean, the best thing to do would be to contact the HSE in your area and they can put you in contact with their adoption and fostering social workers. You ideally would like as much information from ther file as possible. I'm not sure if the same rules would apply as an adopted person, you may be entitled to alot more info than us. From there you could ask the social workers do a trace for you or you can take it on yourself. The first step to trace yourself would be a trip to the GRO research room to see if your BM married (using the info from your file to narrow down the area as much as possible)

    You could check out the hse website and have a look at the not legally adopted for more info
    http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/Find_a_Service/Children_and_Family_Services/Adoption_and_Tracing/Tracing_Services_/

    Hope this helps


  • #240
    sean1976
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 83 ✭✭sean1976


    tyview wrote: »
    sean1976 wrote: »
    Hi
    I was never officially adopted I was long term fostered with the same family since I was 6 months old. I am now 35 married with my own family.
    I have my original birth cert and know my birth mothers name. I now feel it is time for me to trace my family back ground I would love any information on what's the best way to go about this. I was born 09/11/1976 my name on my birth cert is Barry Martin and my mothers name is Mary

    Thanks

    Hi Sean, the best thing to do would be to contact the HSE in your area and they can put you in contact with their adoption and fostering social workers. You ideally would like as much information from ther file as possible. I'm not sure if the same rules would apply as an adopted person, you may be entitled to alot more info than us. From there you could ask the social workers do a trace for you or you can take it on yourself. The first step to trace yourself would be a trip to the GRO research room to see if your BM married (using the info from your file to narrow down the area as much as possible)

    You could check out the hse website and have a look at the not legally adopted for more info
    http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/Find_a_Service/Children_and_Family_Services/Adoption_and_Tracing/Tracing_Services_/

    Hope this helps

    Hi thanks for that got not the she and have now sent off a foi form to gain access to. My file .


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  • #241
    PJD51
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭PJD51


    I am new to this



    Not been on boards before, but have found it very informative.I also am a Bessboro baby, born November, 1951 to a young Cork girl who was deserted and abandoned by here family for being pregnant out of wedlock. I feel my story is different to majority of the babies born at Bessboro due to the determination of my birth mother, the intervention and empathy of June Goulding at that time and finally the publication of her very emotive book "THE LIGHT IN THE WINDOW",< which she had promised mum she would write> and I quote ;the only mother and baby I ever managed to get out of Bessboro were Molly and her little girl, Patricia. I am the little girl.


    PJD


  • #242
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Welcome to the forum Patricia, I'm sure you have lots of very interesting and informative things we can all learn from you! Great to see you here. I haven't read 'A light in the Window' in a while- I'm definitely going to dust off my copy.


  • #243
    PJD51
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭PJD51


    smccarrick wrote: »
    Welcome to the forum Patricia, I'm sure you have lots of very interesting and informative things we can all learn from you! Great to see you here. I haven't read 'A light in the Window' in a while- I'm definitely going to dust off my copy.


    Thank you for your welcome,
    I have struggled for a while whether to inform people who may be interested in mums and myselfs past, there are only a few close friends who are aware and have been horrified at the treatment mothers and baby endured in this terrible place, after reading Junes book.
    With the very sad death of mum <molly> this January 2012 I have been very troubled by her unfortunate past and it is only as one gets older that the realization of what she gave up, for the love of me. We always had a special bond and although we talked alot I feel a lot of questions have gone unanswered as some aspects she found very upsetting. I consider myself privileged and so lucky to have had sixty wonderful years with her,its very hard without her.
    I can really feel for all the Bessboro babies who are still searching for their birth mother.
    You will find part of mums story in chapter 13 Mollie`s Escape and page 204/205 at the end in EPILOGUE.
    MANY THANKS

    PJD


  • #244
    annadoll1985
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭annadoll1985


    Hi everyone. Finding this forum really informative, i too am adopted and have known all my life.i was born in Sep of 1985 from st Patrick guild and adopted by a fantastic family. I have a little girl of my own now and somehow getting in contact with my birth mother seems more important to me now. I have been in touch with sister Francis in st Patrick guild and to be honest found her less than helpful.my sister who is adopted also managed to track her birth parents down and when she die .she learned that much of the information givin to her by sister Francis was false. This obese me think is there other ways of starting the search ?


  • #245
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Hi Anna- welcome to our forum.
    Yes- there are other ways of searching, please have a look at our traceguides here, which detail how you trace by yourself.

    If any of us can help you in any way please don't hesitate to ask,

    Best wishes,

    Shane


  • #246
    mickel90
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭mickel90


    Hi I'm 22 and I've recently made contact with my birth mother. I was in St. Patrick's Guild in Dublin and was adopted at 6 weeks. I only made contact with the agency back in May and they'd replied to me by August with news that my mother wanted contact. We've sent a few letters since and I'm hoping to meet her before Christmas. I don't think I'll ever meet my father but I guess I'm lucky as my mother's current husband knows about me. I really hope anyone looking for their children or parents succeeds, I know how much it means to me.


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  • #247
    ModeMadFan
    Registered Users Posts: 36 ✭ModeMadFan


    Best of luck. I hope it works out well for you.


  • #248
    christmasbaby
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭christmasbaby


    Ok, where to start?!

    I am the same as some posters on here, never thought about meeting my BM but was happy that she placed me with my wonderful family!! Mam Dad and 2 brothers who i love!

    I am now in my thirties and had recently watched a uk programme about women who had given up babies and were distraught, and the whole process had ruined there lives basically. I suddenly got the feeling that I would not like my BM to go through this for all of her life, so decided to search!

    Went as did lots of people on here to the irish life mall, found the reading room and sat down to research. I was born christmas day and knew what my original name was to be so my lovely wife found my original birth cert in 10 minutes!! Only baby born this day with my name! All others were mainly called noel, holly etc So i had a place to start!

    With this name we found that she was from kildare and had several brothers and sisters, around 9 I think! Anyway we got this far and no further!

    So contacted patricks guild who were very helpful, they in turn contacted bm and got the ball rolling. Found out ive got two sisters and a brother by the same father and they got married......chuffed.

    next step was to make contact through letter, but i had heard i had siblings and ever the impulsive git i wanted to meet them asap, i had only been given the brothers name but was enough as we were convinced we had the right family.

    Using the modern miracle that is facebook and my wife the budding PI, we found the family using the original info we had, searched for the brothers name we were given and hey presto found the family i had been searching for!! looking at them i knew they were mine, considering they all looked a bit nuts!! But the resemblance between all the siblings is uncanny! I really wanted them to be mine but didnt dare hope until a new photo was put up by my sister on christmas and a friend of the family wrote on it.....any word on the bro? This was just weeks after i had sent a card! To which my sister replied "yes mam got a lovely card, very excited!!"

    Ok, these are indeed my blood relatives, guess where they live??! Yes, in the same town!! 5 minutes away! So, new years eve comes, I decide if its meant to be I will meet them tonight on the town! Low and behold who do I see in the smoking area of the bar?! My sister who according to facebook is very excited to meet me!! So I walk up to her and look her in the eyes and ask her "are you (insert name here?)and that Ive been searching for her ever since i heard about her, we both stare at each other with what we know now was recognition,and then burst out crying.......the rest as they say is history, I have met my lovely bm and bf and my two other lovely siblings and I can safely say I love them fiercely and am so happy I looked!!

    Probably not the most advisable way to do it, but it has worked out amazingly well for us all!!

    Best of luck to all searching


  • #249
    ModeMadFan
    Registered Users Posts: 36 ✭ModeMadFan


    Christmasbaby, delighted for you that the outcome was so positive. Enjoy it as some of us are not so lucky. But genuinely happy for you.

    Gary


  • #250
    Eamo71
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 644 ✭✭✭Eamo71


    Hello my name is Eamon. I was born on 14/04/1971 at St Patrick's Mother and Babies home on Navan Road. I was adopted sometime in 1972. I have just begun initial inquiries about my "secret" past. It's encouraging to know from sites such as adoptionrightsalliance.com that I can access my "original" birth cert from the General Registration Office once I get some non identifying information.
    Anyway if there's any St. Patrick's folk knocking around the forum please do get in touch with me as I'd love to hear from you.


  • #251
    gpcrotty
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭gpcrotty


    PJD51 wrote: »
    Thank you for your welcome,
    I have struggled for a while whether to inform people who may be interested in mums and myselfs past, there are only a few close friends who are aware and have been horrified at the treatment mothers and baby endured in this terrible place, after reading Junes book.
    With the very sad death of mum <molly> this January 2012 I have been very troubled by her unfortunate past and it is only as one gets older that the realization of what she gave up, for the love of me. We always had a special bond and although we talked alot I feel a lot of questions have gone unanswered as some aspects she found very upsetting. I consider myself privileged and so lucky to have had sixty wonderful years with her,its very hard without her.
    I can really feel for all the Bessboro babies who are still searching for their birth mother.
    You will find part of mums story in chapter 13 Mollie`s Escape and page 204/205 at the end in EPILOGUE.
    MANY THANKS

    PJD
    Hi Patricia I remember my mother telling us of you and your mum regards Gerald


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